The weekend following the autumn festival was a quiet and uneventful one. With his room serving as a self imposed crypt, Ken stared at his phone awaiting communication that would never arrive. Steeped in his anguish, he was caught off guard by his alarm on Monday. Time seemed meaningless as he instinctively drug himself from his dorm and met the newfound chill in the air. Had he known that his tribulations were only about to begin, he might have stayed in bed longer.
He would find out from Lyra that no one had been able to reach Sonya after the festival. A fact that destroyed any lingering hopes and replaced them with guilt. This was further reinforced when she didn't come back to school. After meeting with everyone, Ken could feel his heart wrench anytime that his friends' eyes would land on him. They had to know that he was responsible, he thought.
Riddled with resentment, he strived to leave his dorm as early as possible to avoid those closest to him. While concerned, the others gave him space as the rest of the week and weekend slowly trickled away without a single message from Sonya. Despite a few brief exchanges with Lucas, Ken kept the truth of his exchange with her to himself as he withdrew from his school life in shame. A devouring feeling had made its home inside his heart and brought a sunken loneliness that made his chest ache.
Nonetheless, he still arrived at school the next Monday. Perhaps it was hope, or maybe he didn't want the others to worry about him. Whatever the reason, he sat alone in his classroom replaying the evening of his birthday in his head. As a few students started to arrive, the sound of rapid footsteps went unnoticed by Ken. It wasn't until a familiar voice cut through his classroom that he lifted his head from his desk.
"Big bro-K-ken! Are you in there?!"
Curiously poking her head into the room, Lyra scanned the confused faces of his classmates that were just getting seated. Not restraining his disgruntled tone, Ken spat out a reply in an attempt to get her to leave.
"Huh? What's going on? Why are you here?"
"It's Sonya! She's back!"
Lyra excitedly announced the information and immediately pivoted to run down the hallway towards the stairwell. Within seconds, Ken felt his body lift from his chair as he followed behind her as the tightness in his chest loosened slightly. After a brisk jog, they stopped outside Miss Rose's classroom and Ken gave Lyra a quizzical look.
"Why didn't you just text me?"
While the question seemed natural to him, Lyra shot him a glare as she shook her head in disappointment.
"Tsk. I told you last week. Miss Rose confiscated my phone because I kept messaging Sonya in class. Not that she ever answered... I literally told you this at lunch and you looked at me and nodded! Are you okay, space cadet?"
Ken turned his eyes away from Lyra as he had no memory of the conversation she described.
"Yeah... I just forgot. Where is she anyway?"
Gesturing toward the classroom doorway, Lyra gripped the threshold with one hand and leaned her head forward to peer in.
"She's just sitting there..."
Following his sister's example, Ken scanned the somewhat familiar class. Not immediately seeing Sonya, his attention was drawn to Stella instead. The girl was leaning across a desk and was bristling with excitement while talking to a classmate. It was then that Ken noticed that the classmate in question had a pair of flaxen pigtails. He had almost not noticed Sonya due to one large inconsistency in her appearance.
"She's in her uniform..."
Clad in a white blouse and azure skirt, Sonya adjusted the buttons on her long sleeved sky blue sweater that had the school's crest emblazoned on the breast pocket. The sight made Ken freeze in confusion while a png of unease swirled in his stomach as Lyra called out to him.
"I left Stella with her, but she was acting weird."
"Weird?"
"You go talk to her and see."
Turning her head upwards to meet his eyes, Lyra's expression was one of concern and made Ken's guilt exacerbate. The person he wanted to talk to more than anything was mere feet from him, yet he couldn't bring himself to take the first steps.
"I-I can't just go into your class..."
"Class hasn't started yet! You need to talk to her right now. Something isn't right, but she always listens to you."
Finishing her sentence, Lyra swiftly moved behind Ken and pressed her palms against his back. The soft force sent him stumbling into the classroom and soon the eyes of several underclassmen were watching him. Feigning composure, he approached Sonya's desk with Lyra following behind him.
"S-Sonya..."
"Hello, Ken. Good morning."
Despite his stammering, Sonya answered in a clear voice and turned to face him. Ken winced as he anticipated her usual glare, but was surprised at what awaited him. Devoid of emotion, Sonya's eyes anchored on him haphazardly. He couldn't quite place it, but she seemed different than when they had last spoken. The brilliant emerald luster housed in her irises was now dulled and her tone was formal and distant. As the uncertainty festered in his chest, Ken forced out a reply.
"Go-good morning... Are you okay?"
"Hmm? I am perfectly fine."
Sonya tilted her head slightly while her gaze lingered on something far in the distance. The nonchalant answer caused Ken to wonder if she was toying with him.
"You were gone for a while..."
As Ken trailed off, Sonya teetered in her seat as if she was confused by what he was saying. After a few seconds, she nodded slowly in realization before speaking.
