I wake up on the first day of class as a Senior in college in my absolute favorite way.
Slowly, I feel myself being pulled from dreamland by a big hand, lazily tracing up my thigh.
The rough, calloused fingers feel heavenly against my skin, or maybe sinful, knowing who lays next to me.
I groan, stretching sleep from my muscles.
"You up?" The deep voice says next to me, his fingers now tracing along the seam of my hip, getting dangerously close to the area that I know is already craving him. I notice that his voice isn't gravely the way it normally is when he's waking up—how long has he been awake?
"Yeah," I say sleepily, even as my eyes began to drift close again. "What time is it?"
"It's a quarter til seven," Sukuna says behind me and I feel the heat of his body against my back as he shifts closer.
"Jesus Christ," I groan, "why the fuck would you wake me up this early?"
I can't help arching my back against him though, probably out of habit, and I smirk when I hear his sharp intake of breath as my ass touches him.
"C'mon, you know I have to go home soon. The boys miss me. I bet Jogo's been throwing temper tantrums and shit without me," he chuckles, the deep sound vibrating deliciously through my body. His hand trails slowly down my spine. "They're going to think I'm such a pussy for staying over here for so long."
I frown, fighting an exasperated groan. It's okay. I know he's a dick. I know he's a piece of shit. I mean, that's why I broke up with him in the first place. I used to yell at him for saying out-of-pocket things, and for some idiodic reason, I had made it my life goal to fix him.
Yeah...there's no fixing Sukuna.
I broke up with him when that become painfully obvious.
We're not together...but...we do hook up.
Often.
No one else can touch me like he does, and quite frankly, it's nice to not worry about commitment, a boyfriend, relationship goals. It's just his body and mine. Plus the occasional grating comments. Those are just the price I have to pay for this arrangement.
My thoughts are interrupted as I feel him squeeze my behind and then pull my hips closer to his. I feel how hard he is against my ass. I know what time it is. Just a little more arching and—
"Fuck," he mutters when his dick touches me. My breath shortens and I feel my heart start to pound. It's always like this, there's still that rush, that anticipation at the beginning, right before we have sex. Will I be able to take all of him? Is it going to hurt? Is he going to give it to me hard or be gentle?
He's never been gentle.
I gasp when he rolls his hips, pushes into me. This angle drives him deep right off the bat and I grasp at the sheets in front of me and bite my lip to stop myself from crying out.
One of his hands is still on my hip, sealing me to him, and the way he grips me is just on the edge of pleasure and pain. His other arm is under my neck, hand splayed against my throat. It covers the whole thing. He pushes my head back onto his shoulder and kisses my jaw, neck, shoulder roughly. I have a feeling he's going to leave marks.
"Sukuna, please...fuck" I pant, struggling to get the words out as he pushes hard into me, speeding up the tempo. "I told you...no...hickies!"
It's embarrassing to admit the word "hickies" came out in the loudest moan.
"Get on your knees then," is all he says.
His hands loosen enough for me to crawl onto my knees, press the front of my body into the bed, and push my ass into the air. I hear an appreciative growl from him a second before he slaps my ass, hard. I muffle my gasp by biting my arm.
What did I say about not leaving marks?
And then he's in me again.
He likes having sex like this, with him above me, looking down at my ass, my face shoved into a pillow. He likes to put one of those big hands on my lower back possessively.
I hate how much I like it too.
God, I love it.
My eyes flutter closed and I just let my body feel every inch of him. I almost wish I was facing him so that I could touch his tattoos and run my fingers through his silly pink hair, but the second I do anything that seems even remotely affectionate instead of just sexual, he always makes some comment like "Someone regrets breaking up with me" "Why are you touching me like I'm your boyfriend?" "I can feel how much you miss me".
He's never hit me with the "Please take me back", but I know he wants me back. I mean, he currently lives with four full-grown men in a frat house type establishment.
It's important to note that none of them are in college.
They're just a group of somewhat broke, dysfunctional adults who smoke weed all day.
I mean, sure, I love a good blunt too, but they are simply out of control.
When we were together, he lived with me, I cooked for him, I cared about everything he said and did. I juggled school, a job, caring for my druggie brother each time he showed up on my doorstep, but I still made time for Sukuna each and every day. I loved him. No matter how much he says he needs to get back home (and ends up insulting me with his comments), I know he'd rather stay with me. Because he still loves me.
It's not the other way around.
I feel his hand tighten on my hip and hear a curse under his breath as he pulls out and finishes on my back. His weight shifts behind me as he gets up to grab something to wipe me off. I curse myself for getting so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even orgasm.
I turn around when he's done, finally looking at him.
