Steve and Bucky stepped out of the Subway into the sun. Bucky put his sunglasses on, while Steve just blinked up at the bright blue sky. It was one of those perfect spring days - just coming into summer where the sky was blue and it was warm without being too hot. Steve hoped it was a good sign for things to come. That a perfect first date would lead to a lot more.
They walked side-by-side toward your apartment. Steve straight-backed with his shoulders thrown back and his head held high. While Bucky is hunched with his hands in his pockets.
Bucky had started to worry. He worried that this whole thing was a bad idea. That trying to change the relationship the three of you shared already was going to put too much strain on everything, and you'd all end up with nothing.
He took his hand from his pocket and hesitantly pressed his palm against Steve's. Steve linked his fingers with Bucky's and looked over at him. "What's the matter, Buck?"
"What if this is a bad idea? We're happy, aren't we? What if changing it ruins it?" Bucky asked.
Steve smiled. This was a conversation they'd had so many times now, normally with him on the other side. These last-minute nerves he'd expected. But he'd expected he was going to be the one that had them.
"Buck, you are the reason I get up in the morning. When you were gone, I wanted to go right along with you. I couldn't even do that properly. Without you, I gave up on this kind of life. I became Captain America and that's all I was. It wasn't until you came back that I thought maybe I could have this." He raised Bucky's fingers to his lips and kissed them. "I literally kissed the first woman who was nice to me."
Bucky laughed. "That was Peggy's niece, man."
Steve groaned. "I know!"
"Just after her funeral and everything."
Steve put his arm around Bucky's shoulders. "Gimme a break, I was dealing with a lot of emotions. Peggy died. I just got you back. My friend had had me arrested."
Bucky laughed. "I was sittin' in the back of that tiny fuckin' car. If you'd just gotten in the backseat with me..."
They stopped walking at the stairs to your building and Steve turned to face Bucky. He ran his hand along Bucky's jaw. "I love you, pal. I will always love you. 'Til the end of the line. If you don't want to do this, we won't. But I like her. And I know you like her too. And... if I'm honest I think we both need her. Like you said. She's not part of that -" he gestured in the direction of the Avenger's tower off in the distance. "And she's so sweet and so good. Don't you want that?"
Bucky nodded. "You won't both leave me?"
Steve pulled Bucky into a kiss. It was deep and hard and his hands carded through Bucky's hair. When he pulled back he rested his forehead against Bucky's. "What do you say, jerk?"
Bucky took a breath. "Yeah. I want this."
They turned and pressed the buzzer to your apartment.
Upstairs you were having your own crisis. Ever since they had asked to go down this path with them, you'd been looking up polyamory on the internet. At times you were excited. You couldn't believe that these men wanted you like this. To know it was more than just a sex thing made you feel special in a way that no one had ever made you feel.
You'd spent the morning laying out clothes. Trying to get the perfect outfit for the day you had planned. You tried to eat breakfast, but your stomach was in knots. You managed to eat two spoonfuls of cereal before it felt like it was going to come back up again.
You had now been ready to go, dressed in a long white shirt over a pair of denim shorts and tan sandals. You had just been sitting playing with your fingernails, waiting and trying really hard not to chicken out. You kept telling yourself how stupid it was. You'd seen them every day since you'd kissed them both for the first time. They still came into your shop every day. So why was this different?
The buzzer went off and you scooped up your handbag and rushed to the door. "Coming down," you yelped into the intercom, and you dashed out the door so fast that you nearly forget to lock it behind you.
You took the stairs two at a time and jumped out onto the sidewalk. The three of you just stood, staring at each other awkwardly for a moment. The word 'mistake' screamed through your mind.
Then Steve stepped forward and put his hands on your shoulders. He leaned down and kissed you softly. "You look beautiful," he said.
"Thank you," you smiled up at him. "You always say that though."
"That's because it's always true."
You held out your hand to Bucky and he linked his fingers with yours. The three of you started walking back in the direction of the Subway station.
"Did you bring me a present?" Bucky asked as you walked along.
You grinned up at him. "You know me so well."
You reached into your handbag and pulled out a little wax-lined paper bag. Bucky pulled out a strip of flat misshapen chocolate dotted with salt and pieces of crystallized ginger. "What is it?" he asked.
"Chocolate-covered bacon," you replied.
He eyed you suspiciously and then took a bite. He chewed two times and moaned so deeply that you couldn't help but picture him deep inside of you with you pulling on his hair. It sent a shiver up your spine. "Good?"
"Holy shit," Bucky moaned, shoving the rest of the piece into his mouth and just talking through it. "Where have you been all my life?"
You laughed. "Well, I hadn't been born for 75% of it."
