Listen To: "Love is Not Over" by BTS
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"Yuta, I swear to God if you splash water on me one more time, I will drown you," I scream as he chases me down the beach. He reaches me and wraps his arms around me as he spins us around, threatening to throw me in the ocean. We just finished shooting for the day and the guys are now splashing around in the ice cold water and having fun. It was such a fun day; it was a closed shoot so it was just the guys, a couple of their managers, a couple makeup and hair girls, Taek and I. The rest of the staff is taking down and getting stuff put away for the day. Taek has all my equipment and he's making sure that we have everything we need. I sit on the sand, in between Johnny and Taeyong and Yuta plops down right in front of me. I turn my head to look behind me to see Daehyun standing next to the railing of the dock, his hands in his pockets; eyes covered with his sunglasses and hat, completely not being inconspicuous. He hasn't left my side all day; refused to leave me alone with Taek and kept his eyes on me consistently.
"I can't believe we were able to shoot that all in one day instead of two," Johnny says, an exhausted sigh leaving his mouth.
"I'm glad we made it work. Doing it in two days would have made it easier but I'm glad we knocked it out and now you guys get to have a day off here tomorrow," I tell him.
"And you get to have a rest day to really prepare for your Vogue shoot," Jaehyun asks. Silence falls onto us as we sit on the sand and look out to the water.
"So you wanna tell us why you're traveling with a personal bodyguard now?" Taeyong asks me. I turn my head to face him. From the moment I met them this morning, Taeyong, Johnny, Yuta, and Jaehyun all noticed the change in demeanor in me.
"It's— it's a long story," I say to them. I'm not sure if I want to bring them on what's going on; I'd have to omit the part having to do with my relationships and I feel like once a lie starts, keeping up with it would be so much work and being dishonest with people I care about, or anyone for that matter, isn't something that I want to do.
"Are you safe?" Yuta asks, the worry in his eye is evident.
"I am now," I respond.
"But you weren't before?" Taeyong asks me.
"No," I reply. Their eyes all go to me and I can tell that they want to ask me questions but they're holding themselves back.
"Is there anything we can do to help?" Jaehyun says. I feel Taeyong next to me, his hand patting on my knee, showing me comfort in any way he can.
"You guys are so sweet. I'm okay now. I am being taken care of and my guy Daehyun over there," I say as I turn back and point at my new friend. "he's got my back. So, don't worry. Everything will be fine," I reassure them. I hear their manager call over Johnny, Yuta, and Jaehyun. They get up, wipe the sand from their butts and walk over to where their team is. Taeyong scoots closer to me and I wrap my parka around my body tighter as the breeze sends a shiver down my spine.
"We're worried about you Ella," I hear him say. I look at him and smile then I lean my head on his shoulder.
"I wish I could tell you everything, but I can't," I say honestly.
"You can trust me, you know?" He answers.
"I know TY. I do trust you but this— this is a lot and it involves other people and I just can't get into it. But I'll be okay," I say to him. I feel him drop his head, leaning on to mine, his arm wraps around me and I smile. It's nice to have friends who are so supportive. We might not see each other super often but I know if I ever need anything, these boys are always here for me. He lifts his head off of mine, kisses my temple and then stands up. He reaches his hands down to help me stand and I grab them and bring myself to my feet.
"I should go," I tell him. He pulls me into a warm hug.
"I'm here if you need anything," he tells me. I let go of him and smile. I make my way back to where Taek has finished up. I say goodbye to the others and we decide to get together once we are back in Seoul so that we can catch up outside of work. Daehyun walks over and grabs my bags from Taek; his distaste in the younger man not hidden.
"Ready Taek?" I say. He nods at me and Daehyun leads us toward the car. The drive back to the hotel is quick. Once we arrive I look over at Taek in the back seat.
"Since we finished the shoot in a single day, that means we have tomorrow off. You're more than welcome to go off on your own and do whatever you'd like. Your flight home is the following morning," I tell him. Vogue has provided me with a team for the shoot so I didn't necessarily need him here for that shoot so he would be heading home early. "Once we get back home, I'd like for us to sit down and talk about a few things," I tell him. I hate confrontation so my hands are shaking as I speak to him.