"Oh, yes. I took an unexpected vacation with mommy. A lot of students took the last week off, didn't they?"
Ken paused at hearing Sonya refer to her mother. Her voice contained no animosity as she delivered the information like a student delivering a report.
"I guess so... So you two are talking?"
"Of course! I have a lot of work to do and she's going to help me."
The conversation was only adding to Ken's troubles and he wondered if the audience was responsible. Besides the curious stares from classmates, Lyra and Stella were watching them intently. With slight embarrassment, Ken lowered his voice and addressed Sonya.
"Is that so... Can we maybe talk alone... after school?"
With the same blank stare as before, Sonya thought to herself as she heard the request. Ken studied the foreign expression on her face as her eyes grew darker while her voice filled the air.
"Eh, I did intend to have your sister deliver the message, but it would be best to tell you now. I intend to resign from the writing club and the student council."
With a sullen face, Ken watched Stella shiver in shock as Lyra joined her side. Yet, the two girls stayed silent as Ken struggled to breathe. His vision narrowed while time seemed to flow slower. A pain shot through his chest and he felt like a piece of his heart was being carved away while he could only watch. Mustering all his strength, he timidly inquired while his head began to cloud.
"W-what? Why?"
Unfazed by her friend's reactions, Sonya showed no signs of remorse as she announced the reasoning behind her decision.
"As you are aware, my grades were slipping on the last few tests. Mommy and I agree that I should focus on my studies so I can get into a preferred college."
"C-college?! I didn't know you were already thinking about that... But, why do you have to leave the club? Can't you do both?"
In a voice that was akin to pleading, Ken called out to Sonya. He couldn't argue against her logic, but something still felt wrong about how calm she seemed.
"I have to give all my attention to what's important. I've been slacking for too long now. It's what is best for... my family. Please understand."
Sonya's brow tensed as she spoke in the first show of emotion since Ken had arrived. Suddenly, he was reminded of when Sonya ran from his apartment and the pain in her voice. This was his fault and he had no right to try and stop her, he told himself as words fell from his mouth.
"Fine. Do what you want."
Lyra clenched her fist and moved to step forward but was intercepted by Stella, who gave a serious stare while shaking her head. Met with defeat, Ken was about to turn and walk away. Yet, a shimmer of hope made him stay put and anchor his eyes on Sonya.
"We can still see each other at lunch, right?"
Just because she was leaving the club, didn't mean that they couldn't talk, he surmised. All he needed was a chance to properly apologize and perhaps he could make things right. His mind raced as he awaited her answer.
"I don't think that's a good idea. I have a lot of homework to catch up-"
"Wait!"
Raising his voice to a yell, Ken's outburst cut Sonya off. His breathing became erratic while his chest seized against the searing heat overwhelming his heart. With the first year students filing into the classroom, he was the center of attention. However, he no longer cared about appearances and his voice crackled as he frantically called out to Sonya.
"I'm sorry for what happened. Please let me ex-"
RIING!!!
The chiming of the warning bell drowned out his words. Standing in front of Sonya's unwavering gaze, he felt his throat tighten up as all energy left his body. Realizing that all his efforts would be futile, Ken turned his back and slowly walked towards the door. Yet, Sonya's words brushed against his back like an icy fog.
"Ken. I'm not punishing you for anything, I promise. You were right... I needed to make a change. You and mommy were right."
Quickening his pace, Ken retreated from the classroom while fighting the growing sickness in his stomach. While he would spend the rest of the day recovering, Sonya stayed true to her word and all but vanished from the student council room. Despite being thoroughly rebuffed, Ken couldn't shake the feeling that something more insidious was occurring.
Later that afternoon, Ken was sitting on his bed replaying the conversation from earlier in his head. He rubbed his temples in frustration as he recalled Sonya's aloof expressions.
Those weren't Sonya's eyes, those were a stranger's eyes. Normally she'd yell at me and get angry. Something is going on, but I don't know how to help... If she even needs help...
Cradling his head in his hands, he lamented his inability to change the situation.
She mentioned her mom... I thought their relationship was strained... Wait... Her mom!
As his thoughts wandered, Ken remembered that he had Charlotte's phone number from when Sonya joined him during summer vacation. If anyone would know what was going on with Sonya, it had to be her, he thought. Excitedly pulling his phone out, he searched his end table for the scrap of paper containing the number and punched the digits into his device. Within seconds, a soft ringing filled his ear followed by a firm voice.
"Hello?"
The voice sounded like Charlottes, but Ken timidly inquired to be sure.
"I-is this Sonya's mom?"
"Indeed it is. By that voice... I see you kept my number, Ken. You're in luck, I have a few minutes."
Switching to a more casual tone, Charlotte seemed almost tickled that he had called.
"Thank you..."
