Before Lauren could respond, the bedroom door burst open, causing the older girl to immediately scramble away from Camila. Unfortunately, this caused her to fall backwards onto the floor, groaning in annoyance.
"Dinner's ready," Dinah smirked from the door. Lauren glared at her, only to earn a wink from the Polynesian girl. At the mention of dinner, Camila clapped her hands excitedly. Without another word, the small girl hopped out of bed and shuffled down the hallway.
Dinah walked over, extending a hand to Lauren to help the older girl off the floor. Shooting her roommate an annoyed glare, Lauren accepted the help and brushed off her pants once she got to her feet. Camila was already long gone. Dinah held out her hand for Lauren to wait before they went downstairs.
"What did I interrupt?" Dinah raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing," Lauren snapped, shaking her head. "What are you even talking about?"
Dinah sighed, crossing her arms and giving Lauren a knowing look.
"What?" Lauren huffed.
"Obviously something's going on between you two," Dinah nodded in the direction Camila had gone. "It's pretty obvious."
Lauren's face faltered for a moment but she quickly composed herself. "There's nothing going on," she said firmly, nodding once before walking past Dinah and out of the room.
"If you say so," Dinah sighed. She followed Lauren down the stairs, but grabbed her hand before they reached a kitchen. "But if there was something going on, I'd make sure to tell you to be careful," she whispered.
Lauren's stomach dropped, and she turned to face Dinah. "Well good thing there isn't anything going on, then," she said simply before disappearing in the direction of the kitchen. Dinah sighed at her friend's stubbornness.
"Lolo, look!" Camila hopped in front of Lauren and held up a yellow bowl of mac and cheese. Lauren raised an eyebrow at Dinah, who only shrugged.
"It was all we had," Normani passed Lauren her own bowl over the counter. The older girl sighed, grabbing a fork and following her roommates into the living room. Before Camila had shown up, the four roommates usually ate dinner at separate times in separate places. Now, they all ate together. Lauren hadn't realized how much she'd missed spending time with them.
As usual, Dinah, Normani, and Ally all took up the couches, purposely leaving no room for Lauren. Not that she minded, though. The green eyed girl sat down on the floor a few feet away from Camila, who smiled widely at her with a mouthful of food.
"Someone's in a better mood," Normani commented, nodding towards Camila. Dinah and Ally both nodded in agreement.
"It's cause Lauren's home," Dinah smirked. Lauren glared at her, but it obviously didn't affect the younger girl. "It's pretty obvious how much Camila loves Lauren."
"Yes," Camila nodded once, as if she were confirming what Dinah had said. "I love Lolo. I want to kiss Lolo," she said casually, taking another bite of her food. Lauren, however, nearly choked on her own food. She looked to her roommates, who looked just as shocked.
"What did you say, Camila?" Dinah glanced at the other girl. Camila looked up and tilted her head to the side.
"What?"
Sighing, Dinah send Lauren a look of confusion, which the older girl quickly returned. Lauren's heart was pounding against her chest, and she swore everyone in the room was able to hear it. Had Camila really just said that? She couldn't have. Lauren looked over at the younger girl, who was happily eating her dinner.
Quietly, Lauren took her bowl to the sink. Without another word, she slipped upstairs and closed herself into her bedroom. As soon as she was alone, she ran her hands through her hair and began pacing back and forth.
What was she doing? Did she really have... feelings? For Camila? She couldn't.
She could.
Lauren groaned and fell back onto her bed. This was bad. This was more than bad. She was doomed. Why did she allow herself to get this close to the younger girl? Since when did she become so soft?
Since Camila.
The green eyed girl rolled over and buried her head in a pillow, groaning in frustration. Lauren hated feelings more than anything. But now here she was, being pulled towards Camila.
Camila! Of all people. Lauren was falling for the girl who she had labeled as her sworn enemy for all these years. But no matter how hard she tried, there was no way she could find a trace of the girl she had once hated in Camila.
This needed to stop. She needed to block herself off. This couldn't go any further than it already had. Suddenly, the image of kissing Camila's soft pink lips flashed into her memory and Lauren felt her heart flutter.
She had to stop this. She couldn't fall for Camila. For all she knew, Camila didn't even have any idea what love was. Lauren forced herself to pull out her phone, her fingers quickly tapping across the keyboard.
[7:32 – Lauren] Can one of you make Camila sleep in your room tonight? I don't want her in mine.
Lauren bit her lip. She knew it was harsh, but she couldn't risk getting hurt. She couldn't allow her feelings for the girl to develop even more.
[7:34 – Dinah] I'll take care of it. You okay?
The older girl quickly got up, locking her door just in case Camila got any ideas. She sat down on the floor in the middle of her room and pulled her sketchbook out of her bag, staring at it blankly.
[7:39 – Lauren] I will be.
She locked her phone and spun her pencil around in her hand a few times. Nothing interesting came to her mind as she tried to think of something to draw. She needed to distract herself from Camila.