"Okay," he says. "Is everything okay?" He asks.
I smile and nod at him, not even able to say words. We step out of the car and make our way into the building. Once we've reached the elevator, we climb in and I see Daehyun looking down at his phone, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Are we good Daehyun-ssi?" I ask. He raises his head to look at me and I can just feel it; something isn't right.
"Yes, El-ssi, just touching base with Hyun-Jin-ssi," he tells me, trying to smile at me but something just doesn't feel right. "Namjoon-ssi is having coffee with a friend so he will be meeting you later. Taek-ssi, there has been a change in plans, you'll be heading home tonight," he says as he turns back to Taek. My eyes go straight to Daehyun while Taek looks over at me and I feel lost.
"No need to worry," Daehyun assures us. "Sejin-Nim just messaged and said since you were able to finish the shoot early, he would like Taek to come into the company tomorrow to help Sungho with a last minute photoshoot for the junior group as his assistant is ill," he tells us. I know Sungho (my backup shooter for Big Hit) has a shoot with TxT tomorrow so it doesn't seem too far off. Because Taek is technically still a Big Hit employee along with being my personal assistant, sometimes he does work outside of mine as well so it isn't rare for Sejin to call and ask for him to work on other projects.
"Oh okay," Taek says and it's obvious that he is a little thrown off. The elevator stops and we step out and before I turn to head to my room, I turn to face Taek.
"Thank you for your work today Taek. I hope you have a good flight home," I tell him. Daehyun grabs my gear and other equipment from him and give him a slight nod. He tells him his flight is leaving in 2 hours; he will call him a taxi to take him to the airport and will meet him downstairs when he's ready.
"Thank you El-ssi. Will you let me know when you arrive and we can set up our meeting. I'm anxious to know what you want to talk to me about," he tells me and it feels as if he's asking for reassurance that everything is okay but unfortunately I can't give it to him.
"I will let you know. Safe travels, goodnight Taek-ssi," I say as I bow to him. He smiles at me and then turns to go to his room and I make my way to mine. Before the door closes behind me, I hear Daehyun call my name.
"El-ssi, I will be right in my room if you need anything. Please do not hesitate to let me know if there is anything I can do for you," he tells me.
"Thank you Daehyun-ssi," I tell him with a bow.
"Please, El-ssi, call me Dae," he says as he bows and walks out the door. Namjoon had let me know that he was going to be meeting his friend Daewang for coffee to talk about a possible collaboration so I knew he wouldn't be in the suite.
I walk in, drop my things, take off my shoes and decide to head into the bathroom to take a quick shower to get the sand and just overall day off of me. I strip off my clothes and jump into the hot water. I take my time and let the water relax my sore muscles, drifting and dissociating from the world around me as I shut my brain off and let myself sing along to the music that fills the room; missing my boys more than I can even express.
"죽을 것 같아도 살아 너 없이
Even if I feel like dying, I manage to live without you
(영원하길 girl)
(hope it lasts forever, girl)
Over, over, love is not over
이 끝이 없는 미로 속에서 어서 날 꺼내줘
Hurry and take me out of this endless maze
사랑이란 아프고 아픈 것
Love is pain after pain
이별이란 아프고 더 아픈 것 같애
Goodbye is pain and more pain
니가 없으면 나 안될 것 같아
I can't do anything without you
사랑해줘 사랑해줘
Please love me, please love me
다시 내 품으로 와줘
Please come back into my arms again
사랑이란 아프고 아픈 것 yeah
Love is pain after pain yeah
이별이란 아프고 더 아픈 것 같애
Goodbye is pain and more pain
니가 없으면 나 안될 것 같아
I can't do anything without you
사랑해줘 사랑해줘
Please love me, please love me
다시 내 품으로 와줘
Please come back into my arms again..."
