I haven't spoken to Ares since yesterday. I've avoided him at every turn, because all I could recall was Maya. And her words. And his silence.
We're in Toronto. The others have left for the venue already. I stayed behind because I slept in.
I exit the elevators, and the one next to mine pings, signaling the arrival of one. Ares steps out with Kyle by his side.
Averting my eyes before they can meet Ares', I clear my throat and continue down the hallway.
"Elena!"
The world seems to slow when I hear the familiar voice, and disbelief crosses my face when I turn my head to see my sister.
And Nicholas.
Gasping, I cover my mouth and start off running toward my siblings, suddenly feeling incredibly homesick.
Nicholas' and Aurora's arms around me, cause my eyes to burn and I tighten my grip on them.
"Surprise," Nicholas chuckles and gives me a squeeze.
"I've missed you guys," I choke out. Being months away from home is weighing down on me, especially since it's been my first time.
I've enjoyed my time touring, but there's no place like home.
I'm going home soon, in a month or so.
"We missed you too," Aurora says and presses a kiss on my temple. "I'm attending every show in New York, but I couldn't wait any longer to see you and flew out here."
"Who knew that I'd miss your annoying ass, huh?" Nicholas grins when we pull back from each other.
I roll my eyes and flip him off. It's then that I also notice Riccardo standing next to my sister, a softened look in his eyes as he proudly looks at me.
"Riccardo!" I smile and hug him as well. "How you've been, Elena?" he asks, wrapping his arms around Aurora as soon as I step back.
He pulls his wife closer to her as if the thought of her being away from him for too long bothers him.
"I'm exhausted but good," I answer. I glance around for the kids, but Aurora tells me that they're with mom and dad.
"A weekend of peace," she sighs and closes her eyes, leaning back into Riccardo. "I miss Alyssa, though," she then adds. Riccardo smiles down at her, his eyes filled with love.
"I miss the boys as well, even though they're a pain in the ass already at such a young age."
"Everything okay, lil sis?" Nicholas asks and steps closer to me, "you seemed... sad when you came out of the elevator."
I try to give him my best-assuring smile and nod. "Yeah, everything's great."
I feel Aurora's eyes on me, but don't look at her. "Well, I was headed for the venue. You guys wanna come?"
"Of course," Aurora scoffs as if that was obvious. "I want to see my sister rock her shit tonight."
"Hey," Delilah murmurs when she takes a seat in front of me. She's got all her supplies ready and is cleaning my face before she'll apply any makeup.
"Hey," I reply meekly. Delilah seems worn-out. Her mascara is smudged and her hair is pulled into a messy bun, some strands escaping.
Her cheeks are sunken in and there are some bags underneath her eyes.
I frown, worry about her immediately settling in.
"How are you? How's the tour going for you? Are you happy to go back home soon?" I can't help myself from asking these questions.
Delilah's been my friend for three years and has been there for me every time I needed her. I'm concerned.
"I'm okay," she reassures me with a weak smile. "Traveling has just taken a toll on me," she shrugs and starts to work on my makeup.
"But the tour has been amazing thus far," she then says, but I can tell she's lying. There's a frown on her face and the corners of her lips are tugging downward. She didn't look in my eyes when she lied and scratched her neck.
An immense amount of guilt falls over me at the fact that I dragged her with me on this tour. She agreed to come, but she didn't know what she signed up for.
We both didn't know how hard we'd grow apart.
"Very interesting," she then continues. "I'm glad I got to see the world. And I've gotten to know a lot of people."
It gets quiet between us as she focuses on my face, applying concealer and foundation to my skin.
"And how are you?" she asks, turning around to rummage in her bag.
"I'm okay," I repeat her earlier words. "Exhausted and I'm looking forward to going home and making more music. I love performing, but it's time for me to be a lazy fuck again."
At this, she cracks a smile and I see a glimpse of the girl I used to know. Of the lively woman who became one of my closest friends.
I miss her.
"You deserve some rest," she agrees and is quick with doing my makeup. I bet she could do it blindfolded.
