My parents go to bed early from today's activities, I stay hidden away in the library with Grayson. Dinner consisted of my father talking through the things he said today and making sure he didn't say something he shouldn't have. My mother tells him he didn't and that he did a fantastic job.
I just push around my food as usual and keep my eyes down.
No praise for me for keeping my mouth shut. They'd never thank me for doing as I say, it's expected or I'm brushed as immature and difficult. I'm sick of it, so sick. My stomach flips and I try to ignore it, realising that I never have an appetite at dinner time because being in their presence puts me off.
It enrages me.
When they take themselves up to bed early, Grayson follows me straight down to the library where I collapse onto the leather sofa and stretch my legs. He sits down beside me and offers me a smile.
"Are you hungry?" He asks softly.
"Not really," I comment and exhale a short sigh.
Grayson's dark brows press together. "You sure? You've really not eaten much today and I don't like seeing you not eat."
"I know," I suppress a smile. "You always mention."
"Because I worry about you."
That statement does weird things to my heart. He worries about me, which means he cares. Which means... I don't exactly know what that means but it should mean something. Especially if it's making my heart go crazy in my chest.
"Honestly," I sit up on my knees and shuffle closer to him. "I'm fine."
Grayson ponders for a second what he's going to say but then settles with, "okay."
I chew on my lip and study him, still dressed in his black shirt rolled up to his elbows and work trousers. "Thanks again for earlier, I've only really just come to terms with it. But thank you, I think I was a bit in shock at the time."
"It's my job to protect you," he rubs a hand against the stubble on his cheeks. "I won't let anyone hurt you, not if I can stop it myself."
My eyes flick between his dark, warm eyes and I offer him a smile. "Well thanks anyway, even if it's your job. I appreciate it."
Grayson rests his muscly arm on the back of the sofa and places his head onto his fist. "I don't know if you believed me earlier," his lips move slowly and he focuses on my eyes. "But you looked incredible today."
"Stop," I place my hand over my face, not sure what to do with his overwhelming compliments. Grayson grabs my hand and lowers it from my gaze, our eyes finding each other again. "Too many compliments and I might explode."
"Do your parents ever tell you how pretty you are?"
I glance up at the wall covered with books and I narrow my gaze. "No," I say after a few moments. "Not that I can really remember. You're one of the only people to say anything, apart from the odd maid who only spent a couple of weeks here."
"Well," Grayson shifts so our knees graze and it sparks a fire up my leg. "When I say it, you know it must be true."
The corners of my lips tug at his words. "Ahhhh yes," I say suddenly. "I'll remember that next time that you are the speaker of truth and nothing but."
Grayson nudges my knee against his properly this time but doesn't pull back, he lets our contact be known and I wasn't going to fight it. I enjoy it, a bit too much.
"Are you always so defensive?" He quirks a brow.
"Are you always so forward?"
"Yes. Life is too short to beat around the bush."
I blink back at him and take in his gorgeous face, drawing in closely with his lips.
Life is too short. I know that, I know that very well and I may end up dead before even getting a chance to live mine.
My chest tightens as I settle back on his eyes. Everything inside my body vibrates as I suck in a breath and try to calm my nerves. But when I stare into his gaze all I want to do is fall head first into his arms.
I've been craving his touch since that day he cuddled me, held me so tightly to make sure that I couldn't magically slip away. I adored every moment and I want that right now.
He can't call me beautiful and not have any sort of feelings for me. Unless everyone on the outside world goes around calling each other beautiful and incredible just to be nice and I've got the wrong end of the stick.
But in my head that isn't something you say to someone if you're just trying to be friendly.
I could be wrong but it's too late and I don't think before what I'm about to do. My knees push forward and I lean in towards him, our faces merely inches from each other.
His gaze keeps on mine as I can feel the warmth from his face. I push through my nerves and press my lips to his, just about grazing skin but then I'm left cold. So cold.
Grayson pulls back, his expression one I would consider of horror.
Panic and sheer embarrassment runs through every vein in my body and I jump up from the sofa, panting deeply. I run a hand through my hair and back away, nausea creeping up my throat and if Grayson wasn't with me right now, I'd vomit all over the floor without thinking.
Rejection. That shit hurts. Bad.
"Shit," I curse under my breath and turn from the sofa.
I can't even look at him. Fuck. I've messed everything up. Everything.
"Ever," Grayson's soft voice follows me but I continue to shake my head.
"I'm sorry," I mumble quietly but everything inside hurts. "I read that completely wrong. Fuck. I'm sorr-"
His hand wraps around my wrist and he pulls me back so that our attention is on each other but I can't even look up. My face feels like the temperature of the sun, burning through my skin that it might actually sizzle off the flesh.
But Grayson grabs my face between his hands and towers over me completely, forcing my gaze up to his. His chest rumbles and he attempts to control his own breathing, my brows crease because I'm confused. Why is he reacting like that if he's rejecting my actions?
"I told myself not to get involved with you, emotionally," his voice is deep and gravelly. "I told myself I couldn't because it's dangerous and this is my job. If we get caught, we..."
I nod up at him and push back the tears of embarrassment because this hurt like falling from a tall building and surviving. Here to witness the aftermath which is the worst part, you'd just wish you were dead to save yourself from this humiliation and pain.
