Pain.
The only thing I felt was pain in my whole body. I limped over to my small bedroom, my only safe place in this whole house.
I walked over to the bathroom and lifted my tshirt looking at all the bruises lingered all over my stomach. I gulped trying to poke my ribs but when I did, I get that it was a bad decision.
It's definitely broken. I looked at the girl looking directly into me from the mirror. Her light blue eyes were so dull and lifeless that it makes me shudder. Her once long hairs were now comes only upto her shoulders.
I cringed looking at her. So I quickly pulled out my painkillers from the drawers and gulped it without water. I am habitual to that.
So This is my daily routine from past 5-6 years. Daily beatings from Sir, bruises all over my body, and at last cursing my life.
"You Little Slut! Where Are You?" I flinched again from the voice I heard downstairs.
I immediately ran towards the room door running downstairs. Because The last thing I want him to come to my room again. Trust Me whenever He comes to mY room, it's worse for me.
"Y-Yes S-Sir" I bowed down. He never likes when I do eye contact with him. And I learned that thing hard way.
The next thing I knew was getting kicked in my lower abdomen making me fall down. Fresh tears escaped my eye as I bit my lip trying hard not to scream from the intense pain.
"Where Is My Dinner?" He scowled, his dirty breath fanning my face.
But we don't have any food left.
"I-I forgot" I lied because he loves it when I actually deserve punishment. Maybe he will lessen my punishment today.
"Tsk.tsk.You Whore! Punishment time, Isn't it?"
I sat down on my knees looking down getting ready for whatever he wanted to do and get over with it.
Maybe I can die from this one!
He removed his belt and I knew what is coming next.
I closed my eyes tightly waiting for pain to come but it never comes.
I opened my tear filled eyes just to see him giving me that dirty smirk which I knew never ends good.
He pulled out something from his pocket and I looked at it curiosly, it wasn't knife but It was something like that.
No! No! That's Dagger!Not Again!
I crawled backwards sobbing hard. It hurts bad.
"Pl-please S-Sir N-not th-that" I cried hard to which be just chuckle.
"Tsk.tsk.Now Remove Your Shirt" He spat angrily at me making ne flinch back in terror.
I shaked my head in no again and again. My old wounds have stopped healing, I can't prefer to get new ones.
The next thing I know was he kicked me hard in my stomach and knelt down to my level cutting my shirt, leaving me all vulnerable just in my bra.
He licked his lips and turned me over on my stomach on the cold floor. I thrash around in his hold but this bastard is too huge for me.
The next thing I knew was I let out a scream as he started carving on my back. What he will be carving now? He had already done everything to me. Didn't he get tired?
I never knew when I blacked out in the drawing room on the cold floor tile.
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I opened my eyes groaning a little when I look at my surroundings. It felt cold. I Quickly covered myself with my arms and went over to my room like a lifeless body.
I hate Myself for being so weak. I wish I had the courage to cut my wrist, I wish I would be strong enough to jump from the top floor. And I wish I could stop in the middle while crossing the road.
I hate that somewhere deep inside, I had a hope that everything will be alright. I will be happy again, I hate myself for having these thoughts.
But I am just a scared girl, who don't talk much. Just avoids everyone so that I won't get hurt. Get anxiety and panic attacks. And flinched at almost everything.
But there is Something I am proud Of! I am a very good liar. I am good at hiding how pathetic I am. I never shows my emotions to anyone so that they can't took advantage of that. Everyone around me think I am a happy chubby kid like normal ones. But I am beyond then normal.
I grabbed my clothes and went to bathroom making myself ready and used the concealer to cover all the bruises of my face and the areas which weren't covered with my clothes.
To be honest, I like School. That's the only place I felt safe. You may think I got bullied in school, but that's not the case, Actually school bully or you can say Queen Bee of the school is my best friend.
She finds me cute and always ends up poking my cheeks and squealing at my cuteness. Perks of being cute, I guess! Little did she know.
I grabbed my bag and went downstairs thanking god that he wasn't home. I hope he never comes home.
I limped my way over to my school since it's just 20 minutes walk here.
"Hey!! Cutie Hop In!" I heard someone behind me as I turned over to see Rebecca aka Queen bee of school. I smiled and opened the passenger door hoping in.
"Why don't you talk much Cutie?" She pouted, "Arghh, I am too talkative and you know it better then anyone" I rolled my eyes at her.
"Yes! That's the problem, You only talk with me, You need to come out from your bubble cutie, I won't be always there for you" She said frowning at the last line.
"Y-You leaving me?" I bit my lip to stop myself from crying.
I am not a crybaby.
She shake her head in a No but I know she was lying.
As we reached the school, we got out and she placed her hand on my shoulder glaring at anyone who would look at me weirdly.
"You didn't answer my question" I tugged her sleeve again.
"How about we talk in lunch?" She gave me a pained smile and I nodded and went to my classroom.
