R-18.
I've been thinking for quite some time. Hugo and I are back on sleeping together but it stayed there. I need to level up our relationship.
That's the original plan after all.
It's been a month since I had a talk with Aurora
Walang nagbago hindi kami umaastang mag-asawa. Habang dumadaan ang maraming araw walang nag-iiba sa relasyon namin.
Lagi kong sinusubukan na halikan siya ng mariin pero lagi itong umiiwas I don't know what's his problem and what's stopping him but that won't stop me.
I've decided that I should start my bold move now before it's too late.
I know it won't be easy but there's nothing wrong with trying.
This relationship of ours should lit up.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I am wearing a white night dress. It's not too short, it looks modest I didn't wanna look so eager on my first try.
The nightdress is above the knee it is long sleeved and has a ribbon on the chest, the wrist of the dress also has ruffles.
The night dress is thin and loose.
I usually wear pajama set or a long night gown when I sleep specially whenever I am sleeping in Hugo's room.
I used to wear nightgown way back when I was not yet married.
Pero noong kinasal ako kay Hugo I stopped wearing it. Nahihiya ako sa kanya and I was not comfortable that way back then but now everything has changed
It's already 11 PM, I know Hugo is already in his room.
I checked myself for the last time at dumeretso ako sa kwarto nito. Pagkapasok ko ay nakita ko siyang nakahiga at nakapikit pero alam kong gising pa ito.
Tumabi ako sa kanya tsaka umunan sa braso nito.
Nag dadalawang isip ako kong gagawin ko ba talaga ito.
But I have to.
"Hugo?" Tawag ko sa kanya tsaka ko itinaas ang kamay kong nakayakap sa kanya patungo sa diddib nito.
I have never took advances on him just a kiss, this is the first time that I am seriously being bold on expressing what I want.
Ginapangan ako ng kaba pero nilakasan ko ang loob ko.
I could feel my heart race because of nervousness.
He stilled na para bang nagulat sa paraan ng pagtawag ko sa kanya.
I couldn't even recognize my own voice.
I lifted my head from his shoulder tsaka ko siya hinalikan sa panga nito.
Whenever I try to kiss him, I know he knows that I only wanted a kiss but this time it's different, I want more than just a kiss.
I started moving my hands from his chest sensually. He is wearing his shirt I was about to lift it with my right hand to feel him bare when he captured my hands stopping me with what I'm doing.
"Priscilla Innana, what are you doing?." Mariin at maawtoridad nitong sabi.
Naramdaman ko ang pagbigat ng hininga nito.
But I didn't stop instead hinila ko ang kamay ko pabalik na hawak nito tsaka ito nilipat sa mukha niya upang iharap siya sa akin.
I stared directly in his eyes and he looked at me back, nakita ko ang paglunok nito na para bang hirap na hirap siya.
Dahan dahan kong nilapit ang mukha ko sakanya.
I kissed him with different intensity that I have been giving him for the past month.
I kissed him sensually, hinalikan ko siya na parang may pinapahiwatig.
But he didn't responds, he stayed stayed still pero hindi niya ako tinulak.
Tulad ng mga nakaraan. I kiss him while he stay still, there are some instances that he responds back but only for a short time at marahas itong lumalayo at mukhang hirap na.
I don't know what's stopping him but whatever it is all I want is his lips back.
"Hugo please respond." Sabi ko tsaka ko hinawakan ang labi nito at hinimas.
"Please." Ulit ko habang patuloy na dinadampian siya ng ng mararahan na halik.
"I want you to kiss me Hugo." Pagmamakaawa ko.
The great Priscilla Innana Martinez Lopez is desperately begging for a kiss from her husband.
If I look back in time I would never imagine that this will ever happen, the boys are the one begging for my kiss but look at me now.
Normally I would pity myself but this time around is different, I have intention and responsibility to make and this is for the sake of our marriage.
He gently pulled me away from him stopping me. Sobrang haran nito that it confuses me. Nasasaktan ako tuwing ginagawa niya ito sakin, nilalayo ako na para bang isa itong pagkakamali tuwing napakalapit ko sa kanya.
I wonder if his reason is his ex girlfriend. It probably us but I am just manipulating myself that it is not.
Asawa niya ako pero hindi niya ako tinuturing na asawa. He is a good husband yes, a gentleman. But we don't fuck like what the normal married couples do.
Yun ang kulang sa relasyon namin at pagmamahalan. The love part is given, this is not a marriage out of love but we respect and appreciate each other.
But the sex part is not, I don't know how he could last months without it. I know men have needs.
Makes me wonder if he is doing it with other women but I know he doesn't. He has honor.
Tumingin siya sa akin na para bang nahihirapan na siya.
"I can't." Maiksi nitong sabi.
"Why?" Tanong ko umaasa ako na may makukuha akong sagot sa kanya para mas malinawan ako.
I want him to tell me what's stopping him, how could he resist me like this.
Pero nanatili itong tahamik.
"Hugo I said why?" Tanong ko ulit.
"I'm sorry Priscilla. This is not right" Tanging sabi nito.
