A crush on Kyle fucking Brofloski.
And he fucking knew he shouldn't, but Kyle wasn't exactly easy to get over.
Every little thing he did or said, Stan fell for. It was simply an act of idiocy or cowardice that explained how none of the girls at school were lined up at his door.
And Stan was a total professional at hiding this crush, none of his friends at school knew.
Well, Wendy knew, she was the one who helped him come to his senses and realise it.
And Kenny kind of knew? He was hinting at it with little jokes all year, but Stan knew how he felt about Butters, so he had some sort of leverage.
And also Tolkien knew, since he had caught him staring at Kyle and put two and two together.
And Clyde probably knew, since him and Tolkien are like, inseparable.
And maybe Ike knew? He always gave them a 'knowingly' smirk every time he came over.
But that doesn't matter, since Stan was good friends with the goths ever since he became one for like, a week. And he's always been on his phone texting Firkle for like 6 months, now?
And Shelly knows, but that's it. Nobody else could know. And nobody else does know, since everyone else is probably too dense to know.
But, this whole "Art of Stan and Kyle being all lovey-dovey" thing, may not be that bad.
If you were to really think about it.
Tweek and Craig pretended to date for a while, while it was happening to them and then actually dated after it finished,
so who's to stop Stan and Kyle from coming up with a similar pretend-dating plan? It is the most logical way out of this.
And who knows? Maybe it'll last.
But Stan is only thinking of this plan because it is the easiest and most logical solution.
There is no other reason for Stan to be thinking about this plan.