After 20 minutes or so, I finally turn off the water and wrap myself in a fluffy and warm towel, I pad into the room where my suitcase is to grab some clothes and hear my phone ringing. I grab it from the nightstand and smile as I see a photo of Jimin and I pop up on the screen, a video call coming in from him. I flip open my phone and slide my thumb across the screen, holding the phone out as I plop myself down on the bed to talk to him.
"Hi baby," I say as I his face comes on the screen. He looks so soft and cuddly; his dark hair hangs over his face, the hood of his sweater draping his head. His face is bare and I can't help but stare at his beautiful pink lips; thinking of how they feel against mine, how he tastes. I squeeze my thighs together to try and dull the growing pulsation between my legs and I shake my head to try and bring me back to reality.
"What are you thinking about 자기야?" He asks me with a wink.
"You," I answer without a single reservation.
"Mmmm. What about me?" He asks.
"I'm thinking about how much I miss you; your lips," I tell him. I see a blush kiss his cheeks.
"I miss you so much. I wish you were here so I could kiss you," he says to me.
"I wish I was too my love," I tell him. We talk for a little while, he tells me about the foods Seokjin has been making, the games he's been playing with Taehyung and how he wrote a song that he really loves. I tell him about my shoot, the beach, and how we have tomorrow off and I'm hoping to explore the city a little bit more. Hoseok, Jin, and Tae walk into the room and I say hi to each of them. I hear a knock on the door while we are catching up and we say our goodbyes as I walk toward the door to answer it.
I open the door and look down to see a paper bag—folded over perfectly, a single red rose and a note. A chill runs down my spine and I'm instantly overcome by sheer terror. I step around the items on the floor and walk next door to knock on Daehyun's door. I feel my heart rate accelerating and panic starts to set in.
"El-ssi?" Daehyun says. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" He asks he, his hands going to my shoulders to try and break me from the trance I'm in. I look up at him and can feel my heart beating out of my chest.
"Someone left something at my door," I tell him. He turns around to look at my door and sees the things on the ground.
"Get in my room and wait for me there," he demands. I nod at him as he leads me into his room and I sit myself down on the ground in the middle of the room. I bring my knees up to my chest, put my head in between my knees and try to take deep breaths. I'm not sure how much time has elapsed as I feel myself disassociate. I come back to when I feel my phone vibrating on the ground next to me. I look to see Namjoon calling me.
"Hey," I say, my voice barley above a whisper.
"Are you okay? Where are you?" He tells me, panic tinging his voice.
"I'm in Daehyun-ssi's room," I tell him.
"Don't move, I'll be there in 10 minutes," he says and hangs up. I assume Daehyun called Hyun-Jin and he probably told Joon. I start to feel anxious, why isn't Daehyun back? I start to rock on my butt, back and forth, trying to self soothe and bring down my heart rate. I look down at my phone and debate calling someone, just to help ground me but decide against it. The last thing I need to do is worry the others. I hear the door rattle and look up to see Daehyun walk in.
"El-ssi," he says as he comes down and sits on the floor with me, putting his hands on my shoulders again to help ground me. Part of me wonders if he's had training with how to respond to people who have anxiety or severe trauma responses because it's like he knows exactly what I need to calm down. "You're okay, no one will hurt you," he reassures me. "I took care of it and as soon as Hyun-Jin arrives we will make a plan of attack to see what needs to be done. But for now, you're safe, okay?" He finishes.
"Thank you Dae-ssi," I tell him. He continues to apply pressure to my shoulders until I feel myself stop rocking. The door lock beeps and Hyun-Jin and Namjoon walk in and the moment I see him, I feel a sense of relief; just looking at his face, knowing he's here, it makes everything better.
"I'm going to go de-brief Hyun-Jin," Dae says to me. I nod at him and he stands up and heads to the other men. They quickly and quietly exchange a few words and the two bodyguards make their way outside. Namjoon walks to me and immediately drops to his knees; his hands go to my face and he cups my jaw, pulling me up to look at him. I close my eyes and lean into his touch.
"Everything is going to be okay Sweet Thing. I'm here. I got you baby," he whispers as he leans forward and places a kiss to my forehead. He pulls me closer to him so that I'm sitting in his legs, my head laying against his chest as he strokes my hair. After a few minutes, the door reopens and Dae and Hyun-Jin make their way back inside.
