Rachel paced as she waited for the CD to load. It was after school and she was waiting for glee to start when she remembered what Mercedes had told her. She'd gone to the library to play it but it was taking forever to load.
She pressed the button to retrieve it then turned it over before putting it back in. It loaded in seconds. She frowned. Of course. She plugged in her earbuds and listened as the music started.
When it reached the end, she was in tears. It was exactly what she felt and never knew how to say. Rehearsals started at four thirty (though she and Mercedes were leaving after only fifteen minutes for her appointment) but it was three forty-five at that moment and she didn't know what to do. She felt raw and emotional and didn't know how to process things.
She felt like talking at that moment.
She dialed Jesse's number. "Jesse?"
M&Q&M
Mercedes held Rachel's hand as they boarded the elevator to take them to the correct floor in the therapist's building. The Jewish songstress had been quiet since glee and she was worried. She didn't know if she had listened to the CD or not either.
They stepped out of the lift and walked to the correct office. Hiram signed them in and they sat to wait for Shelby.
Rachel excused herself to use the restroom and per girl code, Mercedes joined her. "What's up?"
"I wanted to speak with you in private to tell you thank you." Rachel admitted. "That song has unleashed a floodgate of emotion inside of me and I have so many things I need to say. I listened to it while everyone was at a sporting practice and ended up talking to Jesse about a lot of things."
"Is that good?" Mercedes hugged her.
"Yes. I told him my fears about us and I even told him I loved him." Rachel sighed. "I'm ready to tell Shelby how I really feel."
"Marcy came up with the song. She gave me the CD last night."
"I don't know how to repay you both."
"We don't need repayment." Mercedes insisted. "We just need you happy. Can you do that?"
Rachel nodded. "Let's get back. I don't want them to think we fell in!"
M&Q&M
Artie was not happy. "But Mom-!"
"No buts! She should go out and have fun, too Artie! But I don't want her alone yet." Mrs. Janet Abrams was firm in her decision to let Lila join Artie on the group date with Gomez.
"But he's a boy! A Lopez boy!"
"Isn't Santana your friend?"
"Yes but-"
"No buts." She repeated. "She's going with you and you're going to take care of her. Is that understood?"
He sighed. "Yes, ma'am." She nodded. "But the girls are all reading this book BT ordered. What is she going to do while they read?"
"What is Maddie doing?" Artie had explained about the ten year olds going.
"Schoolwork."
"Lila can do schoolwork."
Lila listened from around the corner. She didn't want to spend her Saturday doing homework on a date but that date was with Gomez Lopez. She'd do chores with him!
"Okay." Artie pouted.
Janet couldn't resist teasing him. She cupped his chin. "Your sister is growing up."
"Mom!"
M&Q&M
Mercedes let herself into the house but immediately sensed something was off. "Hello?"
Things had gotten heavy with the Berrys and she was drained. She put a hand on her belly in a subconscious move to shield her daughter from ugliness. "Hello?"
Mrs. Gonzales came from the direction of the kitchen. "Hola, Señora Mercy."
"Buenos dios, Mrs. Gonzales. What's going on?"
"Su madre." She clucked. "She is resting."
"Why?" Mercedes put away her jacket. Puck had put her things in her car before rehearsals so she'd only have to carry her purse. She'd had to make him promise to put her things in their proper spaces before she left.
"She had an... accident."
"Is she okay?!" Mercedes clapped a hand to her mouth.
"She had too much to drink and took a tumble down the stairs." Mrs. Gonzales assured her. "She and Señor Jones was arguing and she missed a step."
Mercedes wondered if her father pushed her but refrained from asking. "Where is everyone else?"
"Señor Puck is in the den. Señorita Marcy is asleep. The arguing took a toll on her. Señorita Quinn left."
"What about Daddy?"
"He has gone, also."
Mercedes considered her options before going into the den. Puck was watching cartoons on Netflix and didn't see her come in until she sat beside him. "Hey."
"Hey."
She curled into his side and breathed deeply. "What's up?"
He peered at her underneath his long eyelashes. "Nothing much. I did my homework, your mom almost died and Angry Beavers is on."
"I'm sure she's fine." She knew it was weighing on his mind.
He began rubbing her arm slowly. "Who told you?"
"Mrs. Gonzales."
He nodded.
"Did she really fall or did he push her?"
"She fell." He admitted. "But he could have wished for it hard enough. They were arguing about his girlfriend again and she had way too much wine to be on the stairs."
"Where were you?"
"Getting Sprite© for Mini Mama. When we first came home, it was quiet. That's only cuz she was gulping back wine so her mouth was busy." His own twisted. "Mrs. G told us to be careful when we came in for our snack so we ran upstairs.
