Sunghoon didn’t know how long he had been in his room alone, crying. He didn’t know what he had done, but he knew it was his fault, he wasn’t enough. His thoughts rapidly spiralled down from there, after Heeseung left the room.
He’d been a fool to think Heeseung would ever want him outside of his rut, the other had ran away as soon as he realized what he had done. And Sunghoon wasn’t even a good enough omega to calm him down. He was a failure, he was hopeless, he had no use. Even if he didn’t want to cry anymore, it hurt, and everything smelt of Heeseung and him and it was not helping. Because Heeseung had been there but he wasn’t there anymore.
Because Sunghoon wasn’t worth it.
And then the door had opened, he didn’t need to look to know who it was, and he kept crying. When Heeseung came closer to him and called his name all tenderly, he had to stop himself from turning and just pulling Heeseung close to him.
“I-I’m not g-good for alpha…” he had said, “I’m u-useless…” He needed him so much, but Heeseung didn’t need him.
He lost the battle when Heeseung got in the nest with him and hugged him close, he couldn’t keep resisting. Not really listening to what Heeseung was saying to him, he turned around and nuzzled and cried and savoured the little gentle touches Heeseung gave him. It took a little for the tears to stop falling and his body to stop shaking, but once that stopped he immediately started purring.
Sunghoon hated himself for not being able to stop it, even though Heeseung obviously didn’t want him and was just trying to calm him down. He hated that he couldn’t stop the feeling of love and pleasure that took over his body just because Heeseung was beside him. He was conflicted, but he’d let the feelings wash over him until his mind became his own again.
Finally, he inhaled Heeseung’s scent, now partially mixed with his own. He smiled softly with his eyes closed, but also a little sadly.
“Heeseung-hyung?” He whispered, sounding even a little scared. Heeseung hummed and he sounded so satisfied and peaceful that Sunghoon didn’t want to part from him, didn’t want to talk about what happened.
But they had to.
“How are you feeling?” and Heeseung sounded like he cared, like he cared for Sunghoon as more than just his friend and groupmate. It almost made him cry again, if Sunghoon hadn’t let his hopes up, he wouldn’t have suffered as much.
“I’m… not okay,” he didn’t want to lie, they had to have an honest conversation, preferably, before either his heat or Heeseung’s rut made them sex crazed again.
“Sorry,” Heeseung started and Sunghoon chuckled, exhausted and resigned, “I’m really sorry.”
“It’s not your fault…” He was playing with his fingers against Heeseung’s chest. He thought they should take a shower soon, they were disgusting.
“But it is, I… I knew this would happen,” Heeseung said, “I shouldn’t have agreed, but I… I couldn’t say no… and I- I didn’t mean to- ugh,” Heeseung dropped his head against the mattress. “I did something terrible.”
Sunghoon’s chest constricted in pain, “please, please don’t say that,” his voice wobbled a little as he held in the tears. “You did nothing wrong…”
“Don’t defend me… I- I claimed you, without asking, without warning I just- I took that from you,” Heeseung hugged him closer, it was tearing Sunghoon apart. “I knew that could, that would happen, and I did my best to not… to resist biting you…” Heeseung sounded like he was falling apart with every word, “but I’m… weak, I did it anyway and… you must hate me…”
“Hyung, I don’t hate you…” As much as he didn’t want to, Sunghoon had to separate from Heeseung to be able to look him in the eye. “You couldn’t have known you’d… that I’d beg for your bite.”
Heeseung grunted in frustration, “it has nothing to do with you asking for it, while you were pretty much unable to think.” Sunghoon was confused.
“You wouldn’t have bitten me if I hadn’t been so… like that,” he blushed remembering, even if a bit fuzzily, how he had acted. Heeseung shook his head.
“Pretty sure I would have done it anyway…” Heeseung brought Sunghoon closer again, “I always try getting to you…” Heeseung admitted.
“What do you mean? You… never do anything,” Sunghoon was speaking directly into Heeseung’s neck from how Heeseung was holding him.
“During my ruts, I always try to break down the door,” Sunghoon couldn’t see Heeseung’s face, but he could tell he was nervous, “trying to get to you.”
“To an omega.” Sunghoon corrects him, but Heeseung shook his head.
“To you.” He insisted, “I want you so much I- can’t control it, can’t control myself.” Sunghoon’s heart starts beating fast at Heeseung’s words, “I knew I wouldn’t be able to… to stop myself from claiming you if you were with me, but then you offered to… and I’m so weak I couldn’t say no.”
