They had been home just short of two hours.
Neither of the two have been able to shake their nerves from what happened. It was too close this time.
When they got to their home on Watery Lane, Linda was there with Charlie. Bella told her that he could stay them, and sensing the tension from the two Linda left to give them time alone.
Tommy has yet to say a word.
Even when Polly came in to find out what had happened after hearing about a shooting in the square, Bella explained while Tommy stood off to the side. Polly agreed to gather the family for a meeting, they'll all be here later today.
So then the three of them were left alone again.
Bella sat on the floor of the living room next to Charlie. Trying to distract her mind by playing with his trains with him, and trying to warm herself up by the fire.
Baby was there too, he was laying by Tommy's feet, who was sitting in a chair off to the side against the wall.
Bella thinks the pup could tell that something was wrong.
Seeing as Charlie was blissfully entertaining himself with the toys, Bella took the opportunity to look behind her at Tommy. He was slouched back in the chair, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips and his eyes were distance. Psychically he was here but not mentally.
And this worried her.
She took Charlie's distraction as an opportunity to to stand up, making her way to him. She's been trying to keep herself collected, not wanting to scare the young boy, but Tommy's having a harder time than her.
Gently pulling the cigarette out of his mouth, his eyes slowly moved to her. Bella saw the desperation in his eyes, a plead to help ease whatever thoughts he had running through his head.
"C'mere" she whispered, squatting in between his knees and gently grabbing a hold of his cheeks, pulling him closer.
He obliged, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead on hers. Softly gripping her wrists.
They stayed silent for a few moment before Tommy finally broke the silence,
"I don't understand" he told her
She frowned, not knowing what he meant by that. "What don't you understand, Tommy?"
They were talking in hushed voices, not wanting Charlie to hear. Tommy let out a shaky breath, still not opening his eyes.
"...I don't understand why you haven't left, Bella. With everything I've put you through, i dont know why you're still here...with me."
Her mouth fell open with surprise and sadness. Pulling away wanting him to look at her, feeling her heart break that this is the thought that has been torturing him.
He didn't open his eyes, it was almost as if he didn't want to face her, just letting his head hang down on its own.
"Tommy...look at me..."
He shook his head. "Maybe...maybe if you weren't pregnant...it would've been easier...it would've been easier for you to get on that boat with him. Where you'd be safe and could live a happy life in New York."
She felt the silent tears on her cheeks. Her heart ripping in two at his insecurity. Pregnant or not she would never leave him, she loves him. But now she was starting to think that maybe he regrets the fact that she actually was pregnant.
"Don't say that." She begged "do-do you regret our engagement? O-or our baby?" Having a hard time getting her words out.
His head came up then, looking her straight in the eyes. He didn't mean to hurt her. Shaking his head,
"No, never...you're all I've ever wanted and our baby is already one of my greatest treasures...but I almost lost both of you today, and this wasn't the first time I've put you in that situation"
"Ohh Tommy,-" she couldn't believe this how he felt and wondered how long he's felt like it. Bringing her hands to the back of his neck
"-I'm here because I want to be here, because I love you...years ago you promised me that you would be my protector for as long as I'm with you,...and I think you've done a wonderful job at keeping that promise."
"B-but what about the baby, Bella?" He asked, still not fully believing that she doesn't regret him.
Offering the best smile she could, despite how sad this conversation made her feel. "Our baby is fine. Polly said she'll get the wet nurse to come see me as soon as possible. But I feel fine, Tommy, nothing's wrong."
He slowly nodded, looking back down trying to believe her, but struggling to. And she noticed this, lifting his face back up to hers.
"Tommy, I could never leave you because since the moment I first met you, I knew it was too late to say goodbye...I-I can't imagine my life without you in it, you saved me Thomas Shelby."
He's stared at her for a long time. Truly, truly believing that she was an Angel sent from heaven.
"Okay, Bella. Okay. I'm sorry, didn't mean to upset you."
She shook her head at him "never apologize for voicing your thoughts, it's good for
you.-" gently rubbing her thumb on his cheek, today was hard but she knew they'd be okay
"-were going to have a baby soon. A little you and me."
