Callie stared straight ahead. Just like Sarah had said. And did indeed drool. A lot. Her jaw was slack. Sarah tutted, then went to get a towel and replaced the drenched one under Callie's chin.
"They don't even change out her towel," Sarah complained. "How can they just leave her like this?"
I frowned. I agreed. Callie was still a human being. She still deserved respect and to be treated as such. I wanted to cry. Callie was somewhere far away from us and we didn't know how to bring her back.
I very carefully got up onto her bed and took her tied down right hand. I held it and stared into Callie's beautiful blue eyes. I looked for any sign of awareness. Something. Callie didn't even blink.
I signed to her.
"Callie, it's Dad. I'm okay. I'm going to be okay. Please, honey, come back."
Nothing. I wiped a string of drool coming out of her mouth.
"Bren," Sarah said. "What if she's like this forever?"
"Then we bring her home, we keep her comfortable and we take care of her. Like we promised we would do when we adopted her."
Sarah nodded.
I took Callie's hand again and just stared.
Since I was still healing I got a bit uncomfortable and moved to lay beside Callie, just to get some pressure off my wound. I held her in my arms as we lay on her bed.
The four of us chatted some while visiting. Sarah would sign to Callie, Zack and Kala would take turns.
Visiting hours were drawing to a close and a nurse had already come in to warn us our time was almost up.
Suddenly, Callie took a deep, shuddering breath. I sat up quickly, which did not feel good, and looked at her. She didn't look different but I noticed something. Her chin was dry. She'd swallowed. Her jaw looked a bit less slack.
"Am I crazy?" I asked Sarah and Zack and Kala after explaining what I saw. Sarah looked at Callie.
"Baby?" She signed. Callie swallowed. Her eyes rolled and she blinked. She still wasn't focussed on anything or anyone but she was swallowing.
We excitedly started signing to her, hoping she was coming back.
Callie blinked one more time and then closed her eyes. I watched her carefully. Was she breathing? Yes. Yes she is.
"She's asleep," Sarah said, a slight laugh, slight sob coming from her. "She fell asleep. I don't think she's really slept at all the past couple of days."
I kissed Callie on the head, hugged her close to me and pulled the blanket up around her. We informed the staff of the changes on our way off the unit. They didn't seem interested, or that they even believed us. I didn't care. We were getting Callie out of here as soon as possible. I had some phone calls to make.
Back in my room, my nurse came in and tried to give me shit for leaving the unit.
"First of all, I am a grown adult. I can make my own decisions when I am awake and conscious. Second, that is my daughter up there. I know what she's been through. I understand her better than anyone else in the hospital, except for these three," I indicated Sarah and Zack and Callie. "Third, the conditions my daughter has been left in are abhorrent. How is a child with any sort of mental illness or crisis supposed to heal in a stark white room tied to a bed?"
"I don't know that the conditions are as bad as you say. The kids are treated with respect, they all have activities that they go to during the day around therapy sessions and even school during the school year."
I showed the nurse the picture of Callie I'd taken when we arrived in her room.
"Really?" I said. "Tell me, which activity is this?"
The nurse was flabbergasted.
"They're not supposed to leave the restraints on. And she should have at least a roommate."
"Well, she's alone in the room, tied to her bed and catatonic. So there aren't any activities for her to participate in. They have her in a diaper. I don't think they change it very often. And they just leave her to drool all over herself. So tell me, are those conditions in which you would expect a terrified 12-year-old to heal in?"
The nurse shook her head.
"If you'll excuse me, I have some phone calls to make and I have visitors."
The nurse turned around and walked out of my room.
"Go Papa Bear," Zack said, staring at me. "That was kind of epic."
I looked at him and picked up my phone again, making some calls to people who could help us in this particular situation. My first order of business was getting Callie out of that unit. Then I'd focus on getting her better. Even if we spent the rest of the summer here in New York to help her get better, I would do what it took to bring her back to us.
Zack and Kala went back to our rental and Sarah stayed with me until the staff kicked her out.
I sent a flurry of emails, texts and messages to people I knew who could make sure this never happened again
Just before I went to sleep, I sent one last email to one of the therapists I'd looked up before our trip. I asked to set up an appointment for our return and explained some of what had happened.
That done, I plugged my phone in and sighed. I was doing what I could to help my daughter and it was already more than the hospital had.
I fell into a fitful sleep, worried about Callie. My dreams were filled with images of Callie and fire. I kept trying to reach her and save her from the fire, but she kept getting pulled just out of my grasp.