Warnings: dick reference, gay shit, fetishes, hornknee boy hours, quirky/cringe shit, dirtiness (sweat, grease, stickiness, etc.), Suggestive jokes/references, bad jokes, lots of pussy (just the word 💀), cocaine, uwu, self-deprecation, lack of logic.
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Bingus' pov:
*Sexy back by Justin Timberlake starts playing*
In the Flop-Bus was the one and only Big Floppa. Lawyer, doctor, famous singer, popular actor, 5 star professional chef, and even more. Every item in USF is named after him, even the country is named after him.
But personally, I don't care.
I prefer a simple life under a rock since I'm just not like other boys.
Floppa looked at me, pupils growing 10× bigger (making him look like an anime character) long greasy ears perking up.
Big Floppa's pov:
I got in the tacky disgusting outrageous dirty smelly shit hole horrible bad awful school bus, looking around in gay disgust (typical Wattpad bad boy style). I pushed some pussies out of my way, but I abruptly stopped to stare at the person sitting in the crusty back.
Hairless, Sphynx cat, Mother Mother shirt (he has no idea what that means), piercings, thick, overall an emo hotty.
I put my thick paw up into my "hair", brushing my toe beans between the thick bad boy anime like strands of greasy sticky fur. After making sure none of your mom had gotten in my expensive fur, and smoothing out my even more expensive cropped jacket with the word "#1 PUSSY" on it, I made my way towards the scrumptious emo Sphynx.
Bingus' pov:
I was so caught up in talking to my new friend Beluga about ̶o̶u̶r̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶d̶i̶c̶k̶ our toe beans fetish, I didn't notice Floppa coming towards us.
"Huge Floppa alert!" Beluga whisper yelled in my ears. I swinged around, getting whiplash and breaking my neck in the process. Preparing for the incoming hoemance.
"Hey cutie~! My name's Big Floppa, but you (everyone) can just call me Floppa. Wanna... get to know each other at school? Maybe arrange a hang out after school or something like that? Maybe..." There was a pause, Floppa smirked and bit his lip. "-We could play monopoly" Floppa said to me while brightly grinning.
I sighed, 'how could I say no to this cutie... wait wtf I'm gay?!'.
*Vine boom sfx*
"Sure... let's hang out at school I guess" I said. I was immediately engulfed in a giant floppa hug by Floppa. 'it feels good being wrapped up in his big arms...uwu' (I'M CRYING HRLP 💀)
Beluga snorted C̶o̶c̶a̶i̶n̶e̶ quietly at the Wattpad bromance unfolding in front of him. The bus soon stopped at our destination: FloppaHigh.
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Sussy x3
2023 A/N: this is the best chapter in this whole book