"I'm going to talk to Daehyun-ssi and Hyun-Jin-ssi, okay?" He says as he places his lips on my head.
"Okay, I'm going to use the restroom to freshen up," I tell him. I get up off his lap and make my way into Dae and Hyun-Jin's bathroom.
I go in, close the door and go to the sink. I take a deep breath and turn on the water to splash some on my face. I grab a towel and dab my face. It's hard to describe how I feel; obviously I'm worried but beyond that I think the only way to describe how I feel is just, over it. I hear the vibrations of my phone ringing against the countertop and smile as I see Yoongi's name pops up on the screen.
"Hi," I let out softly.
"God, I miss you" he groans out.
"I miss you. So much," I tell him. I decide right there and then not to tell him what's going on. Not until I've got the whole story.
"How was your day?" He asks.
"It was good. We finished the shoot in one day as opposed to two so we have tomorrow off," I say to him. "How was yours?" I ask.
"Good. I was in the studio almost all day. I worked on a track that I have had on my roster for a few months. It felt really good to lay it down. I'm really excited for it," he says. I can tell he really is excited, the tone of his voice is telling.
"I can't wait to hear it," I say. "How is everyone else doing?" I ask him
"Good. Seokjin-hyung went to go visit his family, Hob-ah has been in the dance studio, Jimin-ah and Taehyung-ah have been playing video games, and Jungkook-ah went to a house dance class with Taesung-ssi at his studio. I think we're all just bored and ready for you to be home," he finishes.
"Soon," I tell him.
"Everything okay?" He asks. I should have known that Yoongi always knows when something is bothering me.
"Yeah, yeah," I lie. "I'm just tired. It's been a long day," I finish.
"I love you," he tells me and I feel my heart thump in my chest, fondness filling my whole body.
"I love you Yoongi-ah. I'll text you later, yeah?" I tell him.
"Okay. Be safe. Tell Joon-ah I said hello. Love you," he finishes.
"Love you sweetheart," I say as I hang up. As soon as I pull the phone away from my ear, I hear a rap on the door and Namjoon stick his head in.
"Let's go for a walk baby," he says to me as he reaches for my hand and motions at me to follow him out.
15 minutes later, we are walking hand in hand on the beach, the waves creating a melodic lullaby that soothes my worried soul. The beach is practically abandoned; the fact that it's a private spot and because of the cold that's blanketed the entire island. Namjoon finds a spot and sits down, pulling me down to sit in between his legs. Our coats crunch under us as we adjust and he cuddles into me. I can feel the heat of his breath on my ear as he leans his head on to mine. After a few moments of silence, I hear him take a deep breath.
"We have to put a stop to all of this," he tells me. "Dae-ssi and Hyun-Jin-ssi can't be certain but the way things played out makes them think Taek was behind this. The things were dropped off shortly after he left. He has a motive," he explains.
"What was in the bag? What did the note say?" I ask him.
"Okay, I'll show you but I need you to prepare yourself because it's disgusting," he says as I feel him let out an exhale. He pulls his phone out and holds it out in front of us. He unlocks the screen and scrolls to his photo gallery. He opens the most recent photo and I gasp when I see. The photo is the inside of the paper bag and I can see a small animal inside of it and I feel my stomach churn.
"What is that?" I ask him.
"It's a dead rat," he tells me.
"What the fuck?" I let out.
He slides his finger on the screen to show the next photo and it's a capture of the note. He zooms it in and I read the handwritten note:
"He will never love you the way he could love me. You will never fill that part of his heart. You don't deserve him. You're dirty, disgusting and used; a rat. And just like the rat in this bag, I won't stop until you've reached the same end."
I feel Namjoon wrap his arms around me as he puts his phone on the sand beside us. He tightens his grip on me and rests his lips on the shell of my ear.
"I won't let anyone hurt you," he whispers. I look out into the water; deep and seemingly unending. It's peaceful but chaotic, strong but serene. I close my eyes and let myself get lost in the sounds, the cold breeze against my cheeks and the heaviness from Namjoon's arms around me.
