✿
"MISS SINCLAIR!"
Closing her eyes, Josie briefly paused in her step, preparing herself to face Antony Bridgerton. That morning, she had planned to go for a stroll away from everyone so she could think about what to do.
And now Antony was here.
So, Josie turned with a welcoming smile on her face. "Josie, Antony."
"Josie," Antony agreed, eyes falling to the balcony of the household as she turned to briefly see Violet and Edward together, supervising them. "Forgive me, Josie. Perhaps I could join you for your morning stroll?"
Josie tried to suppress her sigh, but she could feel the pressure of Edward's stare. "Very well," said Josie, accepting Antony's arm. "I suppose the country is tedious alone."
"Not a fan of the countryside?" Anthony questioned as they started to walk.
"There's not much to do," Josie confessed. "Not now, at least. Ever since that night, I can't seem to find the same joy as I once had in the country. It is a shame as I did adore the Sinclair manor."
More than anything, Josie hated talking about the night her parents died. The whole time was nothing but darkness to Josie that she would rather ignore and she knew her siblings felt the same too.
"I do know what you mean," Antony admitted.
Josie smiled sadly, knowing Antony must be thinking of his father. Even though Josie had been young, she had remembered that the family had become closer, supporting the Bridgerton's as much as they could with the abrupt loss. Knowing how Antony had felt, Edward had not hesitated to support the young man, helping guide him through his new duty of being the viscount, but also with facing grief too.
"I have always looked up to Edward as a brother," said Antony, thinking about the dark period of time. "He has helped me in more ways than I dare to confess, Josie, so I owe him more than just my gratitude."
Josie's eyes remained on the grounds of the house as they walked around the large home. Of course, Josie had known their stroll would result in the difficult conversation that Josie had hoped to avoid for as long as possible — at least until she had a plan.
"Perhaps a gift basket might do the trick," Josie suggested.
Antony's lips twitched in amusement. "I do believe you're the first — hold on, the second if you can believe it — lady, who sees a marriage with me as a burden. Do you despise me that much, Josie?"
Now, Josie turned to look at him. "Antony, I do like you," she confessed. "But...accepting your hand would depend on what you expect from me."
"You will be the Viscountess," Antony told her. "That, I have no doubt you can't do as the Sinclair's are already a respectable family within the ton. But, we must also have children as is expected."
One day, Josie would be happy enough to have a few children, but not when she was still so young with the world to explore. If she could break tradition, then Josie would want nothing more than to show her children the world too. As a Viscountness — as Antony's wife — Josie would not likely travel again.
"Antony, I want to make my brother happy," said Josie. "But it shouldn't be at the cost of my own happiness too."
"I have learnt that duty comes first," Antony told her. "Happiness is always last."
Josie tried not to flinch at the words. Of course, she wanted to ask Antony about her freedom to travel if they were to marry, but Josie knew the answer. There was no point fighting a battle that Josie would lose.
"I will give you some time to think, Josie," Antony offered her. "I plan to return to London engaged, so if I do not have your answer soon, then I will propose to Miss Edwina."
The words sunk deep into Josie's stomach, where it became a twisted knot. She had a matter of days to figure something out before she had no choice but to accept her fate.
After her stroll, Josie had sat outside alone, thinking over everything. In her mind, she imagined a world where no lady was forced to marry unless they wanted to; a world where women could simply do what they wanted without the approval of a male.
Though, marrying Antony Bridgerton would not be a complete disaster. While he was handsome (yes, Josie could admire him), there was also the certainty that no love would be expected. It was a perfect match between two socially high-class families that had been speculated since Josie had been born. Marrying Antony, though, left a frown on Josie's face.
Marrying Antony was like marrying Freddie and that made Josie shiver.
If she denied Antony, it would be a betrayal to two families.
If she married Antony, Josie would truly be trapped.
Josie's eyes flickered up to the blue sky, finding her heartache as she thought about another with the feelings remaining smothered. All Josie wanted was to go back to Greece.
