SKYE WAS THE WORLD'S GREATEST PROCRASTINATOR. SHE WOULD DENY THAT FACT TO ANYONE WHO DARED MENTION IT, BUT IT WAS TRUE. when she'd been in school, skye had always hated doing her assignments. nothing bored or agitated her more than a petty piece of classwork. and it seemed that the passage of time that procrastinators had didn't change with time. at least, not in her case.
the day of the mission had seemed so far away weeks ago. now, there skye was, and it was suddenly the next day that she would find out if she would be going onto enemy lines to drop a bomb on a uranium plant.
how much could change in such little time, she wondered. that she'd come back to fightertown with katia a handful of weeks before, and had successfully managed to fall in love, get rejected, and attend a close friend's funeral. she supposed it would make for some fun stories years from then, but all she could think about was how frustrating it all was.
first of all, she had graduated top of her class at top gun. and yet there she was, getting sidetracked from an important mission by the mere concept of a man. but, of course (as her own mind wouldn't let her forget), he wasn't any man. he was rooster.
rooster, who she thought she'd been in love with for years. who she missed more than she could ever let herself admit, and who she might not be able to see again after the sun went down the next day.
when the mission was done, skye knew that there was absolutely nothing keeping her and rooster together anymore. they'd gone two years without talking, and nothing was stopping him from running away from her as quickly as he could once he didn't have to be around her anymore. maybe he'd even leave the golden warriors so he could be as far away as possible.
but skye was just being dramatic, and no matter how much she was overthinking it, she knew deep down that rooster wouldn't be gone forever. maybe that was just wishful thinking, but she knew him to be better than that. after all, they were both adults. they could have a mature conversation.
oh, right, it was rooster she was talking about. rooster, who could barely go a week without starting some argument or other. and rooster, who most certainly did not want to have a mature conversation about almost anything, would definitely not want to discuss how stupid skye had been about admitting her feelings.
and so, skye reasoned with herself that the best possible outcome was to just hope that rooster would forget about the feelings that she'd confessed to him. that would make things better, right? if he just forgot?
it didn't really matter in the present moment, though, because skye was preparing to go to the hard deck for the final hurrah of the group, and whatever she said or did wouldn't affect anything. the mission was still happening the next morning regardless of what words she and rooster exchanged.
but all skye wanted to do was talk to him and tell him how much she hoped he was okay. how she wanted him to fly the mission, that he deserved it, but that she would've felt better knowing he'd be completely safe. that there wasn't a risk of him getting hurt. that twenty four hours from then, he (or she) could be gone.
it was morbid, she knew. but, hey, she'd just been at a funeral, so skye thought it was justifiable.
no one had expected rooster to show up anyway, and skye didn't know if she was counting on that or not. when the plans were arranged, no one moved to make sure he was listening or agreeing. rooster hadn't really been social for the past week or two.
katia had gotten ready first, of course, and was knocking on skye's door asking her if she was ready to leave soon. "yeah, yeah." the brunette replied, trying not to back out of the plans.
it was a completely normal invitation to go to the hard deck. the entire squadron was invited (including maverick, who no one really expected to show up), and it was going to be a maximum of one drink ordeal. obviously no one could have a hangover the next morning.
the plans were completely valid, and honestly a group outing was welcome in the midst of all the tension the night before a mission. but skye felt like her head was going to explode, and she hadn't even gotten to the bar yet.
"are you still sure about this?" skye had asked katia earlier that same day. "if you don't think it's good for you to be flying, then we won't fly. no questions asked, okay? whatever you need."
katia, as she'd mentioned before, thought that skye was being ridiculous and overprotective. "i'm going to be fine flying tomorrow. if mav picks us, we're flying. end of story."
skye, of course, was still worried about everything that had happened getting to katia. ice's death had obviously affected her, and the last thing skye wanted was for her best friend to pretend that everything was fine just for the sake of flying a mission. a part of her was also worried that katia would just lie and say she was okay if it meant that skye would still be able to go on the mission.
