~~Part 1: New Friend~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm sorry, what?"
You blinked owlishly as his words sank in, his last sentence lingering the air; and filling you with a sense of dread. Also sitting in the back of your mind was the fact that you were alone in an abandoned funhouse basement with him, and had little idea of how to get back out. You couldn't exactly examine the room for another exit without your eyes darting about like crazy, which would instantly let him know you were panicked. Even if you did escape, you didn't know how to get back to the hotel.
Great. I've been hanging out with a murderer. Should have seen that coming.
"I was a serial killer." He reiterated. "Can't really sugar-coat it, my dear."
"I shouldn't be surprised, but, here we are." You chuckled nervously.
"I had a type, if it of any reassurance to you." He chuckled darkly. "I didn't go after just anybody. Although... You do fit a close description."
"Friendly reminder that Charlie would not be happy if you hurt lil' ole' me." You stated.
"How could I forget?" He said flatly, you noted the subtle eye-roll he threw your way before his smile widened at you and he continued to speak. "Rest assured it's quite out of character for me to harm a lady in such a manner, however."
"Could have fooled me, I must have made quite the first impression then." You muttered.
"I'm a lenient fellow who's willing to make exceptions on a rare occasion." He chuckled. "Fear not darling, I say this not to intimidate you."
Fucking liar. You thought bitterly.
"You asked what I'm guilty of, and well, there you go." He grinned. "No sense in hiding it."
"Is the cannibalism a part of that too?" You wondered.
"Actually, I picked that up a few years after the murders began." He explained.
"How the hell do you 'pick up' a dietary habit like that?" You asked, wincing a little as you thought back to how you were almost a meal for this guy.
"Do I detect a hint of judgement in your line of questioning, dear?" He asked, slightly offended by your put-off attitude.
"Lil' bit, yeah." You blurted out. "When did it dawn on you, that you're just going about your day, whatever that consists of for you... You start feeling a bit hungry. And you think to yourself, 'what the hell, I'll just eat a person!'?"
"You really want a full exposition or is this a rhetorical question?"
"How can that even taste good?" You asked.
"Well if properly prepared it has a tendency to taste close to veal." He said nonchalantly. "Otherwise I admit it is an acquired taste, one I've grown to appreciate."
"Oh my go-"
"Aht aht, we don't use that word down here."
You stood there slightly wide eyed, looking at the floor as you let this information sink in. Then rubbed your temples in some feeble attempt to calm yourself as you paced around a small area of the room. Alastor watched in amusement as the gears in your head turned, somewhat delighted that you were disgruntled a bit at his misdeeds. However discontent, not at all caring for the fact that it only put you on guard once again. And after you were just starting to get along a little, too.
He did not take kindly to the fact that you were casting such harsh judgement on him. Being a sinner yourself, you didn't exactly have any right to act as if you're on a higher pedestal than him. And not only that, you had no idea what he had gone through. As far as he was concerned, you had no clue what he had to do to survive. How he had to scrape and claw his way to be from where he was to where he is now.
"I advise that you keep your judgement to yourself, Y/n. And get off of your high horse." He said lowly, taking a step towards you.
Then another.
And another.
Each step he took was met with one of your own, as you walked slowly away until he had backed you into a corner.
"How is that fair?" You scoffed, noting the wall behind you. Feeling the cold cement on your fingertips. You began to feel your heart pounding within your chest. Whether it was from fear or agitation, however, you weren't sure. Likely both. "You look down on anybody that crosses your path."
"Well, we can't all be perfect." He chuckled smugly.
"You pretentious fu-"
Your insult was interrupted by the stag grabbing your chin in his gloved hand, tilting your head up to look at him. His eyes narrowed as he looked at you -no, looked through you, his cheshire smile growing with delight as he watched the panic flicker in your eyes, your pupils shrinking; revealing more of the white in your irises. Your ears drooping slightly against your will. Tuning into the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, growing even faster as it thumped in your chest. The symphony of your heartstrings picking up tempo was enough to make him hungry.
But alas, he found you more useful with a pulse rather than as a meal.
"You know what I desire most?" He mused, leaning in close to you.
"Please say a breath mint, cause you need one..."
"Very funny." He huffed, his patience wearing thin due to your relentless snarkiness. "I desire... entertainment."
