3 years later
You sit in your room, on your bed. People had stopped showing up to meetings, one by one they had given up and the hope that you could somehow undo what had been done. And sadly so have you, there was nothing you could do that hadn't already been tried before. You wish you could be the good example, that you could make things better.
You haven't gotten out of bed in days, you didn't sleep, still haunted by your memories. Brushing your teeth and taking a shower have become almost impossible to do. The weight of yourself is just to much to bear.
"Hey Jones" Tony smiles, standing by the doorframe next to Natasha. "Nat and I were thinking we could grab a cup of coffee"
"No thanks" you sigh deeply.
"How about some lunch then? Drinks?" Tony proposes.
"I'm not hungry"
"You haven't eaten anything today.." Natasha says sadly.
"Like I said I'm not really hungry" you repeat.
"Right.." Tony scoffs.
"Why are you here Tony?"
Tony slowly walks towards the edge of you bed, sitting down as he looks up at you. "Natasha called me, we're worried about you y/n" Tony explains.
"Well don't be I'm fine" you say coldly.
"You're not fine y/n" Natasha says, looking around your room. "You never go out, you don't talk anymore. You just sit in here.. everyday"
"Whatever" you scoff, laying down on your bed, turning around looking out the window.
"That's it. Y/n you're coming with me!" Tony says firmly, grabbing you by the hand, pulling you up from the bed.
"Why..?" You ask bluntly.
"Cause you need a change in scenery. You look like a ghost of the girl you once were" Tony hisses, not out of anger, but in pure frustration. "I know you're upset, I get it. But I gave you time, now I'm done. Get the fuck up-"
"Tony.." Natasha tries to calm him down.
"No.. this isn't helping her" he spits.
"She just needs to heal"
"Right. Buts she's not healing here, she's just swimming around in a pool of sadness. She can stay with me" Tony says, as he holds onto your hand.
"Are you sure Tony?" Natasha asks softly.
"Of course I'm sure.. I made a promise"
"Fine.. but you could also stay here?" Natasha proposes.
"I'm good thanks.. where is he even?" Tony scoffs irritated.
"He's at support group."
Tony scoffs again, rolling his eyes.
"Y/n what do you think?" Natasha asks.
"I don't know..maybe?" You say hesitantly.
"Alright.. guess it's settled then" Tony claps his hands together, getting up from the bed.
"Tony hang on she's a human being-"
"Maybe you're both right.. maybe I do need to move on. We can't bring them back..without the stones there's nothing we can do.. Loki isn't coming back.." you say sadly, fidgeting with the strings on your hoodie. "None of them is"
"Some fresh air is going to do you good" Tony smiles.
"What about you Nat?" You asks softly.
"I'm gonna stay.. if something happens I'll be here. But you should go." Natasha assures you. "I'll come
Visit okay?" She says, sitting down in front of you, resting her forehead against yours. "I could never leave you, this is forever right?" She whispers.
"Forever" you whisper back.
"Let's get you packed up then" Natasha smiles.
Within an hour everything is neatly packed into two bags. The rest could stay, and you needed a change. Being stuck around here didn't benefit you at all. It only made you worse. Perhaps some time away with Tony could give you some fresh perspective. So I'm a few months you'd have some new ideas to try out
You get in the car with Tony waving goodbye to Natasha, and the compound. For some reason you never really thought you'd be leaving there. Tony is awfully silent on the car ride there. It's like he's walking on eggshells around you, trying his best to not say something wrong. But he was right, you truly did need to get away for a while, and staying with him could be good for you.
Tony helps you unpack, showing you around the entire place. It was so cozy, not really where you had pictures Tony living. But then again he had changed to, gotten older, retired. It was perfect for him. Right in the middle of the forest, with a beautiful lake in the backyard. And only an hour away from the city.
You sit in silence, outside staring out over lake, there was something about nature this time of the year. As the leaves slowly changed colors, and covered the ground. Everything was dying yet so beautiful.
"Hey you" Tony call out, as he sits down beside you. Looking at you, as you stare out over the lake.
"Hey" you say quietly, almost like a fated whisper.
"So I was thinking we could go out tonight, get some dinner.. a glass of wine and just-"
"I don't think I can" you interrupt him.
"Why not?" He questions.
