❀ Lilac POV ❀
Underneath the water, everything was peaceful. There was no noise, no people, no thoughts.
I just moved in the water, the waves taking my body with it.
But when my head reaches the surface again, that's when everything is no longer peaceful.
I gasp for air, my lungs burning. Through coughs, I take in as much air as I can, while shivering from the air hitting my wet skin.
Then another wave goes over me, pulling me underwater. I hold my breath, moving in the aggressive water.
I fight to get to the surface. My muscles burn, the currents so strong. When I reach the surface this time, an explosion pierces my ears. The boat erupts into flames, my eyes wincing from the bright orange color.
Another wave. This one was stronger, pulling me further away and deeper. No matter how hard I try, I can't meet the surface.
My lungs burn. My muscles burn. I start to panic.
It felt like death was on the tip of my tongue. I couldn't see anything under the cold water, it was completely black. I couldn't tell how far down I was.
While continuing to try and reach the surface, I began to think about my life. If I was satisfied with it. What I had wished I'd done, what I regretted, my favorite memories.
Some flash in my head.
Speeding down the highway with Ezra the first night I met him.
The field of lilacs.
Seeing the beautiful nature in Bulgaria.
I reach the surface again. My wet hair sticks to my face. And before I can even take in a breath, I'm back underwater.
Regrets. That's what I thought about most.
I didn't regret the murders I had done. I didn't care that I had blood-stained hands and had now killed two people.
There was only one thing that I regretted. And that was being too stubborn to admit to Ezra how I feel.
Not being able to hold my breath anymore, my body starts to turn still. I take in a breath, inhaling the cold water, making my lungs burn.
I regretted not telling him that I'm falling in love with him.
My vision starts to fade as my chest burns. I feel myself starting to sink.
I let my eyes shut.
I let myself accept death.
Something strong grabs hold of my wrist. I get pulled upward, and the second my head breaks the surface of the water, I gasp for air while coughing. My vision comes back as my lungs are able to fill with air again.
"Lilac," Ezra says in relief, but worry covers his face. He holds me, able to tell that I'm too weak to keep swimming.
I take heavy breaths as I stare at him in shock. I whisper, "Ezra?"
Some of his black hair sticks to his forehead.
Here he was. The devil to the rest of the world. Saving me, once again. Risking his own life to do so. He holds me in the strong waves, even though it makes him have to swim two times as hard. To me, he wasn't evil. He was my guardian angel.
"You're gonna be okay," he says over the sound of the roaring waves.
I cough again, my lungs still on fire.
Bright lights shining down on us nearly blind me. I hear the sound of propellors, and the wind it caused made me shiver even more.
"Here, baby, climb the rope," Ezra grabbed my hand and placed it on the rope.
I use all my strength to pull myself up. I start climbing, shivering uncontrollably as I did so. My teeth chatter and my hands feel numb.
As I reach the top, two pairs of hands pull me into the helicopter. I sit there for a moment, still trying to steady my breathing.
Ezra climbs in, and shuts the door behind him. Eliza pulls her sweater off and wraps it around me as Asher starts to fly the helicopter higher in the air.
"Hey, Lilac, look at me," Ezra crouches in front of me. His hands go to my cheeks and tilt my head to look at him. "Are you hurt anywhere?"
I shake my head no, but he looks me over anyway. He pulls me into him, and even though he was as cold as me, I instantly felt warmer.
"Is he dead?" Eliza questions Ezra. He nods against my neck.
I let myself lean into him completely. I trust him more than anybody else in the world.
"You shouldn't have risked your life like that, Lilac. You should've gotten on the damn helicopter," Ezra speaks into my ear. He sounds angry, but I can tell it's because of his worry for me, and not because he's genuinely mad at me.
"And you shouldn't have risked yours, either," I said the same thing back to him.
He doesn't respond, he just continues to hold me close to him.
"Are you guys good?" Asher asked while taking a glance back at us.
Ezra nodded at him, "Yes. Just take us home."
------
Ezra asked for them not to come in with us.
He keeps his hand on my back as I walk up the stairs, as if he's scared I'm gonna fall.
"I'll give you your space, but do you need anything first?" he asks me in the doorway to my bedroom.
I just stared at him for a moment. My lips were parted slightly as if I were scared to say the words.
"Can I sleep with you tonight?" I asked.
His face changed. At first, he looked surprised. But then, his mouth turned up in a smile, "Of course."
I followed him into his room. And the second I entered, I gave him an unimpressed look, "Ezra."
"I'll get a new desk."
It's basically split in half.