He's so treacherously hot that it's almost painful. The way his broad, tattooed chest is still heaving from the sex is so satisfying. His pink hair is mused from sleep and my fingers are still itching to dig into it.
"Feel good?" He asks, standing back up after cleaning me up. I stare at his naked body unashamedly.
"It was alright," I shrug.
He turns back to me, dark eyebrow raised. "What, you didn't come?"
I roll onto my stomach again to face him, tucking my hands under my chin, and shake my head. I watch him pull on the black pair of boxers he discarded on the floor last night. His narrows his eyes at my reaction and he pauses with his jeans halfway up his legs.
I raise my eyebrows at him.
Sukuna buttons his jeans as he comes over to stand in front of me. I have to look up to meet his eyes. There's something mischievous brewing in them, but I have no idea what that means. He reaches a hand out and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip and then cups my cheek. The feeling is so gentle and sweet and unlike Sukuna that I just about purr, leaning into his touch.
"I'll make it up to you tonight," he says before patting my cheek once and turning to throw on his white wifebeater that shows off his dark ink in the most aggravatingly addictive way. I swear, this man sets feminism back about a hundred years.
Well...no...it's probably me doing to damage because I'm the one who keeps letting him in my bed.
"I thought you weren't coming over tonight," I say, also pulling myself up out of bed. "You know, wouldn't want your bros thinking you're a pussy for spending so much time around me," I mock him.
His eyes are on my body as I comb through my closet for something to wear. It's the first day of class and somehow, even in my last year of school, I still have no idea what the right vibe is on the first day. Too casual and you look like you've prematurely given up on life. Too formal and you look like you use a physics textbook as a dildo and cry when you get an A-.
"C'mon, don't be like that. You always have to twist my words to make me sound like a dick," he huffs. Out of my periphery, I see him walk over to lean on the wall next to me, crossing his arms. It takes effort not to turn and ogle at his thick, muscular arms, which are now on full display. He knows those suckers are my weakness, damnit. I must maintain focus on my clothes.
"I mean, you just give me so much to work with," I sigh, pulling out a cropped white shirt and squinting at it. Maybe this could work with some black jeans?
"I think you just like being a bitch to me for no reason," he shoots back. I take a deep breath as I pull a bra on and then slip the white shirt on. This motherfucker just does not know when to shut the hell up.
"You know what I think, Sukuna?" I say, turning to face him, both of us painfully aware that I'm about yell at him while wearing a shirt and no pants or underwear. Somehow, we've been in this exact same scenario many times before. "I think maybe you are a pussy for driving forty fucking minutes every single night just to wait for me to say I'm taking your ass back. Well guess what? It's not going to happen. Quite frankly, I don't care if I never see you again, but every night you're the one who comes crawling back. I'm not going to turn away good dick but seriously, what the hell are you doing?"
My words hang in the air and both of us are breathing a little heavily now. I want to continue yelling at him, but I vowed to myself that I wouldn't fight with him anymore since we're not even together. I even my breath out. He doesn't deserve the effort and I know he won't take the bait either. He never does, even though I know it hits home each time. I can tell by the way his eyes turn dark and a muscle ticks in his jaw.
I almost have to give it to him, he's oddly persistent, even when I call him out for acting like a whipped fool. Is my pussy that good?
Honestly though...I'm happy he makes that forty minute drive each night.
And I think maybe he realizes that too. I think he understands that I'm a pushover when it comes to his body.
I turn to grab a pair of underwear out of my drawer, shimmying the silky black fabric on.
"Let me drive you to school today," he says behind me. I turn and give him a look, but he holds up his hands. "Hey, hey, I'm driving back home anyways. It's no problem, supposed to rain today too. I'm just being nice."
I have no doubt that there's some ulterior motive because Sukuna isn't particularly nice or generous in his day-to-day life. But how could I turn down a free ride? I check the weather app and, sure enough, it says it's supposed to storm all morning...
"Fine," I tell him, pulling my dark, ripped jeans up my legs. I feel a slap on my ass as I'm buttoning them and fight the smile tugging on my lips. Any second now--
"Jesus fuck, I love these jeans," he growls behind me as he runs a hand over the curve of my ass. Yeah, I'm a pushover, but these jeans are some convoluted version of a white flag. I don't want to fight with him. I just want us to continue doing what we're doing. I don't need any complications.
I slowly get ready for my first day while Sukuna lounges on my couch on his phone. Finally, I'm ready to go. I smack my lips together a few times in my mirror after applying some silky, strawberry lip-gloss and grab my backpack. I cringe at how worn out it is.
Just one more year.
