❝𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩
𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘸,
𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥.❞
The weekend passed incredibly slowly for two reasons that Natalia was certain about— she was worried about how Sophie's arraignment would go Monday morning, and she couldn't stop thinking about her last interaction with Mr. Murdock.
She replayed the way he had caressed her features over and over again in her mind, all weekend. By the time Monday rolled around, the memory of how his fingertips felt against her skin was disappearing. She had less and less to hold onto as she thought back to that moment, yearning for him to touch her again so she could feel it in full force once more. The thought of his hands on her made her stomach erupt in a blaze of butterflies, constricting all the way up her spine into her chest, squeezing her heart so harshly that she felt like she couldn't breathe.
She hadn't even realized she was spaced out, staring at her coffee cup as she sat at her desk on Monday morning, until the sound of the front door opening pulled her from her daze.
The nerves in her stomach churned uneasily as she heard the voices of Mr. Murdock and what she could only guess to be the new intern talking as they entered the law firm together. The soft tone of her voice made Natalia immediately feel small, which only further irritated her— why did she care? What did the sound of this girl's voice have to do with anything? Was it because there was another intern to compete with?
For the job and for him.
No.
Rubbing her temples tiredly, Natalia groaned.
"Here, let me introduce you to our other intern."
Her back straightened as she heard Mr. Murdock's words, adjusting her blazer and fluffing her bangs quickly as she cleared her throat. She didn't feel nearly ready enough to meet this mysterious woman with the soothing voice, but she shoved her insecurities down and forced a friendly smile on her lips as a knock sounded against the office door.
Just as she suspected, the new intern was stunning. As they entered the office, she had to use every ounce of strength inside of her to keep the disappointment from showing across her features. The first thing she noticed was how tall the new girl was, her legs were long, leading all the way up to her short pencil skirt she donned. Even her black hair was long, cascading down her back and shoulders in waves that matched her voice— smooth. Her green eyes were striking, her dark mascara making them pop even more as they studied Natalia with an unreadable expression.
She knew Mr. Murdock couldn't see her, but if he could—
"Natalia, this is Sloane," Mr. Murdock introduced the raven-haired beauty coolly. "Sloane, meet Natalia."
"Hello," Natalia mumbled feebly with a small wave.
"Hi. It's so nice to meet you!"
Natalia hadn't expected such an exciting greeting, making her eyebrows raise for a fraction of a second before she composed herself. Sloane smiled widely, flashing her perfect teeth, as she bounced on her heels. She wondered if she was this boisterous all of the time— she made a mental note to pack some ibuprofen in her purse for the future. Being so happy wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but her headache prone brain wouldn't like it too much.
Sloane was the ultimate package, really. Tall, beautiful, chipper. Natalia couldn't help but question if she was the type of girl that Mr. Murdock would go for, because that she couldn't do. She always wanted to be the girl with a lot of confidence and positivity but it didn't come easy when all she'd been dealt were struggles.
You shouldn't care at all what his type is.
He's your boss that you've known for a week.
Giving another half-hearted smile, Natalia watched helplessly as Mr. Murdock guided Sloane towards Foggy's office, his hand hovering over the small of her back. The notion was minuscule, but her poor heart reacted as if it was the biggest thing in the entire world. The bile rose in her throat as she swallowed it down thickly, her head falling into her palms once she was alone again.
"Sophie's arraignment went the way we had hoped."
Jerking her head up, she was surprised to see him standing in front of her desk. She hadn't even heard him walk back into the office.
"It did?" she asked softly.
Hearing about Sophie sent her crashing back down to reality, ripping her from her erratic thoughts about her boss and the new intern. It grounded her— reminded her of why she was here. This was important. Sophie Greene was important. The new intern sending jealous pangs in her stomach was not.
He nodded. "She was released on bail. And the judge granted her to be released from custody until the trial starts in two weeks."
Sighing audibly in relief, Natalia closed her eyes for a moment. Sophie deserved to relax at home before dealing with reliving what happened to her in front of an entire courtroom. The trial would be one of the hardest things she would ever have to do. It was no easy feat explaining the details in front of strangers who were ultimately determining someone's fate.