I walk past him toward his connecting bathroom, my cold skin craving a hot shower. As I turn the shower on, I say, "You shouldn't have broken it."
My heart stops beating and I nearly jump out of my skin when I turn around and see him standing there. He lowers his eyebrows at me, "I was fucking worried about you. You're lucky all I did was break a desk."
"What a temper."
"Don't act like you don't like it."
Speechless. I didn't respond, the sound of the water hitting the shower tiles filling the silence.
My back presses against the bathroom wall as he steps toward me. He puts his hand on the side of my face, and I lean into it. He whispers through a hurt expression, "I thought I lost you."
His thumb swipes my bottom lip gently, tugging on it after.
"The pain was unbearable," he presses his forehead against mine.
He repeated what he said earlier, "You shouldn't have stayed, you should've gone where it was safe."
"You could've been walking into a death trap," I spoke seriously. "And I wasn't about to let you do that alone."
Water hit the shower floor and steam from it filled the room as he continued staring at me.
"You care," he said out loud, as if he were thinking to himself.
I swallowed my pride, "Yes, I do."
I watched his brown eyes as he processed my words.
"Tell me why," his words took me by surprise.
"Why what?"
"Why you care."
He stared at me with a took that made me feel breathless. It was written on his face that he knew why. But that wasn't good enough for him. As his eyes darted around my face, he waited for me to say it with my words.
"I have to shower," I pushed myself off of the wall and turned left toward the shower.
I could feel him shaking his head behind me. He spoke sternly, "Don't run away from this."
"I'm not running, I'm showering."
"Then I'm getting in with you."
A scoff escaped my lips. With my back turned to him, I dropped my wet clothes onto the floor. I knew he had a perfect view of my ass, until I stepped into the shower. While shutting my eyes and letting the water hit my face, I said, "You don't have the balls."
"No?" his voice directly behind me made me turn around.
He stood there in the shower with me. Naked.
"Tell me why you care," he repeated as the hot water hit my back.
Even though I was fully naked, his eyes didn't lower to my body. He kept them locked on mine the entire time.
It's far easier to think something than to actually do it.
I could feel the words in my mouth. I could taste them.
"Because I'm falling in love with you," I finally said.
My heart pounded in my chest. It wasn't because I was nervous about what he would say. It was because I was nervous about finally admitting it. I was now giving him the possibility to hurt me, to cause me emotional pain.
Love circled in his eyes.
And then, he pressed his lips against mine. His hands held my bare hips, the front of my body pressing against his. The way he kissed me made me feel protected by the same man others feared.
He pulled away from the kiss, pulling my bottom lip with his teeth.
"I promise I'll find out who's behind this," he spoke softly, holding my face in his hands.
I let my eyes shut for a moment, letting my mind go blank, "I don't want to think about it right now."
"Okay, so we won't."
He stayed in the shower with me. He washed my hair, and I nearly fell asleep during it. His fingertips massaged my scalp after he lathered it in shampoo. His hands washed my body, as he held me close to him.
This wasn't a casual love, like when you have a boyfriend in high school. I wasn't falling in love with him in a way where if he left tomorrow, I'd bounce back quickly. I was falling in love with my complete heart and mind.
I was falling so deeply in love with him, to the point where there was no return.
After our shower, he gave me one of his large t-shirts to sleep in. We lay in his bed and I complain out loud, "My hair oil and brush are in the bathroom in my room."
He shuts his closet after putting a pair of briefs on. He leaves the room for no longer than 2 minutes before returning with both of them.
I go to sit up, but he orders, "Keep laying."
So, I do.
I feel the bed sink behind me, telling me he's sitting on the edge. His fingertips that smell like my hair oil rake through my hair, nearly sending a chill down my spine. He massages my scalp for a moment before starting to gently take the brush through my hair.
I almost drift off to sleep from it. By the time I snap back to reality, he's laying in bed beside me, and all the lights are off.
I stare at him, and he stares at me. His fingertip gently moves around on my cheek, while he observes me.
"Ezra?"
"Yes, my love?"
"Who do you think wants me dead?"
My question makes him pause for a second before continuing to move his knuckl around my cheek again. He lets out a sigh before replying, "I have no idea, but I'll find out. I promise."
I think for a moment while biting on my lower lip. I asked with a bit of hesitation in my voice, "You don't think maybe it's my mom, do you?"
His dark eyes move around my face.
"Honestly, Lilac, I have no idea. I'm cautious of everybody..." he trails off for a moment.
"I don't trust anybody right now," he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Only you."
A wave of silence crashed over us. It was a peaceful one, a comforting one, one that I let myself feel safe in.