"Talk to me," he says to me.
"I don't— I don't know what to say or how to feel or what to do," I say to him. "I feel numb," I say.
"I'm sorry baby. I'm just so sorry," he says softly. I turn around and face him, letting my hands cup his cheeks and bringing him up to look at me.
"Don't," I tell him. "You have to stop apologizing for things that happen that are out of your hands. This is not your fault. You are not responsible for the actions of others," I reassure. I lean in and press my lips to his. I hate that he feels this sense of guilt and I want to erase every single feeling of it from him. He pulls away from my slowly, as his thumb grazes my cheek.
"If you weren't my girlfriend, you wouldn't be going through this," he tells me; pain fills his eyes and I can feel my heart breaking.
"You can't keep thinking that. Me being your girlfriend isn't the reason why bad things happen. They just do. Maybe not this exact situation but bad things still would still be happening. The difference in this situation, is I get to have you and all this shit, all this absolutely terrifying crap, is worth fighting because of you," I tell him.
"I just worry," he confesses.
"About what?" I ask him. I scoot closer to him, my legs draped over his thighs and my arms around his waist.
"I'm scared— that one day you'll wake up and it will all be too much and you'll leave. And I wouldn't even blame you," he tells me.
"Joon-ah," I say as I nudge my nose against his. "Do you know that I wake up every single morning and worry about the same thing?" I ask him. "I wake up every single day praying that you don't see how much trouble I've brought into your lives and tell me to go," I say.
"We can't keep thinking this way," he tells me. "It's going to kill us, this negativity," he continues. He's right. If we keep worrying about something that hasn't happened, it's going to end up affecting us sooner or later.
"You're right," I tell him. "So let's promise," I say as I hold my pinky up between us. He looks down and smiles, giving me a flash of his dimples, and brings his pinky up to look onto mine. "I promise to stop worrying about something that hasn't happened. Stop focusing on the negative things and focus only on the positive, the good, the beautiful. I promise that I will see the value I hold in your heart, and allow myself to believe that I'm good enough to deserve you, worthy of being yours," I promise.
I bring our hands up and kiss our fingers and vow to myself right then and there, that I will try my hardest to do exactly what I promised.
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"This concept is beautiful. Is everything ready to go?" I ask my assistant photographer and the shoot assistant.
"Yes, we are waiting on the last two models to arrive and then we will be ready to go," he responds. It's such an honor to be working with not only one of the most incredible designers in South Korea but the team at Vogue is some of the most talented in the industry. I finish talking to the team and start setting up my gear while we wait. I look behind me knowing that Namjoon is sitting on the couch with Daehyun. As soon as my eyes find his, hidden underneath his baseball cap and his mouth by a mask, I am instantly filled with warmth.
Yesterday was such a need break. We stayed in our hotel room all day; eating room service, cuddling, watching movies, and indulging in the ability to be able to do absolutely nothing together. Daehyun secured the items that were left at my door to get to Detective Lee in Seoul, along with video footage from the hotel security cameras. Taek arrived back in Seoul and from what Sejin says, has stayed quiet and out of the way. Daehyun insists that he think's Taek is who's behind this; 'a gut feeling' he calls it. I appreciate how hard he's trying to make sure the rest of the trip goes off without anymore issues. Namjoon insisted he join me at the shoot today.
"It's not just to make sure you're safe but I want to watch you doing something you've always dreamed of and I want nothing more than to be a witness to you while you do it," he tells me as he kisses me.
And not I'm here; literally living out one of my greatest dreams, shooting a cover and spread for Vogue Korea. And not just any issue but the highly anticipated wedding issue. I feel the butterflies in my stomach and anxiousness fill my chest. I spend the next 10 or so minutes getting everything situated and prepared for the shoot then, while I wait for the models, I go to sit down next to Joon and Dae.
"Hi," I say to him as I sit down next to him. It's such a surreal experience to have him here, like a normal boyfriend. I was nervous about it when he told me when he was coming but he was right, no one is paying any attention to him and has no idea that the leader of the biggest group in the world is sitting on their couch. It makes me feel invincible.