I guess I thought she meant they were mad or on the warpath or something but they started arguing not even five minutes later. Mini Mama had a meltdown. Q asked me to get some pop so she could have a drink while she took that one pill that calms her down."
"A Xanax."
"Okay." He didn't know what that meant. "So I went to get it but when I was coming back up the stairs, they were there. He grabbed her arm to make sure she didn't fall cuz she was at the edge of a step but she ripped away from him and fell anyway.
Freakiest thing I've ever seen. I couldn't even help her because I was behind him. But he just watched her fall." That really messed him up. "Then he walked down like it was no big deal and picked her up. Made sure she was awake, brought her upstairs and left."
She didn't know what to say. She knew her family confused him. Hell, they confused her! "She'll be fine."
He eyed her. He really hated the word "fine." "I guess."
"Why is Marcy asleep and where is Quinn?"
"After I stood there for a while, I remembered I had pop for a reason and took it to Mini Mama. She was just lying there with this weird look on her face like she knew what I saw."
"She has great hearing. She probably just heard Momma fall."
That wasn't what he meant. "I gave Q the pop and she mixed her a drink. She took like three of those pills and knocked it back. After that, she just lied there and went to sleep. Q said she needed some fresh air." He checked his watch. "But that was an hour ago."
"I'll check on Momma and Marcy." She kissed his cheek and stood.
He watched her as she left the den. He really wanted to protect her from her life but it honestly scared the crap out of him.
He didn't understand how his father could hit his mother. She carried his children and loved him endlessly. It didn't make any sense to him. But his father also didn't do it often. He could count how many times his father hit his mother.
He couldn't do the same for Marcus. He couldn't even count how many times the dentist hit his own children.
Steven Puckerman never hit Puck. He wasn't even around to contemplate it with Nic but it was a line that was never crossed. Even when Nadine did it, it was a surprise to both of them.
Mercedes had asked him why he stayed with his mother when he could have gone to Ruth's with Nic but she was right when she guessed it was for his mom. He wanted to give her a chance to earn his forgiveness but it seemed like after the courts made their decision on both cases, she gave up trying to pretend to be a good mother.
That was what hurt the most. The fact that he gave her another chance and she threw it away like it didn't matter. Like he didn't matter. That was why he didn't want Mercedes anywhere near her. Nadine brought everyone around her down and he was not about to let his family go through that.
He just wished they didn't have to go through her family.
It was enough to make him a deep drinker. Which was probably why the kids did it. He said he understood before but after today, he actually understood. The hopelessness, the despair, the feeling of uselessness and entrapment.
If it weren't for Nationals, he'd be lit up like a Christmas tree. But he couldn't let his team down. So he drank water and watched cartoons until his wife came back.
M&Q&M
Mercedes knocked on her mother's door before entering. "Momma?"
Rose shifted on the bed. "Mercy?"
"Yes." Mercedes closed the door behind her.
Rose gestured for her to come forward. "Come here, Mercy."
Mercedes shuffled closer and leaned against the covers. Rose patted the bed so Mercedes climbed in beside her. "Are you okay?"
Rose nodded tiredly. "Such a pretty girl." She stroked the hair away from Mercedes' face. "Such a good girl. Well, until this." She rested her hand against the baby. "What happened to you? You were such a good girl."
Mercedes pulled a face. "I am a good girl."
"Good girls don't get pregnant out of wedlock."
"She'll be born in wedlock so that's all that matters."
Rose lifted her shoulders in a slight shrug. "I suppose." She resumed caressing her daughter's cheek. "We had a suitable young man picked out for you. He came from a good family. They are a strong political family. Lots of money."
Mercedes grimaced. She knew of the boy Rose talked about. He was to be her arranged husband. After Laura brought Robert to Family Dinner, he was switched out so Laura could marry him but all the other children still had their suitors.
Their parents had made connections much like their parents before them to marry their children off to wealthy families to keep their lines strong. It was a sickening display of barbarity.
Marc may very well end up with his arranged wife if Laura stayed with Robert. That was the only loophole. Marcy and Mal had it with each other. They were intended for each other and another pair, a boy from Japan for Marcy and a girl from Italy for Mal.
Mercedes' arranged husband was from India. His family was powerful and that scared her to death. She never wanted to marry him and prayed for someone to come along and save her.
It was why Maddie called Puck and Sam princes. To save them from the arrangements. Because Maddie had a suitor as well. A little English boy, who was a complete brat.
That was why the girls of the family pushed Stevie at her so hard. They were adorable together but the longer Maddie could see she had options, the better her outcome of switching Big Ben out for someone who won't make her life hell.
In any case, they all had time. The arrangements were up when they turned twenty five. If they weren't married by that time, they had to marry who their family picked out.
"He would have been a great provider." Rose was saying. "You would want for nothing."
