DO YOU KNOW that feeling? When you aren't even crying but your tears won't stop?
That is what Jungkook was feeling. And he had to agree, it was a pretty shitty feeling. He was looking up at his ceiling, laying on their bed.
Their bed. Was theirs. Now, his.
The tears couldn't stop. he wasn't crying, not really. It was as if his eyes were a flowing tap; left open by a mistake. He wasn't feeling anything. Anything at all.
Numb. He was numb with everything happening so quickly. Totally numb.
He didn't feel anything when he signed the papers that morning. Didn't feel anything when they swapped their wedding bands. Didn't feel anything when she hugged him one last time. Didn't feel anything saying goodbye to his Eun. Didn't feel anything while working his ass off at the office. Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Numb. He felt like a useless person.
Didn't he want this? He asked himself. Didn't he want to divorce his wife? The wife he had loved ever since high school? The wife who he has a daughter with? Didn't he claim they weren't compatible anymore? Wasn't he the one who was feeling suffocated in this relationship?
He felt suffocated in the relationship, yes, but he didn't think divorce was the solution. He hoped, badly, that his Jae-ya would try to make things better between them. He would try to make things better between them. They would try to be a happy couple again, making time for each other, and their daughter. But no, that didn't happen. He was sad and extremely hurt that his Jae-ya had just given up on them just like that. On their marriage. On their love. On him.
He didn't want to cry. But...it's hard to let go of someone you've known, loved and shared your life with for so many years. He couldn't help it; his tears were not stopping. They were flowing down the side of his cheeks and his neck, wetting his sheets in the process. He was on the right side of the bed because his Jae-ya could sleep better on the left side. He thought he could open up. He had the right to cry. He had divorced the mother of his child today. The love of his life.
So that's what Jungkook ended up doing - crying all night long. Wondering where things went wrong.
Wondering... where their marriage actually ended before they decided to end it.
↷↷↷↷↷↷↷
author's note:
hi lol. am i writing another story? *rolls eyes at myself* yes i am. idk. it is what it is.
not sure how imma multitask and write: dance, best friend, coffee, and now this - dear diary.
we'll get there, for sure.
baby steps.
x
edit: exchanged rings, here means, that after signing the divorce papers, they gave back their wedding rings to each other. like, jungkook gave his ring back to his ex-wife [who purchased it] and vice versa.