Because of Rebecca, Noone dared to mess with me. At first some girls named me as her minion but when Rebecca came to know about it, she lost her calm and almost smacked the girl guts out.
She looks like all those rude girls I read on wattpad, but with me she is pouty and adorable and not bitchy at all.
I looked at the time when the bell rang, finally Lunch brake! I got out of the classroom when the halls went clear, I don't want anyone to bump into me to made the pain in my body worse.
"So tell me?" I grabbed the snadwhich she brought me.
"My parents are shifting, So I have to change school" She looked down and then at me for any response.
"Oh That's great?" It came out more as a question.
One more person added to the list of my loved ones who eventually left me. Atleast she told me beforehand and we can say goodbye not like someone who just disappeared.
"Listen Lily, I really tried. But they aren't ready go listen" She spoke with tears brimming into her eyes.
"Its okay, Atleast we can say goodbye" I smiled while a lone tear escaped my eye.
"Shh, Don't cry, Cutie! We can always talk and I have brought a gift for you" She said in her high pitched voice to which whole cafeteria looks at us but noone dared to say anything.
"Do Your Own fucking business!" Rebecca shouted at everyone making them all look around nervously.
I almost chuckled. I widh I could be like her, Beautiful yet confident. Especially strong.
"Here it is!" She clapped her hands together excitedly.
I looked at the box in front of me. I narrowed my eyes and slowly opened the box making my eyes widen.
That's a freaking I-Phone!
"I-I can't take that Rebecaca!" I pushed it away.
"You acn and You Will! This is my Goodbye gift for you. That's the only way we can talk even we are far away. I can't afford to loose my Cutie Pie!" She pouted and squeezed my cheeks again.
"Don't fucking do this! Reb!"
I rolled my eyes and took it knowing noone can change her mind.
"When are you leaving?"
"Umm today Evening" She said nervously.
There was a complete silence after that. I don't trust my voice because If I open my mouth I will eventually start crying.
I just nodded and saw her looking at me with guilt.
After the whole school chaos we both said our goodbye and cried a lot. I never thought Rebecca can be a crybaby too. But trust me she cried more then me.
At this point, I have accepted that I can never trust anyone because one way or another they will eventually leave me alone at the end. Making my heart break over and over again.
In my thoughts, I made my way to my home. Is it even a home? I walked slowly as every step I took made me wanted to scream in pain. I pull out painkillers from my pocket and gulped 3 together to get a little help.
As I reached home, I looked around to see many police cars and people gathering in front of my home. I walked over to the lady police tugging her sleeve a little, "Umm Why are you all gathered in front of my house?" I asked quite nervously, she looked at me shocked.
"Oh baby, Your father just found dead with drug overdose but it seemed like a murder. Is your Mom still in picture?" She raised her brows. I nodded my head in a no.
I don't think I need to tell the whole story of my Mother to her.
He is Dead? He is really dead! That means I am free! But I am not 18 yet. I should cry, but tears weren't falling from my face. I am such a bad daughter.
"Oh okay, Why don't you come inside with me and grab your belongings, we can find social worker to see if you have any relatives out there" She spoke so softly that it almost made me cringe. I don't deserve softness.
I nodded and quickly went inside grabbing my important belongings which were My Dear Diary, My pink plushy and little bit of clothes.
Wait how can I forget It?
I rushed towards my bathroom and knelt down the sink pulling a well hidden box out from behind it. A smile crept my face looking at the silver box.
"Are You done?" I heard a voice and I quickly put thd box in my suitcase and dragged it outside the room.
The lady officer grabbed my bag in one hand and from other hand ahe grabbed my hand. I looked back at my old house one more time not knowing what is held forward in my future.
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And Now we are sitting in the police station, me being in the room when a lady in her mid 30s came in smiling softly at me.
"Okay What's your name Sweartheart?"
"I-I am L-Lily Mathew, 16 years old" I answered, "Nice to meet you Lily, I am Anna,your social worker. So I want to take your blood for DNA Test, to check if you have some relatives out there" She spoke.
I don't have any relatives but I nodded my head so she can do her duty and then put me somewhere.
After whole 30 minutes she came inside almost jumping up and down.
How can people be this happy?
I want to be happy too.
"Lily, We checked your DNA and it matched! You have 5 older brothers!"
I froze on my spot. 5 brothers?
Brothers means Men,
And Man means Pain..
That too 5.
"But I don't have any brothers" I replied. Maybe she got wrong report.
"No, You did! And I just talked with the older one, And they are more then happy to take you in." She grinned.
"Ohk" I looked down.
"So They will be reaching there atleast in an hour, So you can sleep or freshen up till they come, And I can prepare papers of your custody" She clapped her hands.
Why she is more excited then me.
𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦.
𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘦.
I pushed myself into the couch letting the sleep takeover me.
♡