"You heard about the lottery on the anniversary of D-Day?" Janovec asked Charlie as he sat in the basement of the hotel with her. She was taking inventory of bandages and he was bored, so, naturally, he'd chosen to spend his free time irritating Charlie.
"Yep," she replied without looking up from her counting.
"How good do you think my chances of winning are?"
Charlie stifled a laugh. "Well, statistically speaking they're the same as everyone else's," she replied, deliberately attempting to be vague. She knew, of course, that there was only one man who had any chance of winning that lottery, and that his chance was a hundred percent; Floyd had pitched his idea about rigging it in Shifty's favour to the officers, each of them individually, and all of them had agreed without a second's hesitation.
Shifty would be going home.
"I can't wait to go home," Janovec said, oblivious to anything lingering below the surface level of Charlie's answer. "Finally eat some good goddamn food. I'm tellin' ya, if I win that lottery I am goin' straight to this bakery down the street from my house and I ain't leavin' until I'm so full I throw up."
Charlie pulled a face. "First of all," she said, straightening up so he'd see her expression, which made him laugh, "that's disgusting."
He grinned.
"Second of all, don't you think there are men who deserve it more?"
Janovec pshawed and Charlie rolled her eyes.
"What do you mean?" he demanded, though Charlie knew he knew exactly what she meant. "You sayin' I ain't done enough?"
"I'm not saying that at all," Charlie explained. "What I'm saying is that there are men who trained at Toccoa, jumped on D-Day, remained on the line for the entirety of our time in Normandy - participating in Carentan and the Battle of Bloody Gulch, some of them also even in the Brécourt Manor Assault. Then they jumped into Holland for Market Garden and remained on the Island throughout our time in Eindhoven, the Island, and Arnhem. Then were on the line for Bastogne, the Bois Jacques, Foy, Noville, Rachamps, and Haguenau. And after all that, they still don't have enough points to go home." She sighed, more exhausted at the entire situation than she was genuinely annoyed or exasperated with Janovec. "Do you not think those men deserve it more?"
"Yeah, I guess, but..."
Charlie nodded along as he explained his perspective, and she didn't try to argue with him. There was nothing wrong with him wanting to go home - any amount of time spent away from home overseas to fight a war was enough to make anyone long for home. In an ideal world, all of them would be returning. But this wasn't an ideal world, far from it, and as much as she wanted all of them to go home, replacements and veterans alike, if she was going to be wishing for anyone to get that opportunity she knew who she would be prioritising.
"But Tab's gotta have enough points, right?" Janovec asked at the end of his speech.
Charlie shot him a sad smile. She finished marking up their current supply of bandages before moving onto the morphine. "He's ten short," she answered Janovec, and took care to ensure her face was hidden from his view when she said it. Saying those three words always made her so desperately sad she couldn't even force a smile, let alone keep the shake out of her voice.
It was so unjust, all of it. Floyd had given so much to the company, to the war, and he still wasn't allowed to leave. General Taylor and the Airborne didn't believe he'd done enough. How could anyone look at the list of all he'd done and not think he'd done enough? It baffled her.
"Jesus," Janovec said with a low exhale of breath. "That's the same amount as I got. How's Tab got the same amount of points as me?"
Charlie shrugged, her face still turned away. None of it made any sense, and she was sick of trying to find any in it.
"What about you guys? The nurses?" Janovec persisted.
Finally, Charlie turned back to face him, two syrettes of morphine in each hand. "We're sticking around, it seems. If you guys go to the Pacific chances are we'll go with you." She knew, of course, that Easy would definitely be going to the Pacific, but the news hadn't been formally announced yet. Floyd had told her that the rest of the enlisted would be told on the anniversary of D-Day, when they found out who won the lottery.
Charlie had joked that it seemed like cruel timing and Floyd had agreed, but it seemed even crueller to her now. Knowing that Janovec, unscathed by war except for all he'd seen at the camp in Landsberg, wouldn't remain that way for long made her heart sink. For him, and for O'Keefe, too, who was still so innocent it didn't seem right for him to even know about the concept of war, let alone be swept up in one, and for all of the other replacements, too. They had no idea what was coming for them. And the scary part was that Charlie was sure even the veterans didn't either - she certainly didn't know. She'd been on the line with Easy ever since D-Day and yet she had no idea what to expect of the Pacific. Would it be better or worse? As bad as Bastogne? Worse?
It didn't bear thinking about. Not yet. Austria was too beautiful and inspired too much happiness to make her want to break the spell just yet.
The nurses weren't invited to the ceremony held to commemorate the anniversary of D-Day, but they watched. It was held in the main square of Zell am See, right outside of the hotel, and they stood with a few of the locals to watch the men perform their drills.
