I make Chris a coffee and we go and sit outside in the shade. I still really can't get used to the heat out here. I'm used to cooler temperatures, rain, and just the usual British weather.
"Here you are, just how you like it" I smile and settle down opposite him.
"I swear other than Scarlett? You're the only one who knows me best Ev". He smiles weakly and takes a sip of his drink.
I now look at him with concern. "What the fuck is going on with you and Jenny?" I sigh and finally ask him.
He stares into his drink before his eyes come up to meet mine. "We called it quits weeks ago..."
I knew it.
"Why?"
"That ain't even the half of it. Ever...what I said to you when we ended things? They weren't my words...I should've fought for you harder..."
I stop him. "Ok, one thing at a time...start with Jenny, then we'll discuss what happened when we last ended things ok?"
Chris pauses and then begins. "You remember I told you she was pregnant right? Hence why I couldn't walk away the first time? Well...I only just found out the kid we lost wasn't even mine in the first place..."
My heart drops into my stomach. "What?"
"She'd been seeing someone else, she let the cat outta the bag when we argued, which ultimately led to us splitting".
"How? What was it over anyway"
"You" He now stares at me. "I told her things weren't working, we then got into a heated argument and she brought you up, about how close we were - during this she let it slip about the baby not being mine...so in return? I told her about us, what we were. It wasn't pretty to say the least but I was at a point where I wanted out". He continues. "Which brings me to that phone call I had with you after we came back home..."
I process everything and then look at him. "If they weren't your words? Whose were they?"
"Megan..."
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
"She pretty much talked me out of finishing things, telling me not to give up a good thing for something that could be over in months or even weeks...and stupidly I listened, because I thought at the time, yeah, it was the right thing to do. It wasn't..."
I wince and try not to throw up as I realise that Megan was the one to pretty much sway Chris into leaving me. Not considering that it could have been the best thing for him.
"I'm not here to try and win you back or any shit like that. I know you're happy with Scott, but you needed to know all this. Quite frankly I needed to get it off my chest".
"How the fuck have you slept?"
He shrugs, "I haven't..." and carries on, "Like I said before, I still care about you Ever, always will and you deserve someone like Scott. I'd rather have you working with me, us being like this? Than nothing at all".
He doesn't know what 'us being like this' is doing to me though.
I sit back in my chair and mutter "Shit" to myself. Swallowing the lump in my throat. "I respect that you know I can't do to Scott what we did to Jenny - even if that bitch did actually deserve it".
If I could punch her I would - bad press or not, she deserves everything she gets.
And don't even get me started on Megan. How Chris can still work with her is something I can't understand, but she's been with him for years. He's hardly going to let her go because of that. I would have loved to have seen him say no to her though. Telling her that I was his and that he didn't give a shit as to what would happen.
But what's past is past. He made his decision and he made the wrong one. He's always known it, just like I've always known just how he feels for me.
I can't be angry at him for that. We all have regrets and mistakes - even I do.
Chris Evans is and never will be one of them.
"I'm not asking you to Ev. We both know we can't go down that road again - it always ends the same". He tells me.
I nod, but deep down I know that all the roads I take, all the detours and twists and turns?
They will always lead right back to him...