Frank's POV
Chemistry passed with an agonizing slowness that was going to drive me insane pretty soon, which was an oddity for me. I didn't usually love this class, but today I thought I might scream if I had to stare at the periodic table of elements for another second.
I couldn't even concentrate enough to take notes, I had just ended up doodling instead - another irregularity for me. I wasn't sure why I was feeling this way, I just couldn't shake this nagging sensation that something was very wrong, and the unexplained worry was consuming my thoughts.
Gerard seemed to be afflicted by my strange mood as well. As soon as we had entered the classroom, he had retreated to his desk and placed his head in his arms, and he hadn't moved all period. Maybe he was still feeling sick...but he had seemed fine this morning when he picked me up.
Heaving a frustrated sigh, I attempted to pay attention and actually get some work done, but it was a wasted effort. I couldn't force my brain to absorb any of the information Mr. Fuentes was explaining to us, so I decided to copy Gerard's actions and use my desk as a pillow for the rest of the class instead.
My other classes passed in a similar fashion, and by the time lunch rolled around, I felt like I had been in school for one hundred years, and I still had two more periods to go after this. I wondered if I had caught whatever had made Gerard feel ill last night, because I didn't feel right - not sick exactly, just off.
I sat at my usual table and waited for Pete and Mikey to show up, because even though I was dating Gerard now, I didn't want to ditch my friends. I always hated it when one of my friends got into a relationship and started to ignore me completely, and I was determined not to be that person.
"Hey Frank," Mikey greeted me with a halfhearted wave and I returned the gesture.
"Does it feel like this day is dragging on to you?" I sighed in irritation once Mikey had seated himself, because even lunch seemed like it should be over already, even though it had just started.
"Not really - why?" Mikey mumbled around a mouthful of food.
"I don't know, I am just in a funk today I guess."
"Did - uh...did something happen between you and Gerard?" Mikey shot me a nervous look as he spoke. We all knew Gerard was a sensitive subject, and Mikey and I had sort of agreed without actually saying anything to not bring him up anymore after the last conversation which had ended in me storming away.
"No...I mean - he was sick yesterday, but we are fine. Did he say something to you?" I couldn't hide the twinge of worry that twisted my tone of voice, but I had no idea what Mikey was taking about, and I was starting to freak out. Maybe my odd feeling from earlier meant something after all.
"Oh - okay, well that makes sense then. He was just acting really weird yesterday. He came home early from work and locked himself in his room, and he wouldn't come out for dinner or anything. I thought I actually heard him crying later that night, but if you say he was sick, then it was probably just the sniffles or something."
"Oh...yeah I think he just wasn't feeling well." I shook my head slightly to try and clear the cloud of fear that was still hanging over my thoughts. Nothing was wrong with Gerard - he was just sick...right?
"Sorry I mentioned it." Mikey smiled sheepishly, and I grinned back to show him there was no hard feelings. Mikey didn't seem to hate his brother so much when Pete wasn't around, and I never felt attacked when it was just Mikey and I. Speaking of Pete...he was pretty late for lunch, which wasn't like him at all. That boy loved food more than anyone I had ever known.
"Where's Pete?" I questioned when I didn't spot his dark head of hair anywhere. I hadn't forgotten about the look he had shot Gerard and I this morning, and I wanted to make sure he was doing okay.
"I think he stepped outside to make a phone call or something," Mikey shrugged before digging back into his food, and I began to pick at my own plate in silence.
Pete finally showed up about ten minutes later, and he looked worse than he had this morning, if that was even possible. His eyes were puffy and red, and his trademark eyeliner was almost completely wiped off. He didn't bother grabbing any food from the lunch line, instead, he just plopped down next to Mikey with a heavy sigh.
"Dude are you okay?" I had never seen Pete so shaken up before, and even though I hadn't known him that long, I was still concerned for him, and the fact that he hadn't gotten anything to eat was a dead give away that something was wrong.
"Yeah, it's nothing - just a shitty day," Pete tried to shrug it off, but I wasn't going to be deterred that easily.
"Seriously Pete, if you need to talk to someone, I've been told I'm a good listener." I hated it whenever one of my friends was sad; I always wanted to fix it, even if I had nothing to do with it.
"It's kind of super complicated Frank...and not that I don't trust you or anything - it's just not something I usually tell people." Pete shot Mikey a helpless look, but Mikey simply shook his head in response.
"Oh - okay then." I assumed by the way Mikey was just staring down at his finished plate that he knew what Pete was talking about, and I decided it would be best if I left them alone for a little bit. I wasn't very hungry anyway.