"Yeah well your idea of entertainment falls very close to sadism at times." You said, looking down at his hand that held your face firmly in place before looking back up at him.
"You're not wrong," he hummed, stroking your jaw with his thumb before talking another small step toward you. You couldn't help but feel a little intimidated by the fact that he was so close to you. You could feel the heat radiating off of him. "But are you really that much better?"
"Are you high?" You scoffed. "Theft and murder aren't even remotely the same thing."
"We both take." He answered quickly. "Money, a life, both valuable. Both stolen... Without regard of how the person may feel about, we do it for our own selfish reason. Besides, I don't just mean our sins, my dear. Your pride, your taste for the finer things -don't think I didn't notice the designer dress you have on. I'd like to bet my money helped pay for that... You like making fun, and displaying just how better you think you are... Y/n, sweetheart, you and I are not so different."
"I am not like you." You spat. Refusing to believe a single word of it. He's manipulating you. He's trying to intimidate you. "You're a monster.... A vessel of horror... You aren't fooling anybody..."
"The way I see it, you and I could have a lot of fun together." He chuckled, his sinister grin growing wider. His crimson and ruby eyes glowing, almost flickering as if hellfire blazed within them.
"Considering we're colleagues at the hotel, our relationship can go one of two ways." He said lowly. You winced and tried to turn away as he leaned in closer but his grip stayed firm, forcing you to keep looking ahead at him.
"I can either be your closest ally, perhaps even a friend one day, or; I can make your worst nightmares seem like mere child's play. That entirely depends on whether or not you can be nice."
You scolded yourself internally as a barely audible whimper of fear escaped past your lips as the buck leaned in, whispering in your ear. His voice sending a rush of chills down your spine as he spoke, the filter of radio audio within his voice now sounding gritty as he rasped.
"I believe you're smart enough to make the right decision."
~~Part 2: Storms are Louder at Night~~
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Clouds and smog rolled across the sky with incredible speed, shrouding what felt like the entire pride ring in a downpour. The wind blew, groaning and wailing outside your balcony window as droplets of rain tapped onto the glass as if ferociously knocking. Thunder roared across the skies, demanding attention from all who were around to hear it as it rumbled and rolled. Lightning cracked and lit up the sky and for a split second at a time your room was alive with light and color, only to fall back to that blanket of darkness it was before.
You lay awake in bed, physically exhausted but unable to sleep. Tonight was your first real night alone. You didn't count your little snooze in Angels room on your first night seeing as your reality hadn't fully sank in at that point. But tonight Angel Dust went back to sleeping in his room.
Of course he asked if you'd be alright and reassured you that if you needed anything you could always just knock on his door. Which although your trust for him was still limited, you did appreciate his gesture. So far -almost- everyone seemed to treat you very kindly. Husk certainly had a growing soft spot for you, and Niffty would marvel and awe as if you were a spectacle; which was a little awkward but sort of cute. Charlie and Vaggie were still friendly enough. Really your only issue was Alastor, which is part of what was reeling in your mind.
What choice did you have but to play nice? It was the path of least resistance, seeing as how he could easily make your job a living hell -pun intended. And if he ran you out of here, well, you'd be screwed... No royal protection to shield you from the grasp of the radio demon. Although even now it still didn't feel much different. Who knows, maybe it was better this way...
Rain sounded so much different against the glass window panes as opposed to the top of a camper or tent. The constant tapping on the glass was a reminder that you were so far from home.
No body else was here. No withdrawal or intoxication to numb your state of being.
No distractions.
Nothing to take away from the new scenery of your current room with ample space, or how much you missed familiar smells; like that of your former bedsheets, or the grass or fresh air from leaving a window open.
Do they miss me? You wondered, staring up at the ceiling. It had been a few days now, and as you recalled your final moments you pieced together the string of events. If I had just gone to bed... If I hadn't gone to that gas station... If I had just kept walking and didn't stop... Who found my body first? You winced.
You recounted all the times someone was hurt, sick, grieving or panicking. And yet they carry on and perform with a smile on their face. You wondered how things went the day they woke up and saw you laying on road. What a horrific site to imagine...
