She's become an addiction. Usually, you show up at the wirsthaus a few times a week and have her meet you in one of the private rooms upstairs when she goes on break. The heavy breathing, the profanities and moans, the syrupy sounds of her dripping cunt - all of it is covered by the ruckus of the pub below, and you take full advantage.
But it's been over a month since you've seen her. Working on cracking a cartel smuggling drugs over the boarder has kept you busy day and night for weeks on end now. Because the narcotics are coming from the east, you've had to tread carefully until you could figure out who's at the top. Pissing off a Russian oligarch is not desirable when trying to maintain political stability, so it's likely to be a while yet before the job ends.
Once in a while, when your target has been sleeping for a couple hours and you've grown tired of listening to his snores, you tune into the hidden microphones at her place. They've been there for over a decade, but she doesn't seem to know. She's almost invariably sleeping by the time you have a moment to switch lines. Not tonight though.
What the fuck?
You think you're so touch starved you're hearing things, but then you realise what it must be.
THE FUCK?! SHE HAS SOMEONE ELSE OVER! THAT LITTLE SLUT!!
The soft whimpers and needy whines that vibrate through your headphones have your nails drawing blood from your palms.
"Yu~ri..."
She knows she's mine! I told her that she's my slut, and that her pretty little cunt belongs to me!
"Yuri..."
Thoughts crash through your mind with rage, leaving you deaf to her pitiful cries.
"Yuri!" she mewls again between slurred expletives and rapid, shallow breaths.
None of it registers until she's voicing her fantasies, begging you to fuck her right as she reaches her high, and you finally realize she's touching herself to the thought of you.
You try to stay calm. You're at work after all. But you can't bring yourself to switch back to the target. You're already painfully hard. While fury was coursing through your veins at the thought of her with someone else, it seems your dick was pulsing with desire long before you knew what she was really doing. Your hand finds its way down your pants of its own volition - just for a little relief.
Then, she's at it again.
She's always up for a couple rounds. You know you shouldn't be surprised. You know you shouldn't still be listening. You know you shouldn't be stroking your cock in the office. You know you shouldn't have her name on your tongue. You know you shouldn't want her at all.
But it's too late to care about any of that. You know exactly how much quicker she cums the second time. You know exactly how divine it feels to be inside her. You know exactly how she squeezes you the closer she gets to the edge. You know exactly when she's about to fall off that cliff. And you know exactly how to push yourself into freefall with her.
Breath ragged, mind hazy, and cum all up the front of your t-shirt, it's a few minutes before you come back down to Earth, and when you finally do, the sound you hear on the other end isn't what you expected.
Is she sniffling? No... She's crying...
"I always fall for the worst men... He's so nice to his colleagues and his sister... why is he so mean to me? All I wanted to be the reason for that smile... just once..."
The rustle of sheets adds a buzz over the line, preventing you from hearing your own heart crack.
"Why do I even like him so much when I know he was just using me? Now he can't even be bothered to use me for intel... It's not fair... why... why am I so dumb?"
Then, she's sobbing into her pillow.
And there's nothing you can do but clean yourself up with a handkerchief and go back to work.
What should I take to Yor's this time? I already took the Hungarian wine. Maybe I should take the Russian vodka instead. Yeah, two months in Russia is more believable than two months anywhere else for a "diplomat."
It's been so long working this mission that you genuinely forgot Yor is married. The effort it takes to prevent yourself from slitting Loid's throat the moment he opens the door is more than enough to drive you to drink. Luckily for you, the "lovey-dovey couple" seem to be in the mood for cocktails as well. Unfortunately, Loid also happens to be a master mixologist, so just like his stupid appetizers, his blends are superb.
Worse still, you forgot how insistent your sister becomes when she's inebriated.
"Shooooo, how's it goin' wiff duh girl next door, hmmmmmmm?" she slurs and downs the other half of her first drink.
"It's not," you reply evenly and follow her lead, emptying the glass in one go.
