AUTHOR'S NOTE ━ not me disappearing for literally forever, i aM SO SORRY. I HAVE NO EXCUSE EXCEPT I AM EVIL, PLEASE PUBLICALLY HECKLE ME BY THROWING ROTTEN FRUITS AT MY HEAD OKAY.
anyway hopefully the content of this chapter will make it up to you-
(also i haven't written in ages so this chapter isn't gonna be as good as the previous ones until i get back into the flow of things </3)
anddd one last thing, this chapter hasn't been proofread too well so please be kind!
make-out scene warning
(just in case they make
you uncomy)
━━━━━━(●'ω｀●)━
tw: child abuse mentions
CONNOR'S HAND FALLS TO the back of your head and tugs, gently, at your hair that has been left out loose. His skin is warm and lovely, and as leans further into you, pinning your back against the soft red couch, you feel your thirium pump quivering in your chest.
His tongue glides against your lower lip and, as you let out a quiet, surprised gasp, you feel his tongue gently slide toward your teeth, on the edges of your lips.
It's a strange, new sensation, one that has you wondering what it'd feel like to have his tongue elsewhere, trailing across other parts of your body.
That thought alone has you shuddering in a strange way as heat rises in your stomach, something you've never experienced before. Feeling it, Connor moves his hands down from your sides to your lower waist, which he grips with strong fingers tight enough to feel the whirring plates beneath your synthetic skin.
You pull away suddenly, your face feeling unusually warm. Can Androids blush? Because if they can, you definitely are. You hope blue's your color.
"Um," you stammer, "that's... All I wanted to do. Goodnight."
"Oh? That's all?" With something akin to amusement dancing in his darkened eyes, Connor tilts his head at you, studying you strongly. It makes you want to wriggle away and hide in the corner like a nervous worm, but at the same time, you never want him to stop staring at you like this... "You're sure you wouldn't like to do anything else?"
Connor stares at you heavily, his expression different from what you're used to. He seems... intense, almost. Or something else you can't quite recognize... Maybe you should get your program checked up on as soon as Cyberlife opens up again...
"No," you blurt, honestly. "I'd like to do a lot more. But you're a human, and it's late, so I thought you'd want to get some rest━"
As you're mid-speech, Connor lets out a soft, intimate laugh and leans toward you.
"But wait," you say, a little breathless, which is strange considering you don't need air. Maybe it's one of your features. "I'm a bit... dirty. You know, Android uprising and all that. And, as I said, it's late. You'll be tired!"
"Why? Planning on wearing me out?" Connor laughs quietly and gazes at you with half-lidded eyes that are much darker than usual, "Should've thought about that before you kissed me."
With that, he pulls you back against his mouth into the kiss. It's hot, heated, and definitely messy ━ but despite all that, it's perfect. It's so much better than how you imagined it, because, seriously, you've imagined it before, many times, very often.
He pulls away again, panting quietly, and you gently grasp his jaw, trailing across its soft edges with a thumb.
His eyes are so beautiful, especially in the dim lighting. They gleam softly with an emotion you don't fully understand. An emotion no amount of googling could tell you about. But that doesn't matter, because right now, your mind stays planted on thoughts of Connor's warm lips.
Maybe a little too much. Because... only one question races across your thoughts.
"Have you... been with many women before?" you ask quietly. Almost sheepishly.
He arches a single brow and studies you. "Oh. Oh. Is that ━ is that what you want? You want us to go... that far? Wait... Can we even...? I know you mentioned it earlier, but..."
Suddenly a little embarrassed, you nod in favor of answering verbally.
His dark, near-black eyes trace every inch of your face, taking everything in. A slow, gentle smile curls at his slightly reddened lips.
"Only two," he murmurs gently.
You raise a single brow, your investigative tendencies taking the stand. "When?"
For a moment, Connor simply stares at you in silent amusement. His lips curve and some of the intensity in his darkened eyes dim down, revealing that familiar soft look you're so used to seeing on him. "If you're wondering if I slept with anyone since I've known you, I haven't. You've... been all I can think about for months now. Ever since you... Well, ever since you walked into Hank and I's lives. I can't get you off my mind."
You stare at him, wide-eyed... How can he say such things, with such sincerity, without getting embarrassed?!