✿
1814 — GREECE
On the final day in Greece, Josie tried to ignore her heartbreak. Leaving the country come to the morning would most likely break Josie, but she would not let it ruin the last precious time she had.
Josie had spent the start of it shopping for gifts to take back for her nieces and nephew, as well as something for Clara and Edward too. The children had surprisingly been easy, but now Josie had visited a small Greek jeweller, finding a necklace for Clara.
"Freddie, do you think Clara would like this?" Josie asked.
Freddie sighed, tired from their shopping trip now. "How would I know?"
"My sisters and mother would like that piece," Colin said, stepping forward to get a better look at the sparkling necklace. "I believe Lady Sinclair would love it, Josie."
Josie smiled at the shopkeeper, speaking in Greek as she made her selection. Though, as she waited, her eyes had fallen on the rest of the collection. Josie was not fond of jewellery, and she preferred it to be as simple and as light as possible. Though, her gaze now focused on a white gold ring that was like vines with a diamond that was a glorious shade of violet-blue.
But Josie did not want to take a piece of Greece home with her; if she did, then it was like accepting that she would never come back.
That evening, the three had attended a local ball. With the theme of the last night, Josie had made an effort that Edward would be proud of. Josie had a sparkling blue dress that matched the stars with no shawl with the evening air still warm.
In Greece, the balls were outside the majority of the time. Athens came to life as Josie had been quick to pick up their traditions, falling into step easy when a gentleman asked her to dance. There was a smile on her face, finding the balls far more enjoyable than the ones at home.
Close by, Freddie had found a beautiful girl to dance with while chaperoning Josie still. However, as she twirled between partners, her hand found Colin's golden one. Looking up, Josie met his blue irises which caused her breathing to momentarily stop.
"One dance with me?" Colin asked, perhaps a little bashfully.
At that, Josie frowned, but she could not ignore Colin's hand on her lower back or the warmth of his touch on her hand.
"Humour me and pretend to like me, Josie," said Colin. "Just for one night?"
"That sounds like a challenge," Josie confessed.
"It's a challenge I've been facing for years now," Colin told her. "Is that a yes, Josie?"
"Just for tonight," Josie stated. "But do remember, come to the end of the night, that I will still dislike you."
"And what if I change your mind?" Colin challenged.
"That is impossible," Josie insisted. "I will always dislike you, Colin Bridgerton."
Colin tried to hide his smile, finding her stubbornness amusing.
So, Josie let Colin Bridgerton lead as they danced to the string piece. Even though she was pretending, Josie felt her heart pound with each step they took. Colin held her stare, never breaking it as if he was instigating the challenge between them.
"Josie," said Colin after a moment.
"Yeah?" Josie questioned.
"I should have said this earlier," Colin twirled Josie around before her eyes were on him again, seeing how soft his blue irises had become. "You look truly beautiful tonight."
Josie fell quiet, letting the music fill the silence between them. As her eyes fell downwards, there was a bright flush on her cheeks as the two carried on dancing. But, even with the silence, one dance turned into a few until the night was nearing its end.
As they returned to their hotel with her arm looped with Freddie's, Josie found her heart starting to ache with the thought of the morning. Instead of sleeping, Josie had ventured to the roof of the hotel, sitting on the edge of the building as she watched the city around her.
Fortunately, Josie still had a journey ahead of her before she returned home to London, but once she returned, all her freedom would be gone. Balls would no longer be fun — they will be focused on finding a husband. The city would be boring and dull compared to the rest of the world. Worst of all, Josie would be expected to be someone she was not.
"Josie?" Colin questioned, causing Josie to stiffen. "What are you doing up here alone?"
Colin's flare of anger only sparked Josie's agitation. "What are you doing here?"
Holding up his journal, Colin stepped closer to her. "I came to write."
"Yes, well the spot is taken," Josie told him.
