Before this chapter starts Imma do some life updates;
I've been really struggling at school, so I've been prioritizing that.
I also got a new puppy, her names Keiko. She's a 9 month old french labrador.
I've also been on holidays up in Sydney and I saw Billieeee!!!!!!
Best night of my life, here's some pics!! (I'm in the pink didn't change my number shirt)
And here's the aftermath of night 1
Literally put in blood, sweat & tears
Night 2 pics!! BILLIE WINKED AT MEEEEE
SHES SO FUCKING CUTE SHDJSHSJHSHDHD
My life probably wont stop being insane until middle of October! But I do try and I love writing for you.
Also my birthdays coming up like next week what. Already?!
SMALL GIRL, BIG HEART
My eyes peered around the room as I was woken up, my hands reaching out for Billie but touching nothing except a cold sheet. I sat up in bed and looked over to my bedside table to find a sticky note stuck to my lampshade.
"I've gone for a walk. I'm sorry for the way I acted last night. -B"
I pouted. The poor girl probably has so much going on in her head right now. I got up out of bed, threw on some clothes, grabbed my phone off the charger, and headed out the door. I was going to wait for her downstairs since she hadn't realized she couldn't come back up the elevator without my keys.
I stepped out of the elevator and through the sliding doors onto the street. I wrapped my arms around myself tightly as I peered down the road, trying to spot her. Sure enough, in the distance, I could see her walking back with something in her hands.
I started walking down the path to meet her halfway.
"Sorry if I worried you," she said when I got close enough to hear. "I bought you this." She held out a disposable coffee cup. "It's tea, in case you're wondering. You always have them at work," she added. "Thank you, Billie. That's very thoughtful of you," I smiled, taking it. "I came down because you couldn't come back up without these," I said, dangling my keys in front of her, "and because I missed your cute face."
Billie smiled gently.
We turned and started walking back together. "I saw your note, obviously, and you don't have to be sorry for anything. You're good. Promise," I reassured her. "I don't like being vulnerable in front of others, so it makes me act out when I am feeling it," Billie explained. "It's okay. I get it," I nodded.
"I do trust you and all that stuff, but there are just some sides of myself I like to keep hidden from everyone."
"I understand. But it would benefit you to share it with just one special person, though. I'd hate for you to go through your whole life alone. Sharing our deepest, darkest secrets and being vulnerable is what brings us as humans closer," I explained.
Billie shrugged.
"Think about it, okay? There are a lot more people who care about you than you think."We reached my apartment building, so we headed back up to my place. We sort of went our separate ways inside, not necessarily avoiding each other but just doing our own thing. I made myself some breakfast since Billie didn't want any right now.
I've come to learn that she doesn't eat a lot.
After that, I got my laptop out and started doing some job searching. There were plenty of opportunities in healthcare, as it's one of the jobs that is always understaffed and looking for workers, but none of them felt right.
"Harley?"
"Yeah?" I called back. "Come here," Billie replied.
I got up off the couch reluctantly and walked into my bedroom, where I heard Billie. She was perched on the bed, having made herself and me a spot to sit in the nest of blankets. She patted the bed beside her. "You want me to sit down?" I asked.
She nodded.
I climbed up onto the bed and sat down beside her. "What's this about?" I asked gently. "This is me being vulnerable."
Billie opened up to me.
To me.
She had never told anyone about this side of herself except me.
I felt more than special as she scrolled through the hidden folder in her camera roll, where she stored photos and videos of herself regressed. She held the phone out to me, hiding it in her hoodie.
"Can I?" I asked. She nodded, pushing it into my hands. I took it gratefully and began to scroll through the small gallery. "Billie... I can't even say how proud I am of you," I said after a few minutes. She took her phone back from me and turned it off. "This is such a big step for you, and I'm so, so glad you chose me to share this with," I said.
I could see her fighting back a small smile behind her red cheeks. "Come here, let me give you a big hug," I held my arms out to her. She crawled into my lap and let me wrap my arms around her. "Oh, Billie, you are so freaking cute," I sighed, giving her a squeeze.
"Stop," she whined. "You can't just show me a video of you playing with teddy bears and not expect me to smother you with love!" I exclaimed, making her cheeks turn even darker." Since you were so brave, I'm going to be vulnerable as well. I was an only child. I am an only child, I should say. My parents tried to conceive for years, and with the help of IVF, I was born. Then, when I was about 12, my mom fell pregnant again, with a baby girl. But she was stillborn at 20 weeks. Her name was Rowan. The grief of losing her made my parents separate," I told Billie.
"But it sparked something inside of me that absolutely craved wanting to care for a little sister, or a baby, or just anyone younger than me. I have a weird maternal but not maternal instinct. I'm just saying, I like caring for you, and I want to. My entire being wants to." Billie looked at me, her big blue eyes shining through her lashes. "Really?"
"Would I ever lie to you?"
1372 words.