I was sat with Rachel on my bathroom floor crying, what was I going to do? What was Henry going to say? I was so emotional and confused, this was all so fast and Henry and I don't even know each other properly. In total from when we met to now it has only been a few months, what if Henry wants nothing to do with me and I'm alone with this baby?
"What am I going to do Rach? I'm not even divorced from Matthew and I'm pregnant with someone else's baby! We've only known each others a few months. Henry is going to hate me and he will leave me, he won't want this! What if he thinks I have done it on purpose. I promise I haven't." I started to sob harder and she pulled me in for a hug.
"Liv! We know you darling we know you didn't do this on purpose. Whatever happens and whatever you choose I will be here for you!! You need to take some time and think things through then talk to Henry." There was a sudden tap on the bathroom door.
"You okay guys?" It was Matthew, we had been up here for 20 minutes so he must have started to panic. I got up and headed for the door. I opened and my red puffy eyes already told Matthew the answer. "How about a cup of tea eh Liv?" I forced a smile and nodded.
We headed down into the kitchen and Matthew placed a steaming cup of tea in front of me, I reached for it and placed it into my hands enjoying the heat as I had felt so numb.
"You need to go talk to him Liv, you can't process all this on your own. When you got pregnant before we had each other and as much as I want to help you this time it's not my place it's his." I looked at Matthew and I just felt so much appreciation for him.
"I have a week until I'm with him, this really is something I need to do face to face. I know I don't want to get rid of it, I already have my beautiful boys and this baby will be just like them and I could never think of getting rid of a baby no matter how hard it would be. I will love it unconditionally. If Henry doesn't want to be a part of it that's fine, I would never force him." I sighed and took a sip of my tea.
"Don't think the worst Liv, you don't know how he is going to react! He's a nice guy we know that and he might surprise you. Are you sure you want to wait the week to tell him? I know it's not something you want to do over the phone but it is his baby too, he should know." I looked at Rach and she was right he should know.
Before I could say anything Matthew butted in. "Right Liv you need to pack your suitcase and head to the airport. You should do it in person, you're off next week anyway. I can have the boys and I can fly them out next week, that is if you don't mind. I haven't had a holiday, always wanted to go California, I can come out for a week spend it with the kids and then give them to you for your final week." I was shocked, my estranged husband is willing to help me through all this, such a wonderful man.
"I can't put that on you Matthew." I started to tear up.
"Hey I'm offering. Right I'm going to head home." He got up kissed me on the forehead and went to the bottom of the stairs.
"Boys you ready to go. I've got your bags in the car, come say bye to Mum." I got up and gave Matthew a hug, then I could hear the boys rush down the stairs. I am not telling them yet until I have spoken to Henry. I told them I would meet them in America and gave them a big hug and kiss.
Rachel and I headed up to my room and started to pack my case, she had found me a flight leaving at 8am, luckily there was a seat left. Rachel said she would drive me to the airport we had to leave at 3am so she called Jack to fill him in and said she would stay at mine then drive me to the airport in my car. I am so grateful for the people I have around me, I don't know how I got so lucky.
I had a shower and put on some leggings and a baggy jumper then Rachel and I jumped into bed and put on our favourite film Hocus Pocus.
"I really appreciate all this Rach, I don't know what I would do without you!" We were scoffing Maltesers and drinking tea.
"Girl I am always here for you. I can't believe your pregnant! I really hope it all works out for you. Don't be nervous about telling Henry. what will be will be and I will be here if you need me okay?"
I was a bag of nerves the whole journey to the airport, I messaged Jim to say I was coming out earlier then planned and wanted to surprise Henry so he said he would pick me up and take me to Henry's house. I tired to sleep on the plane but found it so difficult so I ended up re-watching the US Office for the 1000th time, having something nice and warm hearted to watch settled me slightly. I drifted off to sleep about 9 hours into the flight managing to get about an hours sleep before waking with my stomach rumbling.
I landed in Malibu at 10:30pm and took me about an hour to get through and collect my luggage, I was so tired and felt sick from not eating much due to nerves. I headed out into the crisp air and took in a deep breath, I looked in front of me and saw a massive black SUV door open and out stepped Jim, he headed over to me with a friendly smile.
"Liv it's so good to see you. He will be so surprised." He took my suitcase and we headed towards the car. "So good to see you Jim, how is he doing? I can't wait to see him." I climbed into the back of the huge car and settled into the comfy seats. "He's been busy with filming, didn't get back till later tonight but I left him just going over things for tomorrow. He has been quiet without you round that's for sure. I know he tried calling you earlier and your phone was off he got a bit worried, he honestly will be happy to see you. Don't tell him I told you this but I haven't seem him this happy in a long time." Tears stared to well in my eyes, we were in such a good place what if this baby will ruin everything. What if tonight is the last time I see Henry, what if he wants nothing to do with me after this. My heart would break!