"You should not be up here alone," Colin argued. "Josie, anyone could—"
"I can look after myself, Colin," Josie insisted. "I am not alone now either since you're here, so you might as well sit and join me."
Colin sighed, where Josie knew he was suppressing the brewing argument inside him. Then, finally, he sat down on the ledge of the building next to Josie with his journal on the side, forgotten about.
Josie's head turned back to Athens, staring at the city.
"Do you think I'll ever see it again?" Josie asked.
"I do hope so," Colin replied, watching the quiet city too. "You know, Greece won't be the same without you, Josie."
"I'm sure it will be quieter," Josie told him.
"Yes, perhaps so," Colin agreed with a smile. "There will be peace in not being told what to do or where to go every five minutes. But I will miss seeing the rest of the world through your eyes."
Josie smiled at that, having enjoyed showing Colin the many wonders of Greece. Now, her eyes had fallen on the sky again, watching the stars sparkle.
"At home, we have the same stars as the rest of the world," Josie told him. "But, at home, the stars are not like this. Here, the stars are brilliant."
Colin's head tilted upwards, eyes falling on the stars.
"Don't you think?" Josie encouraged, moving closer to Colin as her arm rose, finger pointing up at the sky. "If you look closely, you can see the constellations. There's Orion, right there. Can you see?"
Josie's head twisted, wanting to see if Colin could see where she was pointing. Yet, to her surprise, his eyes were on her. They were both so close with Josie suddenly conscious of him. Those blues eyes were so gentle and tender, causing Josie's breath to pause.
Enchanted by the moment, Josie found her heart surrendering.
Colin's fingers rose, brushing against her cheek to tuck a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear. His hand lingered, the touch warm and soft, only causing Josie to melt.
Suddenly, Greece was hot as if it was the summer months. The heat had muddled their minds, causing them to act without thinking. Colin's face had lowered with his lips gently pressing against Josie's.
Josie had dreamed of a moment like this since she was a child. Looking up at the stars, Josie had wished that one day Colin Bridgerton would kiss her — that a kiss would mean they were married and in love. Now, Josie was kissing Colin under the stars with her heart sparking back to life again.
"Colin..." Josie whispered his name, breathlessly.
And perhaps it was like a wake up call as Colin broke away from Josie, springing backwards with his eyes wide and frantic. Seeing that, Josie knew it had been a mistake.
"Josie..." Colin panicked. "Miss Sinclair, I truly am sorry. That was not how a true gentleman should have acted."
Josie's eyebrows furrowed together, the mere glimpse of heartbreak overshadowed by her anger. As she blinked, Josie's fists knotted together in her dress.
"This should not have happened," Josie decided, forcing herself to stand as she glared down at Colin, trying to mask her feelings. "It did not happen. Understand? No one can know about this, Colin Bridgerton."
If anyone found out, then Josie would be ruined — shame would fall upon her family.
Hearing his full name, Colin recoiled, knowing she was truly mad.
"The night is over," Josie told him. "I still don't like you, Colin."
But, as Josie had turned to leave, Colin had stood with his hand catching her own. His fingers held onto her hand, the grip tight, but still light too.
"Josie," said Colin as if he was upset. "Why do you hate me?"
All Josie could do was stare at him. As quickly as her heart had started to melt, the ice had come back, where it was now frozen again.
"Goodnight, Colin Bridgerton."
Letting his hand fall, Josie left Colin Bridgerton standing on the rooftop with only the stars to keep him company.
✿
That evening, there was a large dinner with Josie sitting next to Freddie and Eloise with Colin and Benedict opposite the two.
"This room is exceptionally well lit," Benedict announced as Josie paused eating, becoming curious about what he was saying. "Have you noticed, Col? The twinkle of the candles, it is as–It's as if...we sit among the stars!"
"What is wrong with you?" Eloise questioned, amused by her brother.
"I was just telling Benedict how brilliant the stars were in Greece," Colin answered with Josie's face paling at the words, witnessing Colin's eyes meet her own. Holding his stare, their irises were as heavy as the secret that remained between them. "Don't you think, Josie?"