Sunghoon’s brain stopped. His mind became completely blank; he couldn’t believe what Heeseung was admitting to. Still, he didn’t know if Heeseung wanted him outside of his rut, he needed to know before he fully let himself believe, let himself hope. A little part of him, however, betrayed him and was ready to fall completely into Heeseung. Sunghoon had to remain calm, as calm as he could manage, they had to talk about everything and leave no room for misunderstandings.
“Then why did you run?” Sunghoon asked, and he felt more fragile than he had expected, “if you wanted me so much, why didn’t you stay here?”
Sunghoon heard Heeseung’s heart beat louder, “I couldn’t face you, I couldn’t,” he choked on his words. “Sunghoon, I claimed you without your consent, I-”
“I begged, literally begged, for it.” Sunghoon tried to calm Heeseung down, but it didn’t work. Heeseung pushed him away from him enough to be able to argue back.
“But you couldn’t consent, not-” Sunghoon sat up in the nest, interrupting Heeseung.
“Heeseung, I wanted you to claim me-” Heeseung sat as well, if only to keep arguing, Heeseung needed Sunghoon to understand that he wasn’t in the wrong, the only one that had any blame was Heeseung himself.
“During your heat! It doesn’t count-!” Sunghoon finally snapped as Heeseung started raising his voice.
“I always wanted you to claim me!” He almost shouted, voice loud enough to be heard above Heeseung’s who went mute as he heard that. “I always wanted it, I’ve thought about it so much… but you didn’t seem interested.” He explained, “so when Sunoo and Jungwon suggested I offered…” he became quieter the more he said. “I thought it was a good chance? Not for, maybe not for it to happen during the first rut or heat we spent together, I wasn’t expecting that, but eventually?” He was looking at his hands, fidgeting with his fingers. “And you seemed so into it, so into me the days before your rut I thought… I thought of confessing after your rut was over.”
Heeseung stayed quiet, and Sunghoon was too terrified to look up at his reaction. He’d said more than he should have, more than he had planned to, but there was no going back. Nervous and anxious as he was, a thousand thoughts went through his head. He tried shutting them up, but it was hard and Heeseung’s silence wasn’t helping at all.
He wanted to believe they would be okay, that even if Heeseung didn’t feel the same, they could still be friends. Being claimed did complicate things a little, but he was sure they could work around it. And even if it pained him, he knew there were treatments and therapy for claimed omega’s who either were claimed by force or their alpha had left them. To help them get over it.
Not being able to take the silence any more, Sunghoon looked up cautiously. Heeseung was… he seemed stunned, Sunghoon couldn’t tell if he was breathing at all. Panic raised in him, had he messed up that badly? Should he have kept quiet? Maybe Heeseung thought he said all that because he was still in heat, even if it was pretty much the end of it and he wasn’t feeling any needs at the moment. Maybe Heeseung didn’t want to believe him because dealing with an omega who didn’t want to be claimed was easier than dealing with an omega who was, almost completely, in love with him.
“You want me?” Heeseung’s voice was strained, but he was looking at Sunghoon with big hopeful eyes and Sunghoon could only nod, “even… even when you aren’t in heat?” Sunghoon nodded again.
For good measure, he added, “I love you.”
“Oh.” Sunghoon’s heart stopped, maybe that had been too much, “but I claimed you.”
“Heeseung, I loved you before all this,” he was in this deep already, may as well go all the way. “You claiming me when I was begging for it, when it made me feel better than I had ever felt in my life, when I wanted it so much in heat or not, isn’t going to make me suddenly stop loving you.”
Heeseung reached with his hand to cup Sunghoon’s face, “I’m sorry.” Sunghoon held in his breath, this was it. “I’m sorry I ran away, I’m sorry I didn’t notice, I’m sorry I left you when you were crying and needed me, I’m sorry I didn’t do this the right way.” Sunghoon swallowed to keep himself from crying again, Heeseung softly caressed his cheek with his thumb, “you deserve better, so much better than this, than what I am…”
“But I want you…” he said almost inaudibly.
“And you have me, and I’ll try to be what you deserve,” Heeseung said bringing his free hand to the other side of Sunghoon’s face, placing his forehead against Sunghoon. “I… I love you so much, I’ll work hard to be everything you need.”
“You are everything I want,” Sunghoon insisted and tentatively moved to join their lips in a soft kiss.
They smiled into the kiss like fools, most of the tension, confusion and sadness had dissipated. Sunghoon felt loved and appreciated as Heeseung continued to kiss him. He’d already felt that before, every time they had kissed, but he hadn’t allowed himself to believe at the time. However, Sunghoon didn’t let them go too far, he still thought they needed to, at least, shower before either of them got too horny to care about all the dried come and sweat.
