Jungeun wouldn't call herself oblivious or inattentive (she could be quite observant when she wanted to be), but looking back, she realized that she tended to be a bit out of the loop sometimes. One of those times was when Sooyoung shared some shocking news during one of their hangouts with her and Jiwoo.
"Jinsol keeps whining about how she's so sad and alone and wants a girlfriend," Sooyoung groaned, chewing on the straw of her drink. Loudly, she slurped up the remainder of her drink, and Jungeun had to physically restrain herself from rolling her eyes to the back of her skull.
Sooyoung and Jiwoo had been deep in conversation while Jungeun had been long gone and was spaced out on the creepy clown statue standing near the entrance of the burger joint they sat in.
"And so I'm like, 'why don't you just confess?', but no, she says that's not an option."
Jungeun has no idea how they had gotten to this topic when originally they had been talking about their practices and how tiring they had been lately, but she supposed she hadn't been paying the best attention.
"Huh? What? Jinsol-unnie likes someone?" Jungeun asked, eyes wide in surprise. She hadn't been informed of this.
Sooyoung and Jiwoo shared a look—as if Jungeun was being kept from some big secret that everyone else in the world knew—before turning back to Jungeun with odd expressions on their faces.
"O-Oh yeah, she didn't tell you?" Sooyoung asked, seemingly trying to suppress a smirk. What was that all about?
"No? Jiwoo, did you know about this?" Jungeun looked over at her best friend expectantly, who only shrugged sheepishly in response. Jungeun rolled her eyes. "Unbelievable. I'm texting her right now."
Jungeun quickly unlocked her phone and clicked on her thread of messages with the older girl, typing in a quick message. There were many things she wanted to ask, but she decided to go with a blunt 'you like someone?' to which Jinsol soon replied with a single unhelpful zipper-mouth emoticon.
Jungeun sighed in defeat, shutting off her phone. "Of course she says that."
Now that the idea was planted in her head, Jungeun was determined to find out where Jinsol's affections lay. She blamed it on her stubbornness and Jinsol for being so cryptic and mysterious with her response, definitely not the heavy feeling of dread pooling inside her stomach.
/
"Alright, let's take a five minute break before running through it one more time," their choreographer called out, clapping her hands together resolutely.
Jungeun sauntered off to the side to grab her water bottle, leaning against the wall to give her knees some relief. She let her eyes drift as she hungry finished the remaining water in the disposable plastic bottle, her gaze landing on the trio of members born two years before her. Haseul and Sooyoung were huddled around Jinsol, poking at her and saying something that caused the blonde to redden and swat at them.
Jungeun chuckled at the sight. She found it amusing how easily flustered Jinsol could get despite being one of the main people who teased those around her.
Suddenly, a face popped up right in front of her, startling her and blocking her view. There was a smug grin tugging at the corners of the offender's lips.
"Whatcha' looking at?"
Jungeun nearly leaped out of her skin, trying her best not to scream. "Wha— Hyeju?!"
The tall girl laughed loudly, squeezing the shoulder of the short redhead whom she'd dragged along with her to bug Jungeun.
"You should have seen the look on your face!" Jungeun rolled her eyes, wondering if this was the appropriate time to bring up her furry tendencies. "But anyway, what were you even looking at? You were making this weird face." Hyeju made a pinched expression, imitating Jungeun. The younger girl followed her line of sight before landing on the focus of her attention, her eyebrows shooting up nearly to her hairline and an annoyingly knowing smirk adorning her face.
"Oh shush, it's not what you think," Jungeun mumbled, avoiding both Hyeju and Chaewon's amused stares.
Hyeju must have been feeling extra daring that evening, continuing to poke at the irritable and uncaffeinated bear. "Oh? Then what was I thinking, hm?"