Suddenly, as if hearing your thoughts, Connor smiles shyly and licks his lips. "I mean, I haven't loved you since I first saw you or anything, that'd be weird! It's only been that way for the past month or two. Ever since you started showing me the real you. The you you are today."
...Love?!
Is he confessing his love to you right now?! How does someone like Connor love something like you? You almost can't believe you're not stuck in your mind garden with Amanda. Maybe you are... Maybe this is Android heaven...
Seeing your confused expression, Connor smiles. "Hey, don't think too hard about it or you'll overheat."
"I'm beyond over-heating," you mumble, still stunned, "I'm like an unstable microwave. The next step is an explosion."
Connor blinks once before snorting. "Y/N, you're so strange..." Though his words seem offensive, the way he eyes you so warmly, yet with some sort of need, is too distracting for you to be anywhere near bothered.
He leans forward, again, not for the first time tonight. And hopefully not for the last, either. One of his hands rests on the couch next to your lowered arm, steadying himself, and the other moves toward your sensitive throat, tilting your head slightly.
Your eyes flutter shut, anticipation taking over.
Except he doesn't take your mouth with his own.
Instead, he gently flutters his lips over the cool skin of your jaw and neck. The LED still on one side of your head whirs quietly, undoubtedly turning a bold yellow color as you process this strange feeling that curls in the pits of your stomach whenever Connor gently kisses down your neck.
He starts at the base of your jaw, just in front of your ear. His touch is feather-light and his lips are warm against your previously wind-cooled skin.
Then, at such a nearly agonizingly slow pace, he peppers gentle kisses down your neck, straying to the sensitive base of your throat. You gulp, feeling his touch unbearably close, and your system whirs inside your body as a fan works to keep you from overheating.
Suddenly, Connor stops. You feel his soft breaths against your throat but that's it, he only moves again to trace his nose against the dip of your collarbone.
"Are you sure you want this? You're not just doing this because you think it'd make me happy?" he murmurs, his voice much huskier than what you're used to.
You swallow, needlessly. "Connor, I want this. With you. If I didn't, I wouldn't have come here. I mean, I don't really... entirely understand why humans do these sorts of things. So I guess I want to find out with you. I've been thinking about this."
He chuckles against your neck, sending vibrations through your components. "Thinking about what, exactly?"
As he moves his head away from your shoulder and raises back to his full seated height, you find yourself staring into his inky black eyes. They're laced with that same emotion you don't recognize, but one that you're now nearly sure is lust.
"Let's stop talking," you blurt, and your eyes widen once you realize what you've said and how it could be interpreted. Like that whole less talking, more action sort of thing.
Slowly, Connor smiles a little shyly. It's a stark contrast to his previous expressions.
You almost have no idea where this is really going. Because the initial housewife design was scrapped, you don't exactly know how to lead the situation with Connor━and it's too late to do a quick google search because you'd probably have to watch a few videos, which would take away valuable time!
So that's left you to suffer in confusion and follow his lead.
Dammit! You should've googled this on your way here!
But before you can overthink any further, Connor takes your lips with his own and gently pushes you against the sofa so that you're below him. His hands grip your waist and slowly move beneath your grey hoodie━Connor's, technically. You feel his slightly calloused, warm fingertips as they brush against your sides, feather-light and gentle.
You gasp against his lips, surprised by how quickly your fan and heating systems are working.
Connor pulls away, his eyes heavy-lidded and his lips red. You feel strangely disappointed now that he's not kissing you anymore.
"Tell me if I do anything wrong," he says, earnestly, "I don't wanna... Make you uncomfortable, or, or hurt you. Okay?"
You'd usually say you can't feel pain━all Androids can't━but given the fact that the bullets that hit you from Jericho left a burning sensation, it's starting to make you wonder if you can actually feel things more than the typical Android.
Oh. Right! The bullets... You're pretty sure blue blood still stains the area just above your stomach. It'd be best if Connor doesn't see that.
"Don't worry," you say brightly. "You can't hurt me. I've been designed to handle pain!"
"...You sound a little too happy about that," smiles Connor, his expression soft before he leans in again and kisses you sweetly. His hands still hold your bare waist but trail down a little, hugging your hips, and his lips drift across your own gently, almost as though he's still afraid to hurt or damage you.