"I'm not really in the mood.." you answer.
Tony takes a deep breath, intertwining your fingers. "Well how about we order some food here?.. we could watch a movie, eat dinner on the couch, in our pj's?" Tony proposes.
"I'd like that" you smile, tugging his hand gently.
"Great.. Chinese? Pizza? Burger? What would you like?" Tony asks, listing off a bunch of stuff.
"Whatever, I don't have a preference" you sigh.
"Okay then.. I'll go order some food. You go get comfortable" Tony says as he reaches out his hand helping you up.
You walk up to your new room, getting into your comfiest clothes, and wrap yourself up in a fuzzy blanket, trying to find a movie to watch.
"Are you finding something?" Tony asks, as he opens up to beers for you.
"I think so.. how about pretty woman?" You asks him, looking back at him.
"If you wanna watch it, let's do that" Tony smiles, as he sits down beside you handing you a beer.
You smile as you turn on the movie. Shortly after the food arrives, and of course Tony ordered you two cheeseburgers, and some fries. You look over at Tony as you watch the movie, and even though he was acepto al at first, he seemed to really enjoy the movie.
As you finish your food, you rest you head against Tony's chest, feeling your body slowly drift off. Tony smiles as he looks at you peacefully sleeping in his arms. He carefully turns off the movie, and lifts you up in his arms, carrying you to your bedroom. Tugging you into bed, as he places a gentle kiss on your forehead.
You shut your eyes open, breathing heavily. You're covered in sweat from head to toe.. you were in your room.. yet all you could see was darkness.. and every time you closed your eyes you saw it unfold all over again. Those dreams just wouldn't go away, they followed you around, wherever you went, there was no escaping a memory.
You walk down stairs, trying the best you can to sneak down without waking up Tony. He had been so kind to let you stay here, you didn't want to ruin it by ruining his sleep. So you walk on your tippy toes all the way to the kitchen, grabbing a large glass of water as you begin chucking it down. You feel the tears fighting for release. Your body sinks to the floor as you let them unfold.
"Y/n?" Tony questions walking down into the kitchen. "What are you doing down here it's the middle of the night?" He yawns.
"I just needed a glass of water" you say quietly.
"Okay... so why have you been crying?" Tony crosses his arms. As he looks at your tear stained cheeks.
"I just splashed some water on my face I'm fine.." you hiss. Not looking up at him.
"If us living here together is gonna work out, you gotta be honest with me Jones.. no. More. Lies" he scoffs.
"Im fine Tony"
"Bullshit"
You take a deep breath, looking directly into his warm brown eyes. "I can't sleep okay?" You admit. "My mind won't shut off.. and every time I do fall asleep all I see is the constant pain.. it's like I'm right there again. In the middle of it..." you sob.
Tony walks to you wrapping you in his arms, as you collapse onto the floor. Crying manically. Feeling how your heart beat keeps on beating way to fast.
He quickly gets up running to the bathroom, and returning shortly after with a bottle of pills and a glass of water.
"Take this" he whispers.
You don't have the energy to ask questions. So you simply nod you head. Taking the pill and chugging down some water. After a few minutes you feel the effect of your body slowly falling asleep.. but your mind is still wide awake.
"How long has these nightmares been going on?" Tony asks.
"About two years" you admit. "Its gotten worse, at first it was just like small thoughts about it at night. Now I see it, like I physically feel I'm there.. and I watch him pull that blade into my stomach over and over.. and I just can't take it" you explain. "And I see Loki.. I see him everywhere like a constant reminder of what he took from me"
A tear rolls down Tony's cheek as he listens to you. He strokes your hair gently. Not really knowing what to do.
"I understand if you can't live with me anymore" you sigh.
"No y/n.. don't say that okay!" Tony assures you. "You've always been taking care of me.. even when I treated you poorly.. it's my turn to take care of you."
"I don't need to be taken care of" you say gently.
"Everybody does.. you just have to stop blaming yourself.. we couldn't have done anything Jones. Stephen handed him the time stone to save your life. It's gotta mean something okay?"
"Okay.."
"So now just let me.. just let me be your friend"
And although sceptic...Somehow he actually helps.. his voice soothes you, as he holds you in his arms till you fall asleep. Carrying you into bed. And staying right by your side for the rest of the night.