'Here's your coffee, I hope you slept well?'.
Matty walked into the bedroom, already dressed and far more awake than I was, as he'd just got back from the gym. I think it was his way of keeping his mind off of things.
'Thank you, you didn't have to do that'. I said in a soft yet half asleep voice.
'I know but I was up and about anyway' he replied, before heading back downstairs.
Sleeping these days was weird. My whole life had changed so much in such a short space of time. I spent over ten years sleeping next to the person I fully believed I would spend the rest of my life with, and now he's sleeping on the sofa and I'm laying here excited about when I will next see Blaine, while also worrying about Matty. It was the end of an era, it was like I was grieving but celebrating something else at the same time, all on my own.
Blaine messaged me 'good morning my beautiful girl💜!'
I loved these mornings texts, I was never one for relying on someone to make me happy and nor did I want to let that happen to me, but it just put me in a great mood for the rest of the day.
I enjoyed my coffee in bed while messaging with Blaine, all we could talk about was me coming to stay.
'What time are you coming over 😍?!' He asked excitedly.
'Well, I'll be going to town to get my nails done, then I'll head over to the station, I'll get to you for about 3 if okay?🧡'. I replied.
'Okay - let me know when you're 5 minutes away and I'll head to the station to meet you💜' he said.
I got up, put on some music, and instantly forgot that it was now middle of autumn and very cold outside of the covers!
I grabbed my dressing gown to put on while I decided on what to wear. I wanted to be warm but I also wanted to look cute for Blaine everytime I saw him.
I put on a black skirt with some tights, and my favourite black jumper/top with the white collar, some tights and my platform converse.
I packed the last few bits to take with me, and left it in my room before heading out to town to get my nails done.
Thinking about it, I'm not sure how Matty wasn't questioning if I was going to meet someone, I'd never had my nails done before!
I got to town and as I was greeted straight away by the lady in the new nail shop, I was seated and shown a selection of gorgeous colours and patterns.
I opted for black tip nails with one finger on each hand painted a nice silver.
They looked amazing! A little longer than I would have opted for but they were very insistent on having a longer length. I couldn't stop looking at them!
I grabbed a coffee from the local bakery and headed home.
'So...let's see them!' Blaine messaged me.
I'd only be seeing him in a few hours but I loved that he took interest in these little details.
I sent him a picture and he responded 'WOW! They are so nice! They look dangerous 😂 but so good! 😍'.
He wasn't wrong - they could probably do some damage!
I got home and grabbed my suitcase, then Matty arrived back from wherever he'd been just as I was closing the door.
'Do you want a lift to the station?' He asked.
'No don't worry, I was just going to wait outside with my coffee and order an Uber, but thank you' I didn't feel right about him giving me a lift especially when I knew where I was really going and he didn't.
'No don't be silly, I haven't got anything to do right now so I may as well, saves you some money too, here let me help you with your stuff' he insisted.
The guilty feeling was coming back ten fold and my coffee wasn't mixing well with it. I felt sick, nervous, excited and horrible all at once.
I opened the car door and got in.
'The nails look nice, really nice!' He said as he examined my fingers on my coffee cup.
'Thank you, they're a bit longer than I'm used to so it's tricky doing certain things, even doing my make up is difficult' I replied.
'I bet' he laughed.
He put music on and there were some awkward silences.
'So have you got anything planned while you're seeing Beth or are you guys just going to chill?'. He was curious.
'Nothing planned and I don't have a lot of money so I'll probably just go along with whatever she wants to do'.
We pulled up at the station and both got out. He went straight to the boot and got my bag out for me.
'Have fun, be safe and let me know when you get there safely okay?' ...
'Of course' I said.
We hugged for a while and then I made my way over to the stairs leading to the station. We waved to each other as he drove past, and then I got a phone call from my friend who lives round the corner from me.
She was ranting about her ex for a good half an hour by which point I'd realise how much time had passed and I was meant to be on my way to Blaine's. I kept trying to end the conversation but she kept going.
It was getting closer to 4pm now and I wasn't about to waste anymore time. So I pulled my suitcase back down the stairs and hopped into a cab. 'How much to Birdview Lane?' I asked the driver.
'About £25' he replied. I was prepared to do that, it cost that much to go from my house to Blaine's so although a train would have been FAR cheaper, I didn't want to wait any longer.
The taxi pulled up outside and he wasn't waiting by the door like usual. Although he probably fell asleep bored of waiting for me when I was meant to be there about an hour ago.
Then I got a message on my phone just as I was about to pay the driver.
'Is that a cab I hear? With you in it? 🥹' it read.
'Yup! I'M HERRRRRE!' I replied.
