CHAPTER FOURTEEN
azalea
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･✧
Azalea grabbed her tote bag from the back of Scoops Ahoy, stuffing all the snacks she had found into it.
She got a bunch chips and candy from the vending machines, bottles of water, and a couple empty ice cream cones. It wasn't much, but the entire food court was closed—the only thing actually still open and operating this late was the movie theatre showing the last movie of the night.
Despite expressing her confidence to Dustin, Azalea was a bit on edge, nervous that at any second some evil Russian would find her. She kept the lights off to avoid drawing attention. But she was still moving fast due to nerves.
Which is why when the Scoops back door creaked open, Azalea grabbed the nearest weapon she could find and stood, ready to defend herself.
"Woah, woah! Hey!" Robin cried, arms raised in surrender, "It's just me!"
Azalea sighed in relief, dropping the broom she had previously raised to defend herself. Robin quirked a small smile at the weapon choice.
Robin walked into the dark room, using a flashlight she had gotten from Dustin. She shone it on the bag, "Snacks?"
"Yeah," Azalea smiled, opening the bag towards her to show the goodies, "Want something?"
Robin jumped and sat criss-cross on the cold floor, then patted the spot across from her, "Sit with me. It'll be like a picnic."
"I don't know," Azalea said hesitantly, "We probably shouldn't stay here. And shouldn't we find the others?"
Robin shook her head, "We'll be fine. We have to wait for the movie to end to try to sneak out of the mall with the rush. Besides, I puked up all the drugs, so you don't have to babysit me."
"Aw man," Azalea teased, sitting across from Robin, "You were pretty funny drugged."
Robin placed the flashlight between them, facing the ceiling for a dim light and snatched Azalea's tote to grab some snacks, "I kinda wish I was still drugged. Now I'm 'normal' again, my body hurts all over."
Azalea winced knowing the Russians tortured Robin the same as her for information, "I'm sorry...But I get it, my jaw is still throbbing."
"Let me see," Robin offered with worry.
Azalea titled her head to the left and upward, exposing her bruised jawline.
Robin absentmindedly ran her finger along Azalea's jaw, inspecting the damage, giving Azalea full-body chills.
Her breath hitched under Robin's touch.
Robin seemed to realize what she was doing and immediately pulled off of her, "Sorry...That bruise is kind of badass though."
Azalea chuckled, "Thanks."
Robin fidgeted with a Kit-Kat bar, playing with the plastic wrapping with her cheeks sucked in, internally debating something.
She finally filled the silence again, "Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Well, I guess I have a couple things I want to talk to you about. But, um," She met Azalea's eye, "I know I was drugged, but I remember you saying that your dad was working for the Russians? And you knew about it? And I know you don't want to talk about your dad, but in my defense, you brought it up—a while ago, but still."
Azalea squirmed. She did bring it up, and there was no more running from it. Her friends deserved the truth.
With a deep breath, Azalea took her tote bag back from Robin and pulled out her father's booklet she had found on his desk.
She opened it up and held in into the light, "After that day of translating, I was curious why my father spoke so much Russian, especially since we've been in Hawkins. I found this on his desk.
There, that blueprint, that's the key we saw down in the bunker. I knew my dad was working for the Russians. I just thought—maybe the code would lead to a dead end, or maybe if I helped you guys, I could somehow stop you from getting too close. But then I got curious, too. I saw those men with guns protecting the delivery and...well, I had to know what my dad was up to."
Robin's eyes scanned every inch of Azalea's face with concern. Azalea continued, avoiding eye contact, "When we were down there, I saw him. Except...this project he's working on, opening the gate, it's changed him. He's obsessed. To him, it's not about creating some Russian weapon, it's about researching and studying this world inside our own. He's...so different. I—I don't know. I just feel so guilty. For not telling you all earlier, for letting us all get too close, for everything that's happened that I could have prevented."
