A/N; buckle up brochachos. 😎
TW; anxiety, homophobia, trauma
"Steve, I... I don't even know what to say... I'm so sorry." Robin's voice is barely above a whisper.
Outside of family video, in the back corner of the parking lot where I always park my BMW, my car stood. Windows smashed. Spray painted in red and black paint, the words 'THE KING IS A FAGGOT'. My heart falls down to the pit of my stomach. How could someone do something this cruel?
Sure. I've done my fair share of messed up things in my life. I've used people. I've been mean and resentful. I've teased and been a bully. But I've reformed. I've apologized. I've changed.
I guess this is payback for my years of tormenting. I deserve it. My chest feels tight and all I can do is collapse to the ground, sobbing. All I wanted to do was fall in love and really feel something. Just something simple for once. But my life has never been simple. It never will be.
"Steve..." Robin leans down next to me putting her hand on my back softly. "Honey, it's gonna be okay..."
"No it's not Robin. It's never going to be okay." I manage to say between sobs. I can't do this. I can't keep staying in this fucking town, I want to run.
She helps me stand up, but I'm inconsolable. The tears will not stop falling and I cant catch my breath. Is this a panic attack, again? We go inside the video store, Robin leads me back to the break room and sits me down in a chair. "Do you need anything?"
I shake my head. "I wanna go home..."
Robin disappears out to the front of the store. She doesn't come back for what seems like hours. I can't stop crying, and my vision is completely blurred. Breathing is impossible. There's nothing I can do to catch my breath and make it even. Hyperventilating, bawling my eyes out, I'm a mess.
The door opens again and I try to see who's approaching me. It's all shapes and colors until I feel the familiar mixture of metal and skin of someone's hand on my cheek. "Eddie...I-"
"Nope, don't worry about it. Let's get you home, yeah?" I nod and he helps me stand and walk out to his van. He scoops me up into his arms and lifts me into the passenger seat. I still can't see or hear much outside of my own thoughts and tears. But the door shuts and I hear some faint mumbling outside. The world goes black.
——-
Eddie's POV
"I'm gonna take him home. Can you please call Keith and tell him Steve got sick or something? He can't work like this." Robin nods understandingly. "I'm on it. Will you call me later and let me know how he's doing please?" I hug her. "I will. Thank you for calling me... I'm gonna fix this. Those fuckers are gonna pay."
There's nothing more in this world I want more right now than to smash Tyler's head in. How could he do this shit? To Steve of all people. That used to be his best friend. How fucking dare him?
I thought all this bully shit would die down after Jason died but no. There's always gotta be someone. It's like a rotation of stupid biggot dumbassery. We shouldn't have to deal with this. Steve shouldn't have to deal with any of this.
It's all my fault. I should have never gotten close to him. I was selfish. Hoping he would fall in love with me and we would get some kind of fairytale happily ever after bullshit. Why did he have to look at me like that? Why did I fall in love with the fucking king of Hawkins?
"Just... get him home. Okay?" Robin sighs and lets me go. "I will. I'll see you later okay Rob?" She nods and pats my back gently, disappearing back into the video store.
——
Steve's POV
I don't know how we got home, I don't remember the drive back at all. All I know is that I'm back in my room, in bed, and the room is dark and quiet. Where's Eddie? There's a slight panic that jolts through my exhausted body. "EDDIE?!" I call out to him, trying to not sound completely frantic.
Feet come padding down the short hallway and he stops in the doorway. "Oh baby... I'm here. It's okay..." he rushes to my side and lays next to me. "I'm sorry. I wanted to let you sleep."
"It's... it's okay. I'm sorry I freaked out. I don't know what happened... everything went black and now we're here? Where's Robin?" He reaches over and rubs small shapes onto my back. "She called Keith for you. He told her to let you know you don't have to come in until Tuesday if you need."
Deep breaths Harrington. In and out. Fuck why do I feel like I'm dying?
"Eddie they ruined my car..." he nods slowly, taking a deep breath. "I know. I reported it to the police. They said they can't do anything without proof... I can fix it for you. I had it towed to the trailer. We're gonna fix this. Okay?"
