A Harry Potter and Twilight c...

By MsAnonymous_Heart

268K 4.3K 2.1K

Cullens go to Hogwarts and meet the HP gang! Pure randomness happens which includes Nessie with a gun and too... More

A Harry Potter and Twilight crossover
Owning
Chapter 3- Meeting The Lumpy Whore
Chapter 4- Carlisle speaks a bad word!!! And maybe other things....
Chapter 5- Janie Comes to Tell Awesomeness, While Melfy Gets Emo Hair!
Chapter 6-Emmet's Cookies!
Chapter 7-The Attack of the FANGIRLS!
Chapter 8-Beware of the Voldeturi! We Have Cupcakes!
Chapter 9-Take That Hermione!
Chapter 10-Stop, Drop & Roll with Big Pockets while Edward is Clonned?!
Chapter 11-Runaway DOOSE!!!
Chapter 13-To the Forest of Make-Believe!!!!
Chapter 14-This Forest is Wierd
Chapter 15-Mentos and Coke! What Fun!
Chapter 16- The Levels of INSANITY!!! And a Violent Nessie
Chapter 17-Snape's Date and MORE
Chapter 18- Twittering and Poo
Chapter 19-I Don't Have A Title For Anything Like This......
Chapter 20-Lots of Comedy and This is so Retarded
Chapter 21- BEWARE! OF INFORMATION!!!!!!
Chapter 22-Lots to go around

Chapter 12-The Majority of Poor People!!!!

9.1K 163 19
By MsAnonymous_Heart

Chapter 12-The Majority of Poor People!!!!

"HE-HAW!" Rosalie said and pranced around the room. The students and teachers ran around trying to capture her, but she would either bite them, or hind leg them.

"I got her!" Snape said and held up his wand. Rosalie turned around and hit him below the waist.

"Whoa! You got his batteries!" Emmet said and started to laugh. Snape fell to the ground.

"Why are you crying? Like you ever used them." Edward said. Rosalie bounded out of the room and out of sight. Emmet chased after her.

"I hope he doesn't eat her." Esme said, looking back.

"I wonder what a Doose would taste like. Crap, now I'm thirsty." Carlisle said.

"That test was easy, I bet I aced it." Hermoine said the next day as Harry and Pals sat around the lake on a lazy Saturday.

"Off coarse you would." Ron muttered.

"GET BACK HERE ROSALIE!" Emmet yelled from across the lake as the stiletto of Emmet and Doose-Rosalie pranced bye.

"HE-HAW!" Doose-Rosalie said and the two diapered into the forest.

"I wonder if he'll catch her." Harry said.

"Probably, he is a vampire." Hermione said.

"Move over poor people." Malfoy came prancing by, holding up a cheat sheet of the test they took yesterday in potions.

"Hey! You have a cheat sheet! That's against the rules!" Hermione said.

"F*ck the rules, I have money." Malfoy said and his gang trampled bye and over to a shady tree.

"Are you going to take that crap?" A voice said. They turned around to find Edward and Cedric standing together, still wearing the same thing.

"Uh, no." Ron said.

"Then punch that S.O.B." Edward said.

"But he's rich." Ron said.

"So? you have red hair." Edward pointed out.

"Gasp! I never thought about that!" Ron rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"What does Ron having red hair have to do with being better than Malfoy?" Hermione asked.

"Red hair is the color of the majority! The majority of poor people!" Cedric said.

"So...?" Hermione asked.

"Show him the power of the minority and kick his rich little p*ssy ass!" Edward said.

"Yeah! I'm not going to be pushed around!" Ron whipped out his wand.

"What the? What's up with the wooden dildo?" Edward said.

"This is what I'm going to use to kick said ass." Ron said.

"No," Cedric took Ron's wand and tossed it into the lake, "your going to use your fist and your feet!" Edward finished.

"What? A fist fight?" Ron said.

"Yeah, make him cry." Edward said.

"Uh, OK?" Ron said.

"Now go get him Spider Man!" Edward pushed him over to Malfoy's gang.

"What do you want Weasel?" Malfoy sneered.

"Hiyah!" Ron punched Malfoy pitifully.

"This is the part were we run." Cedric said and Edward and Cedric took off. There was a loud yelp and the ground shook.

"I would have beaten him up if Crabble and Goyle didn't sit on me." Ron grumbled a few hours later in the hospital wing.

"Keep telling your self that Ron." Hermione said.

"It was a good thing Emmet and Doose-Rosalie ran bye and trampled Crabble and Goyle." Harry said.

"Hey Ronald, we herd about the fight." Cedric and Edward reappeared.

"Yeah, thanks allot." Ron glared.

"Look, next time you should try and not punch like a prepubescent girl?" Edward suggested.

"Maybe you could beat up Malfoy for me!" Ron said.

"Uh, no, I'm not a thug." Edward said, deflating Ron. Emmet walked in with Doose-Rosalie on reigns.

"Good news everybody, Snape agreed to make a potion to turn her back to normal after I threat end to eat him." He said.

"Uh, cool?" Cedric said.

"C'mon Doose-Rosalie, that's a good girl." Emmet and Doose-Rosalie disappeared in the hallway.

"I got to go, I got to take a shower." Cedric said.

"Excuse me?" Edward asked.

"I got to take a shower, I'm starting to smell." Cedric said, putting up his hands.

"Gasp! And ruin your hair?" Edward looked insulted.

"Relax, I'll just use Grease." Cedric said.

"I use natural hair grease! You are not worthy to look like me!" Edward said and slapped Cedric across the face.

"Hey! That wasn't nice!" Cedric said.

"Shut up you hasben and get out of my sight!" Edward said.

"Dad? When are we going to leave?" Renesmee walked in.

"Uh-"Edward started.

"DAMN IT! DOOSE-ROSALIE GET BACK HERE!" Emmet's voice yelled.

"He-Haw!" Doose-Rosalie croaked in response.

"Looks like Emmet lost Rosalie again." Renesmee said, a smile forming on her face.

"Hold that thought Nessie, I got to go help." Edward said and left.

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