Henry's home was about an hour from the airport and Jim is such a nice guy to talk to, we chatted all the way and it did make me feel less nervous. We had stopped at a set of traffic lights and was chatting about Jim's family when the lights went green, as we started to drive again a sudden bang knocked us sideward and I felt the door bang into the side of me and glass shatter around me as I put my hands up to my face feeling the glass go into my hands. We continued to move sideward and then felt a bang to the right of me as we had hit something else and brought us to a stop, my head was pounding and my ears ringing. I could faintly hear Jim call my name before I passed out.
I remember getting to the hospital and I had a terrible headache and could see blood on my clothes and hands. They put me in a private room and put me up to machines to check my over. It's all very faint as I was in and out of sleep, I spoke to a doctor and advised her that I was pregnant so she said they would get an ultrasounds done to make sure all was okay.
I was laying in the bed on my phone messaging Rachel and Matthew to let them know what had happened and that I was okay, just needed to be kept in over night for concussion as I hit my head that's where the blood was from and my face and hands had cuts on them from the glass. Also to let them know I requested an ultrasound to check on the baby, I was about to ring Henry when I heard a mans panicky voice in the hallway and knew straight away it was him. He came through the door breathing heavily and worry in his eyes.
"Oh my god Liv!!" He rushed over to the bed and pulled me into his arms.
"Surprise!!!" I softly spoke and squeezed him tight not caring about the pain, he moved back to sit on the bed placing his hands on my face.
"I got the call about Jim and when I got here he said you were her and I ran straight to you! Are you okay? Please tell me you're alright? Jim is in such a state worried about you!! I started to worry no one had updated me on Jim.
"Henry is Jim okay?" I started to tear up and Henry gently rubbed my cheek.
"He's fine, a car ran a red light and it hit your side, he's more worried about you. He said you passed out ad they whisked you ahead of him." He lent forward and gave me a small kiss.
"I'm glad he's okay, we were going to surprise you! I missed you so much Henry." The tears started to come in heavy now and he pulled me back into his arms.
" Don't cry my love. my heart sunk when I found out you were in the car." There was a knock on the door and as Henry moved back I could see the Doctor coming in with an ultrasound machine.
"Miss Clarke is now a bad time?" I cleared my throat and looked at Henry.
"Is she okay? What's the machine for is something wrong?" I looked at the doctor, I didn't want her to mention the baby so I quickly jumped in.
"Henry it's just procedure to check I'm okay. You go check on Jim tell him I'm okay and come back after okay?" He looked at the doctor and back at me.
"Okay Love. Ill be back in 10. I love you." He leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead.
"I love you too Henry"
He headed out of the room and closed the door.
"Sorry I'm ready, I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet." I shuffled in the bed as the doctor wheeled the machine over.
"Not a problem, let's have a look make sure all is okay. I got your blood tests and all looks fine so lets just check the baby is okay."
I lifted my gown and the doctor put a warm gel onto my stomach and started to move the machine attachment round. She did this for a few minutes in silence and I started to panic, I didn't want a baby but now knowing it was there and the thought of losing it was making me feel sad.
The doctor turned the screen to me and pointed to the screen.
"There is your little one Miss Clarke, and here is the heartbeat going strong. I would put you about 3 weeks. Congratulations. I would book yourself in with your OBGYN and go from there but for me all looks good." I started to cry happy tears and thanked the doctor.
"I am going to keep you in tonight for the knock on your head but you will be able to go home tomorrow, I will leave you to tell Daddy the happy news." I wiped away my tears as the doctor walked out and I heard Henry ask if all was okay then he turned the corner and came back into the room to sit on the side of the bed.
"Liv you're crying what's wrong. What did the doctor say." He took both my hands in his.
I cleared my throat and knew I had to tell him.
"It's all fine......... the doctor jus told me that our baby is fine!" My heart started to race and I could see Henry's eyes widen. What was he going to say. I really don't want to lose him.
He cleared his throat and dropped my hands making my panic levels rise.
"Did you say our baby? We.....were having a baby?" I could see tears form in his eyes as he moved forward and kissed me with tears falling down our cheeks then he pulled me in for a hug.
"Henry are you mad at me. I only found out yesterday that's why I came out, it needed to be said face to face! If you don't want to be in it's life or mine anymore I completely understand." He moved backwards and his eyes were red.
"Liv I love you! this is the most amazing news. I know we haven't known each other for long but this is honestly the most amazing news! I love you and were having a baby!" I started to cry as he grabbed my hands kissing them both and relief fell over me and I could finally breathe again.
"Oh Henry I thought you would hate me or think I planned this or something, thought I would lose you!"
"You will never lose me Liv. I'm so happy."
He placed his hand on my stomach and said
"We are going to be a family and this little one is going to be so loved." Then he kissed me and laid next to me on the bed.
He stayed with me that night and we both fell asleep with his hand on my stomach.