C H A P T E R - E I G H T
otto/their spot
Otto could admit that the deciding factor in her keeping the baby was her father. Despite him telling her to not let anyone else influence her decision he did that very thing.
Of course she didn't regret Freddie not one bit, she would.make the same decision again. And again.
He truly didn't understand how much power he held, how much the decision she made was influenced by him. The same person telling her to do the opposite. She wanted him to have a grandchild, she knew he wasn't going to be around for the majority of the adult milestones she was going to have.
He wouldn't be at her highschool graduation.
He wouldn't be at her college graduation.
He wouldn't be there when she started her career, which he would never know because she hadn't decided.
He wouldn't be there to see her get engaged, or married.
And in theory he wouldn't be there to see his grandchild. Although that theory almost broke, if he could have held on a few more months he would've been there.
But he couldn't.
And that broke her heart, he would've loved Freddie.
It wasn't something she thought about all that often, but occasionally when she saw her mum interact with Freddie she thought of her father.
Laura wasn't blind, she could see the change in the terms Otto and JJ's relationship, the one blurred lines had begun to merge completely. She didn't think they had a label, Otto and JJ didn't seem the type for a strict label.
A label meant expectations and pressure. She just wanted to enjoy JJ, and a label could put that in jeopardy.
JJ didn't give a fuck about labels, he'd never had a real relationship. And just like Otto he didn't want the pressure that came with labels that others knew about.
Yet another unspoken rule between the two was that it was just them. They both knew a part of their relationship was that it closed off other people in that manner.
There was no anniversary dates to celebrate, it just started as a one night stand that grew to reluctant friendship - on Otto's behalf - to a blurry relationship to what it became. It wasn't a boyfriend/girlfriend type deal, it was just a 'I love you, you love me, we don't have sex with other people' type deal.
It really was exactly what the people around the two expected.
Laura was thrilled about the strange arrangement.
She liked JJ. She liked how JJ was with Freddie, how determined her was to everything as well as he could. She loved how he treated Otto like she was a walking, talking angel. But most of all she loved seeing how happy JJ made Otto.
He made her smile, he made laugh and she trusted him. And that wasn't something she did easily. It truly was something you earned with her.
And it came even harder with how her relationship with Wes ended.
Twice a week Laura would insist on taking Freddie for a night and forcing the pair to go and do something fun. Despite having a child and a set of responsibilities people their age usually didn't have she didn't want them to not enjoy their final teenage years.
She wanted them to be a able to let loose and live their young adulthood to the fullest they reasonably could.
Most of the time they just went to the Chateau alone, which meant they could do stuff they couldn't with Freddie. Because by morning they'd be sober and able to take care of a baby.
Occasionally they bought shitty takeout and went to Otto's/their spot, enjoying eachothers company without anyone else.
And every so often they'd go to the Wreck with the group.
But that day Otto wanted to do something she had yet to do, it'd been months since her father died and she had yet to visit his grave.
JJ offered to go with her, even if he just waited in the car, but she wanted to do it alone.
She walked and JJ took the car despite her trip being longer. She wanted time to think.
It was tucked away in a corner of the island people didn't really go to unless they were going to the graveyard. She stopped a few meters away from the entrance and stared for a few seconds before getting the courage to go inside.
Her mother visited a few times a week, she bought a plot next to a bench so she could sit and therefore be able to spend more te there, thinking.
Every times she went she'd offer Otto the chance to go, but every time she found an excuse not to go.
But she missed her father more than usual that day.
In TV shows and movies you see people talking at the grave like the person was standing right there, she wasn't sure if it was for dramatic effect or people actually did that. Either way she thought it was a little strange so she didn't do it. Talking in your head was one thing, talking out loud in the privacy of your own home was another thing, but talking out loud in a public place to someone who wasn't there was odd to her.
So, she just sat and thought about him.
She thought about how every time he went into remission they'd go on a holiday, even if it was in the middle of the school year they'd take her out pulling the dying dad card. He went into remission five separate times.
She thought about when he was going through chemotherapy and lost all of his hair and she was visiting him he let her buy outlandish wigs and play hair dresser.
She thought about when she went to visit him and he'd pretend the jelly was disgusting because he knew she loved it. She only found that out when she went over for a suprise visit after school and saw him eating it.
She thought about each time her parents sat her down to tell her the cancer had come back.
And she thought about when they sat her down, at that point she could tell when she was getting the cancer talk. But this time was different, he explained he didn't want to fight it. He thanked her for the amazing life she had given him, and how privileged he felt that he got to watch her grow up and how sorry he was he couldn't continue to be there. He explained his plan to move to the Outer Banks until he died but told her that if she didn't want to go, even a little bit, they wouldn't go, he was fine staying im their hometown.
She didn't cry. In a weird way she was happy for him.
It was his choice, what he wanted.
She could tell how hard a decision it was for him, but every time he went through treatment it took a little more of him away. But she could see he wasn't really telling her anything, he was asking for permission to stop, everyone at the table knew that if she asked for him to keep trying he would.
All she said was that she quite liked the Outer Banks.
But as she sat there she knew he wasn't in pain anymore, not shackled down by cancer and what the treatments did to his body.
He was free.
And that made her happy.
Otto was religious, albeit not great and following the rules (Freddie was a testament to that,) but she know he was in heaven.
Probably laying on a fluffy could being fed grapes like a damn emperor. As as he deserved.
She thought visiting his grave would ruin his day, but it didn't.
While she say there she didn't want to be disturbed by notifications so she had turned off her phone.
In hindsight that was a terrible idea.
But hindsight's 20/20.
•
I'm so needlessly dramatic, like I need to calm down with all my 'hindsight is 20/20' shit.
But, I'm awful at cliffhangers so I have no clue if this sufficient anought to be considered a cliffhanger.
This is what I bring you today. I hope you enjoyed it my brethern.
If you didn't please don't say it I am tres tres fragile.