Amelia looked at the message Bridge had sent her.
'Boss. Gusto mo ba ulit makita ang anak ko? She's talkative now. Ang bilis lang ng panahon. Mag t-two months na siya.'
Her eyes immediately lit up. Gusto niyang makita ulit si Minch. It just feels so good to hold a baby in her arms. Pero paano kung malaglag sa kamay niya ang bata? She can't risk another child dying in her arms again.
Nanginig ang mga kamay niya. She barely contained herself the first time she held Minch in her hands. Gusto niyang umiyak nang mga oras na iyon pero pinigilan niya lang. Raced of thoughts started to invade her mind that time. But most of it are what ifs. What if her baby was born? Magiging masaya ba si Christian sa pamilya nila? Hindi na ba ito mambababae? Will her baby have had her chinky eyes too?
Sa mga naisip ay kumirot ang dibdib niya. Nanginig ang mga labi niya at ramdam niya ang paglabo ng mga mata niya sa namumuong luha sa gilid ng mga mata niya. She was about to type her reply when she heard a voice from behind her shoulder.
"You should go."
Amelia turned around and faced Sam. Nakatingin ito sa screen ng cellphone niya.
She quickly turned the phone off and put it in her apron. Kumurap kurap siya para pigilan ang luhang tutulo sana sa mga mata niya. May mumunting kirot na nagsimulang gumuhit sa dibdib niya. Her throat suddenly felt dry and constricted.
Hindi niya alam kung maayos na salita ba ang lalabas sa bibig niya. She felt like her voice will sound hoarse kung magsasalita siya.
She pursed her lips. Kailangan niya bang sabihin kay Sam ang nasa isip niya? But Sam feels like comfort and home. Feeling niya ay kaya niyang sabihin kay dito ang lahat and the younger Del Rio wouldn't judge her.
Kinagat niya ang labi niya. "I-I don't know if I still want to. The last time I held Minch in my hands, I was afraid I would let go of my hold on her. I-I'm afraid, Sam. I'll hurt the baby and---"
Niyakap siya nito.
Nanlaki naman ang mga mata na tinitigan niya ito. Tumibok ng malakas ang dibdib niya. She took a deep breath habang tinititigan ito. Sam looked so beautiful in that moment that she wants to treasure the memory inside her mind.
She bit her lip hard when she noticed the expression on Sam's face. Sam's brown eyes wore the softest expression as they looked at her.
"Boss... I know it still hurts. You still need to grieve, but you need to acknowledge that you lost the child. I know you will not do it the second time around."
Humilig siya sa balikat ni Sam at doon umiyak. Umiling siya.
"Y-Yes, but I am still afraid I might endanger the child, Sam."
Hinaplos nito ang likod niya. "I will be with you, Boss. I'll be your support system while you grieve."
Inangat niya ang tingin sa mukha nito.
She never acknowledges to anyone that she was weak. Hindi niya hinahayaan ang sarili na umiyak sa harap ng iba but this time. Sam had given her the opportunity to express herself. Matagal niyang sinisisi ang sarili niya sa nangyari. She knew it was her fault but with Sam being there the first time ay tila gumaan ang pakiramdam niya. Sam didn't judge her noong unang punta nila noon sa ospital.
But there are sad and bad thoughts that started racing in her mind that time. She only forced herself to smile and be jovial dahil nakakahiya naman kay Bridge kung iiyak siya sa araw na pinakamasaya ito. She doesn't want to rob another woman the joy of bringing a life to the world. Sana balang araw maranasan niya din ang bagay na iyon.
Sam smiled at her and kissed her forehead.
Tila may mainit na kamay ang humaplos sa dibdib ni Amelia. It was suddenly hard to breathe as she tried not to cry. Her chest tightened.
They stayed that way for a few moments.
Amelia closed her eyes tightly and held Sam closer. Gusto niyang manatili lang ng ganito. She doesn't know that she could have this deep connection with someone. Not Christian and not any man but with Samantha Del Rio, a woman.
Hindi niya tuloy maiwasang mapangiti. But then her smiled turned into a grimace when she smelled something burning.
Nanlaki ang mga mata niya at agad siyang kumalas kay Sam para tingnan ang niluluto niya.
She burned the pancakes, bacon and eggs! Damn it! Gusto niya pa naman sana itong pakainin ng maayos na pagkain after last night. Baka pagod na ito at gutom. Para makabawi naman ito sa pagod nito kagabi, because she knows that she'll tire Sam again.
Sam chuckled. "Boss. If you are cooking something, please attend to it properly."
Nakangusong hinampas niya ang braso nito. Napahimas tuloy ito doon. "Ikaw kasi eh!"
Tatawa tawang inilagay nito ang nasunog na mga niluto niya sa lababo. Sam can really make her forget about her surroundings.
"Let me do the cooking, boss." Sam winked at her, and Amelia felt her cheeks become aflame. "Sit and relax ka muna diyan, bossing ko."
Amelia couldn't help the chuckle that erupted from her chest. Ginawa niya ang sinabi nito. She sat on a stool bar and watched Sam move in the kitchen. Ang pulido nitong kumilos. Her eyes wandered on Sam's butt cheeks, and she bit her lip hard.
She wants Sam again. Hindi niya tuloy mapigilan na dilaan ulit ang labi niya. She wants to taste the younger Del Rio again. How would it feel to put Sam on top of the counter and just eat her out?
Heat started to spread in her lower region and down 'there'. She put a hand to her knees and started to gently knead them.
She shook her head. Hindi pa ito kumakain pero iniisip niya na agad na kainin ito. Bad, Amelia!
Sam looked at her and smiled. Ang inosente ng mga ngiti nito sa kanya ngayon and Amelia winced. But here she is, imagining Sam in indecent positions.
Kailan pa naging madumi ang utak niya?
Amelia stopped kneading her legs and knees when Sam put the plates of pancakes on the table. Then the bacon and eggs followed.
Kumalam ang sikmura niya nang maamoy ang bango ng niluto nito.
"Gutom ka na boss?"
She was sipping water then when Sam uttered those words. Nabilaukan tuloy siya. She spurted on her water. Napatayo tuloy ito at tinapik tapik ang likod niya.
"Dahan dahan lang."
Oh God! Amelia rolled her eyes. She imagined eating Sam slowly. Gusto niya nang batukan ang sarili niya. Nagiging manyak na ata siya pag dating dito.
Sam went back to her seat and started eating. Pero hindi na siya makatingin dito. Baka kasi magkasala na naman siya. She doesn't know what's happening to her pero she's glad that Sam is with her this morning.
"Boss. I am serious. I will come with you kung gusto mong makita ulit si Minch." Sam smiled.
Amelia couldn't help but return Sam's smile. And there it was again, the warmth that started to creep inside her heart. It was a burning sensation, but it felt so good.
"Thank you, Sam."
Sam's eyes lit up and it was enough for Amelia to start smiling wider. Nakangiting isinubo niya ang bacon at hiwa ng pancakes sa bibig niya.
She was glad Sam walked in on her office that day with Mr. Del Rio. Hindi niya akalain na ganito pala siya magiging kasaya na kasama ito.
She quickly types a reply to Bridge.
'I'll come to see you both.'
Gusto niyang ma-overcome ang takot niya at ang galit na nararamdaman niya sa nangyaring pagkalaglag ng baby nila ni Christian. Tama si Sam, she'll have to accept the fact that it happened. She could do better the second time.
And she hoped that the baby had a cute button nose and big brown almond eyes.