"Let's go," I say, running my nails through his hair (finally) as I walk by him and out the door. He catches up to me as I reach the passenger door to his black Dodge challenger. Such an asshole car. I slip inside when I hear the doors unlock.
It takes some effort not to inhale while I sit inside. The car smells so quintessentially like Sukuna and and bad decisions. There's a deep, spicy man smell mixed with tobacco and a little weed. My body knows his smell like the back of my hand.
"You want to hit up Starbucks first?" He asks me as the car starts with the most annoying roaring sound. One hand is gripped on the wheel and the other is behind my seat as he backs out of my driveway.
I squint my eyes suspiciously at him. He's awfully nice this morning.
"Why are you being nice?"
"What, you don't think I'm nice? I'm hurt, Y/n," he fake pouts, dark eyebrows drawn together.
"No, I don't think you are, so why are you acting like this?" I cross my arms and glare at him. He's being confusing and I'm not sure I like it.
"Jesus, calm down," he says roughly, focusing on the road as he drives towards Starbucks, even though I never answered his question about stopping there. "It's your last first day of school. Big day."
"I guess," I mutter as I stare out the window. The truth is, I'm just ready to be done with school. I started university with so much naïve hope and so many silly dreams. That's what no one tells you about college. The biggest life lesson you learn is that life really isn't all that fun. Getting older isn't fun.
Maybe I'm just bitter. Shit seemed to hit the fan the moment I got to this city for school so I know I'm biased. It feels like these last three years have just been a flurry of mental illness, sex, heartbreak, and hard work. I'm tired. I just want to move to some tiny city on the coast and forget about everything. I'll work the most boring, monotonous desk job if it means I can have a fucking moment of peace.
At Starbucks, I lean over Sukuna to give my order in the drive-through. I put my hand on his thigh, half to steady myself and half to mess with him. I smile pulls at my lips when I feel him shift slightly under me and hear a mumbled, "Jesus Christ, woman."
"I'll take a venti salted caramel cream cold brew, please," I say.
As we drive to the pick-up window, Sukuna grumbles something about women and their stupidly large coffees but I don't argue (this time) because he's the one to pull out his wallet and pay for me.
I close my eyes in pure satisfaction when I take my first sip. Absolutely delicious.
"Good?"
"Mhmmm," I sigh, taking another sip. "Thank you."
Sukuna clears his throat, "Yeah, no problem."
When we get back on the road and head towards campus, I scroll around my phone, checking my notifications and apps.
Some ridiculous story on DailyMail about a woman named Demi has me distracted for a while. Eventually, I get bored and check the time. With a yawn, I see that my first class starts in fifteen minutes. I glance up. We should be getting close now.
Only...
WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ON THE HIGHWAY HEADED IN THE OPPOSITE WAY OF CAMPUS?
"SUKUNA! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"
He meets my wide eyes and then looks away. "You're coming home with me."
It takes me a few minutes to wrap my head around what he's saying. What the fuck is he talking about?
"What...What are you saying? I need to be in fucking class! JESUS CHRIST, it starts in ten minutes! Sukuna, what the fuck are you doing??" I'm beginning to fully panic now. Rain starts to hit the windshield. I want to grab the wheel, make him stop and listen to me, but I also don't want to go careening off the highway and die in a fiery crash.
When he doesn't answer, I start to see red. "ANSWER ME, GODDAMNIT!" Now I'm fully yelling. I cannot understand why he's doing this.
"We're getting back together. I can support us, I've been saving up and shit. I know you hate school, you complain about it every fucking day. We can live together, I'll make the boys move out. It can be like how it used to be!" There's a slightly wild, mildly insane glint in his eyes.
This man has lost his goddamn mind.
I've always known he's a bit unhinged, I mean, you can tell just by looking at him. But this? This is fucking cracked. He's never pulled anything like this before.
"Hell no! What the fuck made you think that I'd be fine with this?? When did I give you the impression that I wanted to get back together? Turn the car around and take me back to campus right now," I demand, the coffee I just drank is turning sour in my stomach.
"I know you love me, come on now," he scoffs, not getting off at the next exit to turn around. "This is going to be great. It'll be just you and me. I can provide for you and you don't have to do a damn thing you don't want to anymore."
"Uh, Sukuna? THIS is something I don't want to do! Please turn the fucking car around!"
He does no such thing. The muscle in his jaw ticks and his grip on the steering wheel tightens, his knuckles turning white. I start to feel sick.
"Please," I plead, grabbing his arm but also being careful not to disturb his driving. The rain is coming down in heavy sheets now. "Please turn around. Why are you doing this? I swear to God, Sukuna, if you do this, you're going to lose me forever--"
He glances at me out of the corner of his eyes before looking back at the rainy windshield. He doesn't stop. "Just...fuck, Y/n, just trust me, I'm going to treat you so well. You're mine, we both know it. No one else can love you, fuck you like I do."
