"It seems to us that love could be labeled as poison and we'd drink it anyways."
- Atticus
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IT'S BEEN FIVE DAYS THAT I LEFT THE HOSPITAL and only today have I managed to see the other person who I couldn't stop thinking about, who I abandoned during those dark times.
"Lili!" Sammy's voice fills the air as he runs to me and a big smile is already on my lips when I kneel on the floor to welcome him.
His body collapses against mine and I let out a loud laugh as I squeeze him never let go, happy tears marking my cheeks. I've missed him so much and I wish we could at least go to a park or something.
Ever since the explosion, everyone is on full alert and Kayla thought it would be best if Sammy and I stayed in the house, the only place they can make sure is safe now. It sucks but if I want to keep my little brother safe, it has to be this way.
"I missed you so much, gummy bear." I plant kisses all over his face and he rolls his eyes before pushing me away, a little smile on his lips.
"Missed you too, Lili."
As I look at him in my arms, I can't help but think how much of his childhood I'm losing. He's bigger now, just an inch taller and his chestnut curls have grown a little, some locks reaching his eyes but it's a lot of changes already. Samuel is growing up, wanting it or not.
"This house is so big! More big than last time." His eyes glisten with pure joy as he looks around and I don't contain the chuckle that leaves my lips as I hear his wrong English. It's the little things that you take for granted.
"Bigger, Sammy." Another roll of eyes but I leave it that way, "C'mon on, what do you want to do?"
Samuel runs inside the house with an enormous smile and I simply wave to my aunt that it's already out of the gates, an urge to leave that I will never understand before grabbing the backpack he left behind and following him.
This week without classes, something only the Stones manage to get is being good, especially after the crazy moments we all have been through this past month but it's only another excuse for Damien to get more involved with a revenge plan they are coming up with.
I told him I want nothing to do with it and perhaps that's the reason we are more distant than ever. I haven't seen him anymore, only some glimpses and there are always deep bags under his eyes.
I'm worried but I'm too proud to go after him to ask what happened because if he really needed me, he would come.
Fucking love.
"Coming, Lili?" Sammy's voice takes me back from my thoughts and I shove Damien's face to the back of my mind, focusing only on my brother now. It's the least I can do after being away all this time.
I open a big smile and chase after him, his screams of laughter echoing and we end up playing tag throughout the entire house. It's funny how this was supposed to be filled with guns and badass people but instead, it's just another house, if seen only on the surface.
I leave his stuff somewhere while running and I can't stop laughing when he surrenders, waving a bathroom towel as a sign of peace.
My little brother is something else.
"Alright, let's watch some movies and eat popcorn?" I say out of breath, leaning against the wall of the hallway, and the smile that Sammy opens gives me the response I thought I would hear.
"There is chocolate?" His eyes challenge me, big green eyes orbs staring right into my soul and when I nod, they light up. I always feel lighter with him around, the innocence of a child sometimes is all we need, "Me choose the movie!"
"It's I, not me, gummy bear." He chooses not to listen to me, shutting both of his ears with his fingers and I roll my eyes.
"Let's go." I run towards him one last time, taking him in my arms and his scream is loud, followed by a much louder laugh. I can't help but laugh as well, letting all the problems far away from my mind, even if it's for a short period of time.
We end up on the sofa, a huge bowl of popcorn in the middle that with luck I didn't burn in the microwave, and another bowl full of different chocolates that Kayla bought for him. Sammy already said he would kiss her on the cheek in return.
Toy Story 3, it's his choice and I watch it while running my hands through his hair, already suffering that he will need to leave later today.
I swallow back the tears and focus on the feeling of having him here, with me.
Someday it will be like this every day, it's what I hold on to.
"Hey, Lina." Someone whispers while rubbing my arm and I let out a groan. The nap was so good that I didn't want to wake up, not now, "Wake up, c'mon."
I curse as I open my eyes in the clarity and when I focus on the person that is ruining all the fun, I close them again and tuck myself even more into the blanket.