"Hi Pretty," he says as he drops his phone on his lap and turns to look at me. "How's my girl feeling?" He asks me. His voice is deep and smooth as he places his hand on my thigh and he soothes every ounce of nerves I was feeling.
"I'm good. I'm nervous but i'm okay," I tell him.
"You're so talented El. The art you create, it's beautiful. Remember, they picked you. They wanted you. You've got this. I believe in you and I'll be right here cheering you on," he tells me. I wish I could kiss him; thank him for being the best boyfriend. But before I can do that, the shoot assistant is walking to me and I can see the worry in his face.
"Wooyung-ssi? Is everything okay?" I ask him.
"No, Eleanor-ssi. The final model for Nouvelle Mariee's cover gown was in a car accident and is unable to come. We don't have enough time to find someone else and the designer is on her way here to do the final fittings. We don't know what to do," he let's out an exhausted breath.
"Okay, let's try and figure this out," I tell him as I stand up. I hear shouting in the back room and we turn our eyes to see a beautiful woman in a white tailored suit and I instantly know that she's the designer. Wooyung and I walk toward her to see if we can help diffuse the situation a little bit.
"We need to find someone now. This shoot can only be done today and goes to print in 2 weeks. This gown is the anchor of my whole collection and it needs to be in this publication. I need someone now," she demands. She turns over to look around, turning her nose and her eyes gazing over all of the staff until she lands at me and Wooyung. "You," she says as she points to me. "You will model my gown," she demands. I look at her and shake my head. "You are perfect. The right size, correct body proportions, beautiful face" she continues.
"No. I— I can't. I— I'm sorry, I'm the photographer," I babble out.
"I can photograph you," Chinhwa, my assistant photographer says. I look over at him and widen my eyes and shake my head. What is he thinking?
"Eleanor-ssi, if the designer says you fit, we would really appreciate you doing this for us. Besides, you'd be credited not only as the photographer but as a model as well," the representative for Vogue tells me.
"Perfect. It's settled. She will photograph the first two sets and my set will be photographed by the assistant. Everyone carry on," she orders. I am standing there in a state of shock. What in the actual fuck is happening?
"Let's go El-ssi," Wooyung says as he pulls me by the elbow. We walk to the first set where the models are starting to file in, touch ups being done by the makeup artists. We start shooting the first set and I feel like I can't shake off this weird feeling. 2 hours later and I'm completely wrapped up in the beauty of this shoot; it's absolutely stunning. The set is a woodland fairytale with trees, vines, twinkle lights, and a gentle smoke machine blanketing the ground in a foggy haze. The wedding gowns are all very ethereal and fit the fairytale theme perfectly. The models are incredible and working with such professionals is such a wonderful experience. We move through the sets seamlessly and then it's time for me to go get dressed. Chinhwa grabs my camera, starts to backup my images and then Wooyung ushers me to the back where the makeup and hair artists are waiting for me. The Vogue representative walks in as my makeup is getting done.
"Are we sure there isn't anyone else that could do this?" I ask.
"No. Your body shape is exactly the same as the model's and there is no one else that would fit the gown," he responds to me.
"But I'm not a model. I know nothing about this," I say to him.
"You're beautiful and you know angels and poses because of your experience as a photographer. I'm sure you're going to do great. It's completely normal to feel nervous, it's something you've never done but just know that we all have faith in you and are so thankful that you're able to help us with this," he reassures me. I give him a flat smile and look back at the mirror where the artists are now starting on my hair.
Time passes quickly and before I know it, I'm staring into the mirror looking like a whole different person. My makeup is soft, peachy blush kisses my cheeks. My eyes have a shimmery shadow on the lids and a smudged brown liner that enhances my eye shape and color. A gentle gleam on the tops of my cheekbones and the tip of my nose and my lashes have been curled and covered in black mascara. My hair has been curled into soft waves, one side pinned back elegantly with baby's breath and tiny flowers placed intricately and the other draped over my face slightly. The whole look is so airy, delicate, and ethereal. The wardrobe stylist walks in, rolling a tall rack. And she opens the white bag to expose the gown i'm going to be modeling and my hands go to my mouth to cover the gasp that leaves my lips.
