It's been one and half a years.
Since, Mafumafu passed away.
He died because of an accident. A driver seems drunk and didn't seems stop when there's Mafumafu in the way.
He didn't make it.
While the driver still alive.
Isn't it unfair? Why does It's just him that alive. Why must he died? He didn't do anything wrong. He just living a happy life. He just making song and sing for everyone. He just enjoying his life. Why must him? Why good people always die first? Why God's must be unfair?
He just on his way to go back home. To our home.
He was so excited to celebrate his anniversary with me. I was waiting for him to come.
Then, he didn't.
I can't forgive the man. Even if his family beg for forgiveness, I can't forgive him. How possibly I could? He took my precious person, my reason to live away.
I was depressed for days, and then it became weeks, and ended with months. Everyone was encouraged me and comfort me, it successfully make me out of the depression.
I became happy again, I even think to live at my fullest even if you're not here by my side again, I did my best.
But still,
"...The world is so dull without you, Mafu."
I gazing at the night sky that fulls of stars. I'm currently on the rooftop of my... our apartment. I reminiscing our memories when you were alive. How you always make me happy, how you always make me smile.
You were like a light in my life for me. You're always shining brightly.
You were my reason why I continue to live.
I'm thinking because I depended on you too much, I should try to live without you on my side.
But, as I thought. It's impossible without you.
How can I live, when you the reason and my light gone?
The vibration from my phone continue to vibrate in my hand. I read the messages they send to me while I didn't answer them.
They were worried, of course they will. They know how much I became a suicidal person since Mafu gone.
I appreciate them always in my side, I love them, I'm happy they always be my friends till the end.
But,
"...I'm tired now."
I throw my phone from the rooftop and watch the phone hit the floor.
I sighed heavily and brought my palm to my face.
I laughed, hoping to ease the anxiety in my heart. It didn't work. I was gonna do the next step, until a shadow appeared in front of me. I startled and didn't look up for a moment.
"You want jump?"
A familiar voice. The high and soft voice I loves, the voice I longed to hear once again if possible. I looked up and widened my eyes.
A fluffy white hair that like a snow, the big red eyes that like a ruby, the barcode in his left cheek. He knows who is it that currently sitting on the fences.
Though his appearance were so different.
A halo in top of his head, the white shirt and pants, and, the white wings that were flapping in his back.
It was... beautiful.
"Mafumafu?"
He opened his mouth before smiled towards me. The sweet smile that always ease my worries away, the smile that I always miss.
"It's been a while Isn't, Soraru-san?"
"Wh-What?"
I didn't think about anything and just went to him, attempted to hug him just ended up went through. I surprised. It just went through like a air.
Mafu looking at me sadly. My tears welled up in my eyes.
"Soraru-san... I died. You know that."
"..."
I keep being quiet and just stare at the figure, fearing he would gone if I blink. I feel like the worries that weight around me lifted up in a moment when I see him.
He's really an angel aren't he?
"Mafu... I..."
"...You want jump, Soraru-san?"
I looked at him once again and smile weakly.
"If I die... I can be with you once again aren't I, Mafu?"
He gritted his teeth and looked down. He made a face that I can't imagine. I just want see you, I just want be with you, I want be in your side. I didn't want you to go that early.
"You don't have to die now Soraru-san."
I confused at his words. Why I can't?
"You can find happiness once again. Without... me. You're capable to do that. I know it."
"...Then, I will jump either way."
"Why?!"
"Because my happiness is you. Mafu."
He became silent and look at me with tears in his face. He looked so sad, I didn't want him to make that face. I wish I can touch him and weeps that tears away. Even more so when I know the reason is me.
"...You overstimating me, Mafu. I'm not someone you're thinking of. I'm weak. I'm a coward without you in my side. How I can find my happiness when you're my happiness? I can't Mafu. I just want you. So please... let me?"
______________
Mafu are in a dilemma now.