He elbowed you. "I was talking to the bacon."
Steve reached over you and took his own piece. This one was flecked with pistachio nuts. He took a hesitant bite, and as the flavors mixed in his mouth, salty and smoky and sweet, he closed his eyes and hummed. You wrapped your arm around his waist and he leaned down and kissed you. You ran your tongue over his bottom lip, tasting the remnants of the sugar and salt.
You made it to the subway station and walked down the stairs and through the turnstile, one after the other. First Steve, then you, and then Bucky. When you get to the platform Bucky wrapped his arms around you from behind, and you leaned back into him.
"How come Steve has had two kisses already and I've had none?" he whispered in your ear.
You leaned your head back against his shoulder and he pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was cut short by the arrival of the R train and you all climbed on, standing by the pole between the two sets of doors.
"I'm really going to need to eat," you said as you leaned against Bucky. Steve had his hand on your hip and Bucky put his hand on Steve's.
"Sure. We can take you to the Plaza if you like?" Steve suggested.
You wrinkled your nose. "Maybe another time. This is a low-key date. Let's keep it that way. Just a food cart is fine. I just was so nervous this morning. I couldn't bring myself to eat. But now we're doing it. I feel good. You're just my boys."
The train pulled up, and you made your way to the Grand Army Plaza. You stopped and got hot dogs from a cart outside and headed into the park walking towards the zoo. At the zoo, Steve insisted on paying, despite the fact you reminded him that your business was actually extremely successful and it was quite possible you made more money than he did. He doesn't back down - so you let him have his victory.
"The zoo was a good idea," you said as you started wandering the park.
"We debated for a while," Steve said.
"Steve really wanted to do the romantic dinner and dancing. But I was like, 'Steve, which one of us gets to do the dancing?'" Bucky laughed.
"We ended up deciding on the zoo because it was here when we were kids. We thought it might be nice to do something we might have done back when we were younger and dating," Steve explained. "Or he was dating and dragging me along too."
You nudged Bucky. "Were you a bit of a lady's man, Buckaroo?"
"I didn't do too bad for myself," he replied, trying to sound cocky but blushing a little.
"So you've been with women before?" you asked, linking your fingers together with Bucky's as a way to reassure him.
He ran his hand through his hair and feigned a deep interest in a Macaw parrot. "Yeah. A few. I've been with a few."
You tugged his hand and kept him walking. "Why are you embarrassed about it?" you asked. "You'd not be my first guy. Or second. Or some number down the list."
Bucky shrugged. "I just sometimes feel really disconnected from who I was back then. I try not to let it bother me. But something about thinking of those girls feels so alien to me now. I wasn't being who I was supposed to be back then. And now I'll never get to know what would have happened if I had tried."
You stopped walking and Bucky turned to face you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he nuzzled into yours. "I never knew that guy, Buck. I never knew the other guy either, the one you don't talk to me about," you whispered as you ran your fingers through his hair.
He nodded his head against your neck. Steve approached and ran his hands down Bucky's back.
"I know this guy though," you whisper. "I like him a lot. And I want to learn about what makes him, him. But not if it hurts you."
"No... no, I should talk about it," he whispered. "I will."
The three of you just stood there holding each other until Bucky pulled away. You kissed him before he was able to get too far. A deep, slow kiss. When you broked it, Steve took over from you. You noticed a few funny looks, but they quickly turned away and kept moving.
When Steve and Bucky stopped kissing you began walking again. "What about you, Steve? Have you been with girls before? What about that Peggy you drew?"
Steve shook his head. "Just Bucky. I went into the ice before Peggy and I had a chance to do anything much. I'm historically known for waiting too long."
You hooked your arm into his elbow. "Better not let that happen again."
Steve smiled down at you. "No. I try not to continue making the same mistake over and over."
"Only need to make it about twenty times right?" Bucky teased.
Steve laughed. "Something like that."
You spotted one of your favorite animals and rushed over to get a closer look. There were two red pandas. One was high up in the enclosure, sleeping curled up. The other was down lower chewing on some bamboo.
Steve nudged Bucky. "Look. It's you."
Bucky laughed and put his arms around both yours and Steve's waists. "These guys are my favorite. You know they have 6 fingers? The five regular ones and a modified bone in their wrist that acts like an opposable thumb for holding bamboo," you explained. "They're also evolved to eat meat, but their diet is 95% bamboo. So they have to eat so much to get the right amount of nutrients. Sometimes up to eight pounds."
"Definitely you," Steve added.
"How do you know so much about them?" Bucky asked.
"I just love them. I like to know everything I can about the things I love," you replied.