Azalea's chest felt tight thinking about everything all over again. She blinked back the tears that were welling, "And you got hurt. And Steve's poor eye—What if you all didn't make it out alive? How was I supposed to—"
She sighed, cutting herself off from rambling, "I would never be able to forgive myself."
Robin moved a bit closer, their knees touching, "You know that's the most I've heard you talk since I met you."
Azalea perked up slightly, meeting Robin's gaze, "What?"
"Usually I'm the one rambling on forever." She chuckled lightly, "It's nice to hear you go on and on for a change."
Azalea gave her a small smile. Robin continued offering her a sympathetic look, "And on a serious note, don't blame yourself. You didn't know that there was a secret Russian bunker under Starcourt, or that the room of boxes was an elevator. I know if you did, you would have stopped us. Because you're a good person. You're not your father, and you're not responsible for his choices."
"But—"
"But nothing." Robin cut her off, "Listen, if you would have told me the minute you found out that your dad was working for the Russians, I wouldn't have judged you at all. You are entitled to keep your own secrets, but I hope you know you can talk to me too...And besides, if you did stop us, we wouldn't know that the key was opening the Upside-Down thingy and that Hawkins was screwed."
Azalea sat in awe once again. As Robin sat, face full of empathy by the flashlight between them, Azalea didn't know what to say.
She understood.
A real, live person understood her.
She wasn't shooed away, her feelings weren't dismissed. She poured her worries out, and she was met with concern and comfort.
That had never happened.
Azalea had friends at her old school, but she had a habit of keeping everyone at arm's length. And while her dad was an excellent father, he was still a bit cold and dismissive.
Steve was her best friend, and they had connected that past fall, but Azalea was still quite secretive and distant, not knowing how to open up. Scared of opening up too much and spilling over. Even Dustin knew that there were things unsaid.
"Robin Buckley, you are unreal."
"Stop saying that," Robin rolled her eyes.
"It's true." Azalea shook her head, "I can't believe I've spent my whole life without you."
The two held a moment gazing at the other taking in their presence.
Azalea wished she could read Robin's mind and crawl inside. Just to spend a moment taking in all the things she thought, all the opinions she held, to know what she knows.
Azalea broke the silence, feeling a bit awkward. She placed her palms on the cool ground on either side of her, "What was the other thing you wanted to talk about?"
"Huh?" Robin asked and shook her head as if breaking out of a trance.
"You said you had a couple things you wanted to talk to me about," Azalea reminded, her statement coming out as a question.
"Oh, yeah," Robin nodded, shifting uncomfortably. She broke off a piece of candy and popped it in her mouth and changed her sitting position, "There was something I've been meaning to tell you..."
She then grabbed some more candy and fiddled with the flashlight between them.
"Are you stalling?"
"What? No!"
"You're stalling!" Azalea called her out as Robin grabbed another piece of candy, "Robin, we're friends now, like good friends. We're going to Europe together, remember? I just spilled my guts, so you can too."
"Yeah, but this is different. It might change...stuff."
What was so big that was stressing her out so much?
Azalea titled her head and softened at the look of pain on Robin's face, "You don't have to tell me—"
Robin threw her head back and groaned, "Noooo, I want to tell you. I will tell you. Just—if you don't want to go to Europe with me anymore, that'll be okay."
Azalea's brows furrowed, and though she knew that there was next to nothing Robin could do to make that happen, she just nodded encouragingly for her to continue.
"Um, so, remember in the elevator when we talked about the camouflage, and I said that even though you had great camouflage, I recognized you from school?" Robin asked. Azalea nodded slowly. Robin continued, picking at her nails, "Well, I noticed because...because you were always with Steve."
Azalea hoped she had hid the pain on her face well and waited for Robin to continue.
She already knew her and Robin would never happen. It was a stupid idea, and Azalea was even more stupid for letting herself catch feelings for a girl.
But why was Robin telling her this?
