"Cailean and I talked yesterday," I huffed in between the sets.
"I know," Feytan replied. A few days ago, he stopped giving me pointers on my posture as often. My body had adapted to my new life in Rahas, and very soon, I'd be ready for my first run. The days were creeping in closer, even if I didn't know when exactly I'd be ready.
"You know?" If Feytan knew... "Does Aven know?" A slight panic underlined my voice, but through my heavy breathing, I wasn't sure if it could be heard.
"Sari," he sighed. "Do you honestly believe you could go for a walk in the Alpha's private gardens without said Alpha knowing about it?"
I shook my head as I stopped the set Feytan had instructed. "One can hope."
"Hope can lead to many outcomes. None of them being Aven not knowing who's in his private gardens."
Sun burn me. He hadn't done anything about it yet, but I was sure he wouldn't just let this go. I was sure, more than anything, that his private gardens weren't meant for wolves like me. Or just me.
Feytan seemed to notice the worry that crept into my face. "Relax, Sari. Cailean has vouched for you."
"He has?" He didn't strike me to be the wolf who'd bother himself with saving me from whatever petty punishment Aven had in mind.
Or perhaps the punishment just wasn't so petty.
"He seems to like you." Feytan offered me another smile before he ordered me a new set of exercises, one that made every muscle in my body burn. But I'd grown to like the burning feeling in my body.
Because the burning meant that I was one step closer to my first transformation. I was one step closer to being able to fight back.
And because it in no way compared to the burning of fire.
I entered the more formal dining room, which was more elegantly decorated with crystal chandeliers and art covering the walls. My eyes immediately began scanning the already seated crowd, trying to find my empty spot at Lotta's table.
I found her and her friends shortly after, and started making my way over to their table.
But as I passed the front table, where Aven and his company were seated, Cailean called to me. "Ah, Sari, I was wondering when you'd show up. Please, have a seat."
I looked over to my left, and saw Cailean had placed an empty seat between him and Aven, one he was now offering to me.
Aven looked visibly frustrated by the thought of me sitting at his table, but as our eyes locked, he flicked his head over to the empty chair. A silent order for me to sit down.
Cailean plainly ignored Aven's loathing of me. It wasn't possible he didn't notice, he just didn't seem to care if he offended his fellow Alpha.
I, however, did still care about not offending any Alpha, and so I took a little bow before I walked over to the empty chair. Jerr shot me an amused look as I pulled the chair out, and sat down between two of the most powerful wolves known to us.
I had to suppress a gulp, but by Jerr's chuckle, I realized it had still come out.
Cailean called on someone to fetch me a plate full of food. Normally, I'd go to the banquet and fill it myself, but the wolves at this front table were served by other, lower ranked wolves.
It felt wrong that I was seated here. And that feeling only intensified with all the hateful glares I was receiving from all around the room.
"I have heard Sari has been training daily," Cailean commented, as soon as the wolf who brought me my plate full of food had left.
"She has," Aven confirmed. "Feytan supervises her training."
"Very wise," Cailean mused, as he took a bite of his meat. If I had to take a guess, tonight we were eating pork. But my nerves weren't letting me focus on the smell or the taste of the food. "Any sign of powers?"
He asked it so plainly, as if it was just a daily topic of conversation. I didn't dare interrupt him.
"Not really, no," Feytan said softly, a comforting look sent my way.
"How strange," Cailean commented. But he didn't seem very surprised as he kept picking at his meat and vegetables.
"Not really," Aven replied. "If she had powers, why would Beckett waste her?"
I silently kept chewing my food, pretending I wasn't here. They were clearly doing the same.
"She has no powers," Mallee cut in. "Beckett just liked to keep her as his pet."
I'd never felt welcomed by Mallee in this pack. She hadn't openly proclaimed her dislike towards me, but the subtle glares and the clear disgust in her words told me all I needed to know. I even got the feeling she liked me less than Aven did.
"Ah, yes. Beckett's favorite plaything." Cailean sounded amused. How could he find this - the horrors that I'd gone through thanks to Beckett - amusing? "How are you planning to utilize that, if I may be so bold to ask?"
Aven pierced a freshly cut slice of his meat with his fork as he answered. "We're waiting until we're absolutely sure she has no powers. If it still appears she does, she will be trained like any other gifted wolf."
"Hmm," Cailean hummed, but he didn't seem satisfied.
Aven noticed it too, and sighed. "What would you do differently, then?" His question sounded daring, a trap laid to see if Cailean would take the bait and bruise Aven's ego.
Of course he would. It's not like he had shown any sign that he cared about Aven's mood.
"Games are not only played physically, Aven. It would do you good to remember that every now and then."
Jerr's eyes flashed an intense green, but the shimmering moment had passed as soon as it had appeared. Other than that, he, Feytan and Mallee kept silently eating their dinner, as if they couldn't hear the two Alphas bickering. No one dared interrupt their conversation, not until the victor of this discussion had been crowned. I found it wise to follow their lead, with a speeding heart, since I was not only the topic of their conversation, I was also seated directly between them.
"Your advice is appreciated, welcomed even, Cailean. But I've also perfectly managed without it. You are not the only capable Alpha present in this room. It would do you well to remember that every now and then," Aven shot back.