You spent most of the afternoon at the zoo. You saw the seal show and ate hot pretzels. It was fun and even with the funny looks, you all got sometimes, it felt good. You couldn't get enough of being with them. Steve got stopped several times. Usually by children but sometimes by adults wanting to thank him, and asking for hugs and selfies. A couple of times, they wanted to speak to Bucky too. Each time Bucky got a little quiet, but afterward, he had more of a spring in his step.
When you were done, you walked back out to the Grand Army Plaza. "Have you ever been on a carriage ride?" Steve asked.
You shook your head. "No, never."
"Me either. We should. What do you think, Buck?" Steve said.
Bucky smiled. "Yeah. Sounds good, Stevie."
The fact that you even seemed to be considering it, drew the attention of one of the carriage operators. This time you insisted on paying, and the three of you climbed into the back. You snuggled down between them.
"Thank you for taking me out. I've had a really good time," you said, taking each of their hands in yours.
"Thanks for agreeing to come. I know it's kinda weird. I'm happy you're taking the risk, honey," Bucky replied.
"Can I ask? How do you both see this going? I mean long-term. We'll never all be able to get married. Am I just a passing interest? Something to try out, so you can say you did it?" you asked.
Both Bucky and Steve's fingers tightened around yours. "No. Oh, darlin' you aren't that," Bucky said.
"This is new to us too. But we have talked. We don't want to rush or put too high expectations, on it," Steve explained. "We're not going in with the plan to break up, but for us to have a relationship. A full one, with all the things a relationship would have. A wedding is out - you're right. But we can still have a family if that's where this takes us."
You nodded your head and chewed your bottom lip. "Okay," you said. "I like that."
As the carriage wound through the park the sun began to set. Steve and Bucky put their arms behind your back and moved a little closer to you. You weren't quite sure how the kissing started - but it did. First you and Steve. Slow and soft. No tongue, but he did suck on your bottom lip.
As your lips started to tingle Bucky took over. His tongue coaxed its way into your mouth and pressed against yours. His stubble scratched your skin.
When you finally broke apart, you felt lightheaded and a little dazed. The three of you watched as the sun disappeared over the horizon. It lit up the city like it was on fire before all the lights switched on.
You headed back to your apartment via the subway. As you walked back toward your place, you decided to stop at a French bistro that was more cute than upmarket, and get something to eat.
By the time you got home, it was late and you felt amazing. This was the start of something. Something that had the potential to not just be good, but to be your love story. The one with the happy ending.
You took out your keys and turned to them both. Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you against him, kissing you hungrily. Your hands went to his hair and tugged on it as his leg pushed between yours. You whimpered against his lips.
"Would you both like to come upstairs?" you asked, a little breathless.
Bucky let you go and looked at Steve. Steve took a deep breath in and let it out as a sigh. "Not this time."
"I thought you weren't going to take too long again?" you asked, biting your bottom lip.
He put his hands on your shoulders and looked down into your eyes. "There is taking too long. And there's rushing things. I think for the three of us, it's important we don't rush. There's too much at stake."
You looked into his eyes and nodded. "I suppose you're right."
"I did have a really nice time today," he added. He cupped your face in his hands and kissed you. You stumbled back against a wall and his tongue slipped into your mouth. Your hands slid down his chest, hugging the contours of his body before slipping into his belt.
When he pulled back you blink up at him. "Wow."
He smiled at you. "We'll see you tomorrow," he said.
"Okay." You straightened out and went to put your keys in the door. "Hey, wait. You guys get to go home and have as much sex as you want. The only one who has to go slow - is me."
Steve laughed and shook his head. "Okay. Tell you what. Until we're either all ready, or we decide this isn't working, Bucky and I won't have sex either."
"Woah... hey now. Let's not make any rash decisions," Bucky yelped, holding his hands up.
"I think it's fair. We wanna do this together we should be in it together," Steve said.
"Yeah, Buck. If I'm celibate so are you," you teased.
"Fuck! What the fuck did I sign up for?" Bucky cursed. "Fine. Fine. No funny business."
You pecked his lips softly. "Thanks, Buck."
"Good thing I love you," he grumbled.
"Love you too."
They watched as you went inside before they started walking back to the subway. Bucky punched Steve in the arm. "No fuckin' sex. Stevie. You're killin' me here."
"I promise it won't be too long. I just need to be sure. But it feels right, right? I can picture us," Steve said.
"Yeah, and I will be picturing us when I get back to the tower and jerk off in the shower," Bucky grumbled. "No fuckin' sex." He turned his head and looked at Steve. "I tell ya what though. She offers again and I'm leaving you downstairs to wait for me."
Steve slung his arm around Bucky's shoulder. "I love you too, ya jerk."
Bucky rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I know, ya punk."