"Whadya mean? You wike her. She wikes you. So... You must be dating!" Her matter-of-fact tone would be endearing if it were any other topic.
"Nope. Don't like her," you manage to pronounce clearly despite your tongue starting to feel like mud.
"Nononononoo Yuurriii. You depinetly wike her! I shaw you!"
"Shaw me where?!" you ask in a sudden panic.
"At duh paaaaaark. Dat day you dropped her. 'member?"
With a sigh of relief you mumble, "Oh wight...", then pick up your glass and attempt to drink its non-existent contents.
"Shooooooooooo! How's it goinggg????" she demands and pokes your cheek repeatedly.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here."
"Oh, pewfect! I'll go get her!" Yor squeals in delight as she rises and wobbles towards the door.
"She's not home," you mutter and lay your head on the table.
"She's at work, Yor," Loid coaxes her gently into returning to her seat.
You pick yourself up and glare across the table. "Whadduhyouknow?!"
"Well, she's over here all the time, so I know her work schedule. I also know she's been missing you. Why didn't you ever call her?" His tone isn't scolding, which makes it even worse. He's being sincere, as if he cares about your happiness like he cares for your sister's.
"Why would I!" you shout angrily and grab the vodka from the bar cart, topping up the glass before slamming it down empty again.
"Because you should cherish the people who care for you while they're still in your life... You never know when that chance will disappear..."
"Awwwwwwww~ Woid, do you chewish meeee?" your sister asks with round doe eyes as she throws her arms around his neck.
You can't believe what you're seeing. Yor looks genuinely comfortable around him now, and the two are clearly much more affectionate than before. He pets her and kisses her forehead, murmuring his agreement so softly that you can't hear it. But you see it. His eyes are stained with adoration for her.
It makes you sick. This is by far the worst. This is what you get for not killing him six months ago. This is your punishment for not taking a stance back then. This is your fault.
From the depths of your soul you hate him, and yet you can't bring yourself to say it. The alcohol in your system should let you speak your mind, yet the words just won't come out. Instead, you find yourself making excuses, telling them you're tired and bidding them goodnight.
Though you try to convince yourself that you're walking back to the dorms and the route that passes by the wirsthaus just happens to be the fastest, it's harder to believe your own lies when you're sloshed. You can't supress the voices in your head that nag at each thought meant to deceive yourself.
I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous. I'mnot jealous! I'mnotjealous!!! I'mnotjealousI'mnotjealous!!!!! I'mnotjealousI'mnotjealousI'mjealousI'mjealousI'mjealousI'mjealous!!!
"There you are!!" you shout and wrap yourself around her from behind, nuzzling into her neck and squeezing her tight.
"Mr. Briar, I'm working! What are you doing?" she chides.
"I hate that Loidy. He's just terrible!"
If your face wasn't buried in the soft skin of her neck, you wouldn't have heard her mutter under her breath, "Disappear for neigh on two months and when you finally show up, you're wasted and whining about him. God so help me, Briar..."
"Hey, since when are you two a thing? I thought you were in love with me, babe!"
You hadn't noticed, but she happens to be serving a table of enlisted men.
"Rich, you think all of them like you just cause smiling is their job!" one of them jeers while the rest laugh heartily.
Lifting your head and narrowing your eyes at your subordinate you growl, "If you touch her, private, I'll kill you."
"There, there, Mr. Briar. No killing your fellow officers," she scolds over her shoulder where you rest your chin and continue to glare at the one trying to steal her from you.
"They aren't officers! I'm an officer! They're enlisted men. How do you not know the difference!" you protest like a child complaining of being called the same age when there's only a few months' gap.
Ignoring you entirely, she turns her attention back to them and adds, "And we're not a thing. He's just like this because I'm friends with his sister."
"Oh-ho! You better watch out then! If he ends up liking you half an ounce as much as he likes her, you'll never get rid of him!"
Boisterous laughter rings around the table at this comment.