He want tell the raven don't jump, and kill himself. But, a part of him he want him to come. He don't want him to kill himself, he don't want to.
But, after seeing the happy and relieved face of the raven, he can't bring himself to say that. If he said him don't want this, would that happy face will gone?
He don't want to.
He said that he's his happiness only. As Soraru explain further about his reason, the more he can't bring himself to say that words.
If he said he don't want this, would it means he would take Soraru's happiness away?
He don't want that.
He's crying in frustration. He's crying at the fact he still have the filthy human feelings called desires. He's crying when he realize he's powerless.
Why would he still have feelings even though he's already dead? It disgust him. Because of this, there's a chance he will make a worst decision. There's a chance he will ended up... bring Soraru here.
It's disgusting. How deep down there's a happiness and relief when knows Soraru's gonna be with him. It disgust him. He's angry at himself.
Wasn't his purpose to come back here for a moment is because he wants to safe Soraru? So why would he hesitate? Why he have to doubt for a moment? Soraru's more important than anything for him. He wants him to live. That feeling is stronger than anyone else.
Then why....
Why....
Why he wants Soraru to jump with him?
"...Soraru-san... Please... I can't, I can't let you come here.... At least, for now..." Mafumafu muttered while looking at the raven with a teary eyes. He can't control his emotions. Funny how he still have emotions.
"...Mafu. Do you think I will go with you? Or will I go to hell?" A sudden question surprised him.
They said, suicide is a big sin. Once you did it, you will immediately go to hell. Unfair isn't it?
Mafu believe it. That's why he doesn't want Soraru to jump. He doesn't want his beloved raven to go to hell. He doesn't want it.
"Mafu."
The albino look at the raven slowly as he widened his eyes. Because he seeing Soraru's smile after a long time. It was a bright smile, the warm smile that always showed towards him.
Just him.
And he exactly knows what it meant. Mafumafu start to cry knowing he can't change the raven's mind. All the frustration, the anger, the sadness, start to flow down by the tears he shed.
"You know what Mafu? As expected, I love you so much. You're the only one. The reason why I'm still here, in this cruel world. Your smile brought warm. Your voice brought me so much happiness inside. All of a sudden I can't hear that? It was hell." Soraru start explain how it's so hard after Mafumafu gone. Anyone can't understand how empty he is, how he can't see the light again after his light's gone.
It just like, the world's died at the moment he heard the news.
His beloved died. His only light's gone. His reason to live is gone. So why would he still here? Living in this world? He's tired. Anyone can't understand how's the feelings after losing your important things.
It's hurts.
It's so hurts.
"Soraru-san.... Do you... really want do this?"
Soraru nodded. His eyes filled with determination. Filled with hope. Filled with warm. It's ironic how he's starting to have hope even though the next thing he will do isn't really like a hope.
Mafumafu wipe his tears as he fly closer to him. Slowly, he put his hand to his cheek. Just for a second, he feel his hand touched Soraru's cheek. It doesn't go through. To confirm, he did that again. And he touched him. He could touch him.
It's honestly so unbelievable.
Soraru that knows he can touch the albino now, quickly he hug Mafumafu tightly. As tough he don't want to separate any moment, any second from him. The sensation they havent been feel. It's honestly heals them both.
Knowing it's time. They start to prepare for their heart.
"Soraru-san... Let me share your burden okay?"
"...Stupid. Even though you don't need to."
"I want to! It's unfair if it's only me that doesn't do anything!"
"Haa... Alright alright. I allow that. But promise me..."
"Don't leave by my side ever again."
Hearing those words. Mafumafu show Soraru his best smile. The warm smile he always greeted at in the morning. The warm smile that always heal him.
He doesn't feels scared at this moment strangely.
Is it because Mafumafu is in his side?
They start to face the fence and climbed up the fence. Looking down, it have quite a distance. It's so... high.
The wind swaying all over them, it's a little cold night than usual. But even so, it doesn't bother them. All of it doesn't mean anything right now.