I got out and pulled the suitcase from the boot. And when I turned around, there he was. At his door like usual, and trying to stop Elsie from escaping.
I knew he was happy to see me, the smile on his face gave it away. But Elsie was wagging her tail like crazy and trying to escape to get to me.
I got in and once he shut the door, they basically had to fight each other for my attention! She was jumping up and barking and just so excitable!
'ELSIE!' Blaine shouted.
'This is MY GIRL and she's come to see ME, wait your turn' he laughed.
He was so cute when he did that little laugh at the end.
He grabbed my suitcase and started carrying it upstairs.
'Jesus - and you staying here forever?' He joked.
'I've got a backpack on me too' I laughed.
We got to his room and he dropped the suitcase lightly.
I took the backpack off and put it next to the suitcase. He got onto the bed and pulled me on top of him straight away and wouldn't let go.
'I get my girl for 3 whole nights' he said as he squeezed me tight and smothered me with kisses.
I was just so happy, right now, in this moment.
It was everything.
I messaged Matty to let him know I'd got to my friends safely, then put my phone to the side.
'Right, it's practically dinner time now' Blaine said.
'So first things first, I'm cooking for us if that's okay?'.
I loved watching him cook.
We went straight downstairs and he put some chicken on.
'Chicken fajita wraps?' He asked.
'That's sounds good to me!' I said.
I watched him and was in awe the entire time.
He got distracted a few times by his phone, and instantly my mind went to Nicole.
I could tell by his facial expression - I remembered from that night at the pub when she wouldn't stop messaging and calling him.
But I tried not to let my brain go there and ruin our time together.
We headed upstairs with our food and put a funny show on to watch whilst we ate.
When we finished our food, Blaine took our plates down, then decided to take a shower.
He took much longer than I thought he would, and again I just hoped he wasn't using it as an opportunity to message Nicole, as I knew he didn't like doing it in front of me.
Elsie came running in while he showered and she made the best of the alone time she had with me. She snuggled up to me and then demanded belly rubs, which I was happy to give her. She would lick my hand repeatedly, almost like she was thanking me.
She was the loveliest dog I'd ever met and when Blaine came in from having his shower, he stood there in his towel and he looked at her for a while.
'EXCUSE ME' he said to her.
'Are you trying to steal my girl?'.
Elsie seemed totally unfazed by this and it was so funny to watch them.
He leant over to try and get to me but she growled at him.
He was completely shocked and so was I, that had never happened before. He then went to kiss me and her growl became even louder, she then sat up and started barking at him.
Was she being protective of me?
Either way, we were speechless. Blaine felt offended while I felt honoured!
He got changed and climbed onto the bed. Elsie left the room not too long after and we found ourselves being able to kiss and cuddle without her stopping him.
'Shall we watch a movie?' He said.
We chose a film, and it was so weird. It was a horror, and because it was nighttime, it was just that little bit more scary. It was totally odd but it was one of those movies that was okay, until the end ruins it completely.
It was about 11pm now and Elsie hadn't been for her walk.
'BLAINE!!'
Blaine's mum yelled from her room.
'WHAT?!' He yelled back.
'YOU NEED TO TAKE ELSIE OUT'.
'Eurgh fine' he muttered quietly.
'Do you want me to come?' I said.
'No it's cold! You stay in bed and keep it warm for us' he replied.
Once he left, I checked my phone and responded to Matty. I hadn't replied since I messaged him to say I got to my friends safely. I did say I wouldn't be messaging as much but he was seeing Joe and having a takeaway anyway so I knew it wasn't an issue.
I knew why I was on what's app, but why was Blaine? He was gone for a good half hour and he was on what's app the entire time. Did he call
Nicole? Did she call him?. I needed to stop worrying about this and quick.
He got back, took his jacket off and climbed into bed, he snuggled up right next to me to get warm, his body was so cold.
We snuggled for a good few minutes before putting something on to fall asleep to.
It was now midnight but neither of us were that tired, it was just dark and I think the fresh air woke him up a bit. Or at the least it woke something up, I felt it from behind me.
He started kissing my neck, then he whispered 'that perfume, it sends me wild, you send me wild'.
I was weak, once again. Anything I was worried about, just disappeared.
He gently moved my hair away from my neck and started to kiss the other side.
It was turning me on, so much that I turned around and put my hand straight down his shorts.
The tension was getting stronger and stronger. We carried on kissing and he copied me by sliding his hand down my shorts.
'Mmm you're so wet!' He whispered strongly.
'Can you blame me?' I asked.
He turned the. Tv off and with just the slight bit of purple light under his desk showing, it was the perfect setting.
He climbed on top and slid straight inside me.
'Mmmm' I made that noise without a thought.
'Fuck, I forget how tight you are' he mumbled.