"What the hell are you talking about? You sound fucking crazy!" I tell him. "I'm not yours, you can't force me to do anything! You really think you can just fucking abduct me and set me in a little toy house and I'll become your housewife? Wow, I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen."
I have a sinking feeling that he's not going to stop this car until we get to his shitty house. Damn, I should not have accepted his ride this morning. I should've known he was being too nice. I should have trusted my gut.
"Just shut the fuck up, Y/n," he growls, running a hand through his pink hair agitatedly.
We sit in a tense, simmering silence for a few minutes. Every road sign we pass reminds me that I'm getting farther and farther from home. This is so fucked. I want to do something, but the weather is getting bad and we're on a highway, moving fast.
I am so fucking done with him. He will never share a bed with me again and even though the chances of me getting back with him were zero to begin with, they've just gone into the negatives.
"I'll call the cops," I say, deadpan, staring straight ahead.
"No you won't," he scoffs. "You hate cops more than you hate me right now."
"Doubtful," I mutter, knowing he's right though. I won't call the cops because I don't trust them.
As we lapse into another silence, I try formulate some sort of plan. I consider just sitting quietly like the good, subservient girl that Sukuna apparently expects me to be. Maybe I'll make a run for it the second he stop the car. The problem is that he'd catch me in about two seconds.
Another option is actually going inside his house with him. Honestly though, I don't trust him enough for even that now. Something about him is scaring me in a way it never has before. I used the word "abduction" earlier for dramatic effect, but now I'm worried that he'll actually keep me locked up or something.
My gut is telling me that I should get out, like, now.
"I think I'm going to throw up," I say, holding a hand over my mouth.
That gets his attention.
He looks at me wide-eyed. God forbid I puke in his sacred car, right?
"Are you serious??"
I close my eyes and nod, clutching at my stomach.
"Fucking hell, can you look around for a bag or something?" He asks urgently. Gosh, says a lot that now he's concerned.
"I don't think I'm gonna make it," I grumble, swaying in my seat a little. "Pull over."
Sukuna curses, but quickly switches lanes and pulls to the side of the highway. I quickly unbuckle, putting my hand over my mouth and making a retching noise.
"JESUS, get out!!" He says, just about pushing me out of his car.
Say less.
At the last moment, I grab my backpack, and slam the door behind me.
I'm sprinting down the ditch and into the woods on the side of the highway. My foot catches and I slip, my knees hitting the ground. I'm up in a second though, adrenaline pushing me forward. The rains whips around me and I have to squint to even make out the direction I'm going. Just have to make it to the woods. Just make it to the woods.
I can't hear Sukuna behind me, but I have no doubt he caught on to what I did the second I slammed the door. If he sees me, he'll be able to catch me quickly. I'm banking on the heavy rain. His eyesight is kind of shit and I hope the rain fucks up his eyes.
I also know that he won't leave his precious car running on the side of the highway for too long. No runaway girl is worth something happening to his real baby.
God, fuck him to hell.
I race into the woods, triumph flowing through me even as I shiver from the rain drenching me.
Once I get to a point that I hope is safe, I slump against a tree and catch my breath. The tree cover here is dense enough that the rain is no more than a drizzle. Both a good sign and a bad sign. If Sukuna did actually come after me with the intention of dragging my ass back, then stopping here might fuck me over. I decide to risk it.
After about fifteen minutes of hearing only rain and forest sounds, I take a deep breath and take out my phone, trying to wipe some of the water off of it with my wet hand. Obviously, that doesn't work out too well. My hands are shaking so hard that I can barely type in my passcode.
Sukuna should be happy I hate the cops or else his ass would be in the back of a cruiser by now.
What the fuck is wrong with him?
And what the fuck is wrong with you? A voice in my head asks me.
Yeah, who knows. He abducted me, but I'm the one who is currently heaving against a tree in the rain in a forest next to the highway.
And I'm fully planning on getting to my first goddamned class.
My advisor told me last semester that if I missed any more school, I would have my scholarships revoked. No scholarships equals no degree because lord knows I cannot afford college without them. I'm on a short leash this semester and I cannot fuck it up, the end is in sight. I need to get to this class or else I'm fucked.
I shiver and pull up a phone number, hitting the "call" button.
It rings.
Once...
Twice...
Three times...
Oh, for goodness sakes--
"Yeah?"
"I need your help," I say, teeth chattering.
I hear a deep sigh on the other end.
"Where you at?"