"I'm just gonna go see Gerard," I announced before standing up and dumping the remainders of my tray.
I wasn't trying to pout or anything, and I respected the fact that Pete had secrets, I just didn't want to stay there when Pete obviously wanted to talk to Mikey alone for a bit. I hoped they didn't think I was being rude for leaving so abruptly, but I would explain it to them later when Pete had calmed down.
I headed over to Gerard's corner where he always spent his lunch break, but I didn't see his familiar cloud of smoke floating in the air. I almost left, but that was when I spied Gerard slumped against the wall with his knees pulled up to his chest. He was almost entirely hidden in the shadows, and I would have missed him if I hadn't been looking so hard.
"Gee...you okay?" I don't know where the nickname came from, I had never called him that before, but it just fell from my lips like I had been doing it for ages.
"Oh...hey Frank," Gerard lifted his head and his lips twitched in the semblance of a smile, but it was forced - I could tell. His voice sounded clogged and rough, as if he had been crying, but his eyes seemed dry, and I didn't see any tear stains on his face.
"Okay - something is up, and I am not leaving until you tell me, and don't even try giving me that I'm sick bullshit." I sank down next to him so I was pressed against his side, and he leaned against my shoulder instantly.
"I'm fine Frank." I could hear how hard Gerard was trying to make his voice sound positive, and it wasn't fooling me for a second.
"Then why are you sitting on the ground and not smoking? I may not know you that well, but I'm not an idiot, and there hasn't been a day that I have come out here when you haven't had a cigarette in your mouth." I raised one eyebrow at Gerard to show that I didn't believe him, and he chuckled wryly in response.
"I - fuck...I don't know," Gerard breathed in deeply, and I recognized the action. I did the same thing when I was trying to hold back tears. Mikey's words from earlier rose up in my mind, and now I suspected that he might have been right about hearing Gerard crying last night.
"You don't have to pretend around me Gerard," I whispered softly, hoping he would open up to me. I might not be comfortable enough to pry into whatever had been upsetting Pete, but Gerard was my boyfriend, and I wanted him to be able to tell me when something was wrong.
When he met my gaze, my heart broke at the sadness his hazel eyes held. All of his defenses had finally come down in this moment, and I was getting another rare glimpse of the real Gerard that had caused me to be attracted to him in the first place, but this time he was hurting badly, and I wanted to soothe his pain away.
"Do you think I'm a bad person Frankie?" Gerard choked out, and even though I was caught off guard by his random question, I knew the answer instantly.
"No I don't. I think you have made some mistakes, but we all have - we wouldn't be human if we didn't, but I know that the Gerard you keep buried away is an amazing individual, and I wish you thought so too." I tried to put as much sincerity into my voice as possible, because I meant what I said, and I had to make sure that Gerard believed me.
"I did a shitty thing Frank - I didn't know...I didn't mean to, but now I - I can't -" Gerard couldn't finish his sentence, because he was overcome by a bout of tears.
The last thing I had expected when I came out here was to have Gerard breaking down on me, because Gerard just didn't do that, especially not at school. He kept his inner feelings so deep down, that I was shocked at the fact that something had managed to break the impenetrable barrier he kept around his heart.
I quickly shook off my surprise though, and I did the only thing I could think of and gathered Gerard into my arms, letting him sob brokenly against my chest as I stroked his hair soothingly.
I was beyond confused at this unexpected display of emotion, and I desperately wanted to know what had caused it, but Gerard could barely draw in enough air to breathe, much less talk, and I knew I was going to have to wait a bit before I got the answers I was craving.
I wondered if whatever had upset Gerard so badly had been me, maybe I had done something wrong earlier, and I hadn't even noticed, but I quickly shook off my negative thoughts. There was no way I could have reduced Gerard to this state - no - this was something much bigger, and the way he was clutching to my shirt like I was his lifeline didn't support that hypothesis at all.
Gerard's tears seemed endless, and I had a feeling that he didn't let himself cry often, so I even though I hated to see him in so much emotional pain, I didn't try to get him to stop.
He needed to let this out - whatever this was, and I was going to be there for him, because Gerard needed a shoulder to cry on, and I wanted to be that person that let him open up and show real emotions, I wanted to be the person he could truly be himself around, and I knew this was a start, and hopefully, once I figured out what was wrong, it would bring us even closer together.
This is shorter then I wanted it to be, but I couldn't decide what to write next, and I am really tired, so I just left it at that.
Thank you guys for reading this as always, and I hope you like this chapter, even though it's not my best.
<3 starr