'Oh yeah?' I responded.
'Yeah, you feel so fucking good' he stated.
We didn't last long. It was amazing like always. But this was getting so much more than just sex, or friends with benefits. I was starting to feel things and it was so scary but so good.
He had my heart in the palm of his hands, and he could crush it and destroy it in a second.
Once we finished, he laid back down and put his arm around me. I snuggled into his chest and he stroked my hair for a while.
'That was amazing' he said as he kissed my forehead.
'It really was, it always is' I replied.
It went quiet for a few seconds. Then he lightly pulled my face up to his, and we kissed passionately.
We continued kissing and then he stopped.
'I love you'
There it was. Those three words that just made my entire world stop. The feeling was even better than I imagined, and I was just so full of happiness.
There's was a silence.
'Wait, what did you just say?'
I heard it but I didn't hear it, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't imagining it.
'Did you say what I think you just said?' I asked.
'Yes, and you don't have to say it back, I just wanted to tell you, I wanted you to know, I love you'. He slowly moved my side fridge away and just looked at me like nothing else mattered.
I had no idea how to feel in that moment.
I was so happy that he'd said it, that he was actually in love with me. And although I didn't feel ready to say it, I said it back.
'I love you too'. I told him.
'Really?' He responded.
'Yes, really' I assured him.
Then we kissed some more and fell asleep in each other's arms.
I felt so safe, secure, content.
But I couldn't help but feel that wasn't the right time for me to say it back. But I definitely knew it was heading that way.
The morning came and I always woke up before Blaine.
'Hello gorgeous girl that I love' he sounded half asleep but it was so sweet.
'Good morning handsome boy that I love' it wasn't hard to say, even if I felt like I could have waited to say it.
'You're so damn beautiful' he said as he got lost in my eyes and held my face in his hand.
I blushed like usual, it's not that I didn't like it, I just didn't believe that I was.
'Coffee?' He said as he stretched and sat up.
'Coffee' I nodded.
He grabbed his phone and headed downstairs.
He always took his phone with him.
It was 8am here which means it was very late at night/early hours of the morning where Nicole was.
I heard him on the phone and just by the tone, I could tell it was here.
Twenty minutes and passed and I could still hear him.
'Stop it please, you know I'm here for you, we're not together but I'm still your friend'. I heard him say in a stressed but calm manner.
I couldn't hear what she was saying but she was crying and sounding hysterical. Judging by Blaine's reaction, it sounded like it was a regular occurrence.
There was more of her sounding very irrational and hysterical, and him sounding stressed and like he was trying to calm her down.
I started packing my bag, this was the last thing I wanted. I knew I was getting in the way of something or that she'd always be there and I wasn't going to be able to handle it.
Blaine came upstairs with our coffee's.
'I'm sorry, Natalie called and was being hysterical' he explained.
'I thought it was' I said.
I continued packing, my heart was racing and I had that horrible heart in stomach feeling. This is not how it was supposed to be at all.
'What are you doing? Are you leaving already?' He joked.
'Yes, I am actually'. I said.
'What? Why?' He looked like a really sad puppy and in that split second that I looked at him, I felt awful.
Maybe I was overreacting.
I stopped what I was doing.
'I'm only joking' I assured him.
Except I wasn't, I was ready to go. But maybe it was just me being silly and worrying more than I should have.
We got dressed and took Elsie for a walk and got a coffee on the way, then we stopped by a shop window and could see our reflection quite well in this particular one. 'Would you look at that? That's my favourite reflection right there'. He said charmingly. The day seemed to go by pretty fast. We sat and had a coffee and a chat with his mum, then we took a walk to the shop to get some snacks and drinks.
We decided on a movie and ordered a takeaway. The movie was actually pretty funny and we were in such a good yet silly mood and were joking about.
Then his phone rang. And it rang again, and again, then messages non stop.
I knew it was Nicole without even having to ask.
'Why are you ringing me non stop?'
Blaine said as he answered the phone.
'What the fuck?! You don't fucking care Blaine, I'm so done with your shit' he was quick to turn the volume on his phone down.
What was he hiding?
'Woah, calm down Nicole, what's gotten into you?' He said.
'I'm being fucking followed home from work, I'm so scared and you just don't care'.
Her tone was so over the top, and I didn't believe what she was saying for a second, because if she was that scared, she'd phone someone who could actually help her.
'Nicole what do you want me to do about it? I'm on the other side of the world, call your mum or the police if you're worried, I can't help you!' He responded.
This went on for a good ten minutes and she still continued to shout and scream at him.
Was this always going to be an issue? Would she always have some kind of hold over him?
Once the novelty wears off, of us having this new wild, passionate and strong connection, would he go back to her?