You smile against him, enjoying the moment with your eyelids fluttering shut and your thirium pump racing.
If this is Android Heaven, then you hope to never be rebooted and revived.
As you're deep in thoughts of happiness, Connor pulls away━for what you hope is the final time━and removes his hands from your body. Instead, he slips his hands beneath the hem of his hoodie and pulls it up, off of his top half, revealing his naked chest and stomach.
Earlier, you were surprised by the build of his muscular shoulders. But now, you're even more surprised to see how lean yet muscled he is, with an almost entirely flat, smooth, and defined stomach, and leanly-cut biceps that bulge out just enough for you to stare, shocked. This man even has a four-pack of abs! How can he possibly have such a brilliant build despite never working out?
No, the real question is... How did he hide this body beneath hoodies all this time?!
You're pretty sure he's the epitome of what most straight human women are looking for.
How'd you get so lucky?!
"Wow," you whisper, just quiet enough that his inferior human hearing can't pick up on your words. He smiles at you anyway, his cheeks slightly flushed and his dimples revealed. Your favorite expression on him.
As he opens his mouth to speak, you greedily wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him toward you, this time taking the lead yourself.
Speaking wastes time! All you want to do right now is, well━anything but that! It's pretty obvious what you want to do!
You roughly kiss him, your lips slightly parted against his own, and your tongue curiously sliding across his bottom lip, which feels plump and warm and perfect. If this is going the way you think it is, then... You've never been more grateful to be an anatomically correct model!
Connor quietly moans against your mouth, a soft, sweet sound that sends your head spinning and a wave of deliriously potent joy washing over you.
Your hands trail down his bare back, feeling every inch of his smooth, warm skin. He's so perfect, so wonderful, so━
You freeze as your fingertips brush across a long strip of raised skin, puffy and puckered, positioned toward his upper back. It feels like a scar. A bad one.
Slowly, you follow it with your fingerpads and take notice of the way it spreads across his shoulder blades, about the length of a ruler. What is this?
Connor gasps quietly and you move to pull away from him with your full body. Have you hurt him? That's the last thing you want to do. Yet he only lets you move back just enough so that you're no longer kissing before he stops you, his hands tightening around your waist, and his lips pressed against your bare neck.
"Hey, it's okay," he murmurs softly, "you didn't hurt me. I just didn't realize you'd... notice those."
You inhale sharply, worry flooding your thoughts so potent it almost stings.
"You got those from some sort of surgery. Right?" you ask. There's nothing on his government file except for a few broken bones and childhood pneumonia, but it's the only thought you can bear...
"No... I... It's not as bad as you think, it's just a few marks," Connor forces a chuckle against the sensitive skin of your sternum. It's not sweet or real sounding. It's sad, defeated, even. And you don't like it one bit. "I misbehaved a lot as a kid in my foster homes, y'know? Missed my brother, so I didn't listen like I should've."
"What?" You gulp. It makes you feel better. "Your carers... Hurt you? They did this? Connor, you didn't deserve that. Who are they? I'll... I'll..."
What will you do? Right now, you want to track them down and arrest them. But if it's from his time in the foster system, so very long ago, the law can't help you.
"It was years ago," Connor speaks, almost sounding exasperated, almost as if he thinks you're overreacting. "There's nothing anyone can do about it now. And trust me, I deserved it. Alright? It's okay. Seriously." But his voice is still so soft and warm that it hurts you to listen.
You stare blankly ahead of you, your brows bunched together and his soft breaths on your neck. "...Nobody could deserve this. Especially not a kid."
Slowly, you pull away from him fully, this time, using your superior strength. His hands still grip your waist like a lifeline, but you pull back far enough to allow yourself access to his vulnerable expression. Connor's eyes are strange looking━they're not soft or warm or darkened with emotion, they're blank, almost like he's become the Android in the relationship instead of you.
But his lips... The corners of them tremble lightly like he's biting back his emotions.
"Why did you never tell anyone?.. Why did I never notice... This isn't right..." Your words die in your throat and you shake your head softly, overwhelmed with unfamiliar turmoil. You feel like you're back in Cyberlife, fighting against Connor's fake. But somehow, this hurts even worse.