Cailean did not seem amused by Aven's lash, his everlasting subtle smile straightening into a grim frown. I hadn't noticed how happy his expression always seemed, not until it all faded away from his face. "Careful there. You may be powerful, but you are still young, with a lot to learn."
"I have learned a lot on my own, and I am perfectly capable of running my own pack." By the Moons, were both Alphas risking their alliance over a pissing contest?
I looked over to Jerr, only to find him relaxed in his seat, enjoying his second portion of the food. He seemed unphased by the back and forths between the two Alphas, as if it was the most normal thing to happen over dinner. Bloody Wise Moon.
His subtle wink was all it took to ease my nerves enough to continue eating.
"All we're talking about recently is Beckett and his games. How to play them," Cailean continued, seemingly ignoring Aven's last statement. "All we're discussing seems to be how best to strike at Beckett, how to win a game played by his rules. The answer to most of your questions is sitting right here, between us. You stole his favorite piece. Use her against him."
"And how exactly would you expect us to do so?" Aven grumbled, his temper clearly on the verge of explosion.
"You've got a masterfully playable move right here," he said, as he looked straight at me. His gaze pierced a hole through my body, but he wasn't looking through me. He was just looking at me, very, very intensely. I kept chewing my food, pretending I didn't notice, but my own body betrayed me as my heart kept speeding up. "Refine her, even more than you're already doing with your commander. Turn her into a weapon, and then aim it at him." Cailean said the words so lightly, they floated past me, in between the two Alphas. It gave me such an uneasy feeling, as if my body was readying itself for a hidden, lurking danger somewhere I wasn't yet aware of. "Even if she has no powers."
"Do I have any say in this?" I asked, interrupting their strategic conversation.
"Of course you do," Jerr answered immediately.
I only raised my eyebrows at his comment, as I kept eating my food. How they were talking clearly showed that I, in fact, did not have a say. Whatever Aven decided, would happen. But I knew that the best thing for me now was to keep quiet. I shouldn't even have interrupted them in the first place.
Cailean rested his hand on mine, a gesture that radiated kindness, but I doubted it rooted from that as well. "Sweet child, I did not mean to offend you. But what would you rather be used as? A pawn or a weapon?"
"I don't want to be used," I said quietly.
"Wolves like you don't have the luxury of getting what they want in a war, young wolf." Before I could ask him what he meant with wolves like me, Cailean put an end to this conversation. "It seems this talk has gotten too grim for dinner time. Jerr, if you don't mind my asking, are there any plans for tomorrow night?"
I didn't listen to Jerr's answer. I didn't listen to anything they were talking about anymore.
As soon as I had finished my plate, I excused myself and went straight back to my room.
Wolves like you don't have the luxury of getting what they want in a war. Cailean's words kept repeating themselves over and over in my head.
There were no wolves like me. There was only me.
And I could get what I wanted. I could at least try.
"Sari, are you in here?" I heard, after someone had knocked on my door. I immediately recognized Lotta's voice, but I was in no mood to see anyone, so I kept quiet, hoping she would think I wasn't here.
It was foolish of me to think a wolf could be fooled in that way. "Of course she is," a male voice said. "Don't you smell her? What has happened to you?"
"Of course I smell her," Lotta grumbled. "I just wanted to be polite, you know? No, you don't, that's right."
After that, Lotta didn't hesitate to open my door, and as she walked in my room, Vince soon followed.
He looked around for a short moment, before he jokingly said, "It's nice to finally see another bedroom in this place. Lotta's four walls have gotten boring."
Lotta rolled her eyes at his dig, and she, too, was ignoring the clear mess that I was. "As if you've only been in my bedroom here!"
"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," he smirked, as he closed the door behind him.
My room wasn't big enough for three, and it suddenly felt very crowded.
"Everything okay, Sari?" Lotta asked as she sat down on my bed, next to the pile of mess that was me. "Lunch looked intense."
"I'm fine," I said.
"Tss, I see I still have to teach you how to lie," she laughed.
I sat back up and plastered a smile on my face. "No, really, I'm fine. I'm just tired - training was hard this morning."
Lotta rolled her eyes, as Vince started rummaging through the few books I had on my desk. "Come on, Sari. You've never once needed to lay down and take a nap after your training with Feytan. You're a terrible liar, it's just painful to listen to."
"Lotta, I'm not in the mood-" I tried explaining, but Lotta was having none of it.
"We're going out drinking. You're coming with."
"No," I protested. I was in no mood to go out, even with Lotta.
"It wasn't a question."
"Isn't it too early to go?" I tried arguing. It had just been lunch, how could we go out now?
Lotta and Vince shared a glance before Vince answered my question. "It's never too early to have fun," he countered, jokingly offended. "But also no, the Sun has begun lowering already."
It had? How long had I been here, crumpled on my bed?
"Come on," Lotta urged as she grabbed my arm and effortlessly dragged me out of my bed. "I know just the place."
A/N: I'm just dropping another rare Author's note to tell you guys how much I love writing Lotta's character. But now that I'm here, what are your opinions on the story so far? Who's your favorite character? Least favorite? Is there a chapter you've gone back to read it again? (I'm guilty of that myself, lol.)
Anyways, I hope you love Sari's journey as much as I love writing it. If you do, please feel free to comment, vote, ... I'm super excited everytime I hear back from my readers!