The gown is one of the most stunning pieces of clothing I've ever seen. It's a literal piece of art. It's a gorgeous champagne color; delicate, white lace covering the whole of the bodice. It's a fitted style; an understated trumpet silhouette, off the shoulder with long, nude illusion sleeves draped in lace. Tiny, crystals and beads are sporadically placed throughout the of the garment. Then, right at the base of the hips, there is cascading layers of organza, with lace appliqué on the hemline that create volume at the waist and give the dress the train. It's absolutely stunning and I can't believe that I get to wear this.
"Now do you see?" I hear the designer ask me from behind. I turn to look at her. "You're the only other person who could do this gown justice," she tells me with a smile. They take the gown off the hanger and the other wardrobe stylist helps me take off my robe and I step into the gown. They zip it up and I can not believe how perfectly it fits my body. It's like it was absolutely made for me. I turn around as they adjust the gown on my body and look in the mirror. I never thought I'd see myself looking like this. It's overwhelming. They finish doing the touch ups, grab the train, and lead me to the set.
I stand there waiting for them to finish setting up. Chinhwa brings his camera to me and starts showing me his settings and I help him to make sure we get cohesive images. He walks away and I feel someone standing behind me. I turn around and come face to face with my boyfriend. His eyes are wide and I'm not quite sure what he's thinking.
"Oh my god," he lets out as he steps back slightly and his eyes rake up and down my body.
"What?" I say, needing for him just tell me what he's thinking.
"You— I—" he sighs a frustrated exhale as he struggles to say what he's feeling. He grabs my hand and interlaces his fingers with mine and squeezes. "God, you look so beautiful. I can't— I just. I don't have words," he says. He steps closer, gently wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me. His nose hits my ear and I can feel his heart racing under his chest. "I love you," he whispers and I'm instantly covered in goosebumps.
"I love you Joonie," I say to him. Just as he lets me go, I hear the production assistant start to ask for places and I turn to walk on to set.
The whole shoot goes in a flash and by the time I can even grasp what's going on, it's over. As soon as Chinhwa calls it a wrap, I feel arms around me; people chanting, congratulating me and telling me what an amazing job I did. Wooyung grabs my shoulder and guides me to the dressing room.
"Well done, Eleanor-ssi," the designer greets me as she claps her hands together. "You really should think about modeling in your future. I'd love to have you for a few campaigns," she tells me.
"Thank you. I'm glad I was able to help but I think I'll stick to photography," I tell her. The assistants help me out of the dress and I put on my clothes. I say goodbye to the staff and designers, getting the last minute details from the Vogue representative about the deadline for the images. I walk toward the back of the loft where Namjoon and Dea are waiting for me. Namjoon reaches his hand out for mine and I can see his smile in his eyes. He interlaces his fingers with mine and we walk out to the car that's waiting for us.
Once we step in, I pull my phone out for the first time in all day to see a string of new messages. Namjoon's hand grips on to my thigh as his thumb strokes circles into my skin. I start with the first notification which is our group chat. Namjoon sent them a photo of me during the shoot. I look at the photo and can't believe it's me. I look down to realize no one responded to the photo in the group thread but I have 6 individual messages waiting to be read. I open the first from Taehyung and I smile as I read his words.
Taehyung
My beautiful Angel.
I feel my heart skip a beat at his term of endearment. I move to the next message, vowing to come back and respond to each of them after I've read them all. I move on to the next name on the list and I feel myself get giddy at the sight of Hoseok's name.
Hobi
I've never thought that the sight of you in a wedding gown would bring me to my knees but here I am.
I blush at his bluntness. I move to the next name, my whole body filling with warmth at the thought of him.
Seokjin
I dreamt about what my future wife would look like waiting for me at the end of the aisle. Now I know.
I laugh softly at his statement, in true Seokjin fashion. I scroll to the next message and open it.
