A Harry Potter and Twilight crossover

Chapter 16- The Levels of INSANITY!!! And a Violent Nessie

BEWARE!!!!! VIOLENT NESSIE!!!!! Its just crack and its for fun... Dont like it? BEAT IT!

Chapter 16- The Levels of INSANITY!!! And a Violent Nessie Who Loves Her Money.....

"WAHH!" Edward cried on the couch.

"Edward? Are you upset you got into a fight with Bella? You know she forgave you." Rosalie said.

"Not that! I'm upset because I broke up with myself!" Edward cried.

"Huh?" Rosalie asked.

"I dated myself, then I got into an argument with myself, and now myself is mad at myself and myself is avoiding myself, and then myself caught myself stalking myself!" Edward said.

"Edward, do you know how many levels of insanity that sentence just contained?" Rosalie asked.

"I'm so sad at myself!" Edward cried.

"Just don't kill yourself." Emmet grumbled across the room.

"NUTS! I got nuts!" Jacob burst into the Grrifendor common room they hung out at. Hermione rolled her eyes from were she was sitting at.

"Don't you bring your nuts everyday?" Emmet asked.

"What?" Jacob asked.

"Ewww." Renesmee said.

"Soon when Renesmee is all grown up she'll want Jacob's nuts." Esme said from across Emmet. Renesmee turned to glare at her.

"Ew, Jacob! Why are you eating your nuts, I didn't know you were like that!" Emmet laughed.'

"Shut up, these are some good nuts." Jacob said, cramming nuts into his mouth.

"Hello? Police? My girlfriend is about to kill me!" Edward cried. Everyone turned to Edward who was pointing a gun at himself, while talking on the phone.

"Edward! Don't do this man!" Emmet jumped up and wrestled with him to take the gun. Edward's cell phone fizzled and fried.

"My cell phone! NO!" Edward threw the gun and Emmet caught it while Edward dove toward the phone.

"It's OK self, I forgive you, friends because I'm married. Don't look at me like that, I thought you knew. Yes I have a kid. Well I don't see how this is going to work out." He said to himself. Everyone exchanged looks of confusion.

"Did you like your nuts Jacob? I see you liking your fingers." Esme said.

"Shut it." Jacob snapped.

"Emmet, give me the gun." Carlisle stood up slowly.

"Why?" Emmet whipped around, he accidentally pulled the trigger and it shot a student walking by.

"AH! OW!" They screamed.

"Oh, opps." Emmet said and threw the gun at Carlisle. It bounced off of his head and landed on the ground. "Carlisle did it." He pointed. People shuffled and scurried around to help the kid and take him to the nurse.

"Uh, Emmet, just making sure, I need my two dollars by Friday, which is tomorrow, you do have it, right?" Renesmee asked.

"What? Oh yeah, sure." Emmet waved her off.

"OK. Remember, Friday." She said and walked away.

"Let's get him to the hospital wing stat." Carlisle , the window crashed open and Jasper on a dragon raced and crashed in.