Marley: Age 15
His lips were on mine before I could stop him. I needed to get away, but nobody was around and his hold on me was so tight. Everyone had gone to dinner as I was finishing up in the bathroom.
When I walked outside, I saw Tucker leaving his cabin. He was a friend of Daniel's, so I figured I'd catch up with him. I didn't know much about him other than that he was tall and had a strong Southern accent. So you could probably imagine my surprise when I approached him and he suddenly grabbed me without notice, locking lips.
"What is wrong with you?" I said, pushing him away. He stumbled slightly before wiping his lips with the back of his hand as if I was the one who came on to him.
The kiss was so unexpected that I genuinely thought I'd be sick. Whatever appetite I had for dinner was completely gone, and the worst part was that I saw a figure walking up to the cafeteria out of the corner of my eye. I'm not sure what they saw, but if they saw us and reported what happened, both Tucker and I could be in trouble for not being in the dining hall.
"I don't know," he said, looking as shocked as I felt. "I thought maybe you wanted to."
That had to have been one of the stupidest excuses I'd ever heard. Very rarely had I ever spoken to Tucker and all of a sudden he thinks I want to kiss him? Was this guy on something, or was he just delusional?
"Where did you even get that from? That I wanted to kiss you? I don't even know you that well!"
"It's the way you look at me sometimes. Haven't you felt it?"
Okay, he was crazy. Actually insane. Feel it? Feel what? Harassed? I felt that.
We were so going to be late for dinner. There was no time for me to argue with him right now. I would release my anger when I'd tell the girls in my cabin. Then I'd deal with that jerkwad Tucker later.
I left Tucker outside, knowing he wouldn't have the balls to actually follow me inside right away. Anna waved me over, having saved a seat for me. I grabbed a sloppy joe from the middle of our table – knowing I wouldn't have the stomach to eat it – and went to the salad bar to make myself a side salad. From there, I saw Tucker walking to his table where he sat by Daniel. My stomach sunk when Tucker looked up at me, horrified, while Daniel was laughing at something. I felt so dirty as if that kiss somehow made me a cheat.
As I brought my plate back to my table, Anna spun around in her seat, whipping me with her ponytail.
"What's going on with you?" she asked.
"What?"
She pointed to my hands that were holding the plate. I didn't notice how bad they were shaking, but now that I thought about it, my entire body was trembling. I ignored it and tried to focus on my food, but my appetite wasn't there.
"Guys," I said, grabbing the table's attention. I wasn't about to let what happened plague my mind, I had to tell them immediately. "Tucker kissed me."
A few gasps escaped from my friends' mouths. This was no doubt the juiciest gossip that they'd heard in weeks because I was obviously with Daniel even if we weren't actually a couple yet. Tucker kissing me definitely beat Emme's confession to making out with some random CIT named Chris. But the news of Tucker kissing me was going to spread around camp fast.
Anna punched me in the thigh. "Why didn't you tell me he kissed you?"
"It just happened, like, ten minutes ago."
The girls at my table were going crazy over this. Jessica Josephs asked me if I kissed him back, which obviously I didn't. Her twin Molly Josephs wanted to know if he was any good. Emme begged me to share as much detail as possible. Unfortunately for them, I didn't take notes and my mind was still spinning. It took me everything not to spew my guts out as I relayed the information to the girls.
I would later find out that telling my cabinmates had to have been the worst idea I had ever had. At the time, I thought it would be relieving to let them know, but in less than an hour, the entire camp was aware. I could barely show up to a camp activity without someone asking about it. A few people even had to nerve to ask if Daniel and I were fighting, and in all honesty, I didn't know. He hadn't spoken to me about it... or spoken to me at all.
During theater, – where I somehow got cast as Veronica in Heathers: The Musical – Daniel was acting so weird. He responded to me with one-word answers and didn't look at me once. Even when I stood right in front of him, reciting my lines, his eyes were always on the floor or on someone else. He was cast as JD, but whenever he spoke to me, he would look out at the audience. Every. Single. Time. I think the lack of eye contact alone pissed off Jenny since she was directing the play.
"JD, will you look at Veronica?" Jenny pleaded. She always called us by our stage names during rehearsals.
I never expected Daniel to argue with a counselor, but he surprised me when he said, "I cannot."
Jenny was not the kind of counselor to let frustration get to her, but she was not having it with Daniel. The play was in a few days, so everything needed to be perfect. This was the last practice before the dress rehearsal.
