author's note: trouble in paradise :>
Easerhead x Y/n
"Part 9"
I was discharged in the earliest of mornings, so I still had time to go to school. I packed my things, texted Amajiki and Nejire that I was arriving soon. I went to Mirio's room to let him know that I was being discharged and that we'll be waiting for his return. "Will you be okay?", I asked him out of concern for my friend, because he just lost Sir Nighteye and his quirk. He gave me a huge grin, a lively smile and a big tight hug. "I'll be fine, Y/n. We keep smiling for the people, right?", he reminded me so much of All Might, just like how Midoriya reminds me of All Might, too. I bid him farewell and proceeded to the door, smiling as I waved a hand goodbye – more like a see-you-later.
As I reached school, I immediately went to Heights Alliance, retrieving my things and setting down a few that I brought with me in the hospital. After that, I went to look for Amajiki and Nejire, but on my way looking for them, I couldn't help but feel eyes on me. What's going on? I felt exposed that I hugged myself and walked faster, hearing gossiping whispers all around me. I closed my eyes, hugged myself and then blinked away the nervousness I was feeling. I moved faster and saw Amajiki and Nejire approaching me. "Y/n", they called out, running towards me, Amajiki hiding me in a protective hug. "What going on?", I asked them. "You don't know? You haven't seen it?", Nejire stared into my eyes with a worried look, something I don't see her quite make. I felt as if the world hated me. She showed me her phone and my eyes widen at the picture I saw, with a caption that said, 'A student-teacher relationship happening at one of the most prestigious schools in Japan'. My heart sank as I stared in horror at the picture of me and Shota, kissing. It was probably taken last night when we were just outside Eri's room.
My ears started ringing and I fell, Amajiki catching me. They took me to the nurse's office and immediately called Shota. The news reached everyone in school, including the teachers and the principal. They had a meeting about it and Shota got scolded for having such a scandal, degrading the image of UA. On the bright side, Shota's circle of friends, was in support of him, because this was the first time, they've seen him so happy and alive, unlike the time of his other friend's death, Oboro Shirakumo, known as Loud Cloud. Midnight, All Might, Present Mic and even Principal Nezu, was in support of his decision, of his decision to pursue such a relationship. Shota might not admit it, but he was overjoyed by the amount of support he got from his friends, but still, Principal Nezu asked him to deny this rumor, saying that its photoshopped or do anything for the sake of the school and for the sake of myself as well. Shota wasn't thrilled on that part, but it was what needed to be done.
When Shota received the news that I had fainted, he immediately went to the nurse's office and sat beside me on a chair. I was pale, stressed out by all of this. When I regained consciousness, I saw my friends surrounding me, Recovery Girl and Shota. Amajiki and Nejire came out of the room, as well as Recovery Girl to give us some time to talk. "I'm sorry this got out of hand", he said as he put a hand on top mine. He smiled, but I didn't have the courage to face him. I felt ruined, exposed, being stripped of my very skin as I heard people gossip about me. The well-known, Big Four, was now disgraced and it's all of my fault. I was angry, at myself, because it was my fault, but my anger clouded my very mind and I took out that anger on Shota.
I pulled my hand away, sitting up, but never turning to face him. "Y/n. Principal Nezu asked me to fix this and I will", he said, inching closer. I remained quiet. "So that's how its going to be", he had a hint of sadness, mixed with irritation. "What do you want me to say, Sho? I guess I should be grateful that you're going to fix this, but how? My name is already being tainted", I turned to him, brows furrowed in anger, forehead creasing, clenched fists. "Is that what you're worried about? Not the fact that this might be a good thing?", he spat right back at me, forehead's creasing, clenched jaw, angry-looking eyes.
"A- a good thing? W-what's so good about this? Huh? I am being gossiped by people. My image is ruined, reputation ruined. I might as well have tainted the 'Big Four' name. So, what! What is so good about this?"
"You're still caught up with all your reputation bullshit"
"Yes! Sho. I AM NOT LIKE YOU! I care about those kinds of things, because I want the world to know that I AM NOT a person they should degrade for being a weird kid, or for being fatherless or whatever. I can't be a person who gets bullied easily, because it hurts ME!"
"What you're doing right now, is hurting me"
"None of this is a good thing... None of it. We were seen. Ugh! I shouldn't have started this. Why am I so stupid!", I covered my face with my hands as I rubbed my head. My eyes stung in pain and I could feel my tears forming. I was so furious with the world, with everyone and everything, with him.