"Let me sleep, Kayla. Sammy is entertained watching movies here, Damien doesn't even want to talk to me, it's not like I have much to do."
She rips the blanket off me and I curse for a second time under my breath, fully awake now and pissed.
"Your brother already left, Lina." Her words ring in my head and when I look at where he was sitting next to me, all there's left it's an empty space and his favorite teddy bear. My heart starts thundering in my chest but Kayla realizes my scare and completes right after, "Your aunt came to take him, about thirty minutes ago. I was downstairs and took Samuel to her. He didn't want to wake you so he left his toy, to keep you company. He is adorable."
My eyes get watery at that exact moment and I grab the bear he left behind to give it a kiss, cursing myself again for not waking up to say goodbye.
In the middle of Cars 2, the third or fourth movie Sammy chose with a big smile on his face, I fell asleep but I promised it would be only five minutes. Fuck,
I used to be a big sister, now, I feel like an impostor.
"I will call him later, thanks, Kayla." She nods and rubs my arm again, this time being compassionate towards my situation. Sometimes, I forget she knows what it feels like to worry about a brother, older or younger.
"Alright, now, tell me why you woke me, huh?" I rub off the tears and look straight into her eyes, putting what happened in the back of my mind, as I often do, and already pissed that a headache grows on my temples.
I haven't been sleeping much these days, my nightmares getting a bit out of control and I need every sleep I can get, without interruptions.
She rolls her eyes.
"I thought you would want time to get ready for a party in a couple of hours."
Did I hear it right?
"Wait, what?"
Her smile is malefic.
"It's the end of football season, Lina, remember the big party that always happens in the house of the captain of the team?"
I'm caught off guard, completely lost in what time of the year we are but I know what she is talking about. All senior year is invited, mandatory and it's the one thing Bella couldn't shut up about during our freshmen year, how we would enjoy it like there's no tomorrow.
So innocent back then, back when Eric was with us.
Now I shove it to the back of my head, one more thought like this and I won't be leaving my bed.
It takes me some seconds but I get back to the conversation, nodding at her question.
Her eyes glisten and I can't help but feel a little excited for her. It's the first big event that she will be officially dating Chadwick, they will be finally free to show their affection towards each other.
"We are going!"
Now, I'm more than confused.
"But how? Damien and you, gosh," I need to take a breath not to curse her and him, "you two said I shouldn't leave the house, not until the revenge you would take on the Cobras was done, that's the only reason I stayed in with Sammy today."
She shrugs her shoulders and I swear I feel the urge to leave but I don't. Not when Kayla stood by my side through all that has happened.
"Apparently, they did something, I don't know. Damien told me we could all go since it's a huge party, with too many variables for an attack to be planned. We are going to be fine." She opens a smile and I roll my eyes, taking another deep breath before nodding.
I trust them, I need to, or else I will go crazy.
"We are going to meet Damien there?" I don't know if I want to hear the answer or not, but he's my fucking boyfriend. I should know these things, all the time.
"Of course not, we are all going together like always. Everything alright with you two?" I nod even quicker now, the last thing I want to talk about being the reason our relationship has stuck.
I get up and fake a smile, one I was sure I wouldn't need to use again before grabbing her hand to head straight to our bedrooms.
"Let's get even hotter," I say with a high-pitched voice.
You truly never forget how to put up an act.
"Damn, girls." I let out a loud laugh when I see a drooling Chadwick waiting for both Kayla and me at the bottom of the stairs. As we walk to where he is, Kayla keeps on a wide smile, my heart getting warm for them and as he should, he has eyes only for her.
She is wearing a sleeveless dark blue dress, paired with a leather jacket and combat boots adorned with little crystals that match perfectly with the shiny silver earrings she chose. Simply gorgeous.
They give each other a peck on the lips when Kayla finally reaches him, the couple clearly wanting to do more and I miss Damien instantly.