She told him just wanting to say it out loud again. It was one of the first times she felt truly excited for the birth. Thinking about her, Tommy, Charlie and the new baby all together was her idea of perfect.
He look at her sincerely, but Before he got to say anything else, Baby stood up getting between them, licking both of their faces. Happy to see his owners in better spirits.
Bella giggled and even Tommy cracked the smallest smile.
"Alright boy, down." Tommy ordered the dog to sit again. Once he did, Tommy leaned in kissing Bella and mumbling as he slowly pulled away, "a little you and me."
Although, this conversation helped ease his mind with her. He knew that once his blood cooled down, he'd have other problems to deal with. He killed people in cold blood today, they were being hunted and he knew the shovels would be extra loud tonight.
But for now he was just trying to push off the shakes off.
Just as he was helping her stand, Arthur busted through the front door.
"The fuck happened today, Tom?!"
Bella's eyes lit up, having her brother around always gave her an extra sense of comfort.
"Arthur!"She said as she pulled him into a tight hug. Which of course he instantly returned, not being able to hide the feeling of relief he got when he saw that her and the baby were okay.
"Have a seat, Arthur." Tommy spoke from behind them.
Not long after, with lots of concerned hugs and questions from the family, even Uncle Charlie gave Bella a hug, Tommy explained what happened to them.
He explained how they were followed and how between the two of them, they were able to kill three of them.
The family was happy that they were both okay, especially with Bella being pregnant. But it did leave them with a new fear, a fear that cut deep because this event meant they really weren't safe anywhere.
Just as Tommy finished talking Charlie came running into the room, hugging Bella's leg as she stood next to Tommy in the door way. She pet his head, listening quietly. The only thing on her mind now was sleep, she needed her rest after today.
"But we got three of them." Tommy finished
Arthur was the first to stand when the meeting concluded. Walking right up to his brother, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Let's get a drink in you before the shakes come."
Bella became worried at his statement. She knows that the events took a toll on Tommy but was afraid she could only do so much to help him.
Before answering Tommy turned to pick Charlie up.
"Dad? You got three what?" Charlie asked innocently
Bella stood off to the side watching as Tommy poked his chest "I got a three shillings horse for only two!"
She placed her hand on his back,
"Go with them to the Garrison. I'll stay here with Charlie tonight."
Tommy looked down at her a little surprised. No part of him even considered going and leaving them here.
Bella saw that he was about to say no.
"It's okay, Tom. We'll be fine, just going to sleep-" then turned to Arthur who was still stand with them "-Arthur, Will you please escort your brother to get nice and drunk with you?"
He nodded with a smirk "of course I will. Best thing I've heard all day. I'll meet ya by the door Tom."
Tommy was still looking at Bella. Looking for any sign that he should stay, even though part of him really wanted to go.
"Peach, I don't kn-"
She stopped him by placing a hand in his cheek. "I can't pretend I know what's going on inside that mind of yours, so go with your brother and help ease it. Charlie and I will be fine. I would go with you but recently the smell of alcohol has been making me sick."
Letting out a long sigh, he finally gave in.
"Alright, peach. I'll go, but I'll be back before midnight." Tommy agreed, leaning down to give her a kiss.
"Ewwww" Charlie whined still in Tommy's hold. The two pulled apart smiling, Bella reached over to grab his face now,
"Don't worry Charlie, I'll give you one too." Then started peppering his face with kisses until he couldn't stop laughing, Tommy even gave a smile.
Once the laughter died down, Tommy put Charlie on his feet. "I'll be back soon."
Bella laughed again at how many times he said that. "Go. Go relax."
He paused again, then eventually went to meet the men, and that left Bella and Charlie alone for a peaceful night of rest.
and that's exactly what they had.
Bella cooked Charlie supper then lit the fire in the living room and read him a book until he got so sleepy he couldn't keep his eyes open.
Brushing his hair, she put him to bed upstairs, Baby staying protectively at the end of the it.