"The tour has exhausted everyone, but you'll be quick to go on another tour again, I'm sure," she chuckles, "you love being on stage."
"I do," I grin and close my eyes when she applies eyeshadow and eyeliner. Soon enough, Delilah is done and staying behind in the dressing room.
I step out and close the door behind me. But my mood quickly sours when I see Ares leaning against the wall opposite the room, looking right at me.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, feeling as if all the air has left my body. "I wanted to talk to you," he says and takes a step closer to me.
"And you are?"
I grow pale upon hearing my sister's voice.
This is so much worse than when mom and dad met Ares.
Ares looks at her behind me, and then my sister dearest appears at my side with her husband.
Her eyes are dead-set on Ares, unwavering and lethal.
"I'm Ares," he introduces himself. "You must be Elena's sister."
"Aurora Amoretto Silvestro," my sister says, tilting her head to the side and giving Ares her full assessment.
"Aren't you the drummer from that band?" Riccardo asks and extends his hand, "Riccardo Silvestro, nice to meet you."
Got to give it to Ric for always being so fucking kind.
"Likewise," Ares replies and shakes the man's hand. "And yes, I'm the drummer from Dopamine," he chuckles.
"Ayo, I love that band," comes another voice, and I blanch when I see my brother heading for us, having just flirted with one of the staff. I internally roll my eyes.
"I'm Nicholas Amoretto," Nicholas grins and goes to stand by my side, slinging his arm over my shoulder.
"Ares Aetos, I was just introducing myself to your other sister," Ares says, but his eyes often find mine.
"What did you need my sister for?" Aurora asks, narrowing her eyes at the man in front of me.
"I wanted to talk to her," he answers, but keeps his eyes on me, "you've got a minute, Butterfly?"
I clench my jaw and look into his eyes. "I still need to prepare myself for the show," I say and take a step back, "so no, I don't."
With that, I turn around and start walking away. Aurora is by my side immediately and casts Ares another sharp glance over her shoulder.
"You've got something to tell me, Elena?" she asks, but all I do is shake my head.
"Nothing worth mentioning, Rory."
Aurora hasn't pushed for any information. We're sitting on the terrace of the hotel, enjoying a few drinks.
Riccardo and Nicholas are indulged in a conversation, so they're not paying any attention to us.
"Has Riccardo ever made you feel unwanted?" I suddenly ask her.
My sister peers over at me and takes a sip from her drink. A rum and coke.
"Plenty of times," she snorts, "made it pretty fucking clear he didn't want me."
"Wasn't it... hurtful for you? The rejection?"
"It was, but I'm not a quitter," she chuckles and takes another sip. That's true.
She's always been confident. Fearless, not hesitating to take something she wants or do anything to achieve greatness.
She takes risks.
"It didn't faze me for a while because I relied on confidence. It's all about confidence, Elena. Even if you have to fake it. If you're hurting because of some stupid ass dude, is he really worth all these feelings, then?"
I've got a feeling she knows who I'm talking about and why I'm asking these questions. But once again, she doesn't push or pry.
She knows I like to take my time opening up.
"I've just... I feel like I've been infatuated with him from the very first moment we met. Something about him was so intriguing and I couldn't stop myself from wanting to get to know him. I fell into this deep pit where I became so engrossed with him. And now... I've spent so much time with him, it's gotten worse, and fuck, Aurora I think I've fallen more in love with him."
She presses her lips together and lets her eyes roam over my face, in concern.
"Do you think you'll get hurt in the end?" she asks and tilts her head to the side. I swallow and take another sip of my drink. A lemonade.
"Possibly," I whisper.
"For some weird reason, Riccardo doesn't seem to think he's that bad," Aurora scoffs and shakes her head.
"Listen, I want to prevent anything that could hurt you. If it were up to me, I'd coddle you and keep you safe from everything and everyone. You're my little sister, Elena. I love you so much. But, as the big sister and supposedly the wiser one, I should tell you that you need to live. Experiencing all your feelings is normal. These memories you're creating right now, make you who you are. They're a part of you and shape you into the beautiful human being that I know. I'd love nothing more than to protect you from getting your heart broken, but all I can do is make sure you don't crash too hard and get back up."