"She deserves that."
"She does."
It was silent for a beat before he cleared his throat.
"I would normally have Foggy with me during the trial," Mr. Murdock continued gently, his thumb fidgeting with the top of his walking stick. "But I was thinking that you should be there. You've built a rapport with her and you should be able to see it through."
"Me?" she asks in surprise, blinking rapidly up at him. "Really? You think I should be there?"
"Of course I do."
The smile that formed along her lips was the first genuine smile she'd had in a while as she stood up quickly from her desk, brushing a few strands of hair behind her ears. Her cheeks ached as she pressed the back of her hand against them briefly before rounding the desk and wrapping her arms around his shoulders without warning. She hadn't even had time to register what she was doing until she was already doing it. He was a lot broader than she had realized, which only made her stomach do somersaults.
Jesus Christ, Nat.
His walking stick clattered to the ground from her impact, his hands freezing slightly as she squeezed him for a fraction of a second— gasping breathlessly before letting go and taking a giant step backwards.
"Jeez, I'm sorry," she mumbled, staring down at her boots as her aching cheeks began to burn. "That was unprofessional of me. I apologize. I, um, just— thank you."
If there was a time to disappear, it would be now.
The embarrassment that had her heart in a vice grip was soothed by the sound of him laughing softly, making her jerk her head up to peek at him sheepishly. A smile was spread across his face in her direction that made her knees wobble. Her hand rested on her desk to steady herself as she swallowed thickly.
"It's okay, Ms. Bennett," he reassured her. "Don't apologize for being passionate about something. It's what makes you good at what you do."
Like music to her ears, his cellphone started to ring, interrupting their humiliating conversation as he whisked it out of his pocket to put it to his ear. He gave a tiny finger in the air before he walked away, excusing himself, sending her heart thumping through her chest once more as she watched him leave the office. Her shoulders sagged as she rounded her desk to sink back down into her chair.
Natalia wanted to bang her forehead gently against her desk— why couldn't she manage to get herself together around him? She was either embarrassing herself or drooling and it made her blood boil underneath her skin that she couldn't control any of it.
She was a hostage to her own emotions.
And there was still a mandatory eight hours left of the work day to get through, which only made her groan internally. Between the new intern and her growing headache, she wasn't sure how she was going to survive the shift. The answer was coffee. Lots of coffee and burying her head in emails, subpoenas, and affidavits. If her face was hidden behind her computer screen all day, she wouldn't have to look at him. Although it didn't help her migraine whatsoever.
It seemingly worked enough to get Natalia to lunch time, where she whisked up her purse and coat before disappearing from the office as quickly as she could without appearing completely out of her mind. Out of her peripheral, she could see Mr. Murdock's head twisted in her direction as she stormed out of the room before he could say anything to her. She just needed air. She needed food. She needed to think properly. She couldn't do that here.
Had she made a mistake interning at Nelson and Murdock? Was she not capable of setting her feelings aside to focus on her career? Had she lost every last brain cell that she had left?
There was nothing else that could possibly make this day any worse.
Except maybe Sloane standing outside of the sandwich shop that Natalia had decided to get her lunch from. With a defeated sigh, she joined the line, standing two people behind the new intern— who scrolled on her phone with her manicured nails. It only brought all of her frustrations to the forefront the longer she had to stare at the back of her neatly groomed head. There wasn't even one single hair that was out of place.
Who managed to get their hair to stay like that?
Who?
Natalia self consciously fluffed her bangs as she looked down at the concrete. She could pretend to feel sick, go home early, and free herself from the absolute worst Monday on the planet. She could ditch right now. Never contact Nelson and Murdock again. But that thought swirled nauseously inside of her stomach, refusing to settle.
Anxiety had always gotten the best of her. It was her worst enemy at times. Before her parents died, before what had happened the night of her thirteenth birthday— she'd been a normal girl. She had her first crush, the best group of friends, and her parents were the type that were still in love and were never afraid to show it. She wanted a love like that. She wanted a family like theirs. Until there wasn't a family anymore. Everything was happy until it wasn't. But isn't that how life goes?
Bad things happen to good people.
Something her therapist had told her.