"Truly," Josie barely found her voice, becoming very aware of the attention. "The sky is so bright you can simply see all the constellations."
"How wonderful," Daphne smiled at Josie, but it was the kind of smile that caused Josie to stare down at her dinner plate. To spare the two, Daphne changed the conversation. "Are you enjoying your time here, Miss Edwina?"
"I am, very much," Edwina replied, gracefully. "The buzz of the city is thrilling indeed, but I quite enjoy the peace of the country."
"As do I," Antony agreed. "Though, I dare say it is not quite so peaceful with my entire family in residence."
Edwina chuckled as Josie looked over to see that Edward was focused on his dinner, though she knew her brother was disappointed. It seemed Josie had to make her decision.
"I understand, my lord," said Edwina. "Certainly, I cannot compare my family with your seven brothers and sisters, but my sister and I were known to be a handful growing up too."
With Kate, Josie believed that, but Edwina...
"Mm, I can imagine," Antony agreed.
"But Kate always has had my best interests at heart," Edwina insisted. "She bears a heavy responsibility for our family."
That caused Josie to frown, knowing Edward was the same. Even if Josie hated the thought of marriage, she knew her brother was just trying to look out for her. It was not Edward that Josie should be angry at, but perhaps the world.
Yet, Colin had distracted Josie again as a conversation about Greece had come about.
"Made all the better by the knowledge that I may have been the only Briton to see it in decades," said Colin as Josie glared at him.
"Hold on," Freddie spoke up, amused with his friend. "Were Josie and I not the ones to show you?"
"Don't take credit for our discoveries, Colin," Josie told him. "So that means you were the third Briton to see it in decades, making your discovery irrelevant."
Colin frowned at her, but Benedict moaned before knocking over his wine glass. The man's hands cupped his face with an innocent, apologetic smile on his face that came with a giggle.
"Benedict, dear, you alarm our guests," Violet warned her son.
"It's quite all right, Lady Bridgerton," Kate insisted.
"Perhaps," said Lady Danbury, clinking her wine glass with her knife. "It is time for a toast."
"A good idea," Violet said. "To cheer our guests."
"Or to tend to other pressing matters," Lady Danbury suggested.
There was silence as all eyes fell on Antony as if they were waiting for him to announce something special. Josie found her stomach in knots, not knowing what the best outcome would be. If Antony proposed now, who would it be?
"My—" Kate stumbled on her words. "I believe my sister and I have grown rather weary."
Josie felt exactly the same.
"A toast," Antony called out as he stood up. "Yes."
Down the end of the table, Edward looked tense, not liking the unknown too.
"My sincere gratitude to the Sharmas for joining us," Antony started his speech. "As well as for the Sinclair's, who have become family at this point. It has been splendid having you here to witness what is now my second annual loss at pall mall."
There was laughter at that.
"Not to be repeated, I assure you," Antony continued. "Though, I do believe we're all grateful to not be victim to Miss Sinclair's aim this year."
"There's always next year," Josie added as the chuckling continued.
"And my special gratitude to Miss Edwina," said Antony as Josie shrunk back, a smile falling from her face, but she was lost to what was about to happen. A part of her prayed that Antony would propose to Edwina, but another part did not want him to because of Edward. "It has certainly been a privilege to truly make your acquaintance these past days. In fact, I believe there is a question I would like to ask you."
Josie felt eyes on her, who was looking, she was not sure. Under the table, Josie's hands had curled into fists, but she kept her face expressionless.
But, as she looked over, where her irises were wide, Antony was looking over in her direction. His gaze fell on Josie, searching for an answer that she was too cowardly to give.
Antony's attention fell back to Edwina again. "I should like to, uh...I should like to ask you to please refrain from telling anyone back in London about yesterday's loss. I fear the harm to my reputation would simply be too great."
There was an awkward chuckle with Josie relieved, yet devastated too.