Visions haunted you against your will, glimpses of a broken carcass on tarvia. Blood, amber colored whiskey, and broken glass littering the road. You couldn't stop them, they seemed so vivid. You blinked and shook your head 'no' as if the simple act could erase the relentless images in your head. They wouldn't stop. You could practically smell the rot. Hear the flies buzzing around the cadaver. Make it stop...
You wondered how that night went. If your loved ones stifled their tears long enough to perform. Or if they cared at all, and were just angry that now they lost a star performer...
Did the show still go on, mom and dad...?
That last little thought was all it took to start the water works, and before you could stop it you felt warm salty tears staining your cheeks. You took a shakey breath in and rolled onto your side, hugging a pillow and buried your face into it. Loud sobs muffled by the stuffing and the fabric as you let out your anger and self-pity, masked by the roaring thunder outside.
Numb the pain.
That little thought poked and prodded at you with incessant annoyance. Nagging you.
Just one bottle from the bar downstairs.
No. You wouldn't fall back into a bad habit. You just stopped having withdrawals. And aside from the one drink you had with Alastor that evening you were doing fine, you weren't going to blow it now and lose your self control. Moderation is key. Don't lose yourself...
A drop will make the visions stop.
"Fuck this, I'm going to Angel's room..." you muttered.
Grabbing a pillow and blanket for yourself, you got out of bed and grabbed your room key before bolting out of your room and making your way down to Angel. Begrudgingly trying to stop the abundance of tears from flowing before you made it there, already feeling somewhat pathetic for doing this. You were too prideful to admit you needed something from someone, but, you felt desperate.
Even if it was just being next to another person, it was so much better than being alone right now.
You sniffled one last time as you reached his room, reading the number on the door as you took a deep breath. Raising your fist, and after a moment of hesitation, gently knocked. A bit of shuffling was heard on the other side, you smiled faintly that he was awakening. He opened the door, drowsy as all fuck, and blinked a few times while his eyes adjusted to the light in the hotel hallway.
"Toots?" He murmured, barely registering that it was you at his door as he drearily rubbed his tired eyes.
"Surprise sleepover, make room for me."
You gently pushed past him and waltzed right into his room, hardly giving him a second to realize what you said as he turned around in confusion to look at you. But never the less shut the door and didn't tell you to leave. His room now had a pink hue to it, a nice little touch from some LED's that were lit beneath the framing of his bed. He observed you as you already begun setting up a spot to sleep on the floor beside his bed, and walked over to you.
"Babe, you alright?" He asked with a yawn. "Were you crying?"
His question halted you as you let go of the blanket and looked up at him. Your mouth opened to answer him but no words came out. You didn't want to lie to him, but you felt like if you said any word at all it would have made you start sobbing all over again.
"Doll you have tear stains on your face... what's going on? Did everything go alright with smiles tonight?" He pried. "Did that son of a bitch hurt you?"
"N-no, I just..." you started to say, a shakey breath interrupted your words as you felt more tears fall from your eyes without your consent or control. There was no point in hiding your vulnerability now. It was all on display. You looked down at the floor and began to quietly cry again.
"Hey, hey, shh it's okay." He said, walking over and giving you a hug.
"You're in a safe place here." He said. "Come on, talk to me. What's on your mind?"
~~Part 3: The Broken Thief~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"First off, you're not sleeping on the damn floor. Grab your shit and move it to the bed, there's plenty of room."
"You sure?"
"Yes I'm sure." He huffed, pulling away from the hug and picking up your blanket for you. He set it down on the side of the bed before his sheets to the other side. "Tonight, you and I are platonic cuddle buddies. Come on, hop on the bed."
You sniffled, wiping the tears from off of your face and nodded. You bent over to grab your pillow and set it down, sitting on the edge of the bed. A small series of 'oinks' from underneath Angels sheets had alerted and confused you, feeling your ear flick in the direction of the noise as you looked down.
"Angel?" You asked.
"What's up?"
"Did you know there's a pig in your bed?"
"His name's Fat Nuggets!" He said with a smile, lifting up the corner of the blanket to reveal a pink little bundle of cuteness. His wide eyes stared up at you on curiosity as he let out a small snort. "Fat Nuggets, say hi to Y/n."