We were supposed to meet them here but I keep my doubts to myself, not bothering to ruin the moment.
Yet, Chadwick notices the second my eyebrows furrow as I look around and says exactly what I'm questioning.
"He decided to wait in the backseat already, we are a bit late." I hide the shock with a little smile, already walking outside before they see how affected I am.
The bad boy has never done something like this, not after we got so close.
My heart breaks a little and I don't know the reason why.
I head to the backseat of the car against my will, knowing that Kayla and Chadwick will be in the front, and Damien and I as a couple need to be together as well but we aren't one, not like this.
Damien looks out to the fucking window as I enter but the second I sit down he turns over to me and I see a glimpse of warmth flash through his hazel eyes before they turn into two stones again. The irony.
I keep the facade, swallowing back the agony of not knowing what's going through his head and why he's doing this to us. I need to ask, I know that, but my pride is too much to go through it all again.
We both look to the front as the love birds get in and Chadwick turns on the engine.
My heart slams against my chest with his presence. Damien chose to leave his leather jacket behind, rocking a plain black button shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the same color jeans and I always get butterflies with the way he looks. It's his presence above all, the way he introduces himself to the world.
It hurts to feel this far from him.
I expected he would say something at least about my outfit, that he would remember it somehow. I chose the same dress from that infamous party months ago, a sleeveless red one but this time it's even tighter against my curves, a result of all the practices we've been doing.
My long dark brown hair cascades down my back and the heels accentuate my long legs.
I'm not that scared girl anymore. I'm confident and I know damn well I look even hotter now.
It's crazy how much you can change from one moment to the other.
Damien has his hands in fists the entire way like he's resisting doing something and I try to look anywhere but him, trying to not care, yet It's useless, I care too much.
Fuck it.
I shift so I can get closer to him and run my hand through his cheek, caressing his skin. He tenses under my touch, the veins of his neck prominent and I rest my head against him, trying so hard not to cry.
"What's wrong, Damien? Talk to me," He gulps down, my hands trembling and I say as quietly as I can, taking advantage that the couple on the front it's in a heavy discussion over what it's the best way to break into someone's room. I don't even want to ask how they started it, "Please, don't shut me out."
He swears under his breath as I reach for his hair, caressing him like I'm craving his touch, which I'm dying for and I let out a low moan of satisfaction when his hand runs up through my spine.
He's opening up.
Let me in. It's all I want to scream at him.
"I miss you," The bad boy has his eyes closed, his heart slamming against his chest just like mine as I feel it with my hand on his chest and I can tell he's torn apart, "Tell me why you are like this, let me help." It's a mumble in his ear, pleading for him in all forms as my body moves towards him but from one moment to the other, he shuts me out completely.
His hands leave me and place me back in place, rigid against his body and his eyes dart out to the window again. I hide the shock, swallowing down so hard that it hurts, and soon crescent little moons form on my palms from how hard I tug my nails.
If I was sad, now I'm pissed.
He's doing this to us again, like what we promised each other, what we whispered against each other's skin that night meant nothing.
Luckily, Chadwick parks the car seconds later because I couldn't bear another minute by his side. Not in his state and the way he's throwing our relationship in the trash.
I leave without caring about any of my friends or my fucking boyfriend. Kayla screams my name but I don't listen to her, the urge to drink something to make those hypnotic hazel eyes leave my mind unbearable.
I curse to the fucking universe, taking a deep breath before entering the packed house in front of me. It can't get any worse.
I just didn't know it really would.
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{A/N: Hey babes! How are you all? Wow, be prepared for the next chapters that will finally conclude this book. A rollercoaster of emotions for sure. Did you like the chapter? If you did, don't hesitate to comment on all your thoughts and click on that little star below! Thank you all so much for 43.8k reads, simply surreal.
Hoping to finish writing all the chapters before the subscription for the Wattys ;) Excited to enter this year.
Be prepared for Chapter 38, that's all I can say. Lots of love, Ally.}