Except love and affection. Mercedes thought. Her mother must have forgotten that she'd met Rolland on a number of occasions and nothing in those interactions told her he'd be any different from Marcus.
Rose sighed. "But I guess Noah is alright. He's quite the looker."
Mercedes frowned. She hoped her mother didn't have a crush. Things would get ugly and stay that way.
"Raven will be very pretty. She'll have your eyes and good blood. Maybe his cheekbones?" Rose peered into Mercedes' face.
Wow. She's nuts. More than anything, Mercedes wished someone else was her mother.
"How are things at school?"
Mercedes' eyebrows moved of their own accord. "Okay. I guess."
"Are you still a cheerleader? I could talk to your coach-"
"No!" Mercedes lowered her voice. "I'm still a Cheerio."
Rose smiled. "Good. You're still popular. When I was in high school-"
"I have to pee." Mercedes struggled to lie. She halfway did but it wasn't an emergency.
Rose sighed deeply. "That's just as well. I should get dressed."
"Aren't you hurt?" Mercedes was shocked. She was going out after falling down the stairs?! "You can't go out drinking when you could have a concussion!"
Rose waved a hand. "I'm not going out drinking! I have a dinner."
Mercedes watched as Rose went to her closet and returned with a few dress selections. "What do you think?"
Every dress was small. Her mother had an hourglass figure. {You do the math.}
"The red one." Mercedes knew she picked out the dress her mother was going to wear for another man.
Rose giggled. "I was thinking that, too."
Mercedes climbed from the bed as Rose flitted around, getting ready. She walked upstairs and to Marcy's door. She went straight in. "Marcy?"
There was no response from the bed so she closed the door behind her and sat beside her sister. She touched her cold cheek. "Marce? Wake up."
Usually it was dangerous to wake up Marcy and Mercedes wouldn't have done it under any other circumstances but the girl had mixed drugs with alcohol. She usually awoke in a calmer state so Mercedes figured she could take the chance.
Mercedes tried to warm her cheeks with her hands. They always joked that Marcy and Mike were vampires because their skin was always cool to the touch. "Marcy?"
Marcy's eyes popped open. No matter how times it happened, it always scared Mercedes witless. Marcy blinked a few times before she focused on her sister. "Mercy?"
"Hey. Come downstairs with me and Noah. We should eat before it gets too late."
Marcy sat up and rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?"
Mercedes looked at the glowing clock on the side table. "Almost time to take our medicine."
"How was Rachel?" Marcy lay back down.
Mercedes blew out a breath. "She listened to the song." She peered at Marcy but her eyes were open. "How did you know the right one?"
"I didn't. I was just watching a movie and it popped into my head. I told you."
"Oh yeah. I just thought there might be more to it. I heard you had a rough time tonight."
"Not really." Marcy shrugged as she crossed her legs. "I've been having a rough time sleeping lately and it's just messing me up while I'm awake."
Mercedes frowned. "Why didn't you tell anybody?"
Marcy pushed the covers back. "It's not a big deal. I don't want to talk about it. I'm sick of being the freak that has to watch everything I say or do because they'll give me another pill."
"But they're to help you."
"That's what everyone says!" Marcy threw her hands up. "I feel like they're giving me medicine to shut me up until they ship me off to the wacky shack and forget about me!"
"We'll never let them take you away!" Mercedes recoiled.
"How are you going to stop them?! I will always be crazy, Merce. You know that's not going to change with us. We're stuck as the nutcases and there's nothing we can do about it! I will always have this... thing hanging over me! Why?!"
Mercedes refused to cry but it was a tough battle. "I don't know. I don't know why we were dealt this hand but I promise you, it will get better. I promise."
"It gets so light sometimes." Marcy whispered. "I can't see anything but shadows."
Mercedes' lip trembled. "I swear to you that things will get better. They will change. We'll be free."
Marcy looked at her. "They will change."
Mercedes cocked her head. The lost look in her sister's forest green eyes freaked her out. It was a look they all wore from time to time. "Let's go eat. I bet you're hungry."
M&Q&M
"Mal is too pissed!" Mike laughed.
Tina chuckled. "That's not nice! He's probably hurt."
"No, he's pissed. If he knew who the guy was, he'd kill him." It was nearly midnight and they'd been talking for hours. The conversation had been through many phases and swung to how Mal took a guy asking Marcy out.
"She can date whomever she wants though. We want them together but he doesn't have a claim on her."
He sighed. "I know. I just wish they'd get together, ya know?"
"Yeah. They'd be so much happier if it were the three of them."
"Hopefully, Saturday can change that."
"Speaking of; what's going on?!"
He chuckled. He was waiting on that. "I can't tell you!" Cuz I don't know!
"Why not?!" He heard the pout in her tone.
"It's a surprise! Now tell me about the girl group number. Is it coming along?"