Maria stretched out her legs on the soft bed and let her head sink into the pillow. She longed to bottle up this contentment and have it wash over her during awkwardness with Tom and Mitch. Prae sat in the striped armchair near the second bed, busy on her phone. Earlier, Maria had sent Tom an open invite for drinks, but he never responded, which was concerning. She'd thought they'd handled their earlier conversation well, but maybe she upset him and he needed space.
Emma returned through the terrace doors with a shopping bag of clinking bottles. With a grin, she extracted a large bottle of rum and plastic shot glasses. She lined up three on the circular table beside Prae and unscrewed the bottle cap.
Prae raised an eyebrow as Emma filled each cup. "I don't know if that's a good idea after last weekend."
Emma walked over to hand Maria a shot then returned to Prae at the table. "You've seemed stressed all week."
"You can blame Tom for that. He saddled her with the trip planning," Maria said.
"It was fun, and he's so..." Prae gazed at the large painting of a bridge like the one over the Khwae Noi river in town, which hung over the bed.
"Meticulous, borderline obsessive," Emma teased as she passed Prae a shot.
"Passionate and determined. If I can help him and Maria, I'm thrilled." Prae's smile seemed to morph from natural to strained as did her tone.
If Tom was going to chill alone all night, perhaps the alcohol wasn't the worst idea. It could help Maria figure out what the heck was going on between Prae, Mitch, and Tom. Since the pool party, she felt like a stranger in her own relationship, tiptoeing like she'd wake a grumpy uncle.
"And maybe this weekend, we can help you out too, Prae," Maria said.
The Thai woman's cheeks reddened, and she looked at her liquor. "I don't think that's a good idea."
Emma sat beside Prae in the opposing chair. "Not every man is Sakda. You're far too awesome to live vicariously by helping other people's relationships succeed. Which brings us to our first toast, to Prae and finding her a little romance this weekend."
Prae shook her head. "This weekend is about Tom and Maria."
"Why not both?" Maria proposed. "Happiness isn't a limited resource. Yours adds to ours, Prae." She raised her glass. "To all of us finding what we want most."
"Chok dee," Emma called out.
They echoed it, and all downed the strong shots. Maria grimaced and wiped the corner of her mouth while Prae shook her head.
Emma took back the cups and poured another round of shots. "I have to ask, what's going on with Tom? Romantic getaways and separate rooms make little sense to me. Does he snore and kick like a bull in his sleep, or are you fighting?"
Maria's skin prickled. She'd always kept her and Adrian's issues a secret, but Tom wouldn't lash out at her for confiding in friends. He asked Prae for advice about the trip so he was comfortable letting other people into their space. "We're fine. We're not there yet."
"As in, you're not sleeping together?" Emma handed Maria a shot.
Maria's cheeks grew warm. "No, we're not." She took her shot, hoping soothing heat would spread across her chest, but it only burned. "Is that a bad sign?" She and her ex hadn't waited, and that had led to distance from her family and faith, as well as making her vulnerable to his abuse.
"People have their reasons for waiting," Prae said.
Like sensing that her attraction was based on attempting to forget about a certain blond who plagued her thoughts? Perhaps Tom was protecting himself, and Maria couldn't blame him. He had trouble trusting after his last relationship, so it made sense to take their time.
Prae's phone buzzed, and after looking at it, she grabbed her purse. "I'll be right back."
Maria's stomach clenched. Was that Tom or Mitch? What kind of date did it make her that she hoped it was Tom? Either a man she couldn't stop thinking about was having a secret relationship or the guy she was dating had blown off her text and turned to Prae instead. There was no winning, only devastation or guilt.
Once Prae had taken off to the terrace, Emma sat beside Maria on the bed. "Are you sure you and Tom are alright? You seem pretty down."
Maria set her shot glass to the side and collapsed into the cozy comforter. "I don't know what to do anymore, Em."
Emma lay beside her, her warmth contrasting with the artificially cooled air. "If Tom needs more time, that says more about him than you. Don't let it trip you up."
"He hasn't answered my text. Do think that's where Prae went?"
"It might be someone else."
"Like Mitch?"
"Or a family call? She said she'd be right back."
Maria stared at the ceiling. Emma was trying to spare her the pain. With all the uneasiness today, it had to be one of the guys. Either Tom seeking advice or Mitch looking for... Maria's stomach twisted into a knot. Tom's words that Prae had insisted Mitch come rested in Maria's mind. If Prae did that aware it would make Tom uncomfortable, it meant something.
"He paid for her trip here," Maria muttered.
