Flying back to Monaco, I organised a catch up with the girls on the Saturday of the Grand Prix. We decided to hang by the pool for the day and watch the qualifying from the comfort of the cooler waters. Jack was staying with some family for a couple of days over the weekend which gave me a bit of rein to have some fun with my new friends and enjoy myself.
All laying by, or on the pool, we were having a blast splashing in the water and chatting amongst ourselves about anything and everything. I was really grateful to have been able to meet these people. I was even more relieved that I fit in so well to the group and got along with everyone as well as I did.
Chloe was telling us a story about her and Lance when they were growing up and it had the whole group in stitches. A lull in the conversation and an emptiness in the glasses saw Carmen and I getting up and offering to get some drinks for everyone.
Approaching the bar, Carmen looks straight ahead. "What is with you and Toto?" She asks, but never diverts her eyes from facing forward. It was like if she looked at me she wouldn't be able to proceed with the conversation and let it go. "Ive seen the way he looks at you." She continues, letting me know why she even brought this up in the first place.
I didn't feel as though I needed to hide anything from her. Even though we hardly knew each other, I trusted her and felt as though she wouldn't share anything I didn't want her to. "I guess we are dating." I comment, and it was the first time I had actually admitted it out loud to anyone. I never had to with Lewis because he just knew. "He hasn't explicitly asked the question but he is telling his older kids tomorrow."
She nods her head and smiles a genuinely sweet grin. She looks at me for the first time since she brought the conversation up. Grabbing my hands, she looks around and lowers her voice."Does he treat you well?"
"Better than I have ever been treated." I didn't hesitate to answer. She pulls me in for a hug. "Can you maybe keep this between us for now? I don't want everyone knowing and spreading the news." I say into the hug, hoping to solidify the fact that she wouldn't tell anyone until we were ready.
"Of course girl." She says, crossing her hand over her heart in the promise that she wouldn't. I smiled before the bartender placed the finished drinks down in front of us. "As long as I am invited to your wedding."
I chuckle at her response, slapping her shoulder before we pick up the drinks and take them back to the rest of our friends sitting over by the pool. "Easy tiger, we are a fair way off of that yet." I remark, causing her to laugh.
When we get back, qualifying is about to start so we all sit around on the sun beds and watch the screens. Cheering for our respective teams and partners, accompanied by some friendly banter, we all watched on.
Charles was flying and ended up finishing on pole position. Max was going to be starting second on the grid with Bottas in third. After a difficult qualifying session, Lewis was in seventh and would have to have a lot of luck to win or even get a podium from that position. Lance had a decent session and finished thirteen with George in fifteenth.
After a quick moment to take in the finish of qualifying, we immediately revived the conversation and between more margaritas and sunburn, we spent the rest of the afternoon by the pool having a blast.
Slinking into the hotel room later that evening, Toto was already asleep and after a quick shower, I joined him in the bed, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and drifted off into the much needed slumber that was going to encompass me.
The next day, Toto and I woke up and had a quick breakfast before going down to the track. I knew that Benedict and Rosa would be there and I was getting more and more nervous to see them. I had spent plenty of time with them in the past but I knew Toto wanted to broach the subject that we were dating.
My leg bounced nervously in the car for the whole trip to the track. Toto could sense my nerves and kept a reassuring palm firmly against my leg. Pulling into his parking spot at the track, he looks at me briefly before grabbing my hand.
"You will be fine Amelia. They already love you." I smile back at him and open my door, climbing out. We walk down the road towards the garages to check in on the team, Toto being told that the kids were waiting in there for him.
As we walk in, I quickly notice the tall boy standing in the middle of the garage. Toto had certainly palmed off his height onto his son, Rosi not as tall but still noticeably standing next to her brother. I begin to move towards them as they both turn to the sound of the closing door.
"Hey Amelia!" Ben yelled as we made eye contact across the garage. He was approaching us quickly, Rosi following behind him as he wrapped me in a tight hug. I stood there hugging him for a minute before he steps aside and lets Rosi move into his position.
"Meels, it's been so long." Rosi whispered against me before loosening her grip. She takes a step back but I keep a firm grip on her upper arms, holding her at arm length as I admire how grown up she was becoming.
"Hey guys, I missed you both. How have you been?" They both answered that they were good and excited to be on track to watch the race this weekend. Ben had a deep fascination about the sport and would often be quizzing Toto after races. He was more like his dad than either of them cared to notice.
We begin the move over to the motorhome to be able to speak a little more privately. They both go into detail about what the had been up to lately. They both were busy studying and had been doing quite well in school. Toto was looking on very proudly as his kids spoke about all the important and exciting things going on in their life.
