The roaring karts and gasoline fumes turned out to be an ideal distraction. The indoor track wasn't quite what he had grown up on, and it felt a bit like racing around in a parking garage between the posts beneath the fluorescent lighting. But it was racing nonetheless, with a mix of aggressive and cautious drivers vying for the lead.
It took Prae a few laps to get the hang of steering the kart, but she was tailing Mitch by the end—like Emily used to when they'd beg their parents to let them go-kart. Every once in a while, Em won, but Mitch's controlled turns and well-timed accelerations got him further than her heavy foot and impulsive steering that had her bumping the tire walls. She was always quick to challenge anyone who passed her, which he had teased her about, but with time, he understood it. She wanted the rush and adrenaline to consume her as he did now. If she won, it was a bonus.
He and Prae pulled into the starting area and motioned to the attendant that they'd do their second race. Mitch flipped up the visor on his helmet and turned to Prae. "How do you like it?"
She lifted her visor. "I prefer my motorbike, but this is quite fun."
New racers settled into karts nearby. "Want to make the next race interesting?"
She grinned. "How?"
"Winner chooses what we do afterwards."
"Okay, but not a nightclub. I know we are around RCA, but..."
"Deal."
After the other racers were ready and the staff member signalled their start, the cars took off. The roar of the engines and occasional tire screeches transported him to America and an outdoor track that Emily, Shawn, and he used to visit. He pictured her long blonde hair escaping her helmet tossed around in the wind, her taunts to both him and Shawn, and her many excuses for why she was robbed of first place. Mitch would reassure her and offer to show her some tricks, but she always refused to listen.
In the last minute, Mitch hit the brakes to avoid smashing into two karts that had just collided. The drivers slowly cleared the path as Prae pulled ahead to beat Mitch and maintain that lead until their time was up.
As they left the cars in the waiting area, Prae wore a smug smile. "I supposed I ruined your plans."
"I'm excited to see what you've thought up."
"La Normandie?" She flashed her teeth and laughed.
She was cheeky; he'd give her that. "Careful, I am petty enough to smooth talk our way into a table and send Tom the photo."
She stared at him before shaking her head. "I was thinking of Benchakitti Park. It's nearby."
They returned the bright yellow helmets to the employee and stepped past the automatic door into cleaner air space. Prae's high heel clicked on the tiled floor. "When you say nearby, you mean in a cab, right?"
She smiled. "Yes."
"I can't believe you beat me in those." Mitch eyed her two-inch heels.
"I can do plenty in these, especially when my competition is distracted. Is Maria still on your mind?"
"I wasn't thinking about her."
Prae's forehead creased. "Not me, I hope."
He laughed as they navigated past the bar and billiard tables. "No, having feelings for one woman who is into Tom is more than enough pain."
"I understand completely."
They continued down the stairs to the main level of the mall. Something in him itched to explain himself more. Perhaps it was the anniversary coming up sooner than he could handle, or telling Maria about Em had dislodged rock from his foundation of denial, or knowing that Prae came from a culture that urged her to change the subject when she noticed he was uncomfortable.
"Earlier, I was thinking about my family. We used to go-kart together, so it brought back some memories."
"I can't imagine my mother in there. My father and brother, certainly, but she would refuse."
"My dad came go-karting when we were younger, then just Shawn, myself and..." They exited the air-conditioned mall and headed toward the street. He forced out his next words. "My sister as we got older."
Prae looked him in the eye and smiled. "You seem like a man with a close sister. I wish I could say the same for my brother. He can be an insensitive prick."
Mitch stifled his laugh. Most would consider him one too with how he treated women. "Why do you say that?"
"Very few men would dedicate an evening to cheering up a woman they consider a friend. I imagine you've done this before for her."
Memories bubbled into his mind like boiling water: consoling Em with movie marathons, gallery visits or fancy art supplies after things got stressful with school, their parents pressuring them, or her quiet worries that Shawn would never see her as anything but a friend.
"I have."
As lanes of traffic whizzed by in the distance, Prae and Mitch descended toward the cabs. "If you and Shawn grew up together, why didn't you come to Thailand the same year?"
In retrospect, it would have saved everyone a lot of pain if he had.
"I was a different person back then."
Mitch could still recall the excitement in Shawn's voice as he bounded toward him during their second last year of studies. "Bangkok, can you believe it? Isn't that fate? Me, you, and Em living abroad and travelling the world together. The school covers rent and flights, and they'll pay us for working during our practicum. Our university will even fly professors out, so we finish our classes out there."
Mitch sighed. Shawn was usually level-headed, but anytime Em came into the picture, his judgment got hazy. "Our last year of practicum is important for networking. It'll give us the references and experience we need to teach at the best schools. You want to sacrifice that for some working vacation? We can travel over the summer."
Shawn deflated, and his walk slowed. "But it's the dream."
"It's her dream. We have careers to consider, and she's in rehab, again, not ready to party in Thailand." Mitch had navigated enough unhappy video chats with his parents to get the play-by-play of his sister losing another job and dating another deadbeat before they sent her away.
"This could give her motivation to stay clean when she gets out. We don't have to party, we can tour museums, she'd sketch and paint, and we'd go exploring."
"I know you care about her, Shawn, and so do I, but we have to do what's best for us. Em will too when she can."
"I'm going to apply."
"Make sure you're doing it for you, not just her."
If Mitch had jumped on board sooner, would his sister have been more convinced? Could they have spent her last year together? Would it have given her the strength to fight longer? Or was he selfishly projecting his desires and regrets when months later she had the support of her new boyfriend and was loved and validated as she deserved?
"Mitch?" Prae held open the door of a cab as he stood rooted to the spot.
He cleared his throat then hopped inside. "Sorry, let's go."
The cab ride gave him a few minutes to bring his thoughts back to the present and forget how his quest to be a perfect teacher and partner to Lisa—who later found Shawn's dreams laughable and naïve—cost him his connection and time with Em. Imperfect relationships in Bangkok hadn't served him or the women much better, but maybe he could find a balance.
The sky was darkening as their taxi arrived at the park. Prae led them to a walking path along an oval pond over half a mile long. It was busy with joggers, walkers and photographers capturing the reflections of the skyscrapers in the water.
"I like to come here to remind myself there is beauty and nature in the city. With the traffic and go-karts, it's easy to get overwhelmed and forget the tranquillity." Prae laughed to herself.
"You'd never find so many people around a lake where I grew up unless there's a fishing tournament."
"It's similar in near my hometown, although tourists discover more and more of the spots. We all blame my father and brother for that."
Mitch smiled as Prae's tension and frown seemed to have fled for good. "My town wasn't interesting enough to have that problem."
"Are you not from the city?"
Purple flowers blended with the dark blue hues of the sky in the water's reflection. "I'm a country boy."
She grinned and swivelled toward him. "With the cowboy boots and a hat?"
"On occasion."
She laughed. "I had not expected that. In America, pictured you more as a surfer, with the laid back attitude, the messy hair and the..." Her eyes paused on his chest and arms.
"Body?" Mitch suggested with a grin to tease her. They paused and rested their hands on a guard rail facing the lake. "The hair is laziness, the body is from failing to distract myself with swimming, and the attitude is not caring about anyone or anything but my instant gratification."
"That must explain why it's fading."
"Come again?"
"Based on tonight, you care a lot about Shawn, your family, and Maria."
Mitch pressed his lips into a smile as he fought tears in his eyes. He squeezed Prae's hand, and despite not finding the right words, her returned gesture told him she understood how much her remark meant to him.
As much as it hurt to scrub away the veneer that'd protected him for three years, a weight was lifting off his shoulders.