and as much as she appreciated that, skye didn't want it. she wanted katia to be okay, and to take the time off that she needed. but katia assured her that she was fine, and skye had to trust her backseater.
when she and katia arrived at the hard deck, it was about as full as it typically was in the evenings. penny certainly made good business. their squadron-mates were all huddled in their normal corner, and it seemed like there were smiles all around. skye wondered if everybody was faking it, and if they were secretly just as nervous as she was.
once she and katia had weaved their way through the crowd of people and to their friends, the squadron let out cheers of their callsigns and names. phoenix grabbed their hands and pulled the both of them closer to the table. skye forced herself to laugh at this, and smiled at everybody.
hangman was closest to her, which she was thankful for. she knew he was seeing through her facade when he put a hand on her upper back, silently letting her know that he was there for her. she didn't know why she hadn't become friends with him sooner.
"do you want anything to drink?" phoenix asked, already offering to stand and get drinks for everybody. skye hesitated for a second before nodding her head. "you're a pina colada girl, right?"
once again, skye hesitated. "a beer please, actually."
phoenix seemed a bit surprised by the change in drink, which was reasonable given the fact that skye rarely did switch her drinks at the hard deck. "uh.. what kind of beer?"
skye hadn't thought this far. "um.. whatever."
with a nod of her head (and a look that gave away a hint of suspicion and concern), phoenix was off to get drinks for herself, skye, and katia. once she'd gone, hangman looked down at skye. "are you sure you should be drinking?" he asked.
"why shouldn't i be?" she replied, even though she already knew the reasoning he was going to give.
"you seem.. off." he explained.
skye shook her head. "i'm not off." she smiled again to prove it. "i'm just.. in dire need of some jakeass one on one time."
his brows furrowed at her statement, but his lips curved into a smile nonetheless. "the jakeass thing again, really? i thought that was behind us."
"oh, never." she replied. "it was too good of a play on words for me to ever let it go forgotten."
hangman chuckled. "but i thought the other jake was the jakeass?"
skye pretended to look around for him. "well, he's not here right now, and you're the jakeass understudy, i fear." they both smiled at her joke before she had an idea. "hey, what do you say to a round of pool?"
hangman's smile turned into the signature smirk that she'd grown to enjoy rather than despise. "you're on."
they both were barely playing pool, though, more focused on just laughing with each other than following any of the game's rules that they were typically so hard on each other about following. phoenix had brought over skye's drink, but it had been completely forgotten.
rooster had arrived at some point during the game, and skye had managed to look up just in time to see him walk in. her smile faltered for a moment but she pretended it hadn't, looking back at hangman with a laugh. if she looked at rooster again, she didn't think anything would stop her knees from giving out.
once the game was done (no one had won, the two players had just decided they'd rather stand and talk than keep playing), hangman had gotten a concerned look in his eyes again. "you should get some rest, tomorrow is going to be a big day."
"i know." skye said.
hangman seemed to be figuring out what he wanted to say next. "please get some rest. you look exhausted, and i don't want you to get hurt tomorrow because-"
"i don't want to talk about the mission." she interrupted. "please, for tonight, can we just pretend that tomorrow is a normal day? and just.. just have fun for one more night?"
a small smile made its way to his lips, and he nodded. "okay."
"thank you." she smiled back at him. her head dropped onto his shoulder in exhaustion, and he rubbed his hand along her upper back where it had been resting.
rooster had moved to the other side of the bar, where the rest of the squadron was. skye didn't know why he'd even come if he wasn't going to talk to anyone. when she'd looked over at him, he was just sitting there silently, almost as if he were moping. a part of her hoped he was.
she kept tearing her eyes away from him, though, refocusing on hangman, who seemed to always follow her gaze. skye could feel her head spinning again, like it had been when she'd first arrived at the bar. the mission couldn't be the next day.
she risked a glance across the room, and her eyes immediately landed on the piano. it sat in the same spot as always, but it was empty. no rooster at the bench, no skye sitting right next to him. the jukebox was faintly playing, but all skye could think about was her and rooster unplugging it and sitting down at the piano. singing a song until they lost their voices or got kicked out of the bar. she missed him.
