Drained in the rain and its coldness Jeremy never really bother his state. No. He did not feel the cold and gust of the wind nor did he mind the heavy pouring of the rain. All he could feel is the dying pain he had inside of him, unmendable and uncurable.
She's dead. He keep repeating the word over and over again to himself as if by saying it, it would really sink in to his thick skull, but no, it didn't. Damn it didn't. He wanted her alive, he wanted her fighting and surviving. He wanted her near, close to him were he could protect her from the ruins of the world.
Damn. He wanted to have her back, feel her again and see her beautiful smile. He wanted to hear her words and melodic laugh. He wanted his life back, can't the world grant him that? Can't the Supreme being up there grant him that?
What did he do? Hell, what did he do to deserve this? He have done nothing wrong and she had done nothing wrong too. In fact she have done everything for the ones she love, and what did she have? Pains and sufferings, and when she already had her piece, He grant her sickness and killed her!
Screw you! You do not exist! You. Do. Not. Exist! His mind kept on saying as he watch the stormy skies and let the heavy droplets hide his tears in his face.
"Jeremy." Emily said worrying on his brother in law's state. He was drenched in cold water rains and he is kneeling still on her sister's graveyard, helpless.
Her heart ache for the loss of her sister, she was orphaned at a young age. Her sister, protector and constant friend is the only one left for her and now she was gone. Gone forever were she would not return again. Gone to the other world where she could no longer visit her except in her dreams. So yes, her heart aches in every beat but her heart shatters seeing Jeremy desperately in his position, pleading to God to let her live.
Grabbing enough of his scene she went to him with her umbrella trying to give him some shade. Then she kneel closer to him and pat his back.
"Its time to go. .we need to go." She said to him unsure if he had heard her. He seems to be still and looking on the tombstone as if cursing it for being there.
She tried harder, she gently squeezed his shoulder trying to gain his attention but to no avail, for the world doesn't seem to revolve around him. The world just stop spinning and its colors went pure dark.
He was frozen in time. Froze over her last memory with her where she had made a huge cherry blossom 3D just to make her see the lovely trees.
"She's happy now Jeremy. .and I know she want us to be happy too." Emme said trying to said those words to herself too. Yes, she had suffered loss before and that kind of loss is shattering. But today, the loss was deafening and sickening as if it slaps her that to the times she had held luxury and out of pain and harms way, her sister had dealt demons for her. She can't repay it, she never can but Ariel word's were right that even if wherever her sister would be she would always want her to stay strong and to be happy, no matter what.
But Jeremy took her words differently snapping he pushed her away with rage.
"You don't know what I feel! You never knew how I feel!"
Stumbling, the umbrella slipped through her hand and she landed on the ground, getting soak with the rain and mudded with the land that has been used to bury her sister.
Taken aback but angry at his response she stood over, towering him. "Your not the only one who'd lost her! She's my sister!" She stormed and wanted to shout to him that it wasn't her fault and that she didn't really know. She, she even blame herself for that.
"And she's my Goddamn Wife!" He replied with over rage. His eyes burning with immense pain and accusation over her.
"You need to face the truth that she's dead!" She yelled, she so wanted to slap him and wake him up. She wanted him to face the music.
The place, where the funeral was celebrated were already empty, except for Jeremey and Emily, and her sister's closest friend Ariel who had just been silent the whole service and the whole argument. He was too weak to himself to say something, too weak to argue and too weak to cry. Standing few feets away from the two, Ariel just look at Jeremy's shattered being, his whole heart were obviously poured out just like his own. Well, he might not be Cassandra's husband but he had loved her since he laid eyes on her, and that was when he was still in college. Its been like what, 12 years or so? He didn't really know. He had not count time with her, not until they said her time was counted that he learned to dread time and to count it with hope of expanding it. But hell, death is something you can't cheat. Its something once knocking at your door it would no longer go away.
"Shut up!!" Jeremy shouted over her as he stood leveling himself with her and almost restraining himself not to stanggle her to death too.
"No! You need to listen! She's dead and you need to face it!"
"Shut up!" with that fierce word fly a slap that landed heavily on her cheek. She almost broke her neck with the impact. Feeling her cheeks she feel like it was burned but beyond that is his menacing eyes, cold as frost and far as lightyears.
Then and there she knew, his dead too that her sister's death had killed him and that he had not survived the same catastrophe. He was barely breathing and moving but rottenly dead and lifeless.
Ariel on the other side feel suddenly alarmed at the sudden turn of event. Moving his weak body he run to aid Emily on the rain and pulled her away, away from Jeremy.
Defeated, Emme let herself get dragged but her eyes remain on him as if wishing she could see again the light in his eyes. The forgotten glitters on it, his crooked smile, or his grin. She wanted to see him alive, not dead too. But its all wishful thinking and she knew to herself that in that graveyard lies only one body but two hearts and soul.
She mourned for her sister and eventually she knew she'll gonna mourned for him too.
Still standing and raging, Jeremy just look at Emme being pulled away. She doesn't know what she was saying, she's stupid and she's irresponsible. His mind would say. No. He can't accept it. He can't. He just can't!
Weakened again he went back to his position sit there and hugged her tombstone until who knows how long. . . . .
Death. . .the two kinds of death a person could have. To die and perished in a body or to die and perished in your soul of emotions. The latter was harder to managed and though they may lived, living was far from them.