"I love you," I murmur into my glass and she laughs, giving me a hug. "Riccardo hurt me as well, you know," she says.
"I tried to push him away at some point, but he refused. If the person you're upset about, cares about you, they'll put in the same effort and fight for you."
That's what I'm scared of.
That I don't matter enough to him to even fight for me.
I come back to my room very late at night. I stayed out at dinner with my family until one in the morning.
Aurora and Riccardo mentioned that they booked a hotel room and Nicholas was caught up flirting with the waitress, so who knows where he'll end up tonight.
I step into my room and take off my heels, sighing out in relief. I immediately follow my nighttime routine and wash my face before taking a quick shower and getting into more comfortable clothes, which are just a pair of cotton shorts and a top.
I should've expected the knock at my door, but it still startles me. I don't even need to look through the peep-hole to know who it is before I throw the door open.
"What?" I groan at Ares.
"Got time to talk, asteráki?" he asks and leans in, supporting his weight on the doorframe and making his muscles bulge.
I swallow and take a step to the side, wanting to get this over with. I close the door and watch Ares walk into my room, taking a seat on my bed.
I manage to keep my distance from him, standing a few feet away from him. Because I know that if I near him, I'll get sucked into him and be putty in his hands.
But Ares seems to think otherwise because he reaches his hand out to mine and tugs me closer.
When I'm close enough, he wraps his arms around me and rests his head on my collarbone.
"I'm sorry that Maya attacked you," he begins lowly. "I didn't know she'd do that. Figured she'd just leave based on how angry she got."
"Why did she get angry?" I ask, hating myself for relaxing in his hold.
But when he doesn't answer, I go to pull away but all he does is tighten his grip on me.
"Ares," I groan, "you're pissing me off."
"And you drive me insane," he breathes and his hands slide down to the back of my thighs, where he lifts me up so I can straddle him.
"Maya surprised me last night by showing up. She said she wouldn't leave if I didn't talk to her, and I didn't want to cause a scene," he begins, his hands sliding over my bare skin.
"She's never gotten over our break-up," he then goes on.
"Have you?" I ask and raise my eyebrows.
I've read the lyrics of a few of his songs. It's painfully obvious that they're about her. He seemed hung up on her up until a few months ago.
"Yes, I have," he answers, "Maya was trying to get back with me, but she wouldn't listen whenever I'd try to step in and say we were done."
"I noticed, when she fucking slapped me," I sigh and feel myself getting worked up again. "This is bullshit, Ares. Why won't you tell me why the fuck she attacked me? I deserve to know."
"She's just jealous," is all he says, but I've got a feeling that that's not all. I open my mouth to ask further questions, but he beats me to it.
"Your sister is fucking terrifying, by the way."
That gets a chuckle out of me. "She is, isn't she? I mean, as a lawyer she has to be."
"Makes sense," he murmurs and plants a kiss on my neck, "she wouldn't stop firing questions at me. Neither did her husband."
I frown and lean back. "When did you talk to her?"
"At the show," he answers, "from behind the stage."
"You attended the show?" I ask and he chuckles.
"When have I not?"
The fact that he has come to my every show and has admitted it so easily, leaves me speechless and blushing.
"She grilled me like it was a murder investigation," he continues, "with her husband acting like her partner in crime. Your brother gave me the classic threat."
My cheeks are flaming hot and I get off his lap, wanting some fresh air. Fuck fuck fuck. This is embarrassing.
Opening up the French doors, I step onto the balcony and let the cool air caress my face to lessen my burning face.
Ares immediately joins me on the balcony and instead takes a seat on the couch, tilting his head as he looks at me.
"I don't know why she came to talk to you," I sigh, "and I don't know what the fuck my brother said, but this shit is embarrassing. I don't know why they felt the need to say something to you."
"It's normal for girls to talk about their crushes, Butterfly."
"I don't have a crush on you!" I exclaim but don't even know why I bother to lie when it's so fucking obvious.