Showering together, they took longer than they should have and it had turned into a less than innocent moment. Mostly just touching, kissing and grinding against each other, had they taken ten more minutes, they would have had sex in the shower. Sunghoon wasn’t really against the idea, but his heat was approaching the last wave and he wanted to be in his nest as soon as possible.
He also wanted Heeseung to bite him again. So, as Heeseung kissed him, holding his knees up against his chest while he pounded into him with all the passion and strength of his rut, Sunghoon voiced his desired. He did struggle a bit to get the words right, especially because he didn’t want to stop kissing Heeseung and his thoughts were all mixed up by Heeseung’s dick.
“A-alpha… bite- bite me again,” he pleaded as he moaned.
“I am biting you,” Heeseung teased, breathless, and as if to prove his point, he bit Sunghoon’s lip.
“No… ah!” Heeseung moved lower and bit over his throat. “I… I want…” not being able to speak as Heeseung continued to thrust into him making even breathing hard, he tilted his head to the side and pointed at his gland with a slightly erratic hand.
“Baby…” Heeseung moaned, “it’s- it’s not going to do anything more, I bit you there already…” he kept moaning and grunting every other word.
“But… I want… please!” Sunghoon pleaded, Heeseung couldn’t really say no, so he leaned and bit, not as hard as he had the previous time, but enough to leave another mark, one that would fade eventually.
Sunghoon, deep down in a part of him that was still rational, knew it wouldn’t feel as intense as the previous bite. But he still wanted it, and Heeseung seemed to like marking him everywhere possible. But he still felt like something was missing. Heeseung seemed to feel the same as he licked, kissed and nibbled around the area some more.
“And if…” Heeseung started but hesitated, “if you bite me?” Heeseung stopped moving for a moment to let Sunghoon think.
What he was suggesting was serious, they were already bonded, but it could be reversed to some extent. It would take time and a lot of effort and it would definitely never be the same for either of them, but it could be done. If he were to bite Heeseung as well, it would be pretty damn impossible for them to ever reverse it. It was also so unusual for an alpha to let an omega claim them, people would definitely comment on it. Sunghoon forced himself to focus on Heeseung’s face, on his eyes, trying to see what he was thinking.
The only thing he saw was love. Heeseung was letting Sunghoon decide this for him, despite the both of them not being in the best moment to think over something so important.
“This is not…” he had to stop, his thoughts still a bit all over the place, “because you…” He hopped Heeseung understood, he needed to know it wasn’t because Heeseung felt guilty he had claimed Sunghoon so soon, so unexpectedly.
Heeseung let go of Sunghoon’s legs, which immediately went down without the support, to get closer to Sunghoon more comfortably. “No, I… want you to,” he said, “I really want you to, but I want… you to decide this time,” he was probably struggling as much as Sunghoon was to stay rational.
Sunghoon hooked his hands behind Heeseung’s neck and brought him down for a deep kiss. They probably shouldn’t do it, but at that point, Sunghoon didn’t care anymore. They’d have to live with this decision and he could only hope they wouldn’t regret it later. As they were, he also doubted he could stop himself now that the idea was in his mind. Resuming his pace, Heeseung didn’t even leave space in his brain to think of anything else. Sunghoon felt himself getting closer to his orgasm, and so he started sucking hickeys down Heeseung’s neck, stopping right on top of his scent gland.
“You sure?” he breathed out, just in case Heeseung changed his mind.
However, Heeseung just leaned closer to him and angled his head to expose his neck even more, though Sunghoon was pretty much buried in it already. Sunghoon bit softly over it and delighted at the sound that came out of Heeseung. He left a hickey there before sinking his teeth permanently marking Heeseung. Once again he felt electricity travel all over his body, he felt high as he came all over his and Heeseung’s stomachs and chests. He felt blissed out and as Heeseung’s knot tied them together, he came again instantly. It was intense enough to make his whole body spasm and Heeseung moaned as he probably felt the same.
Sunghoon almost started laughing as he realised he couldn’t feel his legs anymore and could only imagine how sore they would be once it was all over. He couldn’t say any of it, though, as Heeseung leaned in for a kiss he was not about to turn down. They kissed wetly and messily, not having full control of their bodies, but enjoying it just the same. They must have kissed for minutes as, by the time they separated, Heeseung’s knot had gone down and he position himself to lie next to Sunghoon. Cuddling him closer, but not wanting to move much as they kept regaining their strength.
Without realising it, they both fell asleep.