The tears come back to my eyes. I can feel them, hot, burning at the corners again. I don't think I have anymore left in me, but here they are falling again. Eddie pulls me close and I let it go, crying against his chest. "Shhhh. It's okay. I've got you now."
"I'm scared Eds. I don't think I can be here anymore."
"I know darlin..." He sighs and hugs me tighter.
"I just want to love you. I don't want everyone to hate me for loving someone. Why does this hurt so bad?"
"Baby when you figure that out please let me know..." I hear him sigh and laugh sadly. "Loving someone shouldn't put you in danger. This isn't fair. I'm so sorry... it's all my fault."
That sentence stopped me dead in my tracks. His fault? What? Eddie didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't have ever told him. I should've just kept how I felt in and we could be living our normal lives. Watching movies. Smoking weed. Spend the rest of our days as best friends. I never should have admitted to my feelings. How fucking dare I ruin his whole life and put him in danger?
"This is not your fault Eddie. Why would you ever say that?" I can feel anger bubble in my stomach. "You never did anything wrong. I got bold, thought we would be safe. I was wrong. I should've never said anything. Should have kept my fucking mouth shut... I'm so stupid to have thought I could ever have something I want..."
"Steve-"
"No Eds. No. Do not take the blame for me being a fucking idiot."
"Steven fucking Harrington. Shut your goddamn mouth for just a minute. Listen to me." He pushes me back and grabs hold of my shoulders, looking me dead in the eye.
"Don't you ever. EVER. Talk about yourself like that again. How could you ever say any of that? How fucking dare you sit here and insult the man that I love like that?"
My heart feels like it's breaking. I just want to run away and hide. I don't want anyone to see me ever again. This goddamn town is cursed in more ways that one. "I don't understand why you don't think I'm the idiot here? It's literally my fault."
"Steve. I said shut the fuck up."
I stand up out of the bed and bolt towards the bathroom. Collapsing into the bathtub, facing the wall. I don't want to talk anymore anyway. He doesn't want to hear it, so I won't say it.
I hear Eddie walk to the bathroom. "Are you done feeling sorry for yourself yet, princess? Can we talk like grown ups now?"
"No." I cross my arms tightly against my chest to try to keep the feeling of falling apart from actually happening. Why do I feel like I'm dying?
"Steve. Listen. Don't let some asshole bullies ruin this... ruin us... please... I love you..."
I shift my weight and sit up, leaning my back against the back of the tub. "Eddie I don't know how you've dealt with any of this...you're stronger than me."
"In some ways. Yeah... I've got thicker skin. But do you remember nothing of what we've gone through? You've almost died, more than once. You've fought monsters. Real life actual monsters. And you're going to let some bigoted assholes destroy you? Cmon this isn't the Steve I know."
He's not wrong. But I don't want him to be right. I've just never felt like this before. My life is whatever for me. Yeah, I've almost died. Yeah, I fought off monsters and saved my friends. But to know that the person I love, just because they're the same gender as me, is now in danger BECAUSE of me? Fuck.
"I just... I love you. And I'm scared now you're gonna get hurt because of me."
"Can I come in?" I can hear his hand on the bathroom door handle. "Yeah... I guess" he opens the door and looks at me. I must look stupid or something because a wide grin is plastered on his face. He leans down next to the tub and takes my face into his hands.
"I'm not going anywhere. And we're going to be fine. You know that right, Harrington?"
"Eddie how the fuck is anything going to be okay? How are we supposed to do all of this? I'm terrified you're going to get hurt because of me."
"Steve. Stop spiraling. I'm not gonna get hurt because of you. I might get hurt because of my preference in men. But it's not your fault the stupid people in this town hate me."
I rest my cheek in his hand and close my eyes. Finally starting to feel like I'm able to breath again but not without a major amount of effort.
"Run away with me."
"I-what did you just say?"
I look him right into his eyes, grab ahold of one of his hands in mine. "After the boys graduate. Let's leave this fucking city. Never turn back."
"Steve... I... I don't know..."
"Please Eds. I want to be with you. But we can't do this here..."