Jungeun glared at her, huffing and stomping off to go recycle her empty bottle. When she returned, Hyeju and Chaewon were still there, the shorter girl pestering Hyeju about when she'd let her take her shopping to buy some colorful clothing that wasn't only black or white. It reminded her a bit of when Jungeun would drag Jinsol to the mall with her as her companion (bag-carrier, as Jinsol would grumble).
Then, a thought dawned on Jungeun as she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. "Did Jinsol ever...mention a potential crush she had on someone?"
The question seemed to startle the two as they both stared incredulously at her before exchanging glances, silently communicating something Jungeun couldn't understand.
"Uh, maybe? Why are you asking?" Chaewon queried, tilting her head to the side.
Jungeun felt the heat creeping up her neck as she scrambled to reply, "N-No reason. I was just curious, that's all."
Unfortunately for her, Jinsol chose that exact moment to look over, meeting Jugeun's embarrassed eyes. The taller girl's face broke out into a dazzling and very much swoon worthy smile, her eyes crinkling happily at the corners. Jungeun tried her best to mask the way her face reddened like a ripe tomato and sent Jinsol a small smile in return.
Hyeju nodded slowly at her as if she didn't fully believe her, snickering at the exchange she had just watched. "Right."
Before either of the two could ask her more questions, their choreographer called them back to practice. Jungeun felt a wave of relief wash over her.
So, she told them but not me? Huh.
Jungeun didn't notice the way Jinsol's gaze lingered on her even after she had looked away.
/
The next couple days pass by like a blur, uneventful and Jungeun's mind being elsewhere for the majority of them, her body on auto-pilot. Some of the other members noticed, giving her concerned glances or asking if everything was okay. And to which she would respond the same. I'm alright, don't worry.
There was, of course, one specific person she secretly hoped would notice. She hoped that they watched her and noticed her subtle cues, that they had even a little bit of concern or worry for her, that they cared.
(Jinsol did.)
When a bag of takeout from her favorite chicken restaurant along with a small slip of paper with familiar handwriting taped to the top appeared in front of her bedroom door, she nearly cried. Whether it was out of tiredness or the stinging sensation in her heart because of how thoughtful Jinsol was—Jungeun wasn't sure.
"Yerimie."
Jungeun sat, curled up in the corner of the couch as she hugged one of the throw pillows—the navy one that smelled vaguely of Jinsol's perfume—tightly.
The youngest member of her sub-unit, and also the only other person around since everyone else was either in their rooms or out doing something else, pulled her eyes off the screen and looked over at Jungeun.
"Yeah?"
Jungeun bit her tongue, trying her best to make sure the words came out correctly.
"Do you...do you think Jinsol trusts me?"
That comment seemed to jolt Yerim out of her half-awake-half-asleep state as her eyes widened and she keeled over, choking on the sip of water she had taken. Jungeun rushed over to her, slapping her on the back gently to help clear her throat. Yerim gasped for air, coughing into her elbow as she stared at Jungeun in utter disbelief.
"What?! Of course she does!" Yerim exclaimed, a heavy frown on her lips that tugged at Jungeun's heart. "Why would you think she doesn't?"
Jungeun sighed and let her head fall back to stare up at the ceiling. "I don't know...I know I'm not the most inviting person and so maybe I thought she didn't feel comfortable talking to me about stuff, I guess."
Yerim reached up and flicked Jungeun on the forehead, causing the pink-haired girl to yelp and jut out her bottom lip. "Hey! That hurt!"
"Unnie." Yerim narrowed her eyes at her as Jungeun squirmed in her spot. "Do you realize that you're the only one Jinsol-unnie talks to when she's upset? Do you realize that when she gets sick, you're the only one she lets take care of her? Honestly, Jungeun-unnie, I know Jinsol-unnie trusts you. Do you know that?"
"W-Well," Jungeun gnawed on her lip. Yerim did make some pretty good points. However, Jungeun still had trouble believing her. "If she trusted me, why didn't she tell me she liked someone?" she said in a small voice, avoiding the younger girl's eyes. She had to wonder why something as small as that bothered her so much.
