Your footsteps clicked along the disgustingly beautiful marble floors of the cathedral. You finally made up your mind in the moment.
Even though you were glad that you had found somewhere to stay, a part of you screamed and screeched about leaving. The other part of you was suddenly worried about how Ruv would react.
He'd made such an effort to befriend you. He made you feel safe, even in times that you were vulnerable and afraid.
Sure, he was a little annoying sometimes but you two seemed to be friends. Maybe you were just insecure. Maybe this was one huge mistake. Maybe--
Wait
Why is he so important?
Why does the fact of whether or not you leave hinge off of him?
That was the moment you realized that you'd gotten to comfortable.
You refused to realize what was obvious.
He wouldn't think the same way about you -- he was probably just being polite.
Of course, you being so desperate, you fell for him.
Of course you did.
You could never forgive yourself for being so selfish.
Pushing your feelings onto other people. Just who do you think you are?
You're undeserving of love.
Especially while constantly playing this game of back and forth, deciding on whether or not you'd stay with clearly friendly and welcoming people. Had you used them?
You could tell which thoughts were insecurities or facts. You just wanted to run away. Run away from all your problems, like you had done your whole life.
Your heart throbbed in your chest, making your eyes water and your face become flushed.
Sarvente, meanwhile ran after you, trying to talk you down, assuming you were just having a moment. Maybe you were, but that didn't seem to matter to her.
"Y/n, please, you can't keep doing this--"
"Please, leave me alone" You barely choked out, holding back tears.
Sarvente caught up to you, and forcefully grabbed your hand.
When you tried to wiggle away from her grip, she only strengthened her hold on you.
"What is the matter?? You've just been on edge lately, and--"
"Why does it matter to you?!" You exclaimed. "I can't keep leeching off of you. You're so nice and I'm making you act out of character, please just let me leave" You pleaded, tears fully rushing down your face.
Sarvente softened her expression towards you, and gently clasped her other hand with yours, loosening her grip.
"I.. I know it's hard."
"What do you mean?"
"I know it's hard to accept kindness from others... you feel guilty, don't you?"
Before you could answer, she answered her own question.
"I know your life has been hard. I know you feel out of place, but realize that you feel this way only because you were made to feel this - by something or someone. You feel like you need..."
"Forgiveness"