Lauren lay down, propping her head up with her hand as she began aimlessly doodling on the paper. A few minutes later, an eye appeared, and Lauren studied it for a moment before groaning and slamming her pencil down. Camila's eye.
Camila's eyes. Camila's face. Camila.
That was all Lauren could think about. She quickly ripped the piece of paper from the sketchbook and sent it flying across the room. Forcing her eyes back down on a new piece of paper, Lauren bit her lip as she began sketching once more.
Lips. Camila's lips.
Camila.
Camila. Camila. Camila.
Lauren huffed, giving up and shoving her sketchbook across the floor. She rolled onto her back and stared up at her cracked ceiling. This wasn't good. These were new feelings for her, and no matter how euphoric they felt, she wouldn't allow herself to take them any further. She would not get hurt. She wouldn't.
After staring at the ceiling for god knows how long, Lauren dragged herself off of the floor and into her bed. She put in her headphones, blasting her music so she wouldn't have to hear Camila's disappointment when Dinah wouldn't let her into Lauren's room.
Eventually she fell asleep. Of course Camila was in her dreams. Of course. Lauren couldn't even control her feelings in her dreams. She was awoken by a buzzing. At first, she thought she was delusional and ignored it. But a few minutes later it happened again, and she lifted her head slowly. Two new messages flashed across the screen of her phone.
[1:02 – Dinah] We have a problem.
[1:04 – Dinah] Laur, please.
Confused, the older girl sat up, tearing out her headphones. The sound of her music was instantly replaced with the sound of sobbing from the other side of the wall. Camila.
All of her defenses were thrown aside and she quickly got to her feet, slipping out of her room and slowly pushing opening the door to Dinah's room. Camila sat curled up in the corner with her head in her legs. Dinah stood a few feet behind her, unsure of what to do. When the Polynesian girl saw Lauren enter the room, she breathed a sigh of relief.
"I finally got her to sleep, and not even ten minutes later she wakes up screaming," Dinah shook her head and sat down on the end of her bed. "You were my last resort."
Lauren nodded. She hesitated by the door for a moment, but eventually the sight of a distraught Camila became too much for her. Slowly, she padded over to the smaller girl and knelt down next to her.
"The bad things aren't real, remember," Lauren whispered. Camila's head lifted slowly and Lauren's heart shattered when she saw just how miserable the girl appeared to be. As soon as Camila saw Lauren behind her, she shot up and clung to the older girl for dear life. Lauren quickly slid back against the wall and pulled Camila into her lap, rocking the small girl back and forth. She completely forgot about Dinah's presence in the room. Making sure Camila felt safe was her only priority.
Camila's arms hung around Lauren's shoulders and her face was buried in the crook of the neck. She continued sobbing into Lauren's shirt, and the older girl wondered just how long she'd been crying for.
"Shhh," Lauren whispered, rubbing circles in Camila's back. "You're okay, I've got you." She rested her chin on the top of the smaller girl's head, staring at the wall and continuing to rock back and forth.
Laying near you, swear you can feel 'em.
Reach your hand and try to touch this skin,
But it's just you breathing
Torn fabric, wrapped around you,
Hands shaking, as you're reaching out,
To cover that mirror now
No one can take this from you,
No we can't carry this for you.
But you can stand if you want to,
Or fall if you want to.
I do feel same as you,
You can dance if you want to,
Or break if you want to.
I do feel same as you,
The same as you.
Lauren's voice slowly faded out at the end of the song, and she looked down at the girl in her arms only to realize that she had fallen asleep. The older girl sighed in relief. Suddenly, she became aware of a pair of eyes on her and cursed herself for not remembering they were in Dinah's room.
"Nothing going on my ass, Jauregui," Dinah smirked. Lauren just shook her head, freeing one of her hands and standing up carefully with Camila still in her arms. As she stood up, something caught her eye in the dim light of the room.
"What happened?" Lauren asked, nodding to the scratches on Camila's exposed legs, with blood spotted here and there. She immediately grew concerned.
"She kept scratching at them," Dinah shrugged and bit her lip. "I finally got her to stop." Lauren quickly realized what Camila had been scratching at. The scar from the car accident was in the same exact spot. She shuddered at the thought.
"Next time, come get me right away," Lauren nodded towards Dinah, not waiting for a response before slipping out of the room and carefully carrying Camila back into her bedroom. God, this girl was like her weakness.
Lauren laid the small girl on the bed before crawling over her and lying on the opposite side. She checked the time, thankful that she didn't have classes tomorrow. The moment her head hit the pillow, she felt a small figure curl up next to her. Lauren couldn't help but smile.
"Thank you, Lolo," Camila mumbled into Lauren's shoulder. Lauren was thankful the lights were off, otherwise Camila would be able to see how bright red her cheeks had turned.
"G'night, Camz," Lauren whispered before closing her eyes and falling asleep to the steady breathing of the small girl next to her.
—
a/n: literally the best part of my day has become when i read the comments for the chapter/s i posted. you guys are hilarious omg. i love you all. here's chapter 12. camila lets something slip in this chapter, let me know what you think!
- lena (@lenajfc on twitter, txrches on tumblr)