"Shut it, corporal!" you snap. "And what do you mean we're not a thing? Aren't we a thing? You're so mean, fräulein. You're such a tease!" you whine and cuddle into her neck again.
"I'm mean?!"
"The lieutenant is always a handful when he drinks. You need us to look after him for you, doll?" you vaguely hear one of them ask her.
"Thanks, but I'll manage. Do excuse me though, gentlemen. I need to set this one straight."
"Owww that's my ear! That's my ear! That's my ear!! Ow ow owowow ow!!!! Where are we going? Ow ow ow!!"
"Somewhere where you can cool off, lieutenant," she shouts back at you.
"I'm not hot! If you're cold, you can have my jacket!"
"Oh boy... Mmph! Yuri! What are you doing! Let go!! You can't just pull me into your lap in the middle of the pub at some random guests' table!! Gosh, I'm so sorry!" she calls to the strangers across from her.
Nuzzling into her chest is so soft and comforting that you don't even think twice as your arms lock around her waist.
"You know, Loidy is the worst. He's so awful," you pout.
"What's he done this time?" Her exasperated tone is lost in the din of the pub.
"Nothing!"
"Nothing...?"
"Nothing! And that's the problem!!"
"Is it now?"
"It's terrible. He's perfect! I can't find anything wrong with him! Nothing at all!!"
"Why is that bad? Don't you want Yor to be with a good man?"
"But you know what that means?"
"What?"
"It means Yor will never be mine again... She'll never have room in her heart for me. It means I've lost her. Forever."
When you raise your face from her chest, she looks blurry. The longer you search for her eyes the hazier she appears. You can just barely feel her fingers running through your hair in your drunken stupor.
"Oh, Yuri. You don't need to cry. Yor loves you so much. You're her pride and joy. Just because she's married doesn't mean she's going to stop loving you..."
"It does! That's exactly what it means. It means that wretched Loidy will get all of her love and affection, and she'll forget all about me!" you wail and bury yourself against her again.
She pets you gently for a long while, soothing your shaking and holding you close. At some point, you hear her whisper next to your ear, "Silly boy, that's not how love works."
Looking up into her eyes, you find none of the hostility that was there when you arrived.
"What do you mean?"
"Just because you fall in love with someone doesn't mean you lose the space in your heart for the other people you've always loved."
"It doesn't?"
"It doesn't. Did your mom stop loving Yor when you were born?" she asks softly.
"Mmmm... I guess not..."
"And did you stop loving Yor when you were dating your last girlfriend?" she coaxes again.
"I've never had a girlfriend. I never will. I don't have time for that shit," you insist before rubbing your damp cheeks on her uniform and squeezing her waist tighter.
With a sigh you only decipher from the exaggerated rise and fall of her chest under your head, she continues, "Look. I promise Yor will always love you, Yuri. No matter how many people are in her life. Whether she loves Loid or Anya or her own baby one day, she will always love you as much as she has since the beginning. Just like your body grew into an adult to accommodate your age, a heart will grow to make room for love. Yor will always love her baby brother."
"You think?"
"I know for a fact, Yuri, so you can relax. You'll always be loved."
A hum escapes you as her fingers lace through your long tresses over and over.
You wake to find yourself back in the dorms, the feeling of her hand stroking your cheek and her fingers in your hair long gone, instead replaced by the sensation of a hard bed and a throbbing headache.
When you stumble into the common room, one of the men from last night greets you.
"Oh, finally up are we, sir?"
"What happened..." you wonder aloud as you flop onto the sofa.
"You got wasted and were a miserable fucker. You wouldn't leave that poor girl alone all night. You passed out on her and when we tried to get you off so she could go back to work, you started threatening to execute anyone who came near you two. It took four of us to wrangle you out of there, and then you kept shouting her name all the way home."
"Oh god..."
"You'll be lucky if she ever looks twice at you again, man. You were a mess."
"Do you think she hates me?"
"If she doesn't, you better hold onto her. I can't imagine many women would put up with your behaviour."