"Tom?"
"Mitch." It wasn't like his and Maria's adventure to Ayutthaya, which had cost a handful of dollars. This cost at least a hundred, which wasn't a simple favour for a friend. Maria pictured Mitch tugging Prae into his room, running his hand through her hair and pulling her into a passionate kiss.
Emma's lips pressed into a thin line. "You and Mitch have history, I get that, but don't let him get in your head. He had his shot with you, and he shouldn't keep flirting with you and messing with you when you've chosen Tom."
Had she chosen Tom, or had she chosen a path away from being alone and miserable? The more Mitch let her into his life, the more she wanted to explore whatever they could be together.
"What if I made the wrong choice?"
Emma turned onto her side to face Maria. "What are you saying?"
"Earlier tonight, I was feeling guilty and worried about Tom, but now this Mitch and Prae thing is all I can think about and I'm lost."
"Prae would never do that to you."
Before Mitch, Maria would have agreed, but she knew how easy it was to get taken in by his flirty smiles and ocean eyes, his smooth words and tempting promises. She was dating Tom, and she'd spent the night with Mitch. If anyone recognized how alluring he could be, it was her. But he hadn't been trying to lure her. Quite the opposite. It was he who needed a friend, and she who added the romantic element and had cast any worries about Tom aside. She who had returned to Tom, held and kissed him all week as if she hadn't spent the night in another man's bed.
An arctic chill travelled through her body, settling in her heart.
She had become Adrian.
Maria's words spilled like vomit. "I did something shitty, Em."
"What happened?"
"I slept with Mitch."
Emma's blue eyes widened, and she covered her mouth. "Holy fuck. Recently?"
"Last weekend." When Emma's eyes were wide as pie plates, Maria realized she'd implied too much. "To be clear, it was just sleeping with him in his bed, nothing more."
"You could have led with that. How did that even happen? He knocks on your door and asks for company? That man is something else."
"We were supposed to be working on the party decorations. He was telling me about his past and it broke him. Then he asked me to stay and promised he wouldn't jeopardize what I had with Tom."
"Has he met Tom? I'm assuming he doesn't know."
Maria shook her head.
"Technically, you did nothing wrong. Have you talked about being exclusive?"
"No, but it's Tom."
Emma played with her silver necklace. "He doesn't have to know."
Maria didn't wish to start a relationship with deceit and feelings for other people. Although, their first outing together to Koh Kret was because of the loneliness and pain Mitch had inflicted. "He deserves better than that."
"You want to give up what you have with Tom over one mistake? You guys are adorable and look at this trip he planned. The waterfalls are breathtaking, and this hotel is gorgeous."
Maria exhaled slowly. His actions and intent were great, but as a couple, something wasn't working. Deep down, she knew what it was. "It wasn't a mistake, and the worst part is I would do it again and again." Given a choice, her heart would always gravitate to Mitch.
"You're really considering Mitch? After everything he's done?"
Maria gazed at the trees swaying in the breeze through the sheer curtains. "When we're together, it feels right. With Tom, it more like work."
Emma leaned up on her elbow. "When things are good, Mitch is fun. But when they're bad... you remember what it was like around Christmas, don't you? Nothing's Tom's done has made you that upset."
It had hit her as hard as the ending of her two-year relationship, including Adrian's infidelity and abuse. But Mitch seemed different now. He didn't flirt with her like it was some kind of competition with Tom, he'd opened up about his sister, and he genuinely supported her happiness whether or not he was in the picture. She couldn't keep denying that she wanted him.
"That proves my point though. If felt as strongly about Tom as I do about Mitch, I'd be jealous that he relies so much on Prae or stressing that he hasn't texted me back, but I'm not. I'm fixated on Mitch."
"There's no guarantee that ending your relationship with Tom will make anything happen with Mitch. He's sketchy as hell with relationships. Shawn said he hasn't had a single one in Thailand in three years."
It was risky, but fear of being alone wasn't a good enough reason to stay with Tom. "If I don't end things, I'll either hurt Tom, or we'll have a lukewarm relationship."
"Let me talk to Shawn, subtly, I promise, before you make any brash decision. I'll see where Blondie's head is at."
She nodded as she'd done enough damage to Tom tonight and this week. "Thanks, Em."
Emma squeezed Maria's hand then grabbed her phone. After a few texts, Emma sat up, straightened out her dress and hair, and headed out to meet Shawn at the bar. Was he there because Mitch needed a room to himself? Prae wasn't back, nor was there any sign of her on the terrace. Emma left before Maria could ask.