Charlie's eyes were stuck to Floyd the entire time as the company followed Speirs' shouted orders in perfect unison. She smiled as his eyes found hers the instant Speirs called out, "At ease."
Their eyes stayed fixed to each other as they listened to Speirs introduce the lottery. As he spoke, she couldn't help but feel a pang of regret, knowing that Floyd wouldn't be winning it, but he didn't seem to mind. There was a small smile playing at his lips, as big a smile as he was allowed to give when still technically on drill, and there was no sadness in his eyes at all. Only contentedness. And in understanding his certainty that this was the way things were supposed to be, Charlie was reassured that it was okay it wasn't him.
As long as the two of them were together, everything was sure to be alright. And if he stuck around for longer then things would just be alright for longer. For now, all was well.
"General Taylor is aware that many veterans, including Normandy veterans, still do not have the eighty-five points required to be discharged," Speirs was explaining to his men. "On this, the anniversary of D-day, he has authorised a lottery to send one man home in each company, effective immediately."
A palpable wave of anticipation struck the men lined up neatly in their rows.
Charlie's eyes tracked Floyd as he went to retrieve a helmet, the literal hat which the name would be pulled out of, and then approached Lieutenant Welsh for him to choose the name. To complete their charade, Welsh pretended to dig around in the helmet and make it look like a genuine win on Shifty's behalf. Shifty would never accept the opportunity otherwise.
Welsh handed the slip of paper he'd chosen - the only slip of paper in there - to Speirs, who announced, "For Easy Company, the winner is... Serial number 13066266, Sergeant Darrell C. Powers."
Cheers and whistles of congratulations rang out from the crowd of gathered men immediately. Shifty was universally well-liked among the men. If someone could go home, that someone had to be Shifty.
Charlie's eyes deviated from Floyd to steal a look at Shifty, and she found him with his head ducked, laughing and shaking his head in both shyness at being the centre of attention and disbelief.
"I'm glad it's him," Mabs said from beside Charlie.
Charlie smiled. "Me too."
"Sergeant Grant will see to it that Second Platoon takes over at the crossroads checkpoint, beginning tonight at 2200 hours," Speirs went on, speaking above the noise from the crowd.
And they were right back to regularly scheduled programming. They could only be allowed one small retreat from the reality of war and that retreat was now over as quickly as it had started.
"General Taylor has also announced that the 101st Airborne Division will definitely be redeployed to the Pacific," Speirs continued. "So, beginning tomorrow at 0600 hours, we will begin training to go to war."
And there it was. Out in the open for everyone to hear.
Charlie watched as the spirits of the men died right before her eyes. Shoulders hunched, the puffs of chests deflated, and smiles fell. The light which had just started to return to each man's eyes, content in Austria with little responsibility, little training, and the prospect of going home, was extinguished.
Charlie knew Mabs had already known about the Pacific from Speirs, and she herself had already heard from Floyd, but Boo, Henry, and Autumn all looked crestfallen. It was a rude awakening from the fairy tale that had been their time in Austria up to this point.
Speirs dismissed the men soon after that and advised them to rest up and get a good night's sleep ahead of training tomorrow. No more parties were to be held in the hotel basement, it seemed, and significantly less fraternising for those among the men who had been spending their nights anywhere but their own beds.
Charlie and Floyd found each other in the crowd of men heading back to the hotel with little effort and gave each other similar, sad smiles. They'd both known already, so there was little to discuss, but it was still sad. More than sad. Charlie wasn't even sure what the word was. She felt a cold sense of dread in her stomach every time she thought about the Pacific, and a leaden weight was settling into her stomach now as she realised that the dream she'd been living for the past month was coming to an end in its own way. No longer would she be able to spend most of her days with Floyd - he'd be getting to bed late and waking up early and training all day long. No more sitting watching the sun set over the lake or kissing in each other's rooms all afternoon or going on walks simply to have an excuse not to say goodnight just yet.
The thought of experiencing all of this beauty without Floyd by her side made it dull a little bit, as though the vibrancy of the colours had been turned down somehow.
Floyd wrapped an arm around her shoulders, perhaps sensing her turmoil, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. In return, she turned her face and reached up to kiss his neck just above his collar.
He sighed a smile. "Last night of freedom," he said, resting his cheek on her head as they walked.
"Kind of," Charlie replied. "You still have to be ready to train at 0600. What time will you wake up?"
"0530. Gives me time to get dressed and head to the training field."
Charlie breathed a laugh. Oh, to be a man.
"What time do you work tomorrow?" Floyd asked next.
"0900."
Now it was his turn to laugh. "Must be nice."
"It is."
He didn't ask her to stay the night, or ask to stay the night in her room, but she almost wanted him to. If he asked her now would she say yes? They were going to the Pacific and no one knew when. Training was starting up again tomorrow, yes, but they could be redeployed the day after that. Any moment could mark the end to their very brief life in freedom.