What does he mean it is not right. It is very normal, what's not normal is not doing it after month of being married.
I don't know why pero nasaktan ako sa paghingi niya ng tawad. Parang pinamukha niya sa akin na ayaw niya sa sitwasyon namin ngayun. And that he doesn't want to do it with me.
Maybe I didn't make the cut of girls he like to fuck, He has long list of hot girls, Gwendolyn being one of them. The model who was named as one of the prettiest face by one of the famous magazine in Los Angeles.
Ever since I tried to seduce him, I felt really insecure. Kahit naman hindi dapat.
I was offered a lot of times by agency to be a part of their growing family when they scout me in a public place.
I have few messages in my social media wanting me to be part of their company some of them being a famous agency and even as a global ambassador but I didn't want to be in that field because I have other priorities and that is not entertainment and modeling industry. This is also the reason why I know for a fact that I am not unattractive.
I have guys flocking over me, all eyes on me when I walk but he makes me question if it is all just an imagination.
Lumayo ako sa kanya, at tinitigan siya. I am trying to read what's in his mind.
"Hugo what's wrong? We've been married for almost 8 months Hugo! Pero hangang ngayun wala akong alam tungkol sayo!" Reklamo ko sa kanya.
We are almost on our anniversary but nothing is going on the right track.
Hindi ako niminsan nagreklamo sa kanya sa sitwasyon namin. But this is going out of hand, I am really disappointed.
"I'm trying to make this relationship work! The least thing you can do is cooperate." Dagdag ko
"It's been 7 months Hugo, you promised." Sabi ko sa kanya. Pinatatag ko ang loob ko upang hindi maiyak.
"I'm trying Hugo." Mahina kong sabi.
"I'm sorry I brought you into this Priscilla Innana. I shouldn't have." Saad nito.
Mas lalo akong nasaktan sa sinabi nito, is he starting to regret marrying me?
"I don't need your sorry. I just want you to try to make this relationship work!" Pagalit kong sabi.
"I am trying." Saad nito.
"Your not." Sabi ko tsaka ko ulit siya hinalikan ng mapusok sa labi.
Your not trying enough, that's what I wanted to say.
I know that he is also trying to make this relationship work nakikita ko iyon sa kanya but we have to spice things up now.
But he once again didn't respond.
I pulled away and looked at him in his eyes. I smiled at him painfully. So he doesn't want me, I could tell now.
"I want this Hugo, but you can't even give it to me." Saad ko tsaka humiga ng patalikod sa kanya.
Nasasaktan ako, alam ko hindi ito magiging madali pero sobrang nasasaktan na ako.
I heared him sighed tsaka ako niyakap sa likod.
I could feel his breath on my nape.
"Are you horny Priscilla Innana?." Nagulat ako sa biglaan nitong tanong.
I remained silent due to the shock that I felt because of how unfiltered he is when he said those words.
I am not horny but I am trying to turn him on.
"Do you want me to help you?"
I almost closed my eyes dahil naramdaman ko ang mainit nitong hininga sa leeg ko.
He pulled me closer and I felt a hard thing poking me in my back. I am not innocent I know what it is.
So he is turned on the whole time? Why is he even trying to stop himself. I am already offering that should be enough to ket him do whatever he wants.
I don't know what to say, I suddenly can't find the right words to say. Parang kanina lang ako inaakit ko siya.
Pero ngayun ako ang naakit kahit wala naman itong ginagawa para akitin ako. I am just attracted to him.
"I'm asking you Priscilla Innana." Marahan nitong sabi.
Naramdaman ko din ang pagdampi niya ng mumunting halik sa leeg ko. Nararamdaman ko ang pagbigat ng aking hininga.
I felt him pull me roughly, kung kanina nakatalikod ako sa kanya, ngayun ay nakahiga ako ng normal and my eyes is on our ceiling.
Naramdaman ko ang paghalik nito sa aking pisngi.
The lights are off, ang lampshade lang ang tanging liwanag na nakikita sa kwarto.
I feel my eyes are closing because of the tension that I am feeling, I felt his hands on my thighs slightly massaging it.
Buti nalang hindi niya ako hinila paharap sa kanya, I don't want to come face to face with him
I felt him kissing my neck sensually, this feeling is new to me. Tuloyan ko ng naipikit ang mga mata ko.
This feels different, when I do it to him.
"Answer me." Sabi nito tsaka marahan na tinataas ang kamay mula sa hita ko.
"Hugo." Bukod tanging nasambit ko.
I can't even recognize my own voice. Pataas ng pataas ang mainit nitong kamay sa hita ko. I felt him pull up my dress exposing my underwear.
"Do you want me to help you Priscilla?" Tanong nito ulit.
I felt a strong burning heat building up inside of me. I can't even look at him.
I could feel his breath whenever he speaks on my neck.
"Hugo please." Sabi ko my patience is not cooperating.
Things escalated too fast, kanina ako ang umaakit sa kanya pero nainis lang ako sa kanya.
"I need your answer." Anya.
His bedroom voice is adding up the tension that I am feeling.