Jimin
I've never seen anything so beautiful in my whole life.
My sweet Jiminie, always so genuine and romantic. I look at the last two messages, the first two received and scroll to the next.
Yoongi
I have never given marriage much thought throughout my life; always deeming it as an insignificant piece of paper that means nothing. But seeing you like that, wearing that dress, makes me want nothing more than to see you walking down the aisle to me and vowing to love you every day of forever.
I feel the butterflies in my stomach. My heart yearning to be near him, to touch him, to reassure him that all I want is to give him every day of forever. I go to the last message, the first message sent to me after the photo was sent in the group chat and I feel my heart racing.
Jungkook
There are many things that I'm unsure of but the one thing I can say with certainty is that all I want to do for the rest of my life, is love you. You're my dream come true; everything that I have ever wanted. You complete me. I love you Eleanor.
I don't realize that i'm crying until I feel Namjoon's thumb gently wipe the tears that have stained my cheek.
"Baby," he says as he turns his body to me and cups my jaw. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asks me, worry filling his eyes.
"I'm okay, I'm just— I'm happy. I love you," I tell him.
"I love you so much," he responds. We feel the car pull up and stop in front of our hotel. Daehyun steps out and opens the door for us. We don't have plans tonight as we fly home very early tomorrow. Joon grabs my hand and we walk through the lobby and go up to our room. Once we walk in, he closes the door behind us and his hands land on my hips as he walks behind me. I get to the bed and I take my jacket off and kick off my shoes, turn around and face him.
"Watching you today, I—" he starts as he presses his lips against mine softly. "Fuck, I don't even have words," he continues. He kisses me gently, pulling my bottom lip as he runs his mouth down my jaw and to my neck. I wrap my arms around his neck and I pull him against me, pressing my body against his.
"Joon-ah," I moan out as I feel his fingers digging into my hips.
"Please be with me forever," he tells me. I push him to sit on the bed and I straddle his lap. I let my body take control of what it wants and my hips grind against him, seeking the friction. "So perfect for me, aren't you baby?" He asks me.
"Mine," I mumble against his mouth. My hands move down to the hem of his hoodie and I pull it up and over his head and throw is across the room haphazardly, just wanting to touch every inch of his skin. My mouth finds his again as my fingers graze down his torso until I find the button of his pants and I move to unbuckle them.
"Someone is frantic today," he mumbles against my lips.
"Want me to stop?" I ask him as I pull away.
"Don't you dare," he warns me with a smile.
"Thought so," I respond to him with a smirk; wanting to push his boundaries a little bit. I pull down the zipper of his pants and let my fingers softly linger at the waistband of his underwear. "You love it when I'm desperate for you, don't you?" I tease him. I push my hand into his underwear and wrap my fingers around his hardening length as a hiss pushes through his lips.
"Fuck yeah I do. Love to see you so needy for me," he says as he rolls his head back, allowing me to pleasure him slowly, exposing his neck to me. I place my mouth on the heat of his throat, letting myself suck a mark on his beautiful honey skin as he moans out curses under his breath.
"You look so good like this," I tell him, knowing my words are hitting right where I want. "So gorgeous," I tell him as my hand continues to work him and my mouth works it was down his neck and chest, moving to my knees in between his legs.
"Fuck Ella," he lets out. I tug on the waistband of his pants, trying to pull them off but before he can lift his hips up off the bed to help me remove them, we hear a pounding on the door. I abruptly sit-up straight to look at him, anxiety pulsing through my veins.
"Who could that be?" I ask him, knowing he obviously doesn't know either. I stand up and grab his hoodie, giving it to him as he rushes to get dressed. Once his pants are buttoned we go to the door and he pushes in front of me as he reaches to open the door. He pulls it and Daehyun is standing in front of us, his ears red and his eyes dark.
"Dae-ssi," I say out loud, moving in front of Joon. "What's wrong?" I ask. He hands me a phone and Namjoon looks down at the screen with me and I can't believe what I see.
"There's no denying who's behind all of it now," he says and there is no way I can disagree when the evidence is staring me in the face.