"I know," my voice is pathetic and wobbly. "What I did was stupid and I know what is at stake for you."
Grayson's jaw clenches but he doesn't release my face, he takes one step forward and my back hits into the pillar. I swallow harshly and look up at him. I could physically see his mind ticking over with thoughts, ones I wish I could listen to.
Then his eyes flick down to my lips and he grazes his thumb over the bottom one gently, making my knees go weak at the simplest of touches. My body melts into his hold and I shudder. Eyes closing as he inches closer, both of our breathing is hard and heavy. A mixture of uneven rhythms.
"But I just can't stay away from you, you are so intoxicating, Everly," he mumbles and I snap my eyes open to look at him. Shock taking over my body at the lust and care inside the depths of his eyes. "I really cannot help myself and I don't want to say no anymore because I cannot stop thinking about you."
My head presses back to the pillar, tilting my head up to him. Grayson's eyes holding me captive and we stare back at each other, lips so close that I can almost taste the mintiness of his breath.
I can feel my stomach clench beneath my clothes and I shiver when Grayson brings our lips together, finally.
He pushes me back into the pillar and his chest is flush against mine, sending my mind into a blaze of ecstasy. The kiss is hard at first but then Grayson opens his mouth and I copy his actions.
Following along with his lead because I have never kissed anyone. I've never had someone else's lips on mine but now I have Grayson's, they're the only lips I'll ever want.
His hands drop from my face and down my back, over my butt and gripping my thighs to pull me up. My legs instantly wrap around his waist and he pins me to the wall with his hard, firm chest. Both of our hearts thumping in unison but it puts me at ease.
My arms snake around his toned shoulders and I grip the back of his neck with my hands, dragging my fingers through the back of his hair. Grayson hisses against my mouth and I open my eyes, afraid I hurt him.
I pull back hesitantly but his eyes are burning with a desire that I've never seen before but it made me feel so wanted, so seen. He crashes his lips back down on mine again, now presuming he likes it when I play with the back of his hair.
His tongue slips into my mouth gently and I copy his lead, gently and yearning. Not wanting to get too ahead of myself but by the looks of things, he's a good teacher and I'm feeling every emotion under the sun in my glowing heart.
I whimper into his mouth as his teeth graze down on my bottom lip, Grayson's fingers kneading into the skin on the backs of my thighs.
He rips me from the wall and carries us over to the sofa, not once breaking the kiss. I didn't want him to, my mouth belonged on his. It felt so right, so natural and I wish that I could do this all day and every day.
Grayson lowers himself to the sofa and my legs slide over his, straddling his thighs. His hands explore underneath my t-shirt, gliding over the skin on my back and I arch into his touch.
I continue to explore his mouth and kiss his soft lips, hands gripping onto his shoulders for support. He drags his hand down the centre of my spine, leaving goosebumps across every inch of my skin.
A deep groan erupts from the back of my throat and Grayson stiffens. He pulls back but keeps our lips close, just about grazing. "Those sounds are going to kill me, Everly." His voice is a low warning but he's panting so I know whatever I did has affected him, big time.
His large, warm hands take my waist and he lowers me down onto my back, he works his way between my legs and I feel the weight of his chest on mine. Hands either side of my head whilst his lips take control and his tongue battles mine for dominance.
My head feels like it's in the clouds. Never have I thought kissing could be so pleasurable. Especially emotionally. I couldn't get enough, my hands continuing to explore his muscles through the fabric of his shirt.
Grayson slows down the kiss and devours my lips instead, like he's tasting every last drop. I can feel every moment and every spark between us, making me catch my breath when he cups the side of my cheek and tilts my head up to him so he can get a better angle of my lips.
Slowly, very slowly, Grayson pulls away and looks down to me. Gazing over my swollen lips and greedy eyes, ones begging for more kisses but he breathes slowly and our chests brush whilst we pant for air.
He glances over his shoulder up at the clock above the fireplace and curses silently to himself. "I should probably get you to bed," he comments huskily before pulling away from my body.
Everything turns cold instantly and I whine inside.
I sit up and push myself up onto my knees beside him. "Please don't let this change anything," I beg with concern and Grayson turns to me with a look of confusion. "You're the only reason I want to get up in the mornings."
Grayson cups my head and leans forward to press a tender kiss to my forehead. "This won't change anything," he whispers into my skin and my eyes close with satisfaction. "I promise."
My head raises to look at him and he stares back at me with a look of honesty, I instantly believed him. "Okay," I mumble and he snakes a hand to the back of my neck, holding me close to his chest.
I inhale deeply, the residue of his aftershave still lingering on his clothes. It makes my heart rate increase and my body relaxes into his, everything feels doable when he's here. Like I could be normal if I tried or if I was given the change.
And someone like Grayson would actually want to be with me for who I am.
♛ ♛ ♛
Author's Note
Read up to chapter 39 on Patreon. Link in bio!
AHHHH they kissed!! Was that not the sweetest thing?🥺🥺🥺
Who was ready to throw hands at Grayson for pulling away at first?
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it holds such a special place in my heart!💘
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Thank you for reading and supporting, always😌
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