Trees gave way to green fields, rolling hills and blue skies. They were rid of that forsaken cold at last. For now, at least. Kai patted Lunar's neck, smiling as she rode harder, unrestricted by snow and ice. She had not been bred for the unnatural chill of the woods surrounding Snowhold. This was her home—this untamed expanse of green and blue, melding with one another as they stretched out into the horizon.
Kai and Saif had taken no particular path on their way back through the woods, instead heading in as straight a line as they could toward their destination. They would see no cities or towns on their current path; it was unlikely for anyone to be out here, in such times. Kai doubted that many merchants would dare traverse the roads between the major cities.
Kai wondered if they would encounter any monsters on their journey. Would they be hunted by wraiths and hounds? He suspected not. If Skade wanted Kai dead, why should he wish to delay the execution? As grim a thought as it was, it meant that their path would be a clear one.
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The day was clear, sky blue as ever, broken up by the occasional wisp of a cloud. Ath truly looked like a paradise. The sun shone bright, warming Kai's skin as he rode ahead of Saif. He took a deep breath, savoring the smell of good soil and healthy grass.
Saif slowed to a stop before him, and Kai did the same. Why stop now, he wondered? It was the middle of the day. He dismounted Lunar nevertheless; Saif always had reason when it truly mattered.
"What's wrong?" Kai asked, moving to stand beside the elf.
"Oh, nothing is wrong. I thought this would be a good place to begin your training."
Excitement coursed through him. He had far more control over his magic than he had mere weeks ago, but he wanted to learn more, needed to learn more.
"Where do we start?"
Saif sighed, expression thoughtful. "I was thinking the same thing. I have taught elves before—though it has been centuries—but their magic was more...normal. Dark magic...I've never dealt with it before." The elf smiled. "This will be as much a learning experience for me as you, which is why I've been so excited about it."
Saif stretched an arm forward, curling his fingers as if to beckon an invisible being forward. A stream of air formed inside his palm, twirling about like a wooden top. It grew larger, twisting out of the elf's fingers. Grass was flung from the ground, swept away by Saif's rapidly expanding magic.
Kai's jaw dropped as he backed away from the elf's power. The tornado was ten meters tall by the time Saif lowered his arm, letting the winds disperse.
The elf turned to Kai, a twinkle lighting his eyes.
"It feels amazing, using my true power again. I enjoyed my stay at Northshore, but nothing is so wonderful as the touch of magical wind against one's skin. Now, let's see some dark magic of yours. Summon as much as you can—we'll go from there."
Kai nodded, concentration turning to the warm spot in the center of his core. It seemed to burn, heat rising as he pushed himself. He had never tried to summon his full power, he realized. Not since he had learned to control it.
The warmth rose, pulling toward his outstretched arm. He waited, stopping his power at his fingertips as he summoned more of it from his core. Kai's arms darkened as his shadows formed within him, hands turning black.
And then he released the darkness. Streams of inky magic shot from him, stilling themselves a dozen feet away in a floating cloud of power.
Saif whistled, stepping forward. The elf released a stream of air, eyes steady as his magic engulfed a portion of Kai's. It was as though he was feeling the shadows, exploring them. But was that possible? Could magic recreate something so complex as touch?
"Yes, it can." Saif smiled, and his air magic dissipated. "Magic can see, feel—it can even read the thoughts of others through their magic."
Kai felt a chill crawl up his spine as he attempted to process the elf's words. He would have doubted Saif, had the elf not just read Kai's magic like a book.
"Well, magic cannot read thoughts accurately—not mine, at least. I suppose it reads emotion. You were confused a moment ago; you wondered why I felt your magic with my own, wondered if such an idea was even possible. I read your confusion and the direction it pointed, and I suppose that I guessed the rest. Magic is a part of you, Kai. You do not control it, and it does not control you. You are one, and its emotions are an extension of your own."
Kai was breathless, feeling a strange sense of excitement, awe, and terror all at once. Excitement for the infinity of possibilities that magic created, awe for the complexity of such power. And terror, once again, at the vastness of the world. At the things that he had not known until just moments before, and at the many things that he would likely never know.
"Teach me. To read emotion with my magic, I mean."
Saif laughed. "In time, perhaps. It will come eventually, with control and practice. For now, we should focus on understanding your dark magic."
The elf frowned, eyes returning to Kai's shadows. "I tried to pierce them, but could not. Were you trying to create a shield?"
Kai shook his head. "I wasn't trying to do anything, really. I just released my magic."
"Though it looked small, I shot concentrated air at your darkness—an attack capable of shattering stone. Most magic can defend such force, but not easily."
Saif stood silent for a moment, eyes thoughtful. "What else can you do with these shadows of yours?"
Kai thought back to the few experiences he'd had with his own magic. "During the siege," he said, "it moved me. One moment I was falling off of Aria's wall, and the next I was unharmed, laying in a field hundreds of meters away. It happened again when Harper was hurt. My magic moved my body to her."
Saif's eyes were wide, an expression that might have been awe brightening his face. "You can fector. I've only met a half dozen people with that power, all of them elves. It's incredibly rare, and powerful when mastered."
"Fector?"
"The power to move anywhere within sight at will. It takes a lot of energy, but there are few magical abilities more coveted. Impressive."
Fector. Kai had never heard the word before, but it was as good a way as any to describe the power he had used during the siege. He had tried to use the ability since the attack on Aria, with no luck. Perhaps he had to be truly desperate for the full depths of his magic to reveal itself? No, there had to be another way. Kai was not keen on relying on desperation, even if he had many times in the past.