The mere thought of someone hitting Connor, probably with a ruler━just because he was missing his brother, no less━has your stomach rolling with disgust and rage. A potent mixture that's basically unbearable.
Connor, with his dark and icy eyes, glances away from you and looks over your shoulder. He exhales heavily through his nostrils. "Look, I... I don't like talking about it. And it's not because I don't trust you. I trust you so, so much, more than anyone━" his eyes flicker toward you, swarming with desperation and vulnerability, "but I can't do this. I don't want to think about it, okay? I like being happy. And being with you makes me happy. So I don't want to spoil that."
How do humans handle these complex emotions? You feel like you're drowning.
"Okay," you say, quieter than ever.
The atmosphere has been broken. Nothing in your programming has ever prepared you for a conversation like this, let alone with someone so important to you as Connor is.
You watch in silence as Connor stands from his place on the couch and turns around to grab his shirt which has been thrown on the ground. His muscles are rigid and tense and you can tell you've hit a sore spot.
But the large scars on his shoulder muscles and upper back are all you can focus on. They're an angry salmon-red color and seem like they were very deep. There are at least five main ones, but plenty of other much fainter, lighter ruler marks which have since turned an unnatural white color you can barely see on his fair complexion.
Connor bends down and swiftly slips his hoodie back on without uttering another word.
You don't know what to say... Can the internet even help you at this stage?
"I'm sorry," your voice comes out soft and hesitant as you anxiously fold your arms across your chest in a protective stance. Things were going so great only moments earlier, but now you're left with a hundred questions and not a single answer. This isn't Connor's fault and you don't blame him for not wanting to speak about it, in fact, you blame yourself.
Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned anything. Maybe it was best you just minded your business until he's ready to speak about it himself. Maybe━
"Hey."
You blink and clear your vision to see Connor standing above you, his head slightly tilted and hair ruffled messily. His expression is kind yet still vulnerable. "Hey, why are you apologizing? What did you do?"
When you merely stare at him in silence, trying to calculate a response, he smiles gently.
"Exactly. You did nothing, c'mon. I'm going to go to bed soon, alright? How about you get yourself cleaned up... You were right, Android revolutions are probably pretty messy. I'll give you some clean clothes." The tone he speaks with is gentle and sweet, soothing all of your anxieties.
You stand and nod at him, your eyes still cautiously scanning his expression for any betrayal of sadness or despair. But there's nothing. Just a raw emotion you can't quite identify yet.
"Alright, I'll see you in the morning," you speak a little awkwardly.
Connor's smile doesn't leave his face or even change at all, but his eyes twinkle. "If you get bored, feel free to stand at the end of my bed and watch me while I'm sleeping." He shoots you a playful wink. "I mean, that's probably more interesting than the news right now considering they're only talking about one thing."
You smile back at him. "Noted."
"Goodnight, Y/N, I'll put some clothes in the bathroom for you."
And just like that, he disappears down his dimly-lit hallway, his footsteps light but his posture and body rigid with discomfort.
Wait. He only has one bathroom... And one loofah. Does that mean you've been using his loofah this whole time? You blink, a rush of heat hugging your cheeks and staining them a stark electric blue color.
Maybe it's a bad time to be thinking about that considering you just found out about his trauma. Yep. Save those thoughts for later!
You'll definitely have to take him up on his offer though... You've been wondering for a while if he snores in his sleep. Wait. That's creepy. Definitely creepy... But you're doing it for science, so... You smile to yourself and nod. He did give you permission, after all.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: y/n after some of her people die in a literal revolution: "damn. well, anyway" and yknow what? same. me too bro.
also i love how so many of yall have been calling connor an innocent bean. HAH YOUVE BEEN FOOLED.
horny jail for us all
ok but also i needed to smack this angst here because. i just. it had to go in there ok.
aLSO btw i try not to put descriptions of y/n's body in here because I'm sure we all have very diff body-types (for example, I'm not skinny, I'm sorta chubby rn) so I'm really sorry if him touching y/n's stomach region makes you feel uncomfortable, i was just worried if he went any higher he'd be like "ayo wtf why is there dried blood on my hands" from where she was shot HEAWHEH