Despite being a foot away from her the entire time, Sloane had never even realized Natalia was there. It was as though she hadn't met her a few hours ago, like she didn't even exist. She ordered her food, twisted to walk back to the law firm, and didn't even glance her way. But perhaps that's what Natalia wanted, to avoid being seen, so that she wouldn't have to force anymore friendly smiles.
She didn't have any more friendly smiles left in her. Her energy felt depleted today.
As she got up to the counter to order, she made a mental note to give her old therapist a call. It had been a while since she had felt this exhausted emotionally, and she knew better than to let it get too far that she couldn't pull herself out again.
Ordering her food and thanking the cashier softly before she walked back to the office, Natalia sucked in a deep breath. The crisp air felt nice against her warm cheeks as her heels clicked against the sidewalk, ruffling her hair and permeating her coat. The fresh air was much needed, she had already started to feel marginally better as her walk came to an end, approaching the entrance of Nelson and Murdock.
The warmth of the office blanketed her as she walked inside, shivering slightly as her goosebumps were masked. Mr. Murdock was still sitting at his desk as she entered his office, clearing her throat slightly to announce her presence as she sat her lunch down to take off her coat. It was comfortably quiet, as it usually was, which was one of her favorite things about being here. She could eat in peace, basking in the silence as she enjoyed her Italian BLT.
Natalia enjoyed the silence so much that she wallowed in it for the next four hours.
It was five o'clock— and she'd normally stay after her shift, normally she would be more enthusiastic to be here and not go home. But she wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and stay cocooned there forever.
Pulling on her coat, Natalia stood from her desk as she swiped her hair from being stuck inside of the collar. Her stomach churned with guilt as she watched Mr. Murdock's head lift in her direction out of the corner of her eye, but she kept her gaze on her hands as she grabbed her purse and slung the strap over her shoulder. She'd almost escaped successfully, almost, until his soft voice tore the silence like music to her ears.
"Are you okay?"
Turning to look at him, standing partially in the doorway, she hummed. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just tired I suppose."
Her mouth dried as he stood up, leaving his walking stick perched against his desk as he rounded it, approaching her as if he could see everything perfectly in front of him.
"You've been quiet since you came back with your lunch."
Natalia gulped quietly as her chin lifted to look up at him. His face was only inches away from hers now, tilted in her direction as his eyebrows furrowed faintly. Her heart thudded erratically against her chest at their proximity, sending flashes of him caressing her face through her mind. Her knees wobbled at the memory.
"I'm really just tired," she rasped weakly. "It's been a long day."
He took a long, deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling as his hand fidgeted by his side. As her eyes flickered down to the movement, she practically choked on a gasp as it reached up slightly to grasp her wrist, tugging her back into the office as the other hand closed the door quietly. Her heartbeat was deafening in her ears as she gawked up at him, her wrist burning hot from his touch.
"Natalia, when are you going to stop lying to me?" he whispered, his fingers loosening as he dropped his hand back to his side.
Words, Nat. Find words.
"I'm not lying," she breathed, but her voice was hardly above a whisper. "I'm okay. Really, I'm—"
And then suddenly his hand was pressed against her chest, right where her heart was pounding harshly. The warmth penetrated her sternum, paralyzing her, rendering her speechless as her lips parted. It was like it was under his spell, beating just for him.
"I can hear it. Your heart," he mumbled, swallowing thickly. "I picked up on your heartbeat the moment you stepped into my office on that first day."
It took every fiber in her body not to squirm underneath his touch, her chest heaving weakly as she tried to catch her breath.
"It was loud. It demanded attention," Mr. Murdock murmured gently, his thumb rubbing back and forth ever so faintly over her chest. "Just like you."
Her nipples pricked beneath her clothes as his thumb tickled her skin through her shirt, goosebumps encapsulating her entire body.
"I'm not loud at all," Natalia mumbled feebly.
"You don't have to be heard to be powerful. Your presence is deafening, Ms. Bennett. I can't think straight around you. I can't breathe."
The feeling is mutual. The feeling is mutual. The feeling is mutual.
But the words don't come out because the sound of knocking against the door destroys the tension like a nuclear explosion.