"You regret this? Is that what you're trying to say?", he stared at me, disbelief in his eyes, hurt. I wanted to reach for his cheek and say that everything was going to be alright, but I couldn't.
"Maybe this was a mistake. You and I, aren't just meant to be"
"A mistake? Not meant to be? Bullshit! No wonder you lied to me about Endo, telling me that he's just a friend, when in fact, you two had a relationship. And how you said, you'd never associate yourself with someone as old as me... This is so fucked up, that I'm tearing up. I knew what I'd be walking to, but I thought you love me", he rubbed his eyes and my tears started falling down.
"Love isn't enough, Sho. Love is never enough. I'm sorry about what I said. I never meant it. But I can't deal with this. I can't deal with any of this. I am scared"
"And I'm not?!? You are literally asking me, no... telling me to end this. To end something that I don't want to end"
"I don't want this to end, too"
"Then don't end it"
"I can't. Sho, I do love you, but-"
"But what, Y/n"
"I can't do this anymore"
"I thought you'd be different. I guess I was wrong and I guess I'm as stupid as you are", he stood up, aggressively pushing away the chair and slamming the door shut. I burst into tears as he left me alone. I was hurt. Now, I was furious with myself, why was I born like this. Why I was wired like this. I love him way too much that I want to shout his name, but I couldn't. My mouth wouldn't let me. I was angry at myself for letting him go, even if I didn't want to.
...
I avoided everything and everyone, telling Amajiki and Nejire that I needed time for myself. I heard that in two days' time, Shota will have a conference interview, denying the rumor and saying that the photo was fake and it was photoshopped to ruin the good name of UA and its student and teacher. Right after the breakup we had, he announced throughout all of UA, that it was fake and that he was not in a relationship with me. It hurt me so much that I cried in my room, noon till night. As soon as all of the media had gotten the news, my mom called, seeing it on TV and reading an article about it.
"What the hell were you thinking?"
"It's all a rumor, Mom. I-"
"Are you in a relationship with him? Tell me the truth and nothing but the truth"
"No, Mom. I am not in a relationship with him", I felt a stab right in the chest. Why was I denying him? When I think of his position in all of this, it makes me feel stupid and hurt. Did I really hurt him? Did I really hurt someone I held dear? Hina? What would have you done in this situation?
"Okay then, he better make it right. Are you okay?", she asked and I couldn't answer because I was busy with staring into the ceiling of my room that I zoned out. "Y/n? Honey?", she called out. "Mom? What if I really did have a relationship with someone as old as him? Would you be okay with it?", I didn't know what was happening to me at this point. I was talking nonsense. I felt trapped in a bubble. "What kind of question is that?", she asked me. "I mean, what if I did have a relationship with a teacher, because I love that person, would you get mad?", I could hear her breath in the other end of the phone, like she was contemplating on how to answer. "Y/n, are you?", she means if I ever had a relationship with a teacher before. I chuckled at her reaction. "No, mom. I don't have a relationship, whatsoever", another lie. Lying hurts me, so much that I want to ripped my heart out of my chest. "Well... to be honest sweetie. I don't mind if you ever have a relationship with a man who's way older than you. If you really love the man, doesn't really matter, right? And did you know that your father was one of my teachers. Yes, we were only 5 years apart, but he was a teacher before he became my husband", I was shocked. I was amazed. I was downright, surprised. My dad was a teacher? I paused for a moment.
"Dad... was a TEACHER?!?"
"Yeah, he was. At the university I attended. I didn't want to become a hero and so I attended college and there, I met your father"
"How come I didn't know that?"
"You never ask, nor talk about him ever since he died"
"I guess so"
"That's fine, honey. I know that losing your father was hard for you, so I didn't want to pry nor force you to talk about him"
"Mom, I love you"
"I love you, too"
After that conversation, I ended the call and stood up, walking towards my door, almost touching the door knob, but I stopped. My body had stopped. All my heart wanted to do was run to him, run to him and tell him that I love him. That I was wrong. That I will shout his name, because he was important to me. But I stopped, my body had stopped. Why was I stopping?
I fell on my knees, crying. I still can't do this. I still can't be brave enough for all of this. I- I'm sorry, Sho. I don't have the strength to fight for you.