I never got told I had to make a speech. I have nothing prepared. I look at Vittoria and she's just waiting for me to go up.
I take a deep breath and make my way to the front. I see Adriano's body and bite back a sob.
Everyone's staring at me and I clear my throat.
'Good morning.' I say, my voice echoing throughout the church. 'Most of you know me, but if not I'm Dilara Caesar, Adriano's girlfriend.'
The entire place is silent and a man coughs.
'I'm granted the honour to share my thoughts and feelings about Adriano with you today.' My voice shakes.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and see Xuan and Alessandro standing behind me on my right. To my left Zoya and Mimi are there.
I continue speaking and it comes naturally to me.
'Adriano was my boyfriend, but not only that he was also my best friend, my confidante, And the love of my life.' I say, while tears fall down my cheeks. 'He was a man who was passionate about the things he loved, and also hated.'
I clear my throat again.
'In his version of how we met, I was head over heels and swooning over him.' I say. 'But in reality he nearly killed me on my first day at Stanford Hill.' I laugh awkwardly.
Everyone laughs and then they fall silent.
'We would argue, but that's normal.' I say. 'There was never not a time when he wouldn't make it up to me.'
'Every day that we went through he made sure I wouldn't go through it alone.' I sob, my voice cracking.
I look down and take a deep breath.
'You got this,' Mimi says squeezing my shoulder.
'The last memory I have of him is one of my best ones.' I explain. 'It where he gave me this ring.' I put up my hand.
'Before...' my voice cracks. 'Before he was taken from me, from us.'
That's it.
I completely break down crying.
Xuan puts and arm around me and Alessandro steps forward.
'He was a great brother, boyfriend and friend,' he finishes off my speech. 'He will be misses by all.'
Everyone applauds loudly.
I can't stop shaking as Xuan takes me back to my seat.
Vittoria looks shocked at my speech.
I suddenly feel extremely dizzy.
'Xuan I need to step outside,' I say tugging on his shirt.
'Are you all right?' He asks.
'I need to breathe,' I gasp.
He nods and leads me out of the church, as Vittoria takes the stand and starts her speech.
We sit down at the steps of the church and Xuan doesn't move away.
He lets me cry into him, even if it means my makeup is getting everywhere.
He rubs my back soothingly.
'You were really strong up there,' he says. 'Why didn't you tell us you made a speech?'
'I didn't know,' I reply. 'I literally just found out when the priest called my name.'
'That's really weird.' He replies.
We sit in silence and all you can hear are my cries.
I finally collect myself, and I look at Xuan's shirt. My foundation and mascara is smudged on it.
'I'm so sorry,' I gasp.
'It's fine,' he laughs. He buttons up his blazer and smiles at me.
People start walking out of the church.
'It's time for the burial.' Xuan sighs.
We stand up and I link my arm through his.
We walk behind the church into an empty, grassy clearing. There are a couple tombstones and we reach the place where Adriano is going to be.
A couple of men carry Adriano's coffin and everyone crowds against the hole in the ground.
I feel like my knees are going to give way so I cling onto Xuan.
He puts his arm around me, supporting me.
'I've got you,' he mumbles.
I look around.
Alessandro and Mimi are holding hands. Amira is crying into Lorenzo and he's comforting her. Zoya and Terzo have straight faces on.
I guess they're trained at hiding their feelings. Alora is comforting Matteo as he cries.
They start lowering the casket into the ground and I start sobbing.
Zoya steps forward.
'In life we loved you dearly, in death we love you still.' She wipes her eyes. 'In our hearts you hold a place that no one else can ever fill.'
They lower his casket into the ground.
I swear my legs give way.
'Xuan I can't do this,' I sob, covering my mouth with my hand. 'I can't do this anymore.'
'It's nearly over,' he says.
'No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye, you were taken from us before we knew it and only God knows why.' Alora says, her voice cracking.
Xuan cradles my head into his chest and we fall to the ground. I can't stop the tears falling out.
'It's hard to turn the page, when you know someone won't be in the next chapter. But the story must go on.' Zahira says, stepping forward.
Xuan and I rock back and forth.
I don't care if I'm making a scene. I can't live through this anymore.
'This is not a goodbye, but a thank you,' the priest says. 'Thank you for coming into our lives and loving us, thank you for all the memories we won't forget but will cherish.'
I crying so much.
'That's it, they're done.' Xuan mumbles, stroking my hair.
I turn around and see them filling the hole with dirt.
'He's gone.' I cry.
I start hyperventilating, I don't know what to do with myself, I'm so lost.
'Xuan Im never going to hear his voice again.' I breathe. 'Why couldn't it be me?'
'Don't say that,' Xuan says.
People put flowers on Adriano's grave. They all start walking to their cars so we can go to the wake.
Zahira and Chase are kind enough to have it at their house.
One of the body guard take a gun out of his holster an shoots it into the air three times.
Everyone else follows his move, signalling that the funeral is over.
That he's gone
Forever.
And he's never coming back.
*AUTHORS NOTE*
Guys I had a couple mental breakdowns during this but that's fine. Just remember that the story doesn't end here, Dilara has more coming her way and so do the Giovanni's.
Instagrams:
@adrian0_giovanni
@dilara_caesar
Have a nice day!