He tried to release more magic, but could not. He felt at his limit, and yet knew that his power reserves were far from empty. How could he harness the full extent of his shadows?
"Do not force your magic," Saif said. It was as though he had read Kai's mind yet again. "Calm yourself. Let it flow. Your magic is part of you. A broken limb cannot be forced into movement; it must be nurtured, taken care of so that it might grow stronger. Your power is no different. Coax that light within you; make it burn brighter."
Kai inhaled, closing his eyes. He shut off the sounds around him. The soft trickle of a stream faded away, the faint sound of the breeze turning to nothing at all. He could hear only the beating of his heart, and could see nothing at all.
Kai inhaled, attempting to visualize the space within him. He looked past his body, past his blood and bones. He looked into his soul, that place that seemed so small and yet so comforting. So unimportant and yet so powerful.
And he felt it. The warmth that he felt when expelling his shadows, only tenfold. He felt a beat, but it did not come from his heart. The sounds of his own body had already faded, giving way to this dark warmth.
Kai's eyes seemed to open—though he knew they were closed—and widened as he witnessed the wonder that was his soul.
A field of darkness stretched before him, cold and empty. It was terrifying; devoid of life, of love, of happiness. Every way Kai looked, darkness. This was him, he thought. This was his soul, his pain. He walked along the darkness, and though his surroundings did not change he knew that he was moving, making progress. Though he advanced, there seemed to be no end to the field of despair. But he could not stop—not yet. He did not know how he knew, but there was something past the darkness. Something more, something that he had to reach at all costs.
Suddenly Kai's breath caught. He felt pressure against his skin, forcing him to his knees. An invisible weight, holding him down. He swung his head from side to side frantically, swinging his arms in an attempt to ward off his assailant. It was no use. Kai's arms struck only air, falling uselessly to his sides as he panted, realizing that this thing was not something that he could fight off. It pulled him farther down and he groaned as he fell to the ground. First his hands hit the darkness, then the rest of his body. Still it pushed, pushed. It felt so unreal, so unworldly, and yet—
And yet he recognized it. He knew this feeling, knew this hopelessness, this regret and guilt and sadness. Kai knew it because he had felt it for the greater part of his life. He remembered his past, mind traveling to a different time. A time that he had spent surrounded by death. He had been alone in Northshore, save for the occasional presence of Saif. Without the elf, Kai shuddered to imagine what his life would be like now—if it would be. He had grown up in poverty, seeking any escape, any refuge from the pain. In finding that escape, he had cast himself into an even more painful place. Though he had climbed out of destitution, his life had not been improved.
Kai had been able to eat with his new-found money. He had been able to buy clothes and a bath, and eventually a house. But he had paid for it with part of his soul. It had never been so apparent to him as it was now. He had always known that an irreplaceable part of him had been lost after his first kill, but he now realized how much it had truly affected him.
Killing left him empty, sucked the life from him, leaving a shell of his former being.
Kai felt it now. He felt all of it. Felt the guilt, the regret, the anger and the sadness. It pressed down, threatening to suffocate him with its unworldly weight. The weight had always been there, he realized. Had always haunted Kai; a phantom chain trailing behind him. Until it hadn't.
Atleast, the burden had lightened. It had not ceased to be—Kai feared that it never would—but it's strain had lessened. He thought of it now, the few moments of happiness in his life.
The field of darkness shifted into a faint light. That light transformed, turning into images. First there was Saif, smiling silently. Kai watched as the elf spoke softly, instructing a boy that stood before him. Another elf, perhaps? No. Kai recognized the face that shone in the otherworldly image before him. It was his own. He couldn't have been more than 10 years old.
More images; Saif teaching Kai to throw knives, to read, to write. And then the images stopped. The light extinguished, giving way to black. There was only darkness, loneliness. Sometimes there was nothing at all.
Then a portrait colored bright red. It seemed to emanate pain and regret. More images flashed by, depicting memories that Kai wished to forget. It seemed neverending; the portraits of pain and death far outnumbered those of pleasure and joy and life.
And then it stopped. The darkness stopped, and Kai watched as a flame alit, small at first. It grew, creating a portrait of its own, made from a shocking brightness. A horse, enrobed in a dark coat, a white crescent on her forehead. Lunar. The light expanded still, and Kai saw her. She rode through a wood, face white in fear and yet as beautiful as ever. Harper.
The flame spread, eating away at the field of darkness. The images now showed the Ivory Manor, and Kai could nearly smell the faint scent of cinnamon caressing his nostrils.
More portraits blurred past Kai, of Aria and the Ivory Manor and Harper. Even some of Lord Canmore, as well as the group that had set out to scout the Dark Army with him. Cory, Theo and Branson, smiling as if they stood before him.
The light had taken over the darkness now, reducing it to a fraction of its original size. Kai stood; the weight was nearly gone now. He walked forward, gazing in wonder at the wonderful brightness that surrounded him. It was warm and comforting; shelter against the storm.
He knelt, feeling the magnificent flame with a smile. It smiled back. He gasped as the light seeped into him, flooding his body and mind. Kai had not realized how empty his soul had been moments ago until it was filled. It was as if he had found a long lost friend, or regained control of a limb.
Kai sighed, feeling the warmth course through him, seeping into every corner and crevice of his being. It seemed to know him so well, feeling right at home within his soul. He supposed the light had always been within him; it had been smaller, but there nonetheless.
He knew the warmth, recognized it. It emanated the same comfort of his shadows, which he found ironic. This wonderful light manifested itself as an inky darkness outside of Kai's own soul.
Kai smiled, feeling nearly complete. Nearly, but not quite. The puzzle that was his soul still missed a few pieces. One of which was Harper.