"i'm gonna.. go outside. get some air." skye said to hangman, who immediately became concerned.
"are you feeling okay?" his brows were furrowed in genuine concern for her safety and wellbeing, and it made skye feel even more guilty.
she nodded, putting on a smile again. "yeah! yeah, i'm good. just.. want a little quiet for a minute."
she was thankful when he didn't press her on this, simply nodding his head and saying 'okay'. skye went outside, and was surprised to find that the night breeze was colder than normal. it was nice. she could feel her head clearing as she rested her elbows on the railing of the porch.
the ocean was beautiful, she was thinking as she looked out at it. in twelve-ish hours she'd be on an aircraft carrier gliding through the ocean. it didn't feel real.
skye looked down at her bottle of beer, which was still unfinished. maybe she should've gotten her usual pina colada. she was still looking at the liquid as if it was the most intriguing thing in the world when she heard the wooden porch creaking with footsteps.
"so, you and hangman, huh?" rooster said.
skye didn't want to look at him. she already knew that his hands were in his pockets, and he was standing there stupidly. as if he knew everything. as if he had any right to care if she was with hangman or not. which she wasn't. because she loved him. he was so stupid.
"what is it to you?" was her only response. she still didn't look at him.
he moved closer, but he stayed quiet for what felt like hours. he then cleared his throat. "he's not right for you. you deserve someone better."
skye finally turned her head, looking at rooster. he was already looking at her, and she expected him to be making a face. surely he was joking, right? because what made him think he could just say something like that? judging by the look on his face, though, he wasn't joking. he was being completely serious. "excuse me?"
"you deserve someone better." rooster repeated.
a small huff of a scoff came from skye's mouth, and she couldn't help but smile a little. it was funny, honestly. "i'm sorry, and what gives you the right to say what kind of a person i deserve, rooster?"
he seemed stumped on this question, because he was clearly thinking really intently about an answer to it. "because you're still my favorite person, and you deserve the best, and-"
"no." she cut him off. "no, you can't stand here and pretend to care about me." skye said, trying to keep her voice level. she didn't want to have a big fight, she didn't have the energy. "you hurt me, bradley. intentionally or not, you hurt me." she clarified. "you.. you didn't come see me when ice died. when i needed you. and i was vulnerable and i was honest with you, and i feel like.. like you wanted nothing to do with me after it."
skye couldn't stop herself from saying what was on her mind now. she didn't know if she'd ever have the time to say it all ever again.
"and i would understand if you'd just needed space, or time to think or process." skye continued. "but.. but i feel like you completely shut me out, and like you were avoiding me. and that.. that hurt me so much. and you had to have known that it was hurting me, roost. so, please.. please don't stand here and pretend that i'm still your 'favorite person', that you still have a right to tell me who or what i deserve, or act like you have any right to stand here and act like you still care about me when everything you've done has proven the opposite."
rooster shook his head. "i'm not pretending to care about you, skye. i just.. i think you can do better than him."
"i told you know i felt about you." she reminded him. "and you clearly don't feel the same way."
his head tilted with annoyance. "what, and hangman does?"
skye's jaw clenched and she turned her head so she was facing away from him. she wasn't having this argument. "please just go." she hadn't expected her voice to sound as dejected as it did, as weak. she could hear rooster moving to say or do something else, but she was trying not to cry, and she just wanted to be alone. "please."
"i'm sorry." was all rooster said before he disappeared into the bar.
skye let out a small huff of what she was attempting to play off as annoyance, looking down at her beer bottle. she moved it around, watching as the remaining liquid inside sloshed around. she was so mad. she was so frustrated. she missed him so much.
her silence was interrupted again by the sound of footsteps, and she looked over her shoulder to see hangman standing there. "hey." she mumbled.