"It was so stupid, I was like, obsessed with him. Him and his stupid hair, and that stupid laugh. And well, then you came out of nowhere, became his friend, and I started to obsess over you too."
Robin pause only to glance at Azalea before quickly shifting her eyes away. She was nervous, fiddling with her bracelets and tapping her foot.
"You know, losers like me at school, we care about all that stupid popularity stuff too. And you got everything I ever wanted.
To everyone else you flew under the radar. Steve's quiet sidekick. Untouchable, yet unremarkable. God, you had everything I had tried for years at Hawkins to get. I wanted to hate you. So badly. Every fiber of my being wanted to hate you. You and your perfect smile, with your perfect friend, and your perfect grades.
And for a while, I did hate you. You sat a row ahead of me in Mr. Hauser's class, and I would just stare at the back of your head, hoping it would explode."
Azalea had no words, she just let Robin continue, drenched in confusion.
"But then there was this one time I saw you outside of school. I saw you at the Hawkins Diner, and again, I stared in a jealous rage. But you were there with Dustin and his group of nerdy friends, and that Byers kid who had disappeared. You paid for their food, talked with them, laughed with them. And you could see it in their little faces: they loved you.
When I watched you leave and drive them home, I remember sitting there feeling...empty. I couldn't hate you. You really were perfect. Not a flaw in sight. And I hated myself for it.
I'm telling you this because I want you to know...how hard it is for me to tell you that..." Robin scrunched her face, "I like you."
Oh.
"I like you, like you."
Oh.
"Since you've walked into Scoops, I was determined to find a flaw in you. Some sort of reason to justify all the time I spent hating you—or, well, the idea of you. And, sure, I found some flaws. But, they made me like you more.
Every time you opened your mouth. Every stupid joke, every complaint, every secret, every laugh. It made me fall more.
And I'm sorry if you think that's totally weird, that I like girls, or—that I like you. But I had to tell you...before we get killed by Russians."
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.
Silence hung over both their heads heavily.
Azalea was at a complete loss for words.
Robin liked her back. She like liked her back. She likes girls. And that girl was her.
This was exactly she wanted and exactly what she thought she'd never get.
"Please say something," Robin spoke up softly, snapping Azalea out of her thoughts.
Poor Robin looked stressed out of her mind, waiting anxiously for some sort of response. Good or bad.
"Robin." Azalea finally spoke, unable to stop the giant smile that began to form across her face, "I—"
"Jesus Christ!"
The door beside them slammed open causing both girls to jump.
Behind the flashlight blinding the two girls, Dustin spat, already upset from tracking down Steve and Robin earlier, "Robin! You were supposed to find Azalea and come back quickly. Quickly!"
Azalea squinted into the light, "Dustin, we were in the middle of an important—"
"I. Don't. Care." He seethed, "The movie is almost over, and we need to sneak out with the crowd. Do you want to be killed by Russians?"
Azalea sneered back in annoyance, "No,"
"Do you?" Dustin whisper yelled, shining the flashlight aggressively towards Robin.
She pouted, "No."
"No. Right. So we're leaving. Now!" Dustin ordered, pulling Azalea up to her feet, "Now!"
Robin followed quickly as the began to leave through the back hallways, "Dustin, I'm sorry, there was just—"
"Shh!" Dustin snapped back at her. Robin's eyes widened as Dustin muttered quietly, "Thin ice, Robin Buckley. You are on thin ice."
If the conversation she was just having with Robin wasn't as important as it was, Azalea would be laughing at Dustin's mood.
But she didn't even give it a second thought.
Azalea walked in step with Robin who was glaring at her own shoes.
She was probably losing her mind not having an answer. But Azalea knew now wasn't the time to tell her how she really felt—she deserved better than that.
She deserved better than all of this.
"We'll talk when we get out of here. Soon." Azalea whispered to her, hoping to offer her some sort of comfort. She brushed her hand against Robin's gently as they walked, "And Europe is still on. Definitely."
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･✧