"Wait." Yerim blinked, slack-jawed and gaping at the older. "Is that what this was all about? Because Jinsol-unnie wouldn't tell you who she liked?"
Jungeun nodded shamefully, staring down at her hands that rested in her lap. Then, Yerim burst out laughing, confusing Jungeun greatly. Was there something she didn't know?
"Wow," Yerim managed to get out between gasps for air.. "I can't believe you two. Just talk to her, unnie. That's all you need to do to get this sorted out. It's just Jinsol-unnie, you know. Nothing to be afraid of."
Jungeun raised a dubious eyebrow, but didn't comment, and returned her attention to the television.
"'It's just Jinsol' what?" a voice from behind them piped in, spooking the two girls.
Both Jungeun and Yerim turned rapidly to see Jinsol rounding the corner of the hallway. She looked at them expectantly as she sat down onto the couch next to Jungeun, snuggling up to her. The shorter girl blushed, but let Jinsol wrap a loose arm around her shoulders. Yerim snickered as Jungeun glared daggers at her.
"I thought you were still working," Jungeun commented, head resting on Jinsol's shoulder. The older girl had been asked to write and produce a song for their upcoming album, and Jungeun knew how hard Jinsol had been working on it.
(It was often that she would come into their shared room to find the older girl conked out on her desk, pencil in hand and drooling all over her notebook.)
"I finished up the rough draft and thought I'd come out here as a break," Jinsol replied, leaning her head atop Jungeun's. "I feel like I haven't been spending enough time with you two and so I wanted to make up for it."
"It's fine, unnie. We wouldn't want you to feel obligated to hangout with us." Yerim nodded in agreement, switching the channel to one of the Harry Potter movies that was airing (Jungeun had no idea which one it was, though. There were too many to keep track of...)
"Well, I still miss you," Jinsol whispered, running her fingers through Jungeun's hair. A pink tint spread across Jungeun's cheeks as she inhaled slowly. She hummed in response as Yerim watched the two in amusement. These idiots...
/
Jungeun didn't often have trouble sleeping considering she had a healthy and consistent sleep schedule (unlike some of the other members), but tonight she was having an unusually hard time drifting off.
She rolled over to the other side of her bed for the nth time in the past half an hour, tugging the sheets farther up her body. She clamped her eyes shut, attempting to clear her cluttered mind full of thoughts and worries about their new choreography, their upcoming promotional shoots, and one chocolate-eyed blondie with a heart of gold.
Jungeun groaned, shifting onto her back to stare at the ceiling. Her clock flashed 11:05 as she let out a long sigh. She kicked off the covers and shoved her feet into her slippers, quietly making her way out of the bedroom and into the hallway. She cringed when the old floor boards of their dorm creaked beneath her feet, hoping no one else had heard. Her stomach grumbled, causing a slight blush to appear despite being alone.
Or so she thought.
Right as she was about to enter the main living area, she caught a glimpse of long blonde hair and the blue pajama set Jungeun had bought as a present.
Jinsol.
Jungeun crept farther into the kitchen, watching the older girl pull a container out of the fridge and place it in the microwave. Sensing her presence, Jinsol turned and grinned when she saw Jungeun loitering behind her.
"Hey, Jungie." The dim lighting of the single kitchen light Jinsol had turned on gave the girl this odd ethereal effect; she was glowing, almost. (Jinsol was always glowing.) "What are you doing up? I thought you would've been asleep since around—" Jinsol paused, glancing at the wall-hanging clock. "An hour ago."
Jungeun shrugged, staring at the tile flooring that had been put in recently. "Couldn't sleep."
Jinsol nodded, chuckling when Jungeun flushed a deep red and buried her face in her hands because her stomach decided to make another loud noise. "Hungry?"