He only shrugs. "S'okay, I have one on you."
"Who the fuck are you?" I gape and take a step closer to him. "And what have you done to the guy who hated my guts?"
He looks up at me with an amused grin and takes my hand, leading me to sit next to him on the couch outside.
He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him, burying his head in the crook of my neck and letting out a long breath.
As if he's finally relaxed now.
"I— I'm trying to, uh... communicate," he tells me, as if unsure of his words.
"I'm sorry for how I treated you," he whispers. "You didn't deserve that, I know. Pushing people away is all I've done my entire life. But pushing you away seems impossible. You're a little star and I keep revolving around you."
There are instant tears springing to my eyes at his words, and I'm glad his head is tucked into my neck so he can't see them.
I've only dreamed about someone saying words laced with such care and wonder. It was only in my dreams that Ares was this sweet.
This gentle.
Only in my dreams and the figure I made up in my head whenever I wrote songs.
It feels like I'm dreaming.
"You're not," he says and I feel his grin against my skin. "I said that out loud?" I ask and he makes an affirmative sound.
I tilt my head back to blink away the tears and am met with the starry sky.
"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like a mistake," he then says, "I never meant to hurt you with those words. Because you're not a mistake to me, I figured that you were regretting it and wanted someone else to do it. Someone... better."
"I'm glad you're telling me all of this," I whisper and relax in his hold, molding our bodies together on the couch. "It did make for one hell of a Grammy performance, though. Really channeled my anger."
"It did," he grins and shifts a bit, so his head is closer to mine and he presses a kiss on my jaw. "You looked so fucking stunning, Butterfly."
Ares has changed. He's let go of the tension he's carrying and looks a bit more carefree.
"So did you," I whisper back and wrap my arms around him as well.
"My dad always told me that I would never be able to have the good things in life," he suddenly begins, "so that's why I pushed you away all those times. I shouldn't have, but his words got imprinted in my mind."
It's hard to come up with a good response for this, other than the fact that he didn't deserve to be treated that way, he didn't deserve to be emotionally abused and physically.
So, I tell him exactly that.
"It's okay, Butterfly, I've worked past it and barely speak to my parents, except my mom sometimes."
It's quiet between us for a few seconds. We stare up at the stars, lying together and existing in peace.
"My dad always hit me when I used to sing," he then says, "or whenever I'd touch the drum set my mother bought for me. Said I was supposed to focus on school."
His gaze is focused on the stars, and he seems to be lost in his thoughts. It's as if he's recalling memories and thinking out loud.
"You don't have to say anything you're uncomfortable with," I assure him, but am beyond happy that he's finally sharing something personal with me.
"No, it feels good to finally share it with someone and say it out loud. I used to sing all the time. I loved it. I loved to do a lot of things. Like play the drums and learn how to get better. Music is all I wanted to do. Starting from when I was a child. My father didn't like that. For every little thing I'd do, he'd drag me down to the basement and beat the shit out of me. For a while, I didn't sing anymore or touched the drums. The wounds were barely healing when he'd hit me again, and I grew scared."
"B-but you're a singer now, and a drummer," I bring out, feeling my lower lip starting to wobble.
He chuckles. "Fuck yeah, I'm doing what I've always loved and taking back my power. Proved to the asshole that I can make it. Did the thing I love and he hates. Feels like being on a high."
"I'm proud of you, Ares," I whisper. "And I'm proud of the kid you used to be. You're so strong, I admire you for it."
He's silent, and then he gives me a squeeze and presses a kiss on my forehead.
"Den xéro ti mou káneis, Petaloúda. Me écheis tylíxei gýro apó to dáchtyló sou."
. . .
"I don't know what you're doing to me, Butterfly. You've got me wrapped around your finger."
Soft Ares>>>>>
Chapter feels like shit but eh.
What do you think is going to happen next?
Can anyone recommend some good shows? Thanks.
Btw, people saying 'ily' irl grosses me out for some reason.
Hope you enjoyed today's chapter sksksks and thanks for reading.
I love you.