"To the pleasant days ahead."
A rising of glasses followed with words of agreement, but Josie was silent. There was an unspoken tension around the table as Josie focused on her food, needing a solution soon to not just save herself, but their family's reputation too.
✿
As Josie had vanished to bed early with her mind too full, Colin Bridgerton had gone searching for his older brother. Reaching Benedict's room, Colin knocked on the door before opening it.
"Are you still up?" Colin questioned.
Benedict was in his bedroom, still completely high with his shirt undone, and his sleeves rolled up. There was a stench that came with him as Colin's nose curled while entering the bedroom.
"Ugh," said Colin in disgust. "You may wish to bathe before you see Mother in the morning."
"It's magical brother," Benedict's large hands cupped Colin's head before he pressed a kiss to his cheek. "You were right. I've allowed my doubts to plague me for too long." Then, he was pulling Colin toward his painting to see. "The Royal Academy Schools are not the arbiters of taste. The world is!"
Colin scoffed. "You are a fatwit."
"Benedict," Elosie said, entering the bedroom. "Something has apparently arrived for you. A letter from London."
Shocked, and yet hopeful too, Benedict had taken the letter. The two waited as he opened the letter to read it, muttering the words too quickly under his breath.
"I have a place," Benedict announced before he started chuckling in his own joy. "The Royal Schools have accepted me as a student." Then his voice rose with a shout. "I got in!"
"I thought they were not the arbiters of taste?" Colin questioned.
"They must see great promise in my work!" Benedict exclaimed, turning quickly to rush towards the window. "Oh my!"
Opening the window, Benedict's voice rose to a scream for all those back in London to hear. "You shall all bear witness to my talents!"
Eloise had a hand to her head as she cringed, but Colin had been the one to quickly pull him from the window, hushing him. "It's the middle of the night!"
"He will be as insufferable now as you," Eloise decided as Colin returned while Benedict sat by the window giggling.
"Me?" Colin questioned.
"If I must hear one more tale of your extraordinary adventures from Greece..."
"Surely I am not the only one," Colin insisted. "Josie must share her tales more than me."
"Yes, but Josie broke through the standards of society and did as she pleased, so I will happily sit all day and listen to everything she has seen and done," said Eloise. "Though, even with all that, she still had no choice but to return home at a man's say. Tell me, brother, if you loved Greece so much and had the choice to stay, then why did you ever return home?"
"Well..."
"Because Colin's in love," Benedict shouted with another giggle.
"Benedict, will you please shut up," Colin pleaded.
"In love?" Eloise questioned. "With Miss Thompson — Lady Crane — still? I thought your travels banished—"
"They had," Colin answered.
Eloise's eyes narrowed at her brother, head tilting slightly before her irises widened. "You are in love with Josie," said Eloise, completely shocked. "Is that why you came home?"
"Greece wasn't the same without Josie," Colin confessed, sounding shy with even just the thought of confessing his feelings out loud. "After she left, I realised it wasn't just the country that I was in love with."
"Colin, Antony could be proposing any day," Eloise reminded him. "Both Mother and Edward are expecting it."
"I know," Colin said in agitation.
"Then what are you to do?" Eloise demanded. "As much as I love my brother, Josie deserves someone who at least loves her."
"There's nothing to do, Eloise," Colin told her. "I've almost ruined things for Josie before and everyone knows that she does not even like me, let alone even wants someone to love her, so what is the point? You and I both know that if Josie had a choice, she would be out exploring the world than be here."
"Can you blame her?" Eloise replied. "You men are foolish and, quite frankly, travelling the world sounds much more exciting than being a wife. But, Colin, I would hate to see your heart break for a second time."
"Perhaps I'm getting used to it," Colin admitted.
✿
I say it every chapter, but I really do adore Colin and Josie. The scheme to save Josie from marrying Antony is going to start in the next chapter and I am so excited for them to 'act' like they're in love lol. There was also a little foreshadowing in this chapter!