Jungeun hesitated a bit before shyly nodding yes. Truthfully, she hadn't had much to eat during the day, her only meal being half of an apple and some leftovers that she found in the fridge for breakfast.
Jinsol, being perceptive as ever, seemed to pick up on that fact, as if she could read her mind.
(Or maybe Jungeun was just really easy to read in general.)
She frowned, moving closer to Jungeun. "Jungie, you need to eat more." The look of genuine concern swimming in Jinsol's eyes made her heart warm but also clench uncomfortably.
Jungeun shrugged once again, not knowing how to respond. "It's fine, I can deal with it. Not much I can do, anyway."
Jinsol's eyebrows furrowed, the skin in the space between scrunching a bit. All Jungeun wished to do was to rub that spot soothingly until it relaxed, but she stayed put, not nearly daring enough to do so. Jinsol opened her mouth to speak again, eager to disagree and chide the younger for disregarding her health, but the microwave beeping to signal that the food was finished warming up interrupted her train of thought.
Jungeun watched in amusement as Jinsol tried to pull the container out with her bare hands, yelping at how hot the glass had gotten. Jungeun's mouth watered at the smell of chicken, gratefully accepting the plate the blonde handed her with several pieces of chicken and some microwavable rice on it. She sat down at the table, practically inhaling the entire plate of food. Stupid diet.
She could feel the older girl's eyes on her from where she stood in the kitchen, but she didn't dare look up, afraid of what she might see (or what she might not).
Jinsol soon sat down across from her, a plate of her own held firmly in her hand. Even though she didn't say anything, Jungeun could practically hear the gears in her mind turning.
Jungeun swallowed her bite of food, dabbing at her lips with a napkin. "Why were you up, unnie?"
Jinsol stilled, a brief flicker of something behind her eyes that Jungeun couldn't catch. She looked up at Jungeun, a small smile on her lips that Jungeun couldn't understand. Oh, how she wished she could read Jinsol's mind.
"Just had a lot on my mind."
Jungeun nodded, poking at the last piece of chicken on her plate with her chopsticks. Jungeun also had a lot on her mind, but there was one thought in particular that circled her head.
Without a second thought, Jungeun asked the question she had been dying to know the answer to.
"Why didn't you tell me you liked someone?" Her voice was small and passive, half-hoping Jinsol wouldn't hear her and the cat would stay in the bag.
"Huh?"
Jungeun ignored the look of utter confusion on Jinsol's face, pushing on with her thoughts. "Sooyoung-unnie mentioned it the other day, and I guess I was just wondering why everyone else seems to know who it is except me."
Jinsol pushed her plate aside and leaned over the table, placing a hand on Jungeun's arm. Jungeun's face was forming an adorable pout, lips jutted out and her eyes looking anywhere but Jinsol's as she continued to mumble-talk.
Jinsol smiled at the younger's rambling, grabbing hold of one of her hands and squeezing it gently.
"Did Sooyoung tell you who it was?"
"Well...no, but—"
Jinsol held up her free hand, signaling for Jungeun to let her continue. "Okay, then tell me what you were worried about, Jungeun."
Jungeun frowned. "Well, I was just afraid maybe you didn't feel comfortable enough around me to share it or we're not actually as close as I had hoped or...or I don't even know. I just really like you and the thought that you liked someone else scared me."
Jinsol continued to stare at Jungeun, the loving glint behind her eyes never leaving. It made Jungeun squirm. "W-What?"
"I'm going to show you something that I haven't shown anyone else, but you need to promise not to laugh at me, okay?"
Jungeun nodded, mildly confused as to where Jinsol was going with this. She watched the older girl place her wallet on the table, opening it up. Then, she carefully pulled out what looked to be a tattered piece of paper from one of the slots.