Even from the stage, I could see a storm brewing in Jenny's eyes as she used a finger to motion for Daniel to follow her. He had never been in trouble like this, at least not at camp. A part of me wanted to feel bad, but he was acting like a turd. The rest of the class watched as Jenny took Daniel across the cafeteria and into a hallway where they couldn't be heard or seen. Being the nosy girl I was, I had to eavesdrop.
"I'm going to take a piss," I told a CIT who was distracted by helping one of the youngins tie their shoe.
I walked to where the bathrooms were, then when I knew nobody could see me, wandered off to where Jenny and Daniel went.
"I don't care what happened between you two," I heard Jenny talking to Daniel, her voice slightly raised with frustration, "Make-up or your understudy is taking your spot. I know very well that Jeremy would be very happy playing JD."
"Then let Jeremy take my spot. I don't care. I have an understudy for a reason." Daniel was furious; I could hear it in his voice, even if he wasn't screaming. There had been very few occasions where I'd seen Daniel angry. (The first time was probably two years ago when I accidentally spilled ink on his white shirt while we were writing letters. He wouldn't look at me for an hour before I begged him to forgive me.)
"Does she know why you're upset?" Jenny had suddenly gone into therapist mode, her voice dropping and turning into a soothing you can tell me anything tone.
"She should," he said. "Everyone's talking about it."
My stomach flipped, and I could feel my breakfast making its way back up. He knew about the kiss. I figured – no, I knew – he did, I just didn't want it to be true. Tucker should've explained what happened instead of leaving Daniel to think that something was going on between us. It really was all a big misunderstanding.
I should've done the right thing. I should've gone back into the cafeteria like a good camper and waited to talk to Daniel after rehearsals. But I never cared about being a good camper, only a good person.
"You don't know what happened!" I yelled as I barged into a small room.
The room was small and had a colorful assortment of comfortable-looking beanbags that looked very used, a foldout table with a coffee maker, a package of mini cinnamon rolls, and a half-empty bag of marshmallows on top. There was an overpowering coffee smell, and it reminded me of the teacher's lounge back at school. This must've been where the counselors' hung out.
Daniel and Jenny looked shocked to see me. I kind of shocked myself with that entrance.
"I didn't kiss Tucker," I said, lowering my voice. "He kissed me."
That did little to help mitigate Daniel's anger. His brows were pinched, and he crossed his arms and puffed out his chest. (Why do men do that when they're angry?) The stance reminded me of when lizards got mad and would puff out their chests.
"Not really sure how that makes it any better," Daniel said, his voice dripping with acid. If I looked closely, I could've sworn I'd see smoke come out of his ears. Never in my life had I seen him like that.
"I don't think you understand," I was raising my voice again and completely disregarding the fact that Jenny was still there. "He kissed me. I never kissed him back. It lasted hardly a second before I pushed him away in disgust. I barely know the guy!"
I let Daniel register this new information. I would never do anything to hurt my relationship with him, and that definitely included not kissing one of his good friends. Who, by the way, wasn't even that great of a kisser.
"Wait, Marley," Jenny said. "Tucker made unwanted advances on you?"
I nodded, then looked at Daniel whose arms were still crossed, but now he was looking at me with a different expression: regret? Had I said something wrong?
I could see his throat bob before saying, "Did he touch you?"
My eyes widened at the realization of what he was asking me. I shook my head frantically because if you don't count the way he grabbed my arm to pull me in, then no, he didn't touch me. Not in the way that my friend was suggesting.
"Either way, I'm going to have to talk to Stacy about this incident. Is that okay, Marley? Tucker can get in a lot of trouble for what he did."
"But he didn't mean to do it," I said, not knowing why I was suddenly defending him. Tucker was a jerk, but if he got kicked out of camp, I didn't know if I could forgive myself for sharing what happened. "He thought I liked him back. It was a misunderstanding, all of it. I swear."
"Did you tell him something that would make him think you liked him?"
I paused for a moment then looked at Daniel. Memories of us kissing in my bedroom flashed in my mind. The adrenaline rush that filled my body – the way I could feel my heart pound against my chest. There would never be anyone else. Even if I was only fifteen, I didn't think there'd ever be a connection that strong.
"No," I said, hardly looking at Jenny because Daniel's presence was filling the room. He was all I could see. "I hardly ever spoke to Tucker."
Jenny nodded and then pulled out her cellphone. Counselors were allowed to have them on their person, but it was mainly for emergency uses.
She dismissed us from the lounge. and we made our way back to the theater group in silence. I had no doubt in my mind that Daniel would apologize profusely later for being rude to me. It was what he always did whenever there was some sort of conflict between us. The thing was, I'd never need him to apologize to me for something that wasn't his fault.