"hey." he replied, moving closer to her. "i, uh.. i saw bradshaw coming back inside, and.. i wanted to see if you were okay."
"yep." she lied.
hangman nodded, knowing full well that she wasn't telling the truth about that. "can i.. can i say my opinion on something?"
skye shrugged. "floor's all yours."
he nodded again. "before you say anything, i know it isn't my place to give an opinion on this, i just.. i don't think you two should go on this mission when you're upset with each other. i think you need to talk about it, and-"
"well, i don't want to talk to him about it-" she began to argue.
"- the floor's all mine, right?" he interrupted.
skye blinked and then nodded. "uh, yeah. yeah, sorry. finish your thought."
"thank you." hangman said. "look, i.. i like you, skye. i really like you. and i'd love it if i could be the man that you could be with. if i could be the man you're always thinking about, or looking for when you walk into the room. i'd love to be that for you. but.. we both know that i'm not."
a frown made its way to her lips. "jake-"
"let me finish." he interrupted again. "i like you. i care about you more than i care about.. about a lot of things. and that's why.." he ran a hand over his face. "skye, you know as well as i do that i'm not the man you love, okay? and.. and i get it. it's him. it's always been him for you. and i know he hurt you, but i know that it's.. it's mutual. the way you feel." he said. "he loves you. and i don't want to be in the way of you two being happy with each other. not when you both love each other. " he was silent for a moment, seemingly trying to register the look on her face. "that's what i wanted to say."
skye let all of this sit in for a moment. she opened and closed her mouth, trying to figure out what to say. "i'm so sorry."
"for what?"
"i.. if i was leading you on, or if i was-"
"no." hangman shook his head. "no. you didn't. like i said, i.. i get it." he chuckled a little. "i honestly.. i've known for a long time that you two.. that you two were nothing short of meant for each other. i guess i.. i got selfish, and i wanted to take my chances. i wanted you to be happy, you know? you seemed so upset, and i didn't want you to be alone.. but.. but i was selfish. and i wanted you to be happy.. with me. i still want you to be happy, skye. and.. and i think i know now that you're going to be happiest if you're with him."
skye didn't think she was breathing anymore as she looked up at him. she just felt so guilty. here hangman was, explaining to her how much he cared about her. and she wanted so badly to tell him that she would move on from rooster and that she could be with hangman, who had been nothing but supportive to her the past few weeks. but she couldn't. and he knew that.
"thank you." she managed to say.
"for what?"
"everything you've done these past weeks." she replied. "you.. you were there for me when i really, really needed it. and i.. i can never thank you enough for that. you.. you're one of the few people that i swear can read my mind, and you did it every day to keep me smiling and keep me.. sane. and i.. and all i've done is hurt you."
hangman shook his head. "skye, listen to me." he waited until she was looking him in the eyes to continue. "i understand. you didn't lead me on, and you didn't do anything wrong. i want you to be with the man you love. and we both know that that.. isn't me."
skye looked back at her bottle of beer, which was resting on the ledge of the railing, before looking back at him. "can we.. can we still be friends? i mean, now that we.. we're friends, right?"
he laughed. "yes, we're friends. and i'd love to still be your friend."
"and you're sure that i haven't.. that there are no..?"
"no hard feelings." he confirmed. "absolutely none."
skye was almost immediately in his arms, holding onto him tightly. he seemed surprised by this for a moment before he wrapped his arms around her, swaying them both ever so slightly. the tears had begun to swell in her eyes involuntarily. "thank you." she repeated, her face pressed into his shoulder.
"for what?" he repeated again.
"this.. this meant a lot." she said, but she didn't know how to explain it to him at all. how to explain how much it meant to her that he had been there for her. "thank you."
"of course." he replied.
the two of them stopped hugging, and opted instead to look up at the stars, trying to see which of them they could guess. soon, skye was laughing along with him again, her mood just minutes prior almost fully forgotten. soon, she'd completely forgotten about the mission that was to come, and about all that was at stake as a result.
all that she still wanted to say, but knew that she might never get off her chest.