She smiled looking at the two before closing the door and heading back downstairs. Sitting down on the sofa, she thought about the day. Still feeling numb from the events. She wouldn't let herself feel anything for it, she killed someone today too. Something she's done more times than she could count...and that's the thought that haunted her mind.
Thinking about when she was young. The little girl that would play in the mud with her older brother, while he laughed but would never leave her behind.
Her brother would've been turning 29 this year. It was a strange thought, the last time she saw him she was only 14 years old when he went off to the war.
She tried to ignore the thought, couldn't help but wonder if her brother would be disappointed in the persons she's become.
A life with gangsters isn't one you'd hope for, especially for your little sister. But gangs or not, she knew he would've loved Tommy.
Then Her mind wandered to Charlie and her unborn child, rubbing her hand over her belly as she looked at the fire. Boy or girl, she hopes the two have the same bond she had with her sibling.
She also hoped that she'd create a better life for them. One away from all this, away from the killings and guns and anything else that might cause them harm.
She was determined to give them a happy, safe life.
But she wouldn't voice any of these thoughts to Tommy, not yet, not after their conversation earlier.
He needs time to heal and his brother will help him do that tonight.
While she will take care of herself and she was okay with that.
Vinny's face popped into her head then.
He helped them today, he had every opportunity to hurt them or even kill them, which was the whole reason he was here with Luca...but he didn't.
Bella stood up then, going to move to the logs in the fire so it wouldn't die out....she didn't want to think about him. She didn't want to know the reasons why, it hurt her heart too much.
So instead she distracted herself.
Not even a moment later, the front door opened and Tommy stepped inside. Bella looked over at the small clock they kept on the fire place, he kept to his promise, it was just before midnight.
Standing up as Tommy looked over towards the light of the fire, seeing her there.
Bella noticed his droopy eyes as he moved slowly towards her, he was drunk.
"How was it, Tom?" She asked quietly
He didn't answer her question, not wanting to think anymore tonight. So instead he held his hand out for her to take,
"Dance with me, peach."
She took his hand without hesitation, stepping closer to rest her head on his shoulder. Feeling a weight lift off her as she did so.
He felt a sense of comfort as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her as close as possible.
The two started to sway together around the room, no music playing only the crackle of the fire.
Bella obliged without second thought because she thought Tommy needed this. But now that she was holding onto him as they slowly danced in-front of the fire, she knew she needed this just as much as he did.
Tommy rubbed small circles on her back with his thumb. As he did so his fogged mind drifted back to their days in the arrow house. The days where he would come home from a long day of work to find her waiting at the door for him a big smile on her face.
He missed seeing her smile...
Drifting to the times where Bella and Charlie would spend time with him in his office; and when the three of them would lay restfully on the bed, just enjoying their time together.
He's do anything to go back to those days.
Snapping back to reality, Bringing his mouth down next to her ear, "we were so happy"
He whispered with regret
A small frown made its way onto her face, she knew he was talking about their time together before the vendetta. It was the happiest they both have ever been.
Pulling back to rest her hands on the base of his neck, she looked deeply into his eyes
"We were and we will be again."
Tommy tried his best to concentrate on her, with his drunken mind it was even harder to believe her words. Casting his eyes down, not able to look at her as he spoke.
"I don't know if I know how to save us Bella.."
He never wanted to admit it out loud. He was scared and doesn't believe he holds the power the save the family.
He didn't mean to tell her that though, he didn't want to scare her even more. It was his job to protect her but his confidence in doing so was slowly fading.
But Bella didn't look scared. She looked determined as she lifted his chin to look at her again.
"I've been thinking Tommy."
Tightening his grip on her waist, afraid of her answer, he asked
"Thinking about what Bell?"
"About how we've been trying to play Luca's game safe and smart...-"
Confused; Tommy nodded, of course they were trying to play it smart. Looking into her bright grey eyes, he saw no fear as waited for her to explain.
"-...I think it's time we start playing dirty."
And at that moment Tommy remembered why he asked this woman to Marry him.
It was time to take control of this vendetta.
***Author's Note***
Welcome back!
Hope to get a few more chapters out to you all soon.
Hope you enjoyed this one, please please please tell me what you think!
And what you want to see happen!