My tired eyes shut, as Ezra runs his hand through my hair over and over again. He whispered, "Sleep, baby. I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you."
My body starts to fall into a state of sleep. I let Ezra keep running his hands through my hair, as my heart felt like it warmed in my chest.
I could hear my brain screaming at me he loves you, he'd do anything for you, not all love and people need to fit the societal standard of good.
I let myself start to fall in love with him. To fall into his darkness. I let it take over me, I fucking basked in it.
And I was right. There was no returning now.
-------
I blow a raspberry while scrolling on the laptop in front of me. The ice in my iced coffee was starting to melt, but I was too busy stressing to even notice.
I see Ezra enter the kitchen out of my peripheral vision. As he slides his belt through the belt loops, he asks me, "What are you looking at so intensely?"
I sigh and let my eyes look away from the screen for a moment. After taking a sip of my iced coffee, I told him, "Colleges. Career paths. I need to start getting an idea of what I want to do with my life."
I watch his brows tug together as he finishes putting his belt on his black jeans. I set my glass down as he walks over to the chair I was sitting at. Placing his hand on the table, he bends down to be eye-level with me, and his cologne reaches my nose.
"Lilac. I will spend my entire life working and providing for you. You don't need to work," his voice was gentle, yet stern.
I don't know if it's because I'm stupid, but that had never occurred to me before. I never thought that I wouldn't have to work.
"But then....what will I do?" I ask him.
"Whatever you want. You want to go shopping one day? Go for it. You want to travel? I'll take you anywhere you want. You don't have to worry about working, or finances, darling," he told me before leaning forward to kiss my forehead. "I just want you to focus on living your best life possible."
I took in his words as he turned around.
"Are you going somewhere?" I asked since he was fully changed and I was still in his t-shirt.
His face slowly changed expressions before taking a sip of the coffee on the counter. My head tilted and I stood up because of the weird look on his face.
"Yea, I am," he didn't meet my eyes for a moment.
I rounded the table to stand in front of him, and now, he met my eyes. I gave him a 'tell me' look.
"I'm going to see my mom," he told me, and I couldn't keep the shock off of my face.
My mouth hung open for a moment before I finally spoke, "You're....what?"
"I had Asher find her location for me. She's only one state down in California. I need to go and see if she's behind all this shit," he spoke, and although he tried to keep his voice even, I could sense some nerves in his throat.
He quickly cleared his throat, "I'll be back tonight, I-"
"I'm going with you," I cut him off.
He stared at me with a surprised expression, but then it quickly changed. He shook his head, "You don't have to do that. You should rest, you don't need that stress."
"Listen Ezra, if your mom is the one that's been trying to have me killed for months, I want to be there to ask why," I crossed my arms to make myself seem more confident.
He rubbed his jawline while thinking for a moment.
Finally, he nodded, "Okay. It will just be a day trip."
"And does she know you're coming?" I ask.
"No. If my dear mother heard I was coming, she'd burn the house down and leave before we even crossed the state line," he forced a smile while talking.
Asher enters the kitchen, and unlike usual, I don't roll my eyes at the sight of him.
"Thank you for yesterday," I say sincerely.
He makes an expression I couldn't quite pinpoint, but he nods at me.
"Address is on a piece of paper in the car," Asher tells Ezra. "You really think it's her?"
"Maybe. Who fucking knows," Ezra pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment. "Only one way to find out."
Needing to change before leaving, I head upstairs and change into a clean dress. While staring into the mirror and brushing my hair, I see myself differently. I still have the same blonde hair and blue eyes, but the difference is in my demeanor. I'm more confident now, I'm stronger.
And I like the new me way more.
"Lilac? Are you ready?" Ezra asks me.
Spraying myself with perfume, I'm ready to go. I ask him, "How long is the drive?"
"6 hours," he says while picking up a black duffle bag off of the ground. "Are you sure you want to come?"
I nod, "Yes. But, can I drive?"
"I don't know about that-"
I hunch over and grab my stomach, making noises of pain. While holding my hands over my stomach, Ezra rushes to my side. He drops his bag and leans over to be my height, looking at me for anything physical he can see. He moves my hair out of my face, "What is it? What hurts?"
I use this distraction to snatch the keys out of his hand. I smile widely while running away with the keys, my plan going exactly how I imagined.
I hear him swear under his breath, making me laugh.
"Should've said yes!" I smiled at him over my shoulder.
And very quietly, while I run down the hallway and he takes his sweet time walking, I hear him whisper under his breath, "I'd fucking let you do anything, princess."
Word count: 2965
if anyone was curious, this book is going to have 30 chapters <3