"Awhhh! I love him." You chuckled softly, some of your sadness alleviated as he trotted up to you and nestled into your lap. To which you, of course, immediately started petting him and giving him little head scratches. "Where was he the first night I was here?"
"Probably hiding somewhere." Angel shrugged. You watched as the arachnid bent down by the side of his bed and opened a drawer in his nightstand. You immediately felt your face turn 13 shades of red when you saw an assortment of sex toys, and quickly averted your gaze. Staring wide-eyed at the wall, still holding Fat Nuggets in your lap, as you tried to act like you didn't see his collection. Something told you he didn't really care if you saw, but still. You blinked a couple of times and looked back over when you saw him pull out a small, wooden box and set it on top of the nightstand and closed the drawer.
"You smoke, toots?" He asked, opening the box and pulling out a bag of weed and some rolling papers.
"Haven't in a while." You said.
"Well," he sighed, still obviously tired from being woken up; but nevertheless proceeded to take a couple nugs of weed and put them into a grinder. "You're welcome to join me, on the condition that you-"
"Don't tell Charlie, or Vaggie, I know. You're good." You smiled faintly up at him. "Thank you Angel."
"Don't thank me, just doing what friends do."
Friends?
Angel had also turned up the brightness on the LEDs so he could see what he was doing a bit better, and began rolling a joint for the two of you while you had gotten yourself situated on his bed. Fat Nuggets still cozying up to you; you didn't have the heart to move him from your lap. If this little piggy wanted to spend the whole night curled up to you, who were you to tell him no?
"I don't know about you, but this shit helps me sleep better. I don't know why Vaggie and Charlie banned weed but kept the booze... Alright," he sighed, taking a few puffs as he lit the joint and held it betwixt his fingers. Smoke pooling out of his mouth and nose as he exhaled and handed it to you. "So what's going on, babe?"
"You'll probably think it's stupid..." you said quietly, taking the joint from the spider and bringing it to your lips. Inhaling the earthy smoke as you shyly looked away. Taking a small hit at first, not sure how potent the shit was that Angel was used to smoking and not wanting to green-out.
"I've heard a lot of dumb shit." He smirked. "Try me."
"I started feeling homesick, and I started thinking about shit." You answered plainly, staring off once again for a second.
"You miss your old way of living." He reiterated.
"I do..."
"That's normal for some folk. I mean, you just got here, after all. That's still a fresh wound."
"I don't know if I'm being missed, though." You admitted solemnly, taking another drag and handing the joint back to Angel. The spider furrowed his brows, feeling a twinge of sympathy.
"Why do you say that?" He wondered.
"I'm starting to wonder if they only miss me as a part of the act."
"Toots," he sighed, flicking excess ash off into an ashtray before handing it back to you. The effects starting to creep in, a subtle warm buzz that hugged each cell of your body. You smiled softly, as your dreamlike high got a little more intense you noticed that the visions of your own carcass stopped plaguing your mind. Soon you couldn't even picture what you saw in your mind before. Thank fuck...
You looked back up at him, embarrassed from your confession but curious to see what he had to say. Maybe leave the visions out, for now...
"The way you talk about your life makes me think your family and the people you worked with were pretty much your everything. Odds are one of them is bound to miss you. What about your folks, were they around?"
"Yeah, they were." You nodded.
"You don't think they miss you?"
"I just wonder... They... Never really showed much praise or acceptance unless it was related to my craft. But they were never awful to me, either. I don't know... I just know that another show had to happen the day they found me, and I wonder if they felt more... inconvenienced, rather than mourning..." you explained. Feeling another tear fall from your eye. "Dammit, I wish I could stop fucking crying. I hate this."
"Come here." He insisted, patting on a spot on the bed closer to him. You awkwardly shifted closer, trying not to disturb Fat Nuggets who had begun to doze off. Angel moved closer and wrapped an arm around you, resting his hand on your shoulder in a halfway hug. "It's okay. You can cry."
"I know I had friends that gave a shit, but fuck, man..." you sniveled quietly. "I really think they're more annoyed than grieving..."
"If they didn't miss ya, fuck em." He said quietly. "You did your job and did it well from what I can tell. You seem decent as a person, hopefully you don't prove me wrong. You have nothing to prove to them. If they didn't value you as family, then they didn't deserve you as a star."