As he replied, Ken realized that he had neglected to consider how he would broach the subject before calling. An awkward silence followed before Charlotte intervened.
"So, what is on your mind? Is everything alright?"
Her calm concern made Ken's nerves lessen as he took a deep breath and strengthened his resolve.
"I wanted to ask you that... Is Sonya okay?"
"Huh? To my knowledge, she has been in school?"
"Yeah... but she's acting differently..."
"Isn't it wonderful? I suppose I have you to thank for her sudden change of heart."
The murky depths of guilt pulled Ken under once again as Charlotte offered her gratitude. While he wanted to fervently deny it, his response became caught in his throat while she continued to elaborate.
"She came home from school after the festival and called me saying that she wanted to buy new clothes. Needless to say, I was so excited! I flew in immediately and wound up going overboard and taking her to Paris for the week. Sorry to worry you! Whatever you did has given me my daughter back-"
"That's not what happened!"
Holding back his emotions, Ken interrupted the praise bluntly. As Charlotte grew quiet, he wondered if it was in anticipation or if he had angered her. Regardless, he needed to finish what he started.
"She isn't acting normal... She quit the writing club and she isn't talking to her friends. What I said to her was... awful... I hurt her and I'm afraid..."
His voice trembled as he was forced to face his own actions and his sentence came to a halt. Hearing him falter, Charlotte began to speak in a softened tone.
"Afraid that she won't forgive you? Ken. For the first time in years, Sonya is having dinners with me and holding conversations. I understand if you two had a fight, but I'm telling you that this is a good thing. She's finally acknowledging her place in this family. I hardly think that is cause for concern."
Was it possible that Sonya was really just mad at him and this was some form of punishment, he wondered as Charlotte's words burrowed through his convictions.
"Just give her some time to adjust and I'm sure things will work out."
Her words sounded convincing and Ken was nearly about to agree and give up. However, if by chance, an image passed through his mind. On a whim, he thought of the night he and Sonya first met and how she smiled. She showed a similar smile during summer vacation and on their date. Where had that smile gone as it certainly wasn't with this version of Sonya, he thought. His shoulders shook under tension as he tried to find his voice and respond.
"But-"
"I'm sorry, but that is all the time I have. I appreciate your concern, but Sonya is my daughter and I'm sure that she is doing fine. It isn't uncommon for young people to change drastically as they grow. You've been a good friend to her, so try to understand."
The end of her sentence was reminiscent of Sonya's and Ken fell quiet again as it appeared that Charlotte didn't have the solution he was looking for. He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but he just didn't have the evidence to back up his stance.
"Good bye."
Charlotte offered a farewell and the receiver beeped as the call ended. Ken placed the phone on his end table and fell to his side atop his bed. He wondered if he was really worrying about Sonya or if he was being selfish and regretting his own mistakes. With a full mind and heavy heart, Ken pulled the covers around himself and found himself wishing for sleep to take him away from the nightmare.
A few days passed with little change as Ken scrambled to find the motivation to attend school. Exams were coming up and he needed to study if he wanted to pass and not cause problems for the student council. Keeping his friends from worrying about him made him wake up with his alarm, but his spirits were still dampened. Occasionally he would pass Sonya in the hall or see her leaving school and the result was the same. She would barely meet his eyes and give a small salutation or ignore him completely.
In order to avoid the painful exchange, Ken continued to arrive at school early and stare into textbooks filled with answers to problems other than his. It was during this time that his sister's voice called out and interrupted Ken in what he hoped was not becoming a common occurrence.
"Ken, come here!"
"What is with you and bursting into my class?"
Standing next to his desk, Lyra was wearing a scowl that made him frown in response.
"Just shut up and follow me!"
Pulling on his wrist, she dragged him from the classroom and down to the first floor. Just as Ken feared that she was taking him back to her class, Lyra stopped in front of an auburn haired girl. Unfamiliar with the student, Ken gave Lyra a perplexed stare.
"This is Gracie, she's in my class. Tell him what you told me."
Wasting no time, Lyra gave her classmate a firm glance and gestured for her to speak. With a quick glance at Ken, Gracie nervously stepped forward and followed instructions.
"O-okay... Well... I was walking through the courtyard during lunch... I saw Sonya sitting on a bench talking to herself...."
Obviously uncomfortable, she trailed off for a moment to collect herself. With a groan, Ken shook his head and addressed the group.
"She was probably just talking to the cat that lives out there..."
"That's not the strange part! Listen!"
Snapping on him immediately, Lyra's fists shook in frustration while Ken decided to hold his tongue. Seeing how concerned her classmate was, Gracie cleared her throat and told her story in a rushed tempo.
"I just thought she might have been on the phone or something so I walked the other way. Then, she made a strange face. Like she was sad or in pain... Then, she walked to a trash can and threw her lunch away. I'm normally not nosy, but she's been acting differently lately. So... I walked back by and looked in the trash can... She threw out her whole lunch. It didn't look like she even touched it."