Up to now, they'd only been playing at having a life together. Going on dates and taking walks and visiting each other at work. These things didn't exist in war, and wouldn't exist again after Austria until the war in the Pacific ended.
Would she regret not spending even just one night with him? Would she regret letting her upbringing and the expectation of her to marry for money come between her and the deepest wish of her soul, which was to give all of herself to Floyd, entirely, and have him in return?
The thought of it was scary. But it was exhilarating, too. Exciting. What would it be like to be entirely vulnerable with him? To show him the depth of her trust, of her love?
Charlie called out her congratulations to Shifty as they passed him inside the hotel, him heading down to the basement and them up to Floyd's floor. When Shifty turned with a smile to thank her she untangled herself from Floyd and ran over to give him a hug, just in case she didn't manage to find him before he left, and when she stood back from him she smiled.
"No one deserves this more," she told him quietly, so no one would overhear. "You know that, don't you?"
Shifty hemmed and hawed, as she'd expected him to, but she would hear none of it.
"No, they don't," she told him firmly. "You've been through everything with this company, and been one of its greatest assets. And greatest friends," she added with a warm smile. "I'll miss you an awful lot, but I'm glad you're getting to go home."
"Thank you, Charlie," Shifty said, finally realising she wouldn't be convinced away from her assertions. "I'll miss you an awful lot, too, and I hope you know that."
"I do," she assured him. "Will I see you before you go?"
"Cap'n Speirs said paperwork'll probably take a couple days. Now, I'll find you to let you know when I'm goin', and I won't leave without saying goodbye."
Charlie smiled, feeling a familiar ache in her throat and forcing it down because this wasn't goodbye, not yet. They had a few days more, and he wouldn't be training with the rest of the company, so they certainly had time.
"Good," Charlie declared.
Shifty gave her a nod and was then pulled into a conversation with Chuck and Christenson, so Charlie made her exit.
She returned to Floyd's side and they continued on their way up to his room, finding themselves alone now that they'd left the other enlisted men behind. Charlie didn't know where the other nurses were - Mabs, she was sure, had stayed with Speirs, and probably Autumn had gone down to the basement with Lieb, and maybe Boo with George - but she didn't mind all that much that the hallways were quiet. It made it easy to imagine that she and Floyd were just a couple on vacation heading back to their room after a day at the pool, and that when they left Austria it would be to return to their shared home back in the States. In Kokomo, maybe, where he came from, or Lancaster if he wanted to move. Or maybe somewhere else entirely. But wherever it was, it would be theirs, and that would make it perfect.
They found his room empty when he unlocked it and pulled it open. Indeed, Don was rarely ever in here these days. He kept his pack in here, just in case any of the officers did a check for fraternisation, but all of them knew the officers wouldn't; none of them had been especially secret with their relationships, except maybe Mabs and Speirs, and the officers likely knew about all of them. But even if they didn't, why should they care? If nothing else, surely they had earned for themselves this one small shred of happiness. It would be short lived, after all. Why shouldn't they get to indulge in it even just for now?
As Floyd turned to shut and lock the door to the room, Charlie wrapped both of her arms around him from behind and rested her cheek on the centre of his back. She sighed loudly and smiled when he laughed.
"What? You got better places to be?" he asked, covering her hands with his and turning to lead them both to his bed.
"Maybe."
He turned and picked her up, grinning when she laughed, and said, "Then I better make this worth your while, huh?"
"Guess so," Charlie agreed, grinning right back at him.
Once he'd lain her down on the bed, she puckered her lips and tapped them with her pointer finger.
He was quick to fulfil her request.
"Again," she implored him when he pulled back. And, again, he was more than happy to grant her wish.
At some point or other during their endless stream of kisses they'd ended up tangled together, legs and arms knotted around each other so that neither was sure where they ended and the other began.
And it just felt right. Nothing had ever felt more right than being like this with him. It was the natural order of things, and everything that wasn't this only existed in order to allow for this to happen.
They pulled back for air and kept close, drinking in each other's breath like the first drop of water after being stranded in a desert, and Charlie's eyes fluttered open. She watched the flickering of Floyd's eyelids as his eyes moved beneath them and smiled, because she was full of so much love for him she felt she could hardly breathe.
"Can I stay the night?" she whispered into their fragile silence, and watched, entranced, as his eyes opened and a brilliant smile spread across his face.
He leaned closer until their noses were hooked together. This close, his eyes were like endless pools of chocolate.
"Yes," he whispered in reply.
***
A/N:
and thus we reach 100 chapters!!! pure madness. thank you so much for the votes and the comments and messages, they fill my heart with so much joy!!! <3