The conversation begins to die down as we sit down in Toto's office, the kids sitting beside him as I take a seat on my own on the couch opposite them. I look over at Toto who smiles at me and nods, signalling for me to bring up the topic I had been dreading since my arrival in Monaco. "We had something we wanted to talk to you about." My voice is timid and gentle, the nerves of the conversation shining through.
"Amelia and I have gone out for dinner a couple of times." Toto's voice was much more confident than mine. The kids faces held confusion, obviously not understanding the concept behind the statement.
"Yeah... and?" Ben questions, confused by what Toto meant by the phrase. I look between the three of them, not sure on who to settle on. Both the kids looked confused while Toto, who normally does very well in hiding his emotions, had his leg bouncing out of nerves.
I looked towards Ben, smiling softly at the boy as he looked between his dad and I. "Like, dinner dates." I clarified, watching to gauge their reaction.
"Oh." Rosi was quiet, her emotions hadn't changed throughout the conversation was brought up and this was the first thing that she had said. It was merely a sound, but at least she was taking in the information.
Toto had grabbed both his kids hands and pulled them closer to him, them now resting in his embrace as he hugged them both on the couch."It's only new but we just wanted to let you guys know as it's only fair. Is that ok?" I was alone on the opposite side of them, and felt as though I was being interviewed as they all looked over at me.
"I mean, it's a little surprising but Amelia has been a part of our family for a while." Ben was the first to actually comment on the relationship, and it provided me with a little comfort. He stood up and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I smiled and thanked him quietly, appreciative of his attempt to ease my tension.
We then resumed talking before Toto announced that he needed to go to the garage and do some work with the team before the race. Ben decided to accompany him and I look over at Rosi who holds no interest in following her dad and brother to their passion and take the opportunity to get some one on one time with her. "Hey Rose. Do you want to go for a walk?"
"Yeah sure." She answers and follows me out of the office. We decide to take a walk through the public area to take in the atmosphere of the crowd. I link my arm in hers to make it easier to stay together and she gracefully walks beside me.
"Are you ok?" I ask, trying to understand how she was feeling. She nods. I carry on, hoping it will get her to ask all the questions she desires. I can see them burning behind her eyes and don't want to hold anything back from her. I want her to be comfortable with the situation. "You didn't say much is all."
"I am just a little shocked." She claims, and it was evident in the silence that ensued after we had dropped the bombshell on them and then walking out the garage. "What brought this about?" She asks, and I am relieved she is asking the questions she has. I just hope I can provide her the right answers.
I sigh gently then look at her, wanting my answer to be authentic and true. "Losing Susie was obviously hard for both of us, especially your dad. We spent a lot of time together mourning her and opening up about it all and it really bought us closer. At some point, we felt something that hadn't been there previously. And then, we carefully navigated through it."
She doesn't say anything for a while as we continued walking down the lanes. "Were you scared? Like, going into a relationship with your late best friends husband?" While someone listening in on the conversation may have found underlying cynicism in her comment, I knew she was trying to figure the situation out and truly understand how I was feeling about it all.
I stop walking and face her. I offer her a gentle grin and then answer her question in the only way I know how. "Of course I am. I am dreading the time when - if - we go public. I am not just scared of the potential public backlash. I am terrified of losing you, Jack and Ben."
My eyes were watering and it took a lot in me to not cry in front of not only her but also the public around us. I didn't want to draw any unwanted attention towards us. She pulls me in for a hug. "I might need some time to truly understand it but you won't ever lose us." I kiss her cheek and accept her comment. I wipe my tears away as we pull back and I grab her arm.
"We better get back for the race." I exclaim and we begin running back to the pit lane. The journey back was filled with laughter and I knew that we would be ok. Through it all, we would grow from this moment and bond in a way I could only hope would mean we were family. We run into the garage and put on the headset. Rose was still talking my ear off while I make eye contact with Toto who offers me a reassuring smile and a thumbs up.
Ben was sat next to him at the strategy table and I take the time to look at the two and truly appreciate the similarities in the two. Rosie and I watch on from the viewing gallery and as lights go out, we watch the race anxiously.
Through jokes and laughter, the race flew by and before we knew it the race was over with Max taking the win and Carlos coming second. It was exciting to see Lando who I had always been a secret fan of get third. Unfortunately Valterri had retired due to a wheel-nut error and Lewis had finished in seventh.
After quickly saying hello to Lewis and Valterri, I took Rose and Ben back to the motorhome to wind down for a while before Toto came. We sat on the couches, scrolling through our phones. The door opens after a while and Toto walks in, clapping his hands together.
"Who wants to go to dinner?"