As she finished, Gracie took a breath and looked at her audience. The growing urgency in the looks coming from the siblings made her quickly drop her gaze and apologize.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry..."
Reaching out, Lyra reassuringly placed a hand on the girl's shoulder.
"No, you did the right thing. We should tell the teacher. Sonya needs our help-"
"We can't."
Ken didn't meet his sister's eyes, but his voice was one of restrained exasperation. It proved to be the final straw for Lyra as she stepped forward until she was inches away from him and began to raise her voice in anger.
"Grr... I've had it with your mopy attitude! This is serious! I don't care what happened between you two, but you are both friends! We need to help her!"
Heaving her chest, Lyra's face had become uncharacteristically red as her rage boiled over. Yet, Ken only lowered his head further as he replied.
"I... am her friend... but it's only one meal. If we're wrong, then we're going to make drama for Sonya. Maybe... She really is trying to change, so we should support her. Even if that means we have to watch from the outside..."
"Ken..."
Lyra's anger dissipated as it was replaced with sadness. Both for her friend and for the pitiful expression that Ken was trying to hide. She had seen many faces on him over the years and this particular one made her want to cry.
"Besides, you can ask her about it after class right?"
Her brother's voice made her take a step back as she looked at him with pained eyes.
"I guess so... She still talks to us, but it's like... she isn't herself."
Ken made no effort to agree nor disagree as he stood looking away from her. Unable to leave it at that, Lyra called out again.
"Is this really what you want? Don't you... care about her?"
Watching him carefully as she spoke, Lyra saw Ken wince before lifting his head and turning to face her.
"What I want doesn't matter. Sonya can make her own choices. I...I don't want to hurt her anymore..."
Forcing the words out, Ken stepped forward and walked past Lyra towards the stairwell leaving her and Gracie behind. Even though Lyra felt the same way that he did about Sonya's change in personality, he couldn't stand the feeling of guilt that crushed his lungs whenever his sister looked at him. After all, he was the cause of everything and he told himself it was only right that he shoulder the burden alone.
The afternoon came without fail and Ken folded his arms atop his desk while he fought the urge to fall asleep. He was fully consumed by despair and even the threat of detention couldn't make his mind focus on schoolwork. As he touched his forehead to his arms and gave up trying to pay attention, the loud banging sound of his classroom door being flung open jolted him upright.
"KEN!!!"
A screeching voice made everyone in the class look to Ken for answers. Figuring that his sister must have come back even more brash than before, he shrugged his shoulders as the teacher and his classmates all focused on the figure that stumbled into the room. However, his expectations were shattered as the girl that wobbled in wasn't Lyra, but Stella instead. Ken wanted to call out, but it was clear that she was winded and as he examined her he saw tears rolling down her cheeks. As if drawn by his scrutiny, Stella fixed her eyes directly onto his and cried out wildly.
"It's-huff- It's SONYA! Huff- She collapsed...hic... in gym class... You gotta-"
The end of her explanation would never reach Ken. Without waiting, his legs had yanked him from his desk as he propelled past Stella and out of the classroom. His lungs burned as he drew air in gasps to maintain his pace and soon he was outside the building heading towards the gymnasium. Not knowing what to expect, he was fueled by adrenaline as his hands reached for the double doors blocking his path.
Inside the gym, a group of students were loosely grouped together with worried expressions. A few of them had tears in their eyes as a teacher ran up and forced them to move.
"EVERYONE! Back up! Give her space! We need to wait for the nurse!"
The sound of footsteps rushing up alongside panicked breathing made everyone look up as a ragged looking upperclassman ran through the gym. The intruder caused them to hesitate as Ken approached the center of the group and saw something that made his veins fill with ice. In her gym clothes, Sonya was sprawled out on the ground as if she had just rolled out of bed and was still asleep. Her blonde hair weaved and curled across the gym floor as her chest heaved rhythmically in response to her soft breaths. Elevating Sonya's head in her lap, Lyra was seated on the floor and was using her hands to fan her friend.
Immediately noticing her brother, she looked at Ken with tear filled eyes and a helpless expression. Ken's lip quivered as he felt Lyra's pleas and he moved to kneel next to her. Gently lifting Sonya into his arms, he kept her secure and locked eyes with the exit. As he started to sprint away, the teacher tried to call out and stop him.
"Hey, what are you-"
It was too late, the sun greeted Ken as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him. Their fight, his feelings, everything felt trivial now. What mattered the most was getting Sonya help, he told himself as his body began to feel numb. As the heat that was building in his chest traveled to the area behind his eyes, Ken hoped that he wasn't too late to save the girl who had become an important part of his life. He made a silent promise to apologize and let Sonya know how much she meant to him once they were able to talk again.