I felt his hand on the top of my thigh, he reached the end but he didn't completely went to the sensitive part.
Clearly he is waiting for my approval.
Ito ang gusto kong mangyari kanina, kaya wala na dapat akong pag isipan pa.
"Yes."
At last I said the word that I've been wanting to say.
Naging mabilis ang mga galaw nito, he spread my legs enough for him to fit his hands.
I then felt him slowly moving his hands to my private part. I felt his warm palm on top of my underwear.
Mas lalong bumibagat ang paghinga ko sa pagdaloy ng oras
He continued kissing me on my neck, I can feel his warm breath and warm hand.
I suddenly felt him move his fingers sensually on my sensitive part with my underwear still on.
It feels so good but I feel like I would love it even more if it is without the fabric.
I can't help but gasp for some air. I arched my back when I felt him deepened his touch.
"Ohh god." I can't stop my self from moaning.
I felt him move his fingers deep and faster.
I can feel myself getting wet down there. Alam ko na kahit may telang pumapagitna sa kamay niya at sa aking sensitibong parte, alam ko na ramdam niya ang resulta ng ginagawa niya sa akin.
Napamulat ako ng mata ng alisin nito ang kanay nito sa aking sensetibong parte, I saw him pulled my sleeve down. Which exposed my shoulder and I know the top of my left boob are also showing dahil sa paghila nito pababa sa sout ko.
Nakita ko ang paninitig nito sa aking leeg at dahan dahan na lumipat sa aking dibdib.
He then kissed my neck back, I felt him move his kisses from my neck to my shoulder while he continued to pleasure me down there.
"Ahh Hugo please." I said.
I want more of him. It feels so good even though may telang pumapagitna sa amin.
How much more if wala ito.
I know he knows what I meant but he didn't obliged instead mas pinag igihan nito ang ginagawa sa akin na nagpabigat ng paghinga ko.
My moan grew longer and deeper as he move his fingers faster and deeper, ramdam na ramdam ko ito.
I felt my body move to welcome his moves. I can't even control my body now. Parang gumagalaw nalang ito ng mag isa.
I gripped on the bedsheet for a support. As I move with his fingers, trying to feel it more.
He remained kissing my shoulder, I felt him move his kisses to my exposed boob but he stopped midway na parang pinipigalan ang sarili at bumalik sa leeg ko.
I don't want him to stop there.
I felt something building up inside of me which made me moan louder as I call his name. I feel him breathing heavily.
"Fuck" Mahinang sabi nito na para bang pumutok ang mumunting pasensya na kinikimkim nito, at hinalikan ako ng mapusok sa labi.
I felt him move his lips expertly. I suddenly feel awe as I taste him in my mouth. I've never been kissed this way, I never thought a kiss could be this good.
I tried to respond to his kisses but I couldn't follow his moves and I couldn't help but moan when I felt his hand bare on my sensitive part.
Hinawi nito ang munting tela na pamapagitna sa amin. Na mas lalong nagpalakas ng akong ungol.
He moves his lips sensually as he also glide his tongue on my mouth which made me moan. He is kissing me so roughly that it seems like he wanted it all along.
I tried to kiss him with the same intensity but I am too overwhelmed with what he is doing to me down there that I can't cope up with him.
Napatigil ako sa pagtugon sa halik nito dahil sa namumuong senyasyon sa kalooban ko na para bang gustong kumawala.
I feel like Hugo felt it too. Kaya mas lalong niyang binilisan ang kamay nito na nagpawala ng aking katinoan.
I let out a long sweet moan as I felt my release.
Mabibigat ang paghinga ko habang patuloy parin si Hugo sa ginagawa, I felt my body shake a little bit.
I felt Hugo kissed my lips again sensually. This time I responded with the same intensity.
I can still feel him slowly massaging my sensitive part kahit na narating ko ang kasukdolan na para bang ninanamnam niya ito.
I could now clearly feel my wetness.
Binalik nito sa dating ayus ang aking underwear and I know my underwear is dripping wet at alam kong ramdam na ramdam niya ito.
He is circling his fingers with the most wet part of my underwear. As if he is enjoying it.
Kalaunan ay binaba nito ang aking damit at ibinalik sa dating ayus.
That's it? Doesn't he want to feel the same thing that I felt?
"Ikaw?" Kapos at tanging nasabi ko pagkatapos ng mahaba naming halikan.
I want to pleasure him too.
"I'm fine. Sleep now Priscilla Innana." Saad nito tsaka ako mabilis na hinalikan sa labi.
"I want to pleasure you too." Sabi ko at sinubukan kong tumayo but he put me back on place.
"I am pleasured just hearing you moan my name." Bulong niya at marahan akong hinalikan sa tenga.
I was out of words dahil sa sinabi nito.
Kinumotan niya ang aming katawan and I suddenly feel like sleeping kaya hindi ko mapigilang ipikit ang mga mata ko.
That's the first time we shared a long and sensual kiss.
That felt so good, I am looking forward for more.
I smiled unconsciously as I drift off to sleep.