"Does this look familiar?" Jinsol held the paper up so that Jungeun could see it clearly. The pink-haired girl gasped when she saw what it was. It was a crinkled blue sticky note Jungeun had written years ago and had given to Jinsol, attached to a water bottle after a particularly hard practice during their trainee days. "I remember when I first came to the company and saw you practicing. You looked so cool and unreachable, younger me never would have dreamed of even being able to talk to you. But when I found this by my door," Jinsol waved the slip in front of her face, "It showed me just how truly kind and wonderful you were and still are."
Jungeun's face had heated up significantly and she had the strong urge to scream out of embarrassment, but she held back, sensing that Jinsol was not done yet.
"I always admired you, you know? I didn't care that you were two years younger than me, you amazed
me and sometimes it felt as if you were the older one. You always took care of me and the members, even disregarding your own well-being for the sake of ours. You might think no one notices when you give up your portion of food to someone else, or how you stay late after rehearsal to help someone else out with the choreography. But we do. I do. I love how selfless you are, how you put others before yourself. You astound me, Jungeun. You always have—making it nearly impossible not to develop feelings for you." She paused, finally looking into Jungeun's surprised eyes. "Do you get what I'm saying?"
Jungeun giggled nervously, playing with her hands on top of the table. Sure, to an outsider it was glaringly obvious what Jinsol was trying to convey, but Jungeun was going to need her to say it out right for her to get her emotionally constipated head and stuttering heart to understand.
"I think I'm going to need you to spell it out for me," Jungeun replied, smiling sheepishly. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and she felt as if she might pass out right there on the spot. Any more surprises and she might just—
"I'm in love with you."
Ah.
"R-Really?" Jungeun was appalled. She searched Jinsol's face, expecting to see some sort of change or difference, but all she found was the same warm smile that had always been directed towards her.
"Mhm."
"Me?"
"You."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am very sure."
"But are you really—"
"Jungeun," Jinsol chuckled, placing her hand atop Jungeun's. "I wouldn't joke about something like this."
Jungeun opened her mouth, but shut it again when nothing came out. She probably looked like a suffocating fish.
After a few more moments of watching Jungeun try and fail to say something, she stood from her chair and slowly made her way over to Jungeun's side of the table. She reached out and ran her hand along Jungeun's face, cupping her jaw gently in her palm. She leaned in closer, almost to the point where their noses were touching.
"Would you believe me," Jinsol purposefully flickered her eyes down to Jungeun's lips, "If I did this?"
Jungeun sucked in a sharp breath as Jinsol inched closer, their mouths nearly brushing up against each other. The feeling of Jinsol's warm breath ghosting against her lips sent a shiver through her body.
"May I?" Jinsol whispered, gazing into Jungeun's eyes. Her bright eyes had turned dark, causing Jungeun's heartbeat to race at a concerning speed. Instead of verbally answering, she opted to show her instead, eagerly accepting Jinsol's offer.
Their mouths seemed to fit together perfectly as both girls tried their best not to get too sucked into the kiss, but that soon got thrown out the window. Jungeun gently tugged at Jinsol's bottom lip with her teeth, eliciting a small gasp from the blonde. She quickly recovered, pulling Jungeun closer and moving from her mouth to place kisses on the younger's jaw.
Right as she was about to slip her hands beneath Jungeun's pajama top, one of the floorboards creaked loudly, causing them to leap off each other as if they had gotten burned.
There was a loud gasp and both girls turned to see Hyunjin with her mouth agape and staring at them in shock.
"W-We um...this is—"
"I knew there was something going on. Heejin, you owe me ten bucks!"
Jinsol and Jungeun shared looks as a grumpy Heejin emerged from the hallway and dragged Hyunjin, who was still babbling on about how she knew all along and that know one could keep anything from her, back to their room.
It was late and Jungeun was glad they would be able to sleep in since they didn't have a schedule for the next day—and judging by the playful but intense glint in Jinsol's eye when she scooped her up into the bridal style position and carried her back to their shared bedroom, Jungeun knew she would need the extra sleep.
THE END