"I kinda pissed them off a lot..."
"Isn't that what kids do?" He laughed gently.
"I mean royally pissed them off." You chuckled gently, wiping more tears from your face. "I wasn't horrible but I was a trouble maker."
"You wander off a lot?" He snickered.
"Wandered off, pulled pranks, talked back..." you admitted. "Definitely shouldn't have been drinking and smoking like I was. Talked to people I shouldn't have-"
"You lived on the road and your folks never warned you about stranger danger?" He snickered.
"Not like that," you smiled softly, a gentle, almost inaudible laugh accompanying it. "My parents didn't like when I mingled with some of the workers. There was a social hierarchy in our circus that I never really understood -or agreed with."
"That's kinda fucked." He agreed.
"It was." You nodded, taking the joint back from Angel; this time hitting it a little deeper. Trying to sink further into the comfortable buzz it provided you as your elevated mood began to cool down little by little. "It was a big reason why some of the people would leave. Well, other than the hard labor and never staying in one place. My folks always said 'once a townie always a townie, that's why they leave.' "
"Townie?"
"People who didn't join the circus right out of the womb, basically. Or anyone who wasn't in it in general." You said. "But that's why they didn't want me associating with them. They assumed everyone was replaceable and if I got too attached to someone and they left, it would effect my mood; and there in effect my acts in the process."
"That's still so fucked." He said, taking the joint back and flicking the ash off into an ashtray that resembled that of a pink love-heart. "Did you always worry what they thought?"
You shrugged. "I sort of just thought they were hard on me for my own good, because they wanted me to stay because they'd miss their daughter if I was gone." You sighed, blinking slowly as you looked over at the wall with an empty gaze. Feeling the high from the weed starting to make your eyelids feel a little heavy. "Now I'm not sure. Maybe I'm over thinking it, maybe I'm not. Even Alastor was making comments earlier about how-"
"What did he say?" Angel asked, cutting you off. Already annoyed at the idea that the deer was filling your head with these thoughts.
"I told him about how a girl I used to work alongside with got very hurt during an act, and they wound up rushing me out onstage to keep the show going without telling me what happened to her." You explained. "And, he asked if they kept the news from me out of consideration for my feelings, or, for the sake of me not ruining my act by being too emotional."
"What a dick," he spat, "he can step on a lego barefoot. Don't let him get in your head, toots."
"It's not that far fetched, though." You said, sitting up and turning slightly to face him as he removed his arm from around your back. "They used to do that shit all the time. They'd always hide stuff if it was pertaining to whomever was set to perform as a bigger act, always told us not to mingle unless it was with someone who planned on staying because 'no one wants to see a broken hearted mess in the ring when things inevitably go wrong.'"
"Two things." He sighed, passing the joint back and reaching over to give Fat Nuggets little gentle scratches on his tiny head. The adorable demon pig -who was apparently dozing off, snorting softly as he barely awoke and acknowledged the arachnid. "One, even if there is truth to it, he had no right to say that to you, because I know damn well he wasn't mentioning it from a place of concern for you. Two, if there is truth to it... And I hope for your sake there ain't any, then my point stands. If they didn't love and respect you as their own flesh and blood, then they didn't deserve ya at all. You don't wanna seek approval from people who will never think you're enough anyway, okay?"
"You seem to care a lot about the subject." You noted. "For someone who barely knows me."
"Yeah, but I think I already know more than most people do about you." He stated. "And I care because I get it. Sure I got family scattered around here, not many I'd like to associate with. Oppressive as all fuck -or maybe it was just the era I lived in, but all thats over now! I'm free to be as liberated as I want. I dress hot as shit, I do what I want, and I'm wanted by so many dudes I can't even count 'em. You can do that too, if you want. Yeah, this place sure as shit ain't paradise. But, you can do what you want here. They ain't here to stop ya."
You nodded, taking his words into consideration. You wanted to take comfort in your lack of responsibility, you really did, but you felt daunted by the amount of leniency you had now.
"What if I don't know what I want to do?" You asked.
"Then rest comfortably knowing you have literally the rest of time to do so." He chuckled gently. "You're still figuring shit out. Say, you discover any powers yet?"
"Powers?"