Soraru slowly let his hand intertwined with Mafumafu's hand. Funny how he can still feel the albino's warmth. It's maybe his imagination, but even so, he wants to believe it is his warmth he's feeling right now.
"Soraru-san, let's be together even if we reincarnated okay?"
"That's goes without saying."
Then they made up their resolve and exhaled a breath.
"...Ready?"
"...Ready."
It's strange.
Even though Soraru thought's the world become so dull, become monochrome. There's no light showing.
Strangely, today he can see how's the world is right now.
The night's beautiful than he remember. The stars that shining brightly, a milkyway that's so beautiful, the moon that shining in the sky, the lights of the city.
It was like... they're in a concert full of the pen-lights that always waving to them.
It's funny because.
This situation started, After The Rain.
Surrounded by many beautiful sights, beautiful things, beautiful memories of them in here.
They jumped.
Together, like a drop's of a water from the after the rain.
Just like that, their story ended.
Is it really like that?
____________________________
おまけ/Omake.
"...Kashitarou-san, he's really an idiot isn't he?"
"You're right Amatsuki-kun. He's... really are an idiot."
A gloomy atmosphere. Two people, which is Amatsuki and Kashitarou holding a bouquets of flowers.
Even though it such a beautiful bouquet of flowers, they have such a grim expression on their face. Slowly, they put down the flowers in front of them.
A tombstone of someone.
"It's been a while Soraru-san. It's been one month since you... gone too from this world." Amatsuki start talking to Soraru.
"Really, you're really an idiot to do that. Now who would sing and tell the story of someone who once called the king of the Utaite, the angel, Mafu-kun's great story to everyone...?" Amatsuki said bitterly. It's hurts. How he lost his admiration and his best friends at the same time.
"Soraru-san, it seems our voice didn't reach you. And I feels very bad to know that we didn't helped very much.
......
I guess... the only things that will reach you is just Mafumafu-san..." Kashitarou muttered. It's really sad. It's really hurts to lose your close friend. Especially when you can't do anything.
"Urashimasakatasen currently doing live in Tokyo Dome! Me and Kashitarou-san is doing a tour live together right now! The others been passionate on doing concert. They're doing so well!" Amatsuki reporting how their friends are. While smiling, he continue to talk about their days lately.
"...Hey you two, is it going to make you both mad if we said we did it to fill up the gap you two made? It was so tiring to fill up you know! Knowing you guys was the top of the Utaite!" Amatsuki said slightly with anger.
"...Not was right, Amatsuki-kun? They still are the top right?" Kashitarou said with a smile as Amatsuki smiled in response and hug him.
"You're right... Those place can't be replaced by anyone."
Amatsuki and Kashitarou look at the tombstone before smiling and look at the time.
"We should get going. We're gonna come back every one month for now." Kashitarou said as he walk ahead before look at the tombstone for the last time.
Amatsuki was gonna follow him before he heard a voice, a familiar voice.
"Ama-chan!! Thank you!! I really glad to be your best friend!"
"I leave it to you guys to continue make Utaite's community fired up."
Amatsuki immediately turned back and saw nothing. But, the voices he heard was real. The familiar voice he missed so much.
He teared up for a little bit before wipe his tears and smile towards the sky, making a fist-bump to the sky.
"Leave it to me! So... please rest and be happy in there you two." Amatsuki mumbled with a sad smile before exhale and follow Kashitarou from behind.
Little did he knows, a two angels is watching over them since they visiting here.
One with a beautiful white hair, one with a beautiful raven hair.
Both looking at the two that leaving.
While holding each other hands with a bright smile.
It was once again, After The Rain.
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Hellow~ It's been a while. I was bored so I decide to update this book lol
I quite proud of this one, hope you guys like it! Then I will go hiatus once again!
Thanks for reading it! Hope Utaite fans in here still exist and active www
See you next time!