The usual workday stress was building up again. You looked down at the pile of reports in front of you that seemed to grow as the day crept on. If you'd known how lazy the deputies were with their paperwork, you probably wouldn't have taken this job. It'd only been a couple of months but the pressure was almost becoming too much. Almost.
There was one thing that kept you going. One thing that got you through the huge stack of files placed on your desk every morning. One tall, dark, handsome thing: Sheriff Lee Bodecker.
You knew it was wrong to have an affair with your boss, especially your recently divorced, significantly older boss, but you couldn't help it. One cold night, both of you snowed in the station, only each other's body heat to keep you warm. Well, one thing led to another and now you were counting down the minutes until you could make an excuse to enter his office.
Placing down the report you'd completed, you peered your head into the deputies' desk area. There were only a few of them left in there. Some scribbled down notes as they took phone calls. A couple were discussing the raid from last night. One was asleep in his chair. This was perfect. The rest must have gone out on patrol.
You quietly stood from your seat and stepped towards the break room. It wasn't necessarily in your job description to make coffee but you knew Lee hardly got any time to leave his office, let alone have a break. You poured two mugs and placed them onto a tray, along with the jug of milk and the pot of sugar. Lee would always joke that you were trying to sweeten him up, but he'd still have two sugars even if you weren't making the coffee for him.
The thing you two had was complicated. You hoped it was more than just hooking up. You were falling in love with him, but you couldn't admit that. Not to yourself and certainly not to him. Maybe you were just a way of blowing off steam whilst he was at work. You knew he had a reputation for visiting Tecumseh, which you'd heard was not just a bar but also a brothel. What if you were just another whore to him?
Self-doubt swam through your mind until tears began forming in your eyes. No. You needed to stop this. He couldn't see you this way. Even if you were just another person to fuck, at least he chose to be with you. A tear ran down your cheek but you brushed it aside and grabbed the tray.
Once again, you glanced over to the deputies, double checking that no one would notice you. It was fine. Everything was going to be fine. You willed your legs to move but they remained frozen. What if he was fucking other people? What if he stopped by the bar after he was done with you? What if he got bored and moved on to someone else? The fear of rejection was too much.
You emptied the mugs into the sink and moved back to your desk. Those reports weren't going to write themselves.
**********
After hours of stolen vehicles, shoplifting and a few drug busts, you'd finally finished all of last week's reports. It was nearing eight pm as you gathered your things and headed for the door. Everyone seemed to have left already - everyone except him.
The light in his office was still on and you'd have to walk past his window to leave the building. You smiled at the thought. It was almost the exact situation as when you got together. Except for the lack of snow and your anger with him. Wait. Why were you angry with him? He hadn't done anything wrong yet. And it's not like you were exclusive. Were you exclusive? You'd never spoken about what your relationship was. Or if it was anything.
Without giving it another thought, you pushed your way through his office door. His jacket was slung over the back of his chair as he hunched over a pile of paperwork. He looked up at you with tired eyes.
"Hey, sweetheart," a wave of calmness washed over him as he smiled at you, "I missed you today. You didn't come and see me."
"You don't come and see me," you mumbled; the tears returning to your eyes.
"Oh sweetie, don't cry," he pushed his chair back and patted his right leg, "Come here and tell me what's wrong."
You rushed over to him. Straddling his waist, you placed yourself on his thighs, careful not to mess up his uniform. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer. His mouth brushed over your ear. The familiar warmth of his embrace only made you weep harder.
"Shhhh, darling. Let it all out" he ran his hand soothingly through your hair. Pulling back slightly, he placed a kiss on your forehead, "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong or am I gonna have to kiss it out of ya?"
The tears had stopped by now but you still couldn't look him in the eye. Instead, you kept your head down. You could see how his shirt was stretched over his stomach. His tummy was one of your favourite things about him. You only really got to appreciate it when you stayed over at his place. You loved how cuddly it was in the mornings, how warm it was whilst you spooned, how soft it was when you went down on him. But now all you could do was lean against it as Lee comforted you.
"I'll take that as I have to kiss it out of ya sweetheart."
He tilted your head up with his hand and placed his lips on yours. Every kiss with Lee was intoxicating. It felt like the best and the worst high all at once. Not that you'd had much experience with drugs. He often tasted like whiskey and smoke. Sometimes of sweets and chocolate. But tonight he tasted like coffee and bourbon. It wasn't until he pulled away that you spoke.
"You've been drinking Sheriff."
"Quite the little detective you are darling," he chuckled, "Someone didn't bring me my usual cup of coffee this morning, so I had to improvise with coffee liqueur and bourbon. But it was only a little sweetheart."
He brushed your hair behind your ear, "Now who do I need to beat up for making my best girl cry?"
"It's you, Lee."
"I don't understand."
"I'm crying because of you," he sat silently, waiting for you to continue, "Because you are everything to me and I'm just another whore to you."
"What are you on about sweetie? You're not a whore."
"But those other girls are," your voice wavering.
"There are no other girls, doll. Why would I want someone else when I have you? I haven't even stepped foot in Tecumseh since we've been together."
"Are we even together?"
"Of course, we're together darling," you thought you saw a tear welling up in his eye, "Did you think we weren't together?"
"I don't know Lee. We never discussed it. I have to go to you if I want to spend time with you. You practically ignore me at work. You just drive me to yours, fuck me and then drive me home in the morning."
"Oh sweetheart, do you really feel like that?"
"I'm just your little fuck toy," you confessed.
"Never say that about yourself again," he stood up, still holding your legs around his waist, "I'm gonna show you that you're so much more than that."
**********
Neither of you spoke during the car ride but you knew where he was taking you. The familiar trees of Brewer Heights flickered under the streetlamps. You needed to finish your conversation with him or finish things with him. He ushered you through the front door. Pulling off your jacket, he guided you up the stairs, hands around your waist, desperate to embrace you again.
When you reached his bedroom, he began taking off both his and your clothes. You knew what was going to happen. He wasn't going to let you talk. He was just going to fuck you and fall asleep, leaving you aching for comfort as you try to cuddle him.
You stood in your underwear waiting for him to start. But he never did. Instead, he took off his undershirt and pulled it over your head. It was still warm. You stared in disbelief as he led you towards his bed. He lay you down under the covers, before moving over to the other side and joining you. Propping himself up on the pillows, he stretched out his arms and pulled you towards him. His embrace spiked the tears in your eyes again.
"I'm sorry that I made you feel so worthless darling," he shifted so you could lie on his chest, "You are everything to me too. I'm sorry I can't speak to you whilst we're at work. I'm sorry I fall asleep before we can cuddle. I'm sorry I didn't remind you how much I love you."
"You love me?" your heart was pounding as you asked the question.
"Of course I love you," he kissed your hair and pulled your leg over him so that you were now laying fully on top of him. Your arm wrapped around his soft tummy.
"I love you too Lee," you declared.
"I promise to visit your desk at work. I promise to steal a kiss when I can. I promise to let every deputy in there know you're mine."
"But what about your reputation? Lee, your campaign for Sheriff is coming up. What are people going to say about you seducing your employee?"
"Who cares what they think? And if I recall, it was you who was doing the seducing sweetheart," he chuckled.
"Do you really mean that?"
"I love you more than anything darling. I would take being with you over being the Sheriff any day."
"I love you, Lee," you lay your head down on his chest and concentrated on the pattern of his breathing, "It feels so good to say that."
"I know it does sweetie, now let's get some rest."
You closed your eyes, lulled to sleep by the